"You little-!" I shouted, feeling a goblin latch onto my leg, its razor-sharp claws biting into it, slicing through my blue jeans like they weren't even there. I grabbed it by its head with my free hand, yanking it off me at the sacrifice of 3hp, before I slammed it against the Dungeon walls. My muscles proved they weren't just for show, the goblins head cracked open like an egg, then its body became ash.
With my other hand, I slashed at a goblin that tried to seize the chance to go to my head. The two halves lasted long enough that they stopped another goblin from taking out my hamstrings, letting me skewer the little bastard. It didn't die instantly. Twisting my blade, the monster howled in pain, then I swung with all my strength. The flat of the blade stopped me from cutting it in half, then at the apex of the swing, the goblin flew off.
It slammed into another two goblins hard enough that it reduced one of them to ash, the sounds of bones breaking and pained cries filled the not so empty halls of the Dungeon. Rushing forward, I brought a foot down on the remaining goblin that survived the throw, crushing its head underneath my sneaker. Hot blood flooded my shoe a moment before it was coated in a layer of ash.
Goblins, despite their size, were a lot like rabid dogs. It's easy to think all it would take is a good kick to drive them away, that since you were so much bigger and stronger, it would be easy to deal with them, but I learned that couldn't be further from the truth. Especially when there was more than one dog attacking you, taking bites out of your leg and chipping away at your health.
"I hate you. I hate you all so much," I hissed, spotting another goblin. Grabbing my longsword with both hands, the handle not being big enough so I ended up ripping the pommel in my hand, and swung the sword like a bat. It cut the goblin in half, adding yet another magic stone in my growing collection.
My legs hurt. Looking down at them, I saw over a dozen cuts where they managed to get me, each one burning with pain. Again, the movies lied to me. Getting deep cuts like the ones that covered my legs hurt like a mother -- there was no way action heroes pretty much get a leg chopped off then keep walking on it with only a small limp to remind the audience that they were hurt. It hurt so much I wanted to curl up into a ball and die.
"Fuuuuuuuuuuck…" I groaned, sucking in a deep breath. The adrenaline helped drive me forward, along with the fact that if I stopped more would swarm me and I really would die. "Map," I bit out, swallowing a slew of curses. The screen appeared, telling me that I was still on the right path to get out of this hellhole. It wouldn't be long now. A few more turns and I would be free.
Another goblin crawled out of the walls, the Dungeon intent to cut me off, but a quick punch to the back of its head killed it. I spared a glance at the empty hole, half expecting a portal to the depths of hell, but there was only a small crevice just large enough to fit a goblin.
"Come on," I told myself, forcing my legs to move a little faster. Almost there. I rounded a corner, another goblin grasping at me, only to be met by a backhand that knocked it away. In the distance, I saw the exit. Along with another three goblins milling about, likely waiting for an adventure to kill. With my new weight and me abandoning any thought of stealth, all three of them whipped around to look at me.
Gritting my teeth, I gripped my sword even tighter, rushing towards them. I could hear another goblin struggling to keep up with me, quickly left behind thanks to my long strides. Before long, I was on top of the goblin, swinging my sword with reckless abandon. The goblins attacked just as recklessly, my sword beheading one of them while the others went for my legs.
One latched on, biting into my thick with deceptively long fangs. Snarling in pain, I slammed the pommel of my sword against the top of its head, caving it in. The last goblin circled around, going for my achilles tendon. Only my very recent experience with the tactic warned me that it was going to happen, letting me turn around in time that it carved a bloody line into my calf instead.
Anger surged in my chest, fueled by pain. Grabbing the goblin by the head, I picked it up before throwing it down. Not killing it, but hurting it. It screamed in pain, my snarl of primal anger twisting into a satisfied smile as I stomped on its head. The satisfaction of hurting something that hurt you, the satisfaction called vengeance. All that crap about vengeance being hollow was just that -- total crap. At the moment, watching the goblin turn to dust, vengeance was fulfilling as all hell.
Glancing over my shoulder, I saw the last goblin running towards me, undeterred by the violence. I gripped my sword, ready to run at it just so I could throttle the little monster, only to realize what that would mean. Going back into the Dungeon when I was already at the exit.
"You get to live this time," I told it, hoping that the next adventurer that came down murdered the ever-loving fuck out of that goblin as I walked up the stairs. I walked up the steps, then stopped at the third step, turning around to look at the entrance to the Dungeon. The goblin came to a stop at the first step, looking at it, then at me, then at the step again. It hissed at me, stomping its feet, angry that I wouldn't let it take a bite out of me. It looked like the entrance to the Dungeon was a hard barrier that monsters couldn't knowingly walk through. Good to know.
You know what? Screw that goblin. With that thought driving me forward, I took two quick steps and kicked the monster in the face hard enough that it flew away. God, that was satisfying. I hate monsters.
"Right," I said, taking in a deep breath. "Let's see the gains." Summoning my inventory as I walked, I saw that I had over thirty magic stones, two goblin fangs, and three goblin claws. Neat. Hopefully, that would be worth a whole lot to make all this crap worth it.
"Status," I said, reaching into my inventory screen, grabbing hold of the magic stones to start shoving them into the empty coin purse attached to my hip.
Jericho
Level: 1
Progress to level 2: 42/1,000,000
Strength: 0 (+1)
Endurance: 0 (+11)
Dexterity: 0 (+9)
Intelligence: 0 (+1)
Sense: 0 (+5)
Skills:
Gamer Body: The user's body is that of a video game.
Massage: Skilled hands make targets tension and exhaustion melt away. Effectiveness is determined by Dexterity and Strength stat.
Huh. I thought with how my legs were cut into ribbons, I would have picked up some kind of physical resistance skill. I was hoping for it actually. Well, at least I made some gains with Endurance and Dexterity. Intelligence and Strength were lagging behind already. Strength, I guess, is because I started off so strong so I wasn't pushing myself to my limit with it. Intelligence was probably because I wasn't really using my head much down there.
"I need some armor for my legs," I mused, walking up the stairs, stepping past another adventurer, who kinda just stopped and stared at me. Which was fair. My health was at 55 of 100, so I was technically nearly half-dead at the moment. On the first floor. Yeah, that couldn't fly.
"I need to do some grinding too," Hestia said that I could do physical exercise to gain stat points. With Gamer's Body, if I went full masochist, I could be much more effective in gaining them. Doing push-ups while wearing weights while I read textbooks as Hestia beat me with a broom. Stuff like that.
At the same time...date night. To be blunt, most of the will-be-money hanging off my waist was going to treat Hestia to a special night. Was that smart? No. No, it was not. Should I be spending this money on leg armor, potions or other useful things that make sure I wouldn't die on the first floor of the Dungeon? Yes. Yes, I should.
Was I? No. No, I am not.
Reaching the top of the stairs, I saw that the Guildhall was in full swing. I was too new to know when the busy and slow times were yet, but it seemed that adventurers liked to sleep in, and by mid-day, they started dungeon diving. A few glanced in my direction as I made my way over to the tellers, unstringing my hard-earned winnings from my belt. Coming to a stop in front of a glass window, a metal slot for me to dump the magic stones and drop items in with a Guild employee standing on the other side.
It took a minute for the teller to catalog everything, but he dropped a handful of coins into his end before pushing it through. "Your total is 1500 valis."
As much and then some as what I started yesterday. If flowers were 25 valis and a jabamarukun was 10, then an expensive meal should be somewhere in the hundreds. Which made sense given Bell's reaction when he went to the Hostess of Fertility. Using that thread of logic, a meal costing 400 valis, in addition to the others that cost around 200 each...wow...Syr was really cutthroat.
"Jericho!" I heard a familiar voice call out. Turning left, I saw a crowd of people. After a few seconds of thinking that I had imagined it, I saw Hestia pushing her way through the crowd. Walking over to meet her halfway, the adventurers that she was trying to squeeze past suddenly gave way when I approached, trying very hard not to look at me.
It was kinda hilarious. If only they knew I was technically one foot in the grave already.
"Hestia? What are you doing-" I started, only to be cut off when Hestia zeroed in on my legs, a gasp ripping from her throat. A pained hiss escaped me when she started to poke at the wounds, fretting over them, but unsure what to do about it. Looking down at the wounds now, the blood had spread, peppering my pants with dark wet spots.
Huh. That was a lot of blood but I felt...fine? No lightheadedness or anything. The wounds hurt, so they weren't just for show, but if I had lost that much blood then surely I would feel some side effects by now. Was this Gamer Body's effect?
"It's fine Hestia, it looks worse than it actually is," I said, getting a disbelieving look from her. Right. Lie detector. I need to get a lot better at telling half-truths. "It hurts, but it's not going to kill me or anything. I'm going to be fine once I get a few bandages on." I hope.
"How…?" Hestia said, looking at the crimson blood on her fingertip. I felt some heat rush to my face, acutely aware of how everyone around us was at least listen with one ear. It was impossible not to. I was easily a foot and a half taller than anyone else here and Hestia was a goddess. It was impossible not to notice her.
"I, uh," I started, trying to say this that didn't make me sound like a trash tier noob. There wasn't one. Goodbye pride. I enjoyed you while I had you. "Well, I reached the entrance for the second floor- I didn't go down it," I quickly added, seeing Hestia's Look. "but when I tried to turn back, I got swamped with goblins. I think I killed about thirty on my way back alone."
Hestia's eyes went so wide that if they weren't filled with a bone-chilling fear it would have been hilarious. "Thirty of them?" She echoed, her voice faint.
"Not all at once," I clarified, keeping my voice low. I'm not sure why I bothered. I heard someone snickering behind my back, so it wasn't like I could stop the secret that I wasn't a badass mega warrior...well a secret. "Usually on about five or six at a time." Yeah, judging from that look, I didn't exactly assure her fears.
"The Dungeon isn't supposed to send that many," Hestia muttered more to herself than to me. I went to place a hand on her shoulder but paused when I noticed that there was still some blood on my hands. Instead, I dropped to a knee...I was still a head taller than her. I'm starting to think making myself over seven feet tall might have been a little much.
"I'm fine, Hestia. I promise. Most of it was because of how tall I am -- I think I bought the wrong armor since everything on the first floor can only go for my ankles." I said with a lopsided grin, hoping to get one in return, but her lips were pressed into a thin line, a grimace on her face that looked out of place. "Once I get used to the height difference then it'll be no problem at all."
"Jericho, you could have died," Hestia cut to the matter bluntly, her hands bunching up into fists. Her voice was oddly calm, a harsh contrast to the naked worry and fear in her gaze.
I wish we weren't doing this in front of so many people. Pushing that thought to the side, I gave her a slow nod, trying to think of something to put her at ease. "I could have," I agreed after a second, an answer coming to mind. I doubt it would solve the problem, but it would certainly help.
A sigh escaped me, feeling far more mentally exhausted than physically all of a sudden. "Hestia, if I'm going to do this, then I'm going to get hurt. That's just part of the job." I pressed forward when her lips parted to tell me that I didn't have to do this. "So let me add something to the promise I made."
"I promise that, no matter what, I will not leave you alone," I swore, drawing...inspiration...from the promise between her and Bell. Hestia sucked in a breath, telling me that my words struck home. Her bottom lip started to quiver, warning me of incoming waterworks, so I hammered the point home. "Just...believe in me a little, okay?"
Hestia tried to say something but it was incomprehensible as the waterworks came. She threw her arms around my neck, sobbing for all to hear. I heard some snickers and awws at the scene we made over Hestia sobbing in my ear. Yeah, it was time to split.
"It's okay, it's all okay…" I soothed, wishing I could at her back but my hands were covered in blood. "Do you want to go home?" Great, now it sounded like I was talking to a small chil-
"Mm-hmm," Hestia managed to get out, clinging to my neck with a surprisingly strong grip.
"Are...you going to let go?"
"Nu-uh."
Right. I don't know what else I could have expected. Unless I wanted to stay here, in a busy lobby, under the scrutiny of dozens of hardened adventurers and Guild employees, until Hestia calmed down then I would have to do something about this. With a lack of better options, I started to stand, feeling Hestia's arms wrap around me even tighter, before I swept one of my arms under her legs to pick her up.
Hestia just sniffled in response, squeezing me for dear life. Bringing myself to my full height, over everyone's heads, I saw Misha talking to a brown-haired elf -- Eina, Bell's canon advisor. Misha caught my glance, giving me a cheeky smile and a wave as I walked through the crowd. Feeling more than a little embarrassed, I gave a small wave back. Misha said something to Eina that made both girls laugh. Probably at my expense.
Making a quick exit out of the Guild with significantly less dignity than I came in with, I hastily walked down the steps and into the main plaza. Where there were even more people. Of course, there were. Oh well, nothing I could do about it now.
"So," I said in a low voice, carrying Hestia through the busy streets. She sniffled, trying to get a hold of her emotions. "I think I had a pretty decent day in the Dungeon all things considered. I made about 1,500 valis to celebrate with-"
"No," Hestia interrupted, sniffing as she adjusted her grip so her face wasn't muffled by my shoulder.
My heart went still. "No?" I echoed, afraid of what she was saying no to.
"W-we need to save up until you can buy some armor for y-your legs," Hestia said, her voice oddly firm despite how thick it was with emotion. "And pants since yours are all ruined. And potions and bandages and a whole lot of other stuff!" Hestia decided before burying her head into the crook between my shoulder and neck.
Ah, dammit. There goes that plan. But...at the same time...yeah, it was a lot smarter. I really shouldn't think with my dick when my life was on the line. It was just...kinda hard. Not my dick. Maybe it was because my untimely death was so fresh, but it felt as if I had to make the most of this new lease on life. And so far, it was going great. Almost perfect really.
"Yeah, you're right," I admitted however begrudgingly. "How about this -- after we go patch my legs up, I'll check in with Misha to see if she can give me a lead on where I can get some decent armor for cheap." I offered, mulling over the issue myself. Maybe I should look into finding Welf Corozo. Actually...yeah, that was a really good idea. I'm certain he would be willing to make some decent armor for cheap.
"Misha? Is she your guild advisor?" Hestia asked, her tone still thick with emotion but her sobs had subsided. That was good. We got fewer odd looks as I steadily took us home.
"I think so? She didn't really say anything about it, but she's the one that - ah, shoot," I muttered, "I forgot to pick up the forms that you had to sign." I realized with a frown. Well, Misha looked like she understood my situation when I head out, so I wasn't worried. "I'll pick those up while I'm at it. Does that sound good?"
Hestia sniffled before she answered, "it does...and I'm sorry for crying. It's just…"
The anime really undersold how hard it was for Hestia before canon, I thought, stepping off Main Street. It did really explain why Hestia grew so attached to Bell, and to me, in such a short amount of time. That had to be why she broke down crying so often, completely overwhelmed with what I hoped was happiness.
"You don't have to apologize for a thing," I dismissed, walking down the road that would take us home. "I get it. It must have been pretty hard for you, huh?" Hestia responded by sniffling loudly, another sob trying to escape her. "You're not alone anymore, Hestia. And you won't be again if I have anything to say about it."
I half expected Hesta to start crying at the cheesiest of cheesy lines, instead, she squeezed down on my neck hard enough that I started to choke. "Jericho?"
"Hm?"
"Thank you."
…
Ducking low to enter the basement, I walked towards the bed as softly as I could. Leaning over it, I gently deposited the slumbering goddess onto the bed, earning a soft mumble of protest before Hestia curled up into a ball. I grabbed the blanket I used last night and placed it over her.
I don't know if it was her emotional outburst, but something had tuckered her out.
"Guess that works out for me though," I muttered softly, walking back to the couch as I gingerly pried off my pants to expose bloodied legs. I wasn't scared to wake her up. Hestia was out like a light. Summoning upon my inventory, I grabbed the bandages I looted from the supporter.
"Do I have an Observe skill?" I asked myself, trying to ignore how much worse the pain felt now that I was actually looking at the wounds. Some of them were kinda deep. Most of them would need stitches…
I stared at the white bandages for a long second, analyzing how bandagey they were, only for nothing to happen. Nothing from my status, so either I didn't have Observe, or I couldn't get it yet. Maybe it was tied into my Sense stat somehow.
With an internal shrug, I started wrapping the bandages over my leg- "Oh," I uttered, feeling the pain instantly lessen from a wound on my upper thigh. I checked to see that the wound was still there but it was a little smaller, if only by a fraction. My mind drifted to my unseen health bar, curious.
56/100 I kept the bandage there, waiting a moment, constantly aware of my health bar, then smiling when it ticked up to 57. Then 58. Then 59. Each time the wound hurt less and less and by the fourth tick, when I looked underneath a bloodied bandage, I saw that it was gone.
"So, bandages restore 1 hp a minute," I muttered, moving on to the other wounds that covered my legs. That was...honestly kinda terrible. For starters, I had no natural regeneration. I couldn't exactly stop to bandage up in the middle of a fight. I didn't have a Bleed status effect or anything, but I couldn't imagine there wouldn't be a drain on my hp with a bad enough wound.
I grabbed a rag, dipping it into a tub of water to wipe down my legs as the last few cuts healed. If my health got low enough, it would take over an hour for me to fully heal. Which was great in terms of reality, but really bad in terms of gamer mentality.
"I guess I'll have to stick with potions," I mused once my lower body was clean. Though, it would be a question of how effective they were, or if they instantly restored health. I recall that they did in the anime and light novels, so I was hopeful. Still, the only way to know for sure would be to test it.
With no other clothes, I had to put on my bloodied jeans, careful not to stick a foot into one of the many cuts in them. Teenager me would have liked how they looked. Teenager me was also an idiot.
I started to walk back out, intent on taking care of my errands as soon as possible, only to pause when I reached the door. Glancing over at Hestia's slumbering form, I walked over, a hand outstretched…that I gently placed on her shoulder to bring up her blanket.
There was no need to rush anything. Hestia trusted me. Doing something stupid like molesting her in her sleep was a bad move all around.
"Goodnight."