"Damn it! You know why I keep losing?!"
"You know?! Huh?! Do you?!"
"It's because you won't shut up! You're messing up my combo inputs—can't you just be quiet?!"
"You wanna rap? Go do it outside! From start to finish, you just keep going. And you're still going? What, you don't even need water to breathe now?!"
"You're still singing?! STILL?! I freaking told you to shut up!"
The Fourth Raikage stared at the bright yellow "GAME OVER" letters on the screen. He hadn't understood what it meant at first, but after losing this many times, he'd figured it out.
It meant… he lost. Again.
He turned stiffly to look at his little brother.
"Oh yeah, Big Bro—"
"SHUT UP! Still rapping?!"
BAM BAM BAM!
After pounding Killer Bee into the ground, the Raikage finally felt a little better.
"This visual design is trash! That damn Fourth Kazekage is shady as hell—why the hell does his character look completely different from everyone else's?! Make sure to tell Sunagakure—every ninja deserves respect! They need to depict everyone's appearance accurately!"
Why does that bastard get to look cooler than everyone else?
What, the Fourth Raikage isn't handsome too?
Every time he remembered that ridiculous iron bowl helmet on his in-game model, the Raikage got the urge to declare war on Sunagakure all over again. But now… peace was more important.
And that bastard even had the nerve to give his in-game version some pitch-black filter! The second the stage changed to nighttime, all you could see were his eyes and teeth—looked like he activated an invisibility jutsu or something.
"And another thing—order ten more arcade machines. Put them all inside the village. As for expanding outside… we'll hold off for now."
With that, he ignored Bee still lying on the ground. With the Eight-Tails protecting him, Bee wouldn't pass out from a simple beating. He was probably just faking it so his big bro would give up the machine.
Well, the Raikage had work to do anyway. A quick session was enough.
"Don't forget! If you do, I'll lock you in the black room for a week—see how much rapping you'll do then!"
He spun on his heel and walked off toward the Raikage's office. Even though it was already late November, things were the same as always in the Land of Lightning. Not especially cold—just fewer thunderstorms lately.
He stretched his limbs, rolled his shoulders, and shot a final glance at the busted control panel he'd mashed into near-oblivion.
"Where's maintenance?! Hurry up and fix this thing!"
The build quality on these machines? Totally unacceptable!
Way too flimsy for a shinobi's hands!
...
"This speed? That look on his face—Kakashi's gotten faster since we last saw him!"
"Yeah, seriously. How else could he copy his opponent's ninjutsu using just one hand to input commands?!"
"He might've even mastered one-handed seals at this point."
"No filler at all! He almost won using just the opponent's own techniques."
"There's gotta be a bug in this game. Kakashi can't just copy literally everything, but in here, if your opponent casts it—you can copy it."
"Guys, it's a game. Calm down."
"Still! Even copying the opponent's ultimate move?! That's insane. When Kakashi plays Kakashi—it's terrifying."
"Not necessarily. If you pressure him early, you can take him out before he gets going."
"You mean a combo into an ultimate? You got your combo strings down already?"
"Almost. My basic attacks are pretty fluid now… just can't land the ninjutsu inputs."
"So you're still a scrub."
"I feel kinda bad for the Third Hokage. Kakashi's wiping the floor with him!"
The surrounding shinobi all nodded in agreement.
"Careful how you talk. Add 'in the game' before that or you might end up on gate duty tomorrow."
"Oh~ Right. 'IN THE GAME,' the Third Hokage's getting destroyed!"
"…Whatever makes you happy."
"That gameplay was clean. He'll probably score top ten on the rankings!"
"Most likely. We all know who's holding number one though—'Light of the Leaf,' right?"
"Actually, not today. ''Darkness of Shinobi' took first place. Those two are neck and neck every day."
"Huh? Really? I just got here. Haven't even booted up yet."
"Shhh! Focus! The Third Hokage's about to die!"
"Please add 'in the game' before that, I'm begging you."
I really don't want to be reassigned to border patrol just for stepping into the Hokage's building tomorrow.
Tap tap tap!
Click click click!
"..."
Kakashi rolled his eyes and glanced at Asuma beside him, who was starting to blush with effort. He let out a helpless sigh.
Are they all this serious about it?
Then he glanced at the screen again—his in-game version still had a good chunk of health, but the Third Hokage's health bar was hanging by a thread.
Yeah… he really is getting wrecked.
Maybe I shouldn't have picked myself as the character. I should've just surrendered.
The game was fun, sure… but the models were so ugly. If it weren't for the name labels, he wouldn't have even realized the pixelated guy was supposed to be him.
Finally, as the loud "GAME OVER" echoed out, the Third Hokage slumped to the floor.
Asuma drew a cigarette with a sigh, raised his head at a 45-degree angle, and let out a long, quiet breath.
In his eyes—was bitter disappointment.
His old man lost?!
And it wasn't even close! Even brought out Enma, turned his summon into a giant staff—but still couldn't beat Kakashi.
What a brutal game…
"I… lost?"
"Yes, yes you did."
Shiranui Genma, senbon between his teeth, impatiently nodded. "Time to give up your seat. It's my turn. Can't believe this game doesn't even have me—Shiranui Genma! Doesn't Sunagakure know I'm pretty well-known in the shinobi world?! I could show you guys my real strength."
"Well," Ebisu said as he pushed his sunglasses up, "The fact you're not included says plenty about your 'real' strength. Meanwhile, I'm in the game, so step aside."
"Oi oi! That's not fair!"
Kotetsu protested. "I'm not in it either, and my skills aren't bad at all!"
"I agree," Izumo chimed in. "I should definitely be in there."
"Seriously, you two?! Get back to your gate duty already!"
But Asuma ignored all of them. He silently pulled out another coin and inserted it into the machine, speaking in a low, determined tone.
"Look… I'm not just good at Hiruzen Sarutobi. When I play myself—Asuma—I'm even better. Originally, I saved this run for the old man. But now… it's time to show you my true power."
"..."
Do you even hear yourself?
Kakashi gave him the signature dead-fish stare, completely unimpressed as Asuma lit a cigarette and selected his character.
As for Kakashi himself—he didn't need to insert a coin since he'd won the last match. But he also couldn't switch characters.
That's when—
"Whoosh—"
An Anbu appeared beside him. Even though he wore a mask, Kakashi instantly knew who it was.
Uchiha Shisui.
"The Hokage is asking for you, Kakashi-senpai," Shisui said calmly. "He said your training's been a little too lax lately, and since he's free today, he wants to give you some 'guidance.' He's waiting at the training ground behind the Hokage's office."
With that—
"..."
Silence. Not just from Kakashi, but from the whole arcade.
Yeah… that was rough.
Getting destroyed while still at full HP…
The Third Hokage got annihilated.
A moment later—
"…Can I finish this match first?"
Kakashi's deadpan voice finally broke the silence.
He really didn't want to go.