Waving his hand, Xu Lun sent Hili Alice's body and that special corpse into the Workshop. He even went in and told Banana not to decompose them, as he would handle them personally.
Under the temptation of removing the 'intern' prefix, this Banana had fully exercised his initiative. Without a word, Xu Lun was truly afraid that this artificial idiot would decompose these two as well, just to meet his quota.
Seeing Saeko Busujima still looking distraught, Xu Lun could only pull her and whisper, "We need to leave quickly."
Unbeknownst to them, the Hospital's exterior was already swarming with densely packed zombies.
Xu Lun had no choice but to lead Saeko Busujima out through another passage. To return to the villa, they would have to take a detour.
Given their current condition, it was best to rest and recover some physical and mental energy before continuing. Eventually, Xu Lun found a seemingly safe temple nearby.
It was a small shrine, with red prayer slips still fluttering in the wind at the entrance. Xu Lun pushed open the main door, and Saeko Busujima silently walked in and sat to the side.
Xu Lun, on the other hand, inspected the shrine, making sure there were no hidden zombies. Surprisingly, it was remarkably clean, with no traces of blood, as if it hadn't been invaded by zombies. Xu Lun even found a Katana in a corner. He picked it up and swung it a few times, surprised to find that it was a sharpened weapon, not just a decorative item.
"Busujima will probably like it."
Xu Lun sat in front of Saeko Busujima and placed the Katana beside her.
He then took out a packet of biscuits, opened it, and offered it to Saeko Busujima.
"Want something to eat?"
Saeko Busujima opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but ultimately gave up, slowly closing her mouth. For a moment, the atmosphere became silent again, with only Xu Lun's crunching sounds echoing in the air.
After a long time, Saeko Busujima finally broke the silence, uttering a faint voice: "I'm sorry."
Xu Lun stopped chewing and asked, "Why are you apologizing?"
Saeko Busujima looked up, apologizing to Xu Lun, "Just now, because of me, I didn't shoot in time and almost put you in danger."
"About that, even though I don't know what exactly happened to you, you still shot in the end, didn't you?"
Saeko Busujima hugged her knees tightly, a hint of struggle in her azure eyes. She looked exceptionally fragile, no longer possessing her previous heroic demeanor.
"Aren't you going to ask anything?"
"Perhaps the reason means nothing to you. Will you listen to me?"
Xu Lun shrugged, answering truthfully, "In fact, I am very curious, but I feel it would be better if you told me yourself."
"Xu Lun is very gentle."
She turned her head and began to softly explain the reason: "It was a child's face..."
"When I saw the true form of its core in its throat, I suddenly remembered, I remembered a fear."
"You should know it's already a monster."
Xu Lun reminded her expressionlessly, while inwardly complaining: 'No, you usually don't hesitate when cutting zombies. They're all zombies, are you discriminating based on age?'
"I know it's no longer human, but I was really scared."
"Perhaps to you, a monster is just a monster, and its identity before death is meaningless."
"But it suddenly made me remember, it made me remember that fear."
Facing a more puzzled Xu Lun, Saeko Busujima began to speak.
"Since the zombie crisis broke out, I haven't felt any fear."
"When I counterattacked with my wooden sword, the feeling of flesh colliding actually made me feel a long-lost joy."
PTSD
Listening to Saeko Busujima's words, Xu Lun thought of this term.
PTSD, also known as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a type of stress disorder with severe clinical symptoms, poor prognosis, and potential brain damage among stress-related disorders. It refers to a type of stress-related disorder that occurs relatively late after an individual experiences an abnormally intense psychological stressor, such as experiencing, witnessing, or being confronted with one or more actual deaths involving oneself or others, or being threatened with death, or serious injury, or a threat to physical integrity, leading to delayed onset and persistent mental disorders.
"Busujima, perhaps you should relax your mind. They are just monsters. I have also killed many, and I feel happy (when I get energy)."
Trying to comfort Saeko Busujima, Xu Lun silently prayed that Shizuka Marikawa could treat psychological illnesses.
Saeko Busujima shook her head and said, "No, Xu Lun, I am different from you."
"Before the apocalypse, I was already like this, and I even attacked living people."
"Four years ago, I encountered a thug on the road at night. I used a wooden sword to break that man's thigh bone and shoulder bone."
"The police, who understood what happened, took me home in a patrol car, treating me as a victim."
"Only broke his leg and shoulder bones? Why were you so light-handed?" Xu Lun asked curiously.
Choked by Xu Lun's focus, Saeko Busujima continued to recount her experience.
"The difficult part is that what has been restraining me is not the incident itself, but the discovery of my true nature."
"At the same time I found that person who could clearly be called an enemy, I felt a sense of pleasure."
"At that time, holding a wooden sword, I clearly knew my strength, yet I deliberately pretended to be very scared to lure that thug closer."
"It was too exciting, truly unimaginably exciting."
"This is the real me."
"The true nature of Saeko Busujima!"
"I am just someone who is intoxicated by power and enjoys the pleasure in it."
"Since that incident, I have suppressed myself, Camouflageing a docile and gentle appearance, as if I had forgotten what happened four years ago."
"Then, the apocalypse broke out."
"When I encountered that group of robbers in the morning, I felt it. I hadn't changed at all from before; in fact, that feeling had become even stronger."
"These past two days, I even had a despicable thought: I hoped this apocalypse would never end."
"The moment I saw Hili Alice, I couldn't pull the trigger. Years of guilt continuously spread from my body, and fear made me feel as if I had fallen into an ice cellar. My body trembled so much that I couldn't move, and even breathing stung my lungs."
"What's the difference between me and a monster? Can I still be called a normal person? Do I really deserve to live?"
Saeko Busujima's voice went from calm to hysterical, then to confusion, as she looked at Xu Lun with some pain.
And Xu Lun, he was contemplating the possibility of slapping her awake, but unfortunately, Saeko Busujima wasn't crying; otherwise, with the 'What's wrong with you? What's with that look, those tears?' lines from the Crutch-man, he could probably make her achieve great enlightenment.
Seeing her on the verge of breaking, Xu Lun still gave up on such a brutal method of persuasion.
Trying to make his voice sound gentler, Xu Lun placed his hand on Saeko Busujima's shoulder and looked sincerely into her eyes, saying, "Although we haven't spent much time together, you can completely trust my eyes."
"In my eyes, you have always been a cool and beautiful person. You are usually gentle and considerate, understanding, and when facing zombies, you are intelligent, brave, and heroic. These are not traits you deliberately Camouflage."
"Please believe in yourself, and believe in me, Busujima. You deserve to live, and you have the right to pursue your own happiness. No matter what happens, no matter how distorted your personality becomes, you are not alone. I will always be by your side to support you."
Saeko Busujima stared into Xu Lun's sincere eyes, her heart trembling. In the light and shadow, she unconsciously tilted her face up and leaned closer to Xu Lun.
But Xu Lun put a hand on her forehead, pushing her back.
Xu Lun stood up and began to pack his things.
"It's almost sunset. We need to get back before dark. Marikawa Sensei is alone at home, and if we take too long, she might be in danger."