So, full context:
I survived a glitch-level Battle Frontier disaster, out-hacked a modded Charizard with Chadlax's snack-based strategy, and watched my shiny Umbreon talk an error entity out of existence with a single word.
What's the logical next step?
Apparently, becoming a Gym Leader.
Not by choice, mind you.
Like most things in my life since transmigrating into the Pokémon world, it all started because I pushed a button I shouldn't have.
The "Temporary" Town
After the Battle Frontier exploded reset itself, we needed to lay low. Amber's clipboard said the system was "still recovering from catastrophic narrative overload."
So we flew to a nearby, totally insignificant town called Petros Town. It's the kind of place with:
One PokéCenter
A suspiciously small PokéMart
And exactly zero gyms
Which should've been comforting. No danger. No drama.
Instead, the mayor greeted me with the words:
"You're the new Gym Leader, right? Thank Arceus. The old guy got turned into a Mareep by a bugged evolution stone."
I blinked.
Karen nodded solemnly. "Mareep is a better form."
Becoming a Gym Leader by Accident
So how did I become the Gym Leader?
Simple.
I tried to use my system menu to heal my Pokémon.
Instead, I accidentally clicked:
[Apply Gym Leader Role: TRUE]
The town hall immediately rebooted into a fully functional Gym Arena.
Like, walls shifted. A battlefield unfolded. Spotlights descended from nowhere. A DJ booth popped out of the floor and immediately started playing dramatic boss music.
There was even a button labeled:
"Design Badge."
So obviously I clicked that.
And because I have the emotional maturity of a Gible in a blender, I created:
The Based BadgeIt's just a pixelated image of Midnight Daddy doing the 😎 emoji face.
Amber looked at it and said, "This will break the League."
"I hope it breaks their spirit first."
My Gym Challenge Rules (Because Why Not)
I figured, if I'm going to do this, I'm doing it my way.
So I set up my Gym challenge with the following rules:
Rule 1: The entire Gym puzzle is just trying to wake up Chadlax. If you step on the wrong tile, he rolls over. Which… resets the entire thing.
Rule 2: Karen roams the halls randomly and gives out "psychological riddles." If you answer wrong, you get teleported outside. If you answer right, she gives you stickers. That don't help.
Rule 3: Final battle is 1v1… against Midnight Daddy. No switching. No items. No crying.
Amber begged me to implement a real Gym format. I refused. "This is art."
"THIS IS A LAWSUIT," she cried.
First Challenger: Brendan (Yes, that Brendan)
I didn't even know Brendan was in this region. Apparently, he'd heard rumors of a new Gym Leader "who gives out meme badges and battle trauma."
His words, not mine.
He burst into my gym, PokéBall ready. "Yo! I challenge you!"
"Did you wake up the Chadlax?"
"I got crushed three times before figuring it out."
"Fair."
The Battle Begins
He sent out Blaziken. Classic, noble, already Mega Evolving.
I sent out Midnight Daddy, who took one step forward and caused the lights to flicker.
Battle StartBrendan used "Mega Blaze Kick!"It was powered up by friendship and plot armor!
Midnight Daddy caught the foot with his tail.
And said:
"Too slow."
Amber, watching from the booth, choked on her clipboard again.
Karen whispered, "He spoke again…"
Chadlax, in the corner, just kept sleeping. Every so often, he mumbled about snacks.
Midnight Daddy used "Eclipse Howl."A move I didn't even know he had.
It didn't do damage.
Instead, it disabled Blaziken's Mega Form.
And Brendan's bag interface.
And also… his left shoe.
Brendan stared. "How—how is that even a move?!"
"It isn't," Amber whispered. "He's just… rewriting the game again."
Midnight Daddy's Passive Ability: "Narrative Authority"
Apparently, at some point, my Umbreon developed an ability called:
Narrative AuthorityThis Pokémon may ignore all in-game rules if it serves the story, the drama, or the meme.
Basically?
He has main character privileges. I have no idea when this happened.
He doesn't even need to battle anymore. He just… makes your team question their life choices.
Brendan's Blaziken withdrew itself.
And gave Midnight Daddy a high-five.
You win.Badge awarded: Based BadgeYour opponent is now following you on Pokégram.
League Investigators Show Up
An hour later, a group of League Officials arrived via helicopter. Literal suits. Clipboard energy rivaling Amber's.
"We received reports of a… meme badge?"
I nodded. "Yup. That's me."
"And a Gym Pokémon who can disable Mega Evolutions by speaking?"
"He only talks when he's emotionally invested."
They scowled.
"Sir, are you aware that Gym Leaders are not supposed to bypass system limitations?"
"Oh I don't bypass them," I said. "I just… encourage them to vibe differently."
Amber put a hand over her face. "Please stop saying words."
The Verdict
Surprisingly, they didn't arrest me.
Instead, one official took a good look at Midnight Daddy and said:
"Actually, this might be exactly what we need. The League's been too predictable lately. Too balanced. Too… lawful."
I blinked. "Wait, are you approving this?"
"We're not approving. We're... studying."
And then they left, muttering things like "containment protocol," "flavor text manifestation," and "reality anchor pending."
Which is totally reassuring.
Epilogue: My Gym Now Has a Gift Shop
Chadlax sells beanbag chairs and snacks.
Karen does tarot readings and tells visitors they "have weak vibes."
Amber installed an emergency eject button in case Midnight Daddy speaks again.
My badge is now trending on Pokégram under the tag: #BasedLeader
Do I understand what I'm doing?
Absolutely not.
But I'm having a great time ruining this world's stability one badge at a time.
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