A circle of burnt grass marked the ground beneath the mana tree.
"Again," Yuuna muttered, flicking ash from her sleeve.
A faint fizz of residual mana clung to the air like disappointment. Sakura collapsed backward onto the grass with a soft pomf, her mouth full of biscuits from her food bag. Gigih's spellbook smoldered at the corners, and he was coughing faintly as if a firecracker had gone off in his face.
"No portal?" Gabyola asked delicately, dabbing a bit of soot off Yuuna's cheek.
"No portal," Yuuna sighed. "Only dramatic failure number three."
"Yay! Failure streak increasing!" Fahleena cheered, pumping her keyblade of destiny into the air. "Maybe at attempt ten we unlock a hidden achievement!"
Jessica stifled a giggle. "Don't encourage her."
Yuuna scribbled notes furiously in a small book titled Totally Not the Grimoire of Death (Volume 1), murmuring theories and arcane terms no one else bothered to understand.
Gigih flopped beside Sakura. "I didn't explode this time."
"You coughed fire," Jessica pointed out.
"Still improvement," Gigih wheezed.
Kyle watched them all from a boulder, dangling his legs. "You guys look like charred muffins."
"Do muffins char themselves?" Fahleena blinked.
"Only the cursed ones," Kyle deadpanned.
"Like Orchid's cooking?" Adiw offered helpfully from a distance, practicing his wood greatsword swings against imaginary goblins.
"Oh! Speaking of!" Orchid appeared behind Kyle, holding something brown, crumbling, and likely illegal in at least three kingdoms. "Kyle! I made chocolate-covered-egg-tuna-crisps!"
Kyle screamed and leapt off the boulder as if dodging a lightning bolt. "I already died once this week!"
"You only fainted," Sakura mumbled through a mouthful of biscuit.
---
With nothing exploding for the moment, the group lazily dispersed. Fuhiken tried organizing a patrol.
"Kyle, Sinryo, let's sweep the perimeter."
"Busy," Kyle grunted, lying on the ground and tracing clouds with his fingers.
Sinryo, already halfway into a tree nap, waved a banana. "Delegating my duties to gravity."
"Truly, we are warriors of discipline," Fuhiken muttered.
Yetsan was meticulously polishing his armor. Every five minutes, he swatted away dust particles that hadn't dared exist yet. His full helmet gleamed like judgment itself, and he muttered dark oaths against grime under his breath. He spotted a speck.
"Unacceptable."
He attacked it with a fresh cloth, sighing like a war veteran haunted by mud.
"Dust is chaos," he whispered solemnly, rubbing his gauntlet in perfect circles.
Meanwhile, Kyle got bored. Dangerously bored. The kind of bored that ended in property damage or snack theft. He lay on the grass, stared at the clouds, and started giving them names like "Fluffy Disaster" and "Cumulus of Eternal Ennui."
He tossed a pebble into the air. Caught it. Missed the next one. It hit him on the forehead.
"...Maybe I'll inspect the staff instead," he said, standing up with the energy of a child unsupervised.
He wandered back toward the staff of creation, which Yuuna had stuck upright in the ground like an oversized cursed garden gnome.
"Huh," Kyle said thoughtfully. "Maybe the circle was too small.", He leaned in, poking the staff with a stick.
"Don't poke artifacts," Sakura said without looking, halfway through a pudding cup.
"But what if the problem was the anchor point?" Kyle said. "If someone held the staff while standing in the middle, maybe the circle could extend further."
Yuuna paused mid-note. "...Actually, that's not entirely stupid."
"Gee, thanks."
She snapped her book shut. "Let's try it."
Kyle blinked. "Wait, no, wait, why are you all looking at me?!"
Gigih looked up with a slow, evil grin, the kind that promised chaos disguised as teamwork. Jessica cracked her knuckles with deliberate menace, her eyes gleaming with long-overdue vengeance. Gabyola, ever the picture of grace, simply folded her hands and smiled with the calm of a queen watching a public execution.
"Kyle, as the one who sparked this revelation," she said sweetly, "it's only proper you stand at the center of our historic success. Please accept this honor."
Kyle's eyes darted between them, face pale. "Wow. What a supportive, loving group of siblings I have. Truly. I feel so… betrayed. Deeply. Betrayed and endangered."
"Initiator takes responsibility," Yuuna replied.
Kyle backed away. "Let's not be hasty. There are trees! Use the trees!"
Fahleena placed a hand over her heart. "Kyle, your noble sacrifice will be remembered."
"I'm not sacrificing anything! Especially not for this comedy cult!"
"Think of it this way," Gabyola said. "You'll go down in history."
"Six feet under, maybe!"
He turned to run, feet already kicking up grass as panic took the wheel, arms flailing. Yuuna didn't even raise her voice. She whispered a single arcane word, calm as a librarian. In an instant, glowing blue chains erupted from her fingers, slicing through the air with a crackle of mana. They wrapped around Kyle's limbs mid-sprint, yanking him off the ground like a poorly behaved puppet. He hit the ground with a yelp and a thud, tangled in glowing restraints and indignation.
"BETRAYAL!" he shouted, thrashing like a caught fish.
Sakura calmly pulled a rope from her food bag. "Time for justice."
"FOR WHAT!?"
"You stole my pudding," Jessica said.
"That was years ago!"
"Exactly. We waited until now. Cold revenge is best revenge," Sakura said, tying a perfect bow knot around his waist.
They hoisted Kyle like a particularly noisy piece of luggage, one arm slung over Jessica's shoulder, the other gripped by Sakura with practiced efficiency. His legs dragged behind them, kicking uselessly as he twisted and squirmed, but the rope held firm. With the coordination of seasoned captors, the group marched him back toward the staff of creation, entirely unfazed by his muffled protests and theatrical thrashing.
"Sinryo! HELP!"
---
Somewhere Else...
Sinryo munched his banana. "Did you hear something?"
Fuhiken stared into the distance. "Only the wind. The wind of betrayal."
They clinked banana peels solemnly.
---
The Ritual is still continue. not with virgin maiden sacrifice, but with Kyle as sacrifice instead. Kyle, now the unwilling centerpiece, stood roped to the staff like a very confused totem pole.
"This is not how science works!" he argued.
"This is how elf science works," Yuuna said flatly.
Sakura gave him a rice ball. "Eat this in case you don't come back."
"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!"
Adiw gave a thumbs-up from afar. "Try not to explode!"
Jessica held a katana at the ready. "In case something goes wrong."
"Does anyone expect it to go right?!"
No one answered. A heavy silence settled, broken only by the hum of gathering energy. Yuuna, Sakura, Gigih, Jessica, and Gabyola stepped into position, their movements synchronized with quiet certainty. They formed a perfect pentagon around Kyle and the staff, as if rehearsed in some secret ritual. Each raised a hand, fingers outstretched, and mana flared to life, soft at first, then growing in intensity. Shimmering tendrils of light snaked through the air, dancing between them. The grass beneath their feet rustled unnaturally, bending to the magic's pulse. Above, the sky dimmed as though the sun itself was retreating. Clouds spun inward in tight spirals, swirling like a cauldron of storm soup, foretelling something ancient, unstable, and very likely regrettable.
Kyle trembled. "This is how I die. Tied to a stick, surrounded by mana maniacs."
Mana flowed. The staff began to glow. The circle beneath Kyle expanded, symbols flaring to life with gold and indigo light. He slowly lifted into the air, hovering like a confused scarecrow. Lightning cracked above.
"HEY, REMINDER! SACRIFICE SHOULDN'T BE ALIVE!"
The staff pulsed. The magic triangle widened. Energy beamed toward the shallow cave entrance. Space twisted. Light bent. A portal, golden-blue-black, ripped open with a WHOMP.
"IT'S WORKING!" Sakura cheered.
"IT'S WORKING?!" Kyle screamed.
The staff floated higher. Kyle floated higher. The wind howled. Thunder cracked. And then...
Thud.
The magic faded in a slow ripple, like breath exhaled from the world itself. The glowing runes vanished one by one, and the staff gently lowered, unfortunately, Kyle wasn't afforded the same courtesy. He plummeted with a grunt and thudded against the ground like a dropped carrot hurled by an angry chef. Dirt puffed up around him as he lay sprawled in a tangle of limbs and rope. The others erupted into cheers, triumphant and oblivious, basking in the success of the portal. Everyone cheered. Everyone except Kyle, who groaned into the grass, contemplating the many mistakes that led him here.
---
Fuhiken and Sinryo returned from their patrol. Kyle was still twitching on the ground, tied like a bundle of rejected turnips.
"Oh no," Sinryo said. "Who could've done this."
"I feel such sorrow," Fuhiken added, loosening the rope with performative slowness.
Kyle groaned. "I hope you both trip on banana peels."
"You're welcome," Sinryo said brightly.
Orchid skipped by. "Kyle! You survived! I made soup to celebrate!"
Kyle instinctively rolled away.
---
They stared into the portal. Swirling mist and dim light flickered beyond.
"Is it stable?" Gabyola asked.
Yuuna nodded. "Probably."
"Probably?" Kyle croaked.
"It'll be fine," Adiw said. "Let me carry the staff."
"No," Gabyola said. "You'll crush it."
"Hey!"
"Fuhiken holds it," Yuuna said. "He's dependable."
Fuhiken grunted, lifting the staff carefully. The portal shimmered, quiet and ominous.
Fahleena stepped forward, the wind catching her twin tails as if even the breeze acknowledged her moment. She raised her keyblade high, eyes gleaming with exaggerated destiny.
"Behold!" she declared, voice echoing with theatrical weight. "The gate to the unknown yawns before us, tremble, o mortals, for we cross the threshold where fate dances and sanity weeps! This step, though small for my mortal vessel, is a leap across the tapestry of legend itself!" She pointed dramatically into the swirling portal. "O dungeon of dreams and despair, thy chosen have arrived!"
Behind her, Jessica barely held back a snort.
Together, they stepped forward, into their handmade mystery dungeon, unaware of what was inside. Kyle took the last step, still rubbing his bruised everything.
"I better get paid for this," he muttered.
"You stole pudding," Sakura whispered.
"I REGRET NOTHING."
---