NOTICE:
Sorry for the delay my lovely readers, I've been working on the designs for the characters for my novel and was trying to develop a new plot since the plot I had in mind seemed like it was going nowhere and I'm very eager to show you all but I decided that I'll continue working on this novel and when it's completed I'll post the designs on my Instagram and hopefully by that time I learn how to animate and draw digitally so I could ACTUALLY design the book cover because I love drawing and seeing this ai book cover makes my skin crawl.
That's all I had to say, thank you staying here with me :3 despite the delay oki byeee and enjoy!
°°°
It's a fascinating discovery of how time has plotted plenty of shenanigans against our minds, then has the audacity to blatantly call us gullible.
One minute, the clock chimes and strikes a goal of numerals that sends all people around the world mad and scolding the clock, reminding them of what they have yet to achieve.
Then the next minute it just won't budge, and before you know it, you're left wondering where all the time went. And today was no exception for Kurai.
August gained all its attention from the Tsukikage family, jumping from the Edogawa fireworks, the food stalls, and Comiket (Kurai was livid because she didn't have enough yen to purchase any manga).
Edogwa Fireworks Festival was full of crowds of excited people wearing yukata (light summer kimono) in pastel and some in bold colors packed along the riverbanks, families, teens, and couples taking in the exquisite view. Kids waved their sparklers, couples held hands, friends snapped photos, and people craned their necks to watch the sky.
Don't even get me started on the food stalls, they were full of skewers and grilled chicken, smoky and salty, eaten straight off sticks, savory pancakes stacked with cabbage, meat, seafood, and special sauce, shaved ice with strawberry syrup, and the tastiest of them all, cotton candy, candied apples, and small packages of treats. It had way more food at the food stalls but those were the foods greedy little Kurai and Teruna were ooing with their eyes.
Ah, the hot and humid weather was ideal for the Tsukikage family to do outings, not to mention that the Tsukikage family weren't just assiduous with work or life obligations, but exhausted from the consistent pressure of keeping their reputation up and avoiding society's judgemental glares.
And the thought that society were going to bash people for simply for not fitting into their criteria perturbed Kurai.
But that was something about life no one was going to run from and she knew this was going to happen. Before exams even started, she was sluggish and pessimistic. Her only hope was seeking solace in death's touch because in her eyes she could never be enough. Not for the world, not for her parents and not even for herself.
Throughout August, Kurai was moping just from being near her family. Their felicity felt too good to be true.
Despite all this, Kurai treasured August and endured all the affliction going on in her mind and feigned a smile because her mother scolded her for always looking grumpy and unapproachable and her father would agree even though they both knew nothing this little girl was capable of doing.
When September had arrived, Kurai had the impression that she had disappointed her parents when her results for her exams came out even though they reassured her that they weren't and she would retake Math next year.
But Kurai dismissed her mother's serene words.
"Was she not the one who kept warning me that if I didn't get Maths, she wouldn't pay for me to redo it?"
That trepidation of Kurai wasn't even the worst part.
For you see, Kurai's family knew people far to nosy for her liking. People who were meddling in her business to "praise" her. So what was she supposed to tell them?
"I'm not in university but I will be next year!"
That would be a total disgrace and totally embarrassing for Kurai.
After all, Teruna had been friends with a girl they had met at their Wesleyan church named Iko and it turned out that Mr. Tsukikage was a good friend of Iko's father so there was nowhere for Kurai to hide.
Together, Teruna and Iko would irritate every blood vessel in Kurai's body but Kurai never told them this (unless she was stupid). Ever since results for exams came out, Iko had been constantly questioning her about what she was doing now since she finished Highschool. When I mean constantly I mean constantly.
If it wasn't on WhosApp it was in person and for someone who was rather self conscious and restless, Kurai had no intentions of discussing her results with some little girl whose prying parents use to keep pestering her.
And after being bothered every single flipping minute when Iko had approach her the last time at church it went something like...
"Oh, Iko is walking up to me," Kurai thought.
"Hi Iko!"
"Kurai, where are you doing university?"
Kurai had it. She was tired of always plastering a smile around people she was sick and tired of. People who weren't there for her hard times and suddenly her family were interested in knowing every single thing about her? Rubbish.
Kurai stared Iko into her soul and turned her head to face her mother who was busy talking to one of her friends while Iko awkwardly stood there confused.
But Kurai didn't care. The day Iko and her older brother, Shingo greeted her the day after exams came out. She was a bit confused. Shingo never dared to bat an eye at Kurai and the fact he and his little sister came up to her, she felt a bit flustered.
"Congrats Kurai," Shingo said.
"Congrats to you too Shingo," Kurai replied in a smug voice, fidgeting with her hand.
Her delusional mind flooded with thoughts about how he probably regretted not talking to her from the start.
He then proceeded with what he was preciously doing which was doom scrolling.
But her pride was immediately stripped when Iko opened her mouth and said...
"How many subjects did you pass?"
Kurai's smile disappeared. Her expression went cold and she faced away from Iko and to make matters worse, Kurai's mother didn't want to make a scene so she told Iko but that only pissed Kurai off more but what could Kurai do?
She was in the Lord's house downstairs having just been served lunch. She couldn't speak the words she had thought of.
"I'm sure is there doing self. Why else would they be that invested in my life?"
But today was the day that Kurai dreaded, not because she would be home alone with no one to talk to but it felt so out of place being the only one in the family being at home, even her online friends were unable to comfort her since they were still in Highschool so her only resort was just studying.
"I'm stuck alone studying this stupid subject," Kurai grunted, "Up until now no one could tell me who invented maths!"
Kurai didn't want to study math but her future depended on it so she sat on her bed determined, scurrying around her room in search for textbooks, workbooks and even her laptop for assistance from TuneTube.
Studying would have been a piece of cake if Kurai hadn't been whining about how challenging Maths was to study for twenty minutes and rolling about on her bed.
At last, she pulled herself up and got a math textbook from her bookshelf, took out workbooks, and watched videos on TuneTube, but it started to feel devastating when her brain wouldn't even work.
The numbers were jumbled, the letters seemed out of place, and I could go on and on.
Kurai wasted hours by procrastinating, and when I mean she wasted hours, I mean literally. This girl literally woke up at seven in the morning, didn't shower, didn't eat breakfast, or anything, just whining about how complicated Maths was.
She dragged herself away from her desk, abandoning the blank workbook, complaining yet again how irritating Maths was.
The sound of feet running up the stairs pulled her out of her idle cycle.
Kurai rushed out of her bedroom since she was eager to question Teruna about how her first day at school was but...something about Teruna...felt off.
Her usual bubbly grin was replaced with a wavering smile, her usual shine in her amethyst eyes were dull and she was awfully...quiet.
"Teruna, what's wrong?"
Silence.
"Teruna answer me."
Silence.
At this point Kurai was beginning to get worried and grabbed Teruna by her arm.
"If you don't tell me what's wrong with you right now, I'll...I'll!"
"You'll what? Tell okaasan and otousan? That's very helpful," Teruna asked with an eerie tone.
"What's gotten into you? Speak to me, you know I'm your big sister, you have to tell me what's wrong."
"...Some girls said my top knot bun looks boyish and I give off pick me vibes."
"What's wrong with your hair?" Kurai asked, feeling baffled, looking her little sister's hair up and down.
"Ugh! This is why I hate my hair!" Teruna cried, zooming past Kurai and slamming the door to her room.
"So, the world never changes," Kurai said out loud to herself, "Pouring insecurities on her just like they all did with me..."
Mr. and Mrs. Tsukikage trudged up the stairs with heavy grocery bags.
"Kurai! Quit standing there and give me and your mother a hand!"
Kurai played it cool and assisted her parents with an innocent smile, but she had something devious in mind. Something far too devious that even the most atrocious person in the world wouldn't think in a hundred years to try such a stunt.
Dinner with the Tsukikage family was different for once. Kurai kept on aggressively stabbing her fork into her food and muttering the words.
"No one hurts Teru, no one hurts Teru."
Teru shifted uneasily in her seat and kept her head down, attempting to eschew any eye contact with the weirdo known as her elder sister while Mr and Mrs. Tsukikage were far too busy discussing how frustrating the workplace was.
"Ugh, customers are so rude, this woman went to the extent of putting a strand of her hair in her soba just to have a reason to scold me in front of all my other customers."
"You think that's bad?"
They bickered left to right trying to convince one another whose job was the most frustrating, yet if they had actually asked Teruna about her day at school or even asked Kurai what her issue was, then maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't have happened.
But it was far too late.
Kurai had already made up her mind, and there was no turning back.
The following day, Kurai walked with Teruna to Kinsorei High with a large grin on her face.
"Kuu, I've never seen you smile like this before..."
Kurai glanced down at her sister.
"Just excited to walk my sister to school that's all!"
"But you said you hate being in public..."
Kurai scoffed.
"Quiet."
For the entire walk, there was absolute silence and when they arrived Kurai noticed a group of girls watching Kurai and Teruna with pity.
"Oh dear, the boy has brought another freakshow!"
"This is appalling!"
Kurai's fist clenched.
"Don't you girls know you should respect your elders?"
The group of girls snorted at Kurai and pulled Teruna away from her.
"You dare have that girl talk to us that way?"
"Some nerve you have Teruna!"
The tallest of the group of girls raised her hand at Teruna to knock the sense out of her but before the whole of Kinsorei High knew it, Kurai wiped the blood off her lip and the girl fainted from the hard punch in her nose.
As the flashing lights of the passing by students cheered on and horrified gasps from teachers, Kurai stumbled against her own feet, taking quick breaths, heart going like crazy.
She was then pushed aside by a member of the staff.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Big girl like you picking fights with little girls?! Your parents must have raised you wrong."
"Don't you ever say that about my parents! You of all people should know that a child can despise themselves from the littlest of things!"
"Oh wow so inspiring when you just punched a chi–"
SMACK
The sting in her hands wasn't what hurt her.
It was the way she looked back at her, terrified, tears dripping down her rosy cheeks.
She was a demon to the one she desired to protect.
The one who fueled her hatred towards her childhood self. How they teased her, left her in scrambles, and now her very sister she sought to protect looked like she couldn't even recognize Kurai.
The voices in her head weren't whispers anymore. They were shouting Kurai's name, cheering her on for harming a highschooler.
"HA! She's not laughing anymore!"
"Punch her in her nose again!"
"Ugh that brat's blood is all over our fist!"
Kurai clawed at her ears, her nails digging into her skin.
"This can't be happening!"
But the parasite within her mind said, "Oh, but it is happening, and instead of reminiscing your masterpiece, let's run. We'll end up in jail at this rate."
Kurai's stomach churned. Her body screamed to sprint, but her legs refused to move even an inch.
She squeezed her eyes shut but the voice slithered through the dark anyway.
"Hurt them, make them bleed. Only then would your true self be born."
Kurai gasped, stumbling backward, desperate to escape. But the crowd of lights flashing seemed endless, their grins and snorts taking in the madness as if they were waiting for the monster to be born.
Her mother's opinion of her struck her through the haze:
"Chikushou! You tried your best, so I won't be hard on you, but just know I'm not spending another yen on you if you keep this up."
And just like that, something in her clicked. Home wasn't safe. Talking to Teruna wasn't safe. Nothing was safe. The parasite wasn't planning on leaving her because it lived within her.
Her hands shook violently as she whispered, "They were right, I really am evil."
She didn't want to.
She didn't know why she still did but...she ran.