Lina was still in his room. Jay, meanwhile, was deep in a Pro Evo league with Finn and Leo, the digital drama of the game a welcome distraction. Almost two hours flew by before he remembered she was even there.
Finally tapping out, he let the other two continue their match and walked back to his bedroom. He knocked softly on his own door.
"Come in, Jay," a quiet voice answered.
He pushed the door open. She was lying on his bed, curled up under the duvet. "Did you fall asleep?" he asked.
"Yeah. Your bed is really comfortable. I could get used to this."
Jay knew she was lying. His mattress was a lumpy piece of foam that he'd already complained to the landlord about. "Seriously? Don't lie to me."
"I'm not lying."
"Whatever you say."
"I'm not."
He let it go, sitting on the floor by his bed and pulling out his phone. He needed to message his parents, let them know exams were coming up and ask for their prayers. The room was quiet for a few minutes.
"Jay," Lina said, her voice breaking the silence. "Do you ever think about this bed… being used for a battle?"
"A battle?" he asked, confused. "What kind of battle are you talking about? Sex?" He let out a nervous laugh.
"Uh-huh," she confirmed simply. "Ever imagine it?"
"Where did that come from?" he asked, trying to deflect. "I was only joking."
"I had a long talk with Annie about it," she said, her voice flat and matter-of-fact. "She said it's an amazing experience."
A little voice in his head, the same one that had been causing him trouble for months, screamed, This is your chance!
"What else did Annie say?" he asked, his curiosity now fully piqued.
"She said that if you have sex with your heart, it feels completely different. The pleasure is… incredible."
"Bahaha," he laughed, trying to sound cavalier. "You have sex with your dick, not your heart."
"I don't see what's so funny about what you just said," she stated calmly. "Why are you laughing?"
"Oh, uh… well… no reason." He was checkmated. Utterly silenced.
The awkward silence stretched until Leo suddenly burst through the door, which Jay had purposefully left ajar.
"You bastard!" Jay yelled, jumping. "Knock first, will you?"
"Why so jumpy if you're not doing anything?" Leo asked, a sly grin on his face.
"I'm not doing anything! Come in and see for yourself if you want proof."
"Nah, I'm good. Probably smells of spunk in here anyway," Leo teased.
"Piss off, you prick!" Jay shot back, pointing at Lina who was giggling at their exchange. "What do you want?"
"I'm heading out with Riana, she needs to buy some books. Finn's going out to get food. Want us to grab you anything?"
It was the perfect opportunity. Sam was upstairs, lost in his revision, and he wouldn't come down for hours. The ground floor would be empty. Jay's mind began to race, filled with filthy, wonderful possibilities.
"Do you want to?"
Lina's voice cut through his thoughts.
"Huh? Want what?" he stammered.
"That," she said, her eyes knowing. "I know what you're thinking."
"What? What am I thinking?" he asked, his voice cracking.
"You're thinking that with them gone and Sam upstairs, the ground floor will be empty. And you can do whatever you want with me. Right? Admit it." She had a tiny, challenging smirk on her face.
He was caught. She'd read him perfectly. "That's a bit of a leap, Lina."
"Is it true or not?" she pressed.
He sighed, defeated. "Yeah… it's true." He felt a hot blush of shame creep up his neck.
"Okay," she said simply. "So I'm asking you again. Do you want to?"
"Want to what?"
"Try it."
"Try what?"
"Have sex, you idiot!" she snapped. He had never, ever heard her use that word with such force.
His heart hammered against his ribs. He didn't know what to do. He just sat there, frozen, his mind a chaotic mess of Annie's influence and his own desires. He'd never even asked Lina about her past relationships, never pushed beyond their light, teasing banter. And now this. What was he supposed to do? He was a virgin. He suddenly remembered a friend's advice from years ago. When you get to uni, always have condoms. You never know when you'll need them. Maybe this was that moment.
"DO YOU WANT TO OR NOT?" Lina suddenly shouted, grabbing his face with both hands and forcing him to look at her.
"I… I don't know, Lina," he confessed, his voice barely a whisper. "I want to. God, I really want to. But I'm scared. I've never… done this before. Not ever."
"You think I have?" she shot back, her voice softening. "I haven't either. With all my exes, we never even kissed. I never let them touch me. That's why… that's why when we first kissed, I kept stopping you from touching me. I didn't want to…"
"I'm sorry, Lina," he interrupted. "I know I get carried away…"
Before he could finish, she stood up from the bed and launched herself at him, tackling him onto the floor. They were a tangle of limbs, her on top, him on the bottom. They stared into each other's eyes for a long, silent moment.
"I don't want to do this in half-measures," she said, her voice low and determined. "I want all of it."
He was trembling, terrified by the raw, hungry desire in her eyes. This wasn't the charming, easy-going Lina he knew. This was someone wild. Before he could process it, her mouth was on his, fierce and demanding. The kiss was so forceful it almost hurt, there was no pleasure in it, only a desperate urgency.
"Lina, wait," he managed to say, pushing her gently away.
"What?" she asked, brushing her messy hair from her face.
"You said… you said it's better with your heart. Do you even feel that way about me?" he asked, the question laced with doubt.
Her expression softened, the hardness in her eyes melting away. "You really haven't realised it all this time, have you?" she said, her voice filled with a quiet sadness.
"I'm sorry, Lina. I'm so sorry. I must be the stupidest guy you've ever met," he said, looking down in shame.
She lifted his chin with her hand and kissed him again. This time, it was completely different. It was soft, slow, and full of a feeling he couldn't name. His heart soared. This was it. This was the chemistry she was talking about. She kept kissing him, a deep, unending kiss. He held her face in his hands and felt something wet on his thumbs. He opened his eyes. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, even as her eyes remained closed, her lips locked with his. He didn't know what she was feeling, but he could feel the immense emotion pouring from her, a powerful, overwhelming wave directed entirely at him.
When they finally broke apart, she looked at him, her eyes red-rimmed and shining. "Jay… do you want to?"
He didn't speak. He didn't need to. He gave in.
Drawing on a vast, theoretical knowledge gleaned from years of watching films, he took the lead. He kissed her neck, her jaw, her collarbone. She was wearing a slim-fit, dark yellow shirt, and he began to unbutton it, one by one. She responded in kind, pulling his rare Atlético Madrid jersey over his head. His erection, which had been straining against his boxer briefs, was now on full display. He moved his mouth down her chest, unclipping her bra and taking in the sight of her breasts. They were perfect. He spent time there, leaving a trail of red marks on her pale skin.
He stripped off her jeans, then her underwear, revealing a sight that made his breath catch in his throat. Her skin was even paler underneath, and she was completely smooth, not a single hair where he expected one to be. He moved down, kissing his way over her stomach, down her thighs, his mind reeling with the new, intimate scent of her. She moaned softly, her hands tangling in his hair, her grip tightening whenever he did something that felt especially good.
He explored every inch of her, until finally, they reached the point of no return.
"Lina, are you sure?" he whispered in her ear.
"Yes, I'm sure, Jay. One hundred percent. Do it," she whispered back, pulling him into a tight embrace.
"Can you… take this off?" he asked, nodding towards his boxers, which were now painfully tight.
She just nodded. He stood up, and she knelt on the bed, slowly pulling them down. When he was fully exposed, she just stared, mesmerised. He gently guided her, showing her how to touch him, first with her hands, then with her mouth. It took a long time, but when he finally came in her mouth, he whispered, "Swallow. It's good for you."
To his surprise, she did.
The foreplay was over. It was time for the main event.
It was intense and clumsy, fuelled more by months of pent-up passion than actual skill. After fifteen minutes of frantic, breathless energy, he pulled out and came on her stomach. He looked down, and his blood ran cold. He was covered in blood. A lot of it. He started to panic, thinking something was terribly wrong, but Lina quickly explained what it was. He understood, and an immense wave of guilt washed over him.
They held each other, and they both cried. He cried out of guilt and overwhelming emotion. She sobbed into his back, her body shaking, her arms wrapped tightly around him.
When it was all over, she went to the bathroom to clean up. As she was about to walk out naked, he stopped her. No one else was getting a free show. After she left, he looked at his bed. The light blue sheets were ruined, a dark red stain spreading across the middle and soaking through to the mattress. Shit. He stripped the bed, replacing the sheet with his black one, the one with The Flash logo on it. It would have to do.
Lina came back, her expression a strange mixture of sadness and bliss.
"So… how was that?" he asked softly. "A first for you, and for me."
"It was incredible, Jay," she said. "I did it with my heart. You did too, right?"
"Yeah," he said. "Come here." He patted the spot on the bed next to him. She curled up beside him, resting her head on his shoulder.
"Stay with me always, okay?" she whispered.
"Okay," he replied simply.
"I'm so happy, Jay. It was a beautiful experience. I gave you my first time. I gave my virginity to you." She smiled up at him, a sweet, trusting smile.
"Me too, Lina," he said, smiling back. "I can't believe my first time was with you. The person I admire, the person I protect, the one every guy on campus wants. I gave my virginity to you."
"This was a moment that I couldn't forget for the rest of my life, Jay," she said.
He didn't know what to say. He was happy, but also sad and terrified. The weight of what they had done settled on him like a physical presence. He was responsible for her now. He leaned over and kissed her forehead, and she pulled him into another warm, all-encompassing hug.
He left her sleeping in his bed and went out to the living room. He picked up the PS3 controller and started a game, but he couldn't concentrate. Her last words echoed in his mind. For the rest of my life. His head throbbed. His chest felt tight. He felt sick. Was he ready for this? Was he worthy of being the person she had chosen? Was he good enough to be her guardian angel?
The questions swirled in his head until, at some point, his exhaustion won. He fell asleep on the sofa, the controller still clutched in his hand.