"Well…I already introduced myself as Jacob." Jacob's voice was calm and collected. It wasn't that seeing an eldritch monster didn't scare the life out of him, it's just that he has already faced death, what worse can happen?
God took in the sight of the youth in front of him.
Jacob was handsome, no doubt about it. Short, well-groomed black hair with a pair of ocean blue eyes that cut right through his soul. He had a high nose bridge with a bandage plastered on the middle. Was he injured? He was pretty tall too, seemingly 6'2 with broad shoulders and a well-built physique that was hard to hide even through his shirt.
However, one man couldn't possibly have it all, right? God lowered his eyes, his view on a specific thing between Jacob's legs–
"Are you done staring?!" Jacob yells out, instinctively covering up.
God ignores him.
"You're too perfect. How boring." God comments with a hint of frustration.
"Shit, how did I summon you of all people! Where's my virgin loser protagonist! Sigh, I'm for sure getting fired!" God continues ranting, raking his hand over his bald head.
"What do you want me to do about it? Just send me to the afterlife already." Jacob rolls his eyes, not wanting to prolong his fate.
"You think it's that easy?! The moment you were brought here, you were already off the death database. Kudasawa, you bitch! I already planned out your R-18 adventure with hot girls, overpowered abilities, cheat codes, AHH! The other gods were going to eat up the easy slice of life and I would be able to reclaim my Isekai God throne!" God paces around nervously, his white hands clutching his head.
"...What the hell did you just say?" Jacob questions.
"Don't you people watch Isekais anymore? Middle-aged, average man dies and wakes up in another world with cheat abilities and women. Eventually through the journey, the protagonist becomes more confident in himself, fixes his loser flaws, and becomes the man that others envy. Who do you think makes that slop over and over again to appeal to the masses?!" God explains.
Jacob blinked. "I'm guessing you."
"Exactly! But you're too perfect! Who can project onto you?! An actual competent protagonist who has to work for what they have, that completely breaks the status quo."
"But aren't people tired of the same old same old? You mentioned the other gods right? Won't they be tired witnessing the same journey over and over again?" Jacob responds.
"...That's a good point. Views have been deteriorating lately. Hm, quick, what's your flaw?!" God asks Jacob.
"What do you mean?"
"Sigh, forget it, it would be much quicker if I just did it myself." With a snap of finger, Jacob's world turns to black.
…
Thump Thump Thump
The familiar echo of the pouring raindrops outside were the only sounds flowing into Jacob's ears from inside the funeral home.
Jacob, seemingly a young teenager at this time, placed down a beautiful bouquet of flowers in front of a lovely picture of his mom and dad. His usually composed eyes were red, holding back tears. He couldn't cry, not when Nora and Landon were watching.
"Big brother?" His younger sister, Nora, tugged on his tuxedo, his younger brother, Landon, quietly behind her.
"What happened to mommy and daddy?" She questioned.
Jacob pulled out his best pretend smile.
"T-they're on a trip and we're holding a small party for them leaving. They'll come back once you guys are 18 alright? So, make sure to not cry and grow up well. We must have a good surprise when mom and dad come back, alright?" His siblings were only 5 and 6 years old with Jacob only being 14 himself, what would happen to them?