The tip of the Azure Wave sword was a point of cerulean death, less than an inch from my sternum. The spiritual energy coiling around it was sharp enough to slice the very air, raising the hairs on my arms. Time seemed to slow, to thicken. I could see the furious, distorted reflection of my own blank face in the polished steel.
This was it. A clean, efficient death. At least my spleen wouldn't explo—
[Apopleptic Rage detected. Chaos conversion efficiency: 120%]
[Ephemeral Boon granted: Three Breaths of Shadowless Step]
A jolt, sharp and electric, shot down my spine. It felt like being struck by lightning, but instead of pain, a torrent of incomprehensible information flooded my mind. Instincts that were not mine seized control of my limbs. My legs, which had been frozen in terror, suddenly felt light as a feather.
What is happening?! My legs are moving! I'm not telling them to move! It's like they've developed a mind of their own! A very suicidal, very fancy mind!
To the hundred-plus disciples watching, the scene was sublime.
The talentless outer sect disciple, Li Yao, did not flinch. He did not retreat. As the full-powered strike of the sect's number one prodigy was about to pierce his heart, he took a single, leisurely step to the side.
It was not a dodge. It was a statement.
He moved no faster than a strolling scholar, yet the sword, which seemed to bend space itself, missed him completely. It was a physical impossibility. It was as if the sword itself, in the face of his profound calm, had chosen to swerve rather than commit an act of such crude violence against him. He came to a rest barely a foot away, his hands clasped behind his back, his deadpan expression unchanged.
Internally, I was screaming.
I'M ALIVE?! HOW AM I ALIVE?! I was just there, and now I'm here! Did I teleport? Was I dreaming? Oh gods, he's turning around, he's going to try again! The magic leg thingy only said three breaths, was that one breath?! Do I have two left?! HOW LONG IS A BREATH?!
The crowd, which had been holding its collective breath, let out a unified, ragged gasp.
"He… he dodged it?"
"He didn't dodge! He just… wasn't there anymore!"
Senior Sister Feng Qing's face was flushed with the ecstasy of vindication. "See! It truly was guidance!" she declared, her voice trembling with emotion. "Senior Brother Chen's attack was full of rage and power, but it was direct. It lacked subtlety. Senior Brother Li didn't even need a weapon to prove his point. He used his opponent's own momentum to expose the flaw! This is the highest level of martial philosophy!"
Her words were the hammer blow that forged the chains.
No, no, you're making it worse! He's going to be EXTRA mad now! Philosophy doesn't stop a sword!
A new sensation accompanied my panic. A cold, heavy weight settled around my soul. It was ethereal yet crushingly real, like being wrapped in invisible, freezing iron. The sparse spiritual energy I could normally feel in the air, the very lifeblood of a cultivator, seemed to turn away from me. It was like I had become repellent to the world itself.
[The Chains of Acclaim have manifested (Tier 1)]
[Inherent Cultivation Speed: -5%]
I wanted to cry. I had no cultivation speed to begin with! A five percent reduction of zero was still zero, but it was the principle of the thing!
Chen Wei stumbled to a halt, whirling around. His face was a mask of disbelief. He looked at his sword, then at me, then back at his sword. The logic of his world had just been shattered. He, a genius, had put his full strength into a strike, and his target, a notorious piece of trash, had sidestepped it like one might avoid a puddle.
The crowd's murmurs of "guidance" and "philosophy" reached his ears, and his disbelief curdled back into a rage so pure it was almost beautiful.
"Guidance…?" he whispered, his voice dangerously low. He began to laugh, a broken, unhinged sound. "GUIDANCE?! I'll show you guidance! I will guide your head from your shoulders!"
The blue light around him intensified, gathering into a vortex of power. This was no longer just a simple strike. He was preparing a martial arts technique, a true killing move from the Azure Water Sword Art.
"You think you're clever, don't you?! Let's see you philosophize your way out of the 'Azure Dragon's Bite'!"
He was powering up. A good sign for Chaos generation. A terrible sign for my continued existence. I had maybe two "breaths" of magic footwork left, and this attack looked like it could level a building.
Okay, System, anytime now. Another reward would be lovely. A shield? A temporary suit of plot armor? A giant anvil to drop on his head? I'm not picky!
Just then, I felt something press against my palm from within my sleeve. It was small, cylindrical, and strangely warm. My fingers, trembling slightly, closed around a small glass vial.
[Chaos Reward: Marrow-Cleansing Liquid (Low Grade) x1] has been delivered.]
My heart soared. This was it! This was the good stuff! Marrow-Cleansing Liquid could improve a person's constitution, wash away impurities, and raise their cultivation talent from abysmal to merely mediocre! This was my ticket out of the gutter! This was worth the near-death experience!
If I survived to actually use it.
Chen Wei raised his sword high, the azure light forming the spectral image of a dragon's maw behind him. "THIS IS THE END!" he bellowed.
The atmosphere crackled. The disciples in the crowd scrambled back, their faces pale with fear and excitement. This was a legendary clash in the making! The Enigmatic Master versus the Raging Prodigy!
I braced myself, ready for the System to grant me another life-saving miracle. My internal monologue was a high-pitched keen of prayer.
GIVE ME THE THING GIVE ME THE THING GIVE ME THE THING!
The blue screen dutifully flickered to life.
My relief lasted for approximately half a second.
This was not a reward notification.
[Emergency Mandate Issued]
Emergency? Yes! Very much an emergency! Give me the solution!
[The target's humiliation is incomplete. His pride must be ground into dust.]
[Action: Approach Chen Wei. Gently pat him on the head.]
I read it once. I read it twice. My brain refused to process it.
Pat. Him. On. The. Head?
[Spoken Line Requirement: "There, there. It's alright to be weak. Admitting it is the first step."]
My soul left my body. It floated up high above the training grounds, looked down at the unfolding catastrophe, and wept. This System wasn't just a sadist. It was a connoisseur of cruelty. It wasn't satisfied with merely getting me killed. It wanted me to die in the most humiliating, ludicrous, and memorable way possible.
Chen Wei was at the peak of his attack. The spectral dragon roared, ready to descend.
And my body, once again a hostage to the System's will, began to walk forward.
Directly into the jaws of death.