This is something that gave me a sense of peace after he happened, Rhys happened.
Eyes closed, I sat near the vintage bench facing the mini pond, and all I could hear was him. Occasionally sipping through the plastic, giving myself a blast of caffeine.
I hate to do this, but this is not a fictional story where the protagonist moves on, leaving no scars on her heart. This is me, Valeria, a girl torn between a guy and her self-esteem, yet she could feel him all over her brain and body. She couldn't help but feel it all over again.
Two Years ago,
Everything feels exciting. Raven's High was my dream, Valeria's dream. Excitement seeping through my veins, I moved through the halls, screaming luxury. Now I feel it's worth the hype, and I hope the quality of education won't smother it. Fingers crossed, camouflaging myself between the halls of Ravens High. I strolled towards the rooms. The velvet fabric on my skin felt eerily new.
It felt too awkward to find a spot, and when I did, it made sense why just a mere high school would become the reason for sleepless nights of aspirants.
I surely do not regret taking the big risk and applying for an education loan, although it's stressful, and all I can do is just hope for good grades that might keep me alive.
I could sense those weird glances at me, but this is overwhelming, and the fact that I have to cope with this for another is disturbing. Before I could muster up more courage, I felt someone tapping my shoulder from the side.
My shoulders tensed. I'm not in the mood to recall all my past hauntings from middle school. My adrenaline rushed by the fact of deja vu, just like how it started before, too.
" Earth, thrifty." A voice broke through my spiraling thoughts, pulling me back to reality. I turned to see a girl with the same velvet fabric as mine and a mischievous grin. She wore a mismatched headband that made me puke, but somehow that might've worked, or at least that's the kind of vibe she's giving.
She leaned forward as if invading my space. I forced a smile, clearly disliking this dolled-up face of hers and my least favourite musk vanilla scent.
She took a glance at me and then moved back before grabbing her purse and throwing something at me. It was too quick for me even to process, but my hands were quick to catch the card she threw at me.
her face turned more mischievous as she turned and spoke at that one lecturer who would think speaking fast makes them look cool," Iced Americano. No sugar. Triple shot", my lips twisted again clearly not understanding whats happening and then another blonde trailed her words through red matte ones, " vanilla latte, Skim milk. No foam. Extra cold".
Before I can register what exactly this fake face wants, her twisted tongue spoke again, " Wait, no—soy milk. I'm in a soy mood. Vanilla lattes taste better that way, richer. I swear, if it's that cheap machine stuff again, I'm throwing it out.
"You can remember all right? "she added with her sly smile, and that's when I confirmed that Raven's is no different from my middle school, and that's a thing I hate to admit.
And just when I took a step towards the cafeteria with one positive thought in mind —that at least she had given me her card —my heart twisted in agony. Why did it have to be me?
Once I spotted the lady in the cafeteria, my mind raced to put the strings together to remember what she wanted exactly, and my feet thumping against the floor and my eyes followed my shoes and that's when i knew how she knew i thrift, although we wear same navy blue blazers and the same skirt.
Realisation did punch me in the gut, and my eyes trailed to expensive shoes and sneakers all around me until I saw a pair walking towards me and stopped beside me.
"Chocolate milk, extra ice", i heard those Jordans- retro vibes speak to the lady. My eyes didn't strip off them, maybe my pathetic, mud-spotted shoes made me feel so.
" Mercer", followed another pair, until my eyes decided to shift from the floor to the lady, she came back and handed me the drinks. I felt the air around me thickening; never had I had a feeling about myself like this. I made a mental note that I should stop these things.
My feet moved past the people beside me, and just when I crossed these, Jordans, the other pair who screamed, Mercer, who sounded funny as if he stuffed food all over his mouth, got a hold of one of my drinks, and before I could realise, my hand was empty.
"Hey!!", I retorted, my face bewildered. I didn't wait nearly 10 minutes just to get it snatched from me, cherry on top, that's not mine.
" Vanilla latte ", he flashed me a big smile before eyeing the other guy.
" That's mine", i managed to say between my wobbled chin, my teared up eyes, I didnt work my ass off to get into Ravens high just for this.
My other hand clenched, I controlled these perplexed emotions that might make me feel weak.
That readhead expected me to leave my legs, did not move, that's when that good-for-nothing Jordans turned to face me. That's when I saw his actual face, and I understood I had observed his shoes more than him.
He was good-looking, with clear skin, no acne, and that's a goner for high school people. And he got those blue-hued eyes, and that's an add-on, his lips twisted in a way that reminded me of my drink in those hands of the redhead, still intact.
" It's mine. " I managed to say as my hands moved towards the drink, but his athletic instincts were so good that I missed.
"Not so easy. Get another one. ", he whispered, moving close to me with a playful smirk. " Now stop annoying me.", That playful smirk turned wicked and idiotic.
My eyes burned more now, and that's when I saw that blue hue again. he was enjoying inside with a stoic bored face. I could sense that.
Just when I was about to turn and leave, a force tugged on my back, helping me from bumping into a group of boys playing. My heart seized in panic and sighed a relief.
i took a quick turn and returned a thank you although i was pissed at these people and miraculously, as if god heard my prayers, that Mercer with those jordans, the shoes that i keenly obseved called out for me.
"Hey, Bones!"I stopped.
"Give it back," he said plainly, no show, no drama.
The redhead looked taken aback, but something in his eyes—cold, unreadable—made the other guy falter.
"Ugh. Fine."
I took it with steady hands, even though my insides were shaking like leaves. My fingers wrapped around the cold plastic, and it almost grounded me.
Mercer didn't smile. He didn't say anything at all. He just looked at me, not pitying, not mocking — just looking.
I opened my mouth to say thanks, but the words wouldn't come out. They'd tangled up with the lump in my throat.
Then he turned, as casually as he'd stepped in, and vanished into the hum of voices, laughter, and footsteps.
For the first time since I'd arrived at Raven's, I felt like I had not been erased.
Not yet. And it struck me that the keychain I thrifted with "Bones" imprinted on it to make me look distinct after all earned me a name and a drink.
The drinks were colder than before, but my palms still sweated around the plastic as I walked back toward the stone bench. Every step I took felt like a silent scream.
There they were. Legs crossed, blazers flung over their shoulders like props. One of them scrolled through her phone, the blonde leaned back, dolling her face up.
"Took you long enough," she said, not even bothering to mask the sneer beneath her glossed-up lips. "Did you take a detour?"
Her friend with the lavender clips snorted behind her phone.
I didn't answer. I just stepped closer and carefully held out the drinks, repeating them in a low voice so I wouldn't mess them up.
"Iced Americano, triple shot. No sugar..." I passed the first cup. She took it without looking at me, her eyes scanning the campus like she owned it.
"Vanilla latte. Soy milk, extra cold, no foam."
She raised a brow, as if daring me to have messed it up. She plucked the cup from my hand with the grace of a queen receiving a tribute, then inspected it like it might bite her.
"Hmm." She swirled it once. "Did you double-check if it's soy?"
I nodded.
Her tongue clicked against her teeth. "We'll see."
Lavender Clips took her cold brew and actually said, "Cool," like I was a vending machine that had finally worked.
I still hadn't taken a breath.
"Where's yours?" she asked, tone sharp and falsely sweet. "Or don't thrift stores sell dignity with discounts?"
Laughter. The kind that didn't even try to hide its cruelty.
And that's what I hated, if dignity came with price tags, they still wouldn't afford it. Not the kind I've earned.
Every step away from them, my shoes felt heavier, but my chest lighter. A strange strength began to simmer just under my ribs — quiet, but defiant.
"At least thrift stores teach you value. Yours skipped that shelf.", I made sure she heard, I must've done this thing this morning, I made it stick and sink in myself that I came to Raven High not for this, not after my middle school.
I heard her speak something, but I turned to walk away, and as if my fate turned and started playing twisted with me, I found the same pair of Jordans, my eyes met the blue hues, and my rage bubbled again. Seriously, they all belong to the same sick group.
I moved past them, past those people with something in my mind.
Let them laugh. Let them mock my shoes, my blazer, my past.
I was here at Raven's High because I earned it. They were born into it. That was the difference.
And someday, they'd choke on that difference.
And again, that's how Rhys Mercer barged into my life without my consent.