Silence. The one that speaks volumes.
The one that comes with pressure and not peace. The pressure that presses from all sides, like being dropped at the bottom a dark, endless sea.
I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. Hell, I'm not even sure I have a body anymore.
There was no light, no sound, just the singular feeling of floating. Or maybe sinking, I wasn't quite sure.
It felt like I was deep underwater. Freezing and utterly alone. But I wasn't afraid. Not really.
There was something so calming about being reduced to nothing but pure awareness. No pain, no noise.
It was also freeing. I know it is weird having the prospect of freedom when I couldn't move, but such is life.
It was also cold, but I guess that was to be expected, right?
"So this is how dying feels like?"
I didn't know if I spoke or thought, but I just communicated. Trying to figure out how it happened seemed taxing.
But I was grateful. Grateful for the easy death that I had. I just saw colour, then trees then this. For the Life I lived, this was a good deal.
"Maybe this is my own heaven."
Time did not exist. I just drifted. Drifting in my singular position deep under the sea.
Then... something shifted.
A tug, a strong one at that. Like an invincible chain that had now hooked onto me, or whatever I now was, and started pulling. Upward, downward or even outward. The sense of no direction was the least of my worries.
Then the cold began to lift. At first, I thought I was imagining it, like a flicker of warmth curling somewhere in the distance, or a memory returning out of sequence.
Then came a strange slow tingling, not on skin, no I didn't have that. Or maybe I did, who knows?
Then came colour. Not all at once, just threads of it, bleeding into the void, or sea in this case. A soft violet haze. A golden shimmer like sunlight through water. They didn't move naturally. They flowed, just like they did back when the plane crashed, or was it before? Just know they were more intense.
"What is it with these colours?!"
And then... sound. It was soft at first. Like a whisper. Then a hush of fire, a clink of glass and then a rustle of… silk?
'What-'
"Gasp!"
I sat up like I'd broken free from the surface of a dream, lungs flaring wide, sucking in air that hit my throat like warm perfume.
It smelled like orchids, or maybe even cinnamons. I just knew it was some expensive scent that didn't belong anywhere near jet fuel, turbulence or screaming passengers.
'That girl smelled like lavender, but it wasn't this rich. Wait! I have a nose!'
I blinked hard. The light stabbing into my eyes.
'I have eyes!'
I took in the light. No, it was just any light. It was Chandelier Light. I was in a room. A beautiful and Impossible room.
Above me, a sprawling chandelier glittered like droplets of crystals flickering with tiny flames. The walls were high and arched, painted in soft earth tones that looked stupidly expensive.
The bed I was in? It was easily bigger than my apartment. It had Velvet blankets, silken pillows and a wooden headboard that was carved with symbols that I did not recognize but immediately decided it was magical.
There was a fireplace in the corner. Can you Imagine that? This was the first time I had seen this in real life. And it had real fire! No smoke, no ash. It was just warm and friendly like it was glad I was there.
There was a marble table nearby that had decanter, fruits I could not name and a bowl of roses so perfect that it looked fake. I could even smell them from across the room.
It was like I had been dropped into a fantasy novel, one with a million-dollar set designer.
Maybe this was even a movie.
I sat up slowly, half expecting a direction to shout cut but no one came. I was alone in the room.
I swung my head over the side of the bed, my feet touched the rug and immediately sunk into the kind of softness that made memory foam feel like gravel.
I looked down.
No socks, no jeans, just a deep navy blue robe loosely tied around my waist. And underneath that robe was my body.
Or what was supposed to be my body.
Except that it wasn't.
My arms were longer and leaner. My hands were elegant, steady and not chewed up from sketching and gaming all night. My chest was broader and my legs more solid, like they belonged to someone who actually went to the gym on purpose.
Everything felt... tuned up.
Polished, optimized.
It was like I was remodelled into someone people saw in airports and assumed they were famous.
I took a step towards the mirror on the far wall. My earlier dizziness was completely gone.
No stiffness, just unnatural grace, like my body already knew how to move and I was the one playing catch up.
I looked up and then I froze.
The person staring back at me... was not me.
But it was, I could feel a faint sense of recognition. Like this had always been me. Like I had always been this.
The deep cedar skin, that caught the light like polished bronze. A face full of angles with a sharp jaw enough to cut grass and one of the highest cheekbones I had ever seen. It was like they were sculpted by a patient hand.
Storm-grey eyes that didn't blink, the pierced. And the hair... Silver. Not dyed, not old, just full and silver like the edge of a blade under moonlight.
He... no I looked powerful and dangerous. Like someone who ended empires or started wars.
Then it hit me.
My mouth moved before I could even process what I was seeing.
"I'm... Black??"