I made the decision to return to Mansfield.
I moved immediately. I refused the caretaker manager offer. And then I submitted my resignation.
Next, I settled all my affairs and living arrangements in Bochum.
Seeing this, my father remarked.
"You truly take after your mother's personality."
"What do you mean, I take after her personality?"
"Once you decide on something, you move immediately without hesitation."
"Oh my, that's not my personality, that's just how Koreans generally are, ajeossi."
My parents, surprisingly, readily nodded in agreement with my return to Mansfield.
In fact, they showed signs of welcoming it. There was probably also the reason that both of them resided in London.
"Mansfield may be struggling a lot these days, but it's still a club with a deep history. If they can just overcome this crisis, they'll be able to soar again."
"If you had taken the caretaker manager role at Bochum and failed to avoid relegation, you would have had to bear all the responsibility. It might not be bad to start at Mansfield, even if it's tough."
"It's your hometown team, the team where you spent your youth, and above all, Lily, that child is there, isn't she?"
Perhaps the last words my mother had spoken in a suggestive tone were the biggest reason.
It wasn't wrong. My reason for going to Mansfield was not love for my hometown team. It was more like a love-hate relationship than affection.
It was simply. Because of Lily's end.
I had achieved countless successes. But what was left for me?
When I popped the championship champagne and came home to lie alone.
It was like eating chocolate.
A belated bitterness lingered in my mouth amidst the sweetness.
I drifted through the past in a void.
Only the stadium where I played in my youth and Lily's chattering voice from beyond the fence faintly came to mind.
But Lily, at least. Her, at least.
So, this time I chose. To never again feel the pain that remained like a brand in my mind, even while living a successful career. I firmly resolved not to regret it.
Fortunately, the first button was fastened well.
Around the time I was frantically wrapping things up in Germany and heard the news that Bochum had ultimately been relegated.
A call came from Lily.
"Colon cancer, of all things. If you hadn't forced me to get a detailed check-up at the hospital, I really wouldn't have known."
It was a serious illness. The illness that ultimately took Lily's life.
Rather than dying because she ran out of money and couldn't afford hospital bills, it was probably more that her symptoms had already worsened too much by then, leaving no way to intervene.
Fortunately, it was discovered early. When nothing showed up in the first check-up, I kept pestering her. This hospital, that hospital, eventually even going to London.
Lily was flabbergasted by this absurd situation, but when I stubbornly insisted it was a condition for me to take the manager job, she sighed and quietly continued to get check-ups.
Finally, a tumor was discovered.
It was so extremely early stage that the hospital staff even marveled at what a lucky case it was. They said the treatment would end without any side effects.
Thanks to that, Lily, rather than simply being surprised, looked at me with an almost curious gaze.
"I asked you to be the manager, and you became my lifesaver?"
"Don't worry about club affairs for a while, just focus on your treatment."
"How can I not care when I'm nominally the chairwoman? I have to introduce you to the coaching staff. There are also player transfer issues. Thankfully, the administration process will somehow be resolved, but..."
"Don't worry. I'll take care of the coaching staff and players. The team doesn't have a director or proper leadership anyway, right? You'll give me full authority regarding transfers, won't you?"
She pondered for a moment, then nodded. And she smiled brightly.
"Thank you so much, Yoojin. For coming."
That smile was enough.
As for the contract conditions.
And so, the managerial contract was finalized. Time moved quickly. Not long after the news of Bochum's relegation, the sweltering heat of midsummer, heralding the start of a new season, was already drawing closer.
The lower the league, generally the more teams there were in it.
Naturally, the number of games to be played increased accordingly.
Because of this, players' vacations were shorter compared to the top leagues. It meant the pre-season started early.
By the time I had settled all my affairs in Germany and arrived in Mansfield, about four days had already passed since the pre-season player call-up.
I sought out the training ground.
Through the car window, heading towards the training ground, a small crowd was visible.
Fans shouting, holding various signs and wearing uniforms.
Mansfield Town was in an incredibly complicated situation due to financial difficulties, numerous sale and acquisition rumors, club ownership disputes, and drifting problems. It had entered administration, and if a liquidation order came down, it wouldn't just be a matter of relegation from the 4th division; they might not even be able to participate in the professional league itself.
Fortunately, the fans protected the club.
The fans pooled their money, and the supporters' trust succeeded in acquiring the club.
And Lily's family, who were the most influential figures in the trust, were officially appointed as chairpersons.
Somehow, the worst was avoided, but the problems started from now on.
It was a poor club to begin with, and the city itself was not affluent.
The absolute population was small, and the number of supporters among them was even smaller.
The romance of a fan-run club made one's heart pound, but reality was harsh. Where would the money come from, and what would be done about the club's numerous debts?
To anyone looking, the club's future was bleak. It was a completely unattractive team for players. The same went for the coaching staff. No manager, no coach, wanted to come to Mansfield. There was no foolish captain willing to command a sinking ship.
'I've become the foolish captain.'
With a bitter smile, I arrived at the training ground. Perhaps Lily had already contacted them, as the security guard quietly opened the gate.
"I heard you're the new manager. Welcome to Mansfield... Yoojin?"
The oldish, portly man, who was greeting me through the window, opened his eyes wide.
"It's been a while, Jack."
"Yoojin! Oh, Yoojin? Is it really that Yoojin? The kid who skipped school and played football all day long, only to get a proper scolding?"
"Seeing as you are bringing up embarrassing memories, Mr Jack, you're still as boisterous as ever, truly."
"Wait a moment. No, wait a moment, this is a club car, isn't it? Then!"
Jack's eyes widened. He had an impression of his eyes being somewhat buried in flesh, but now they looked as if they would pop out.
"That's right. It's me."
"Good heavens! I heard news you were coaching in Germany, but a manager? Oh, dear...!"
"Whoa, wait a moment. Ju-just a moment."
Jack squeezed his portly upper body through the window.
My breath caught.
"Good heavens. Our youth star is coming as manager?"
"Are you disappointed? Because I have no managerial experience?"
Jack shook his head firmly. And he extended a strong, large hand.
"Not a chance! Welcome home, Yoojin."
"..."
"What's wrong? Is there something on my face?"
"No. It's because I'm happy to see you."
"Goodness, the kid who only knew training back then, went to Germany and actually became quite mellow, huh?"
Mellow, my foot.
If one were to see the face of someone they once knew again after more than twenty years.
Especially if it was the face of someone who had departed to a world they could never return to.
If one could see that person's smile again.
Rather, wasn't my current reaction too stiff, bordering on dry?
"Stop eating donuts."
"What did you say?"
"Donuts with black tea. That's not good. Not good. How much sugar are you putting in your black tea? Go to the hospital. On your day off."
"How can you drink black tea without sugar?"
"Don't drink it."
"Huh?"
"And go to the hospital. No. There's a hospital the players use, right? I'll speak to them there, so visit as soon as possible."
"No, wait..."
Jack wore an awkward expression, as if he didn't know what to say.
To be honest, I felt awkward too.
I was glad to see him, of course... but I didn't only have good memories of this club.
I gave an awkward smile and slowly drove inside.
At that moment, Jack shouted clearly.
"Thanks for taking charge of our team as manager. Thank you so much, Yoojin!"
I wore a bitter smile.
I hadn't even led the team to success yet. But words of thanks were already being heard. That shout made me clearly recognize the situation, so as not to regret the moment I came here.
'I've returned.'
To Mansfield.
And to the past, to this point in time.
Truthfully, it wasn't that I wasn't confused at first.
Hearing Lily's voice, who had died, over the phone.
The date on the screen being in the past.
While my head was blank, I had rushed to England without a plan, and only at the moment I saw Lily's face.
Did I keenly realize that I had returned to the past. That I had returned to Mansfield, which I had left, shouting I would never come back.
There was nothing left to deny now.
After the conversation with Jack ajeossi, whom I had only heard news of passing away after suffering from diabetes someday, I took a deep breath.
"If I had stayed in Bochum, I would have been on a roll, just like I experienced once before."
Now, I was confident I could do even better. The transfer of a failed player, incorrect player deployment, even the trend of advanced future tactics. As long as all of that was in my head.
I was confident I could do better.
But I had abandoned all of that and returned to Mansfield.
As the captain of a shipwreck in the worst situation, where all passengers were trying to leave.
Because of the reason I had to be here.
'Can I do it?'
A doubt clearly arose in my mind.
It was a doubt about myself.
A future prospect? A genius to succeed Messi? A pearl in the mud that no one knew?
What good was knowing that.
"They wouldn't want to come to this team."
That's what kind of team it was. At least, the current Mansfield.
'It's impossible alone.'
Be calm. Let's be calm.
Yoojin, the Champions League-winning manager, did not exist yet.
The English Premier League, German Bundesliga, Italian Serie A, Spanish La liga.
The me who had held the championship cups of the so-called top four leagues did not exist.
The current me was a rookie manager starting his first managerial career with a dead-end team in the 4th division.
I had to acknowledge and accept that clear reality.
Only then, only by objectively looking at my situation, could I prepare and overcome.
I parked the car in the empty parking lot and dry-washed my face.
Someone once told me that I was avoided because I was sensitive and negative about everything.
Yes, that was right. That was usually my personality. I was negative about everything.
But I believed that very disposition of mine was the decisive reason I had succeeded as a manager.
The reason I was negative was because I too easily found and recognized definite, glaring flaws.
Unless I somehow overcame and erased those flaws, I would break out in hives.
There was only one thing I had to do in this situation.
'It's impossible for me to sail the ship called Mansfield alone.'
A captain, by nature, needed an excellent helmsman and boatswain.
I took out my phone and composed a text message.
―Hey. Are you still writing reports for a per diem?
No reply.
But it was no problem. Because I knew he couldn't help but reply after seeing the next message.
―Isn't it time you started working seriously as part of the coaching staff?
Ding.
As expected, a reply came.
―What are you talking about?
He took the bait.
Then.
―How about starting hot, as assistant coach?
One had to pull the fishing rod.
And without delaying, in one swift motion.
One had to snatch it.
Only then could one catch it. The big fish.
Ding, ding, ding.
A call came instead of a text.
The name clearly appearing on the screen.
Maximilian.
Currently, a contract-based performance analyst for a semi-pro team.
A person surviving day by day on per diems from temporary contracts.
But whose passion for football was second to none.
The future Real Madrid manager.
'A true tactical genius.'
From now on, he was the assistant coach who would assist me by my side.