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Chapter 5 - Now I’ve Got Two Women Giving Me Death Stares

– When you start your morning with a half-conscious assassin in your bed and your personal maid standing in the doorway holding a tray of spiritual soup, you know things have escalated.

– "Young Master…" Qing'er's voice was dangerously calm.

– "Before you say anything," I said, adjusting the blanket over Lan Ruo's still-unconscious figure, "it's not what it looks like."

– "You're shirtless. She's shirtless. Her dagger is in your pillow. And she's drooling on your chest."

– "Okay. It's exactly what it looks like. But I didn't do anything… yet."

– "Yet?!"

– "That was sarcasm!" I yelped. "System, note: sarcasm can kill."

– ---

– [SYSTEM WARNING]

– > Emotional Tension Detected.

– Potential for Violence: HIGH

– Suggestion: Apologize creatively or run very fast.

– ---

– Qing'er stormed out, tray slamming against the door frame.

– Lan Ruo, to her credit, slowly blinked awake. Her lashes fluttered as her mind caught up to her surroundings—and her position.

– She looked down. Then at me. Then at the shredded curtains. Then at her bruised ribs.

– "...Did we...?"

– "No."

– She blinked again.

– "Why am I alive?"

– "Because I'm merciful. And curious. And I didn't feel like bloodstains on my sheets."

– She stared at me for a long, awkward moment. Then whispered:

– "You're not who they said you were."

– "Yep. Upgrade 2.0—now with charm, sarcasm, and spiritual punch."

– ---

– A Few Hours Later…

– I was meditating in the garden, soaking in some post-duel Qi, when a servant rushed in, pale and shaking.

– "Y-Young Master! The Grand Elder is here… and he specifically asked for you."

– "Me? Personally?"

– "Yes… He said he sensed something unusual in the clan. A… 'Heaven-aligned pulse'."

– Great. The old cultivators were sniffing around. Probably picked up on my system-boosted aura last night when I was slap-boxing a ninja.

– "Where is he?"

– "In the main hall, awaiting you."

– I stood, adjusted my robes, and sighed.

– "Alright. Let's go meet Grandpa Wisdom Beard."

– ---

– Main Hall – Li Clan

– The air was heavier here. Denser. Elder Qi thickened the space like spiritual molasses. The moment I stepped inside, dozens of eyes turned to me—including one pair that glowed faint gold.

– That was Elder Han Xu, a Sect Elder from the Azure Sky Temple—one of the most powerful sects in the empire.

– He looked ancient. Long white robes, crystal staff, thin smile like he knew all your secrets.

– "Li Xian," he said, his voice echoing slightly. "So we meet."

– "Hi. Love the robe. Who ironed it?"

– Li Zhen, my ever-frustrated grandfather, hissed. "Show respect, boy!"

– Elder Han just chuckled.

– "No need. I like a tongue with teeth."

– I raised a brow. "Then you'll love mine. It rarely shuts up."

– More gasps from the elders.

– Han Xu's eyes narrowed, amused. "You're different than the rumors. I was told you were arrogant and useless."

– "Half right," I said. "I'm very arrogant. But I've upgraded the 'useless' part."

– He nodded.

– "I sensed a unique pulse last night. A wave of Heaven-grade Yang Qi. I traced it here. To you."

– Everyone froze.

– "That... that can't be possible," one elder muttered. "He's barely reached Foundation Stage."

– "But his aura," Han said, "is pure. Refined. Potent. Either he's hiding a Heaven-tier artifact..."

– He stepped forward and stared into my eyes.

– "...or he has a Heaven-Grade Physique."

– I smirked.

– "And if I said yes?"

– "Then I'd offer you a place in the Azure Sky Temple. Immediate entry. Personal tutelage under a core elder. Full access to secret realms. And... protection from rival clans."

– The room went still.

– Li Feng choked on air. Li Zhen's tea cup cracked in his hand.

– Even I paused. That was a hell of an offer.

– But then—

– ---

– [SYSTEM WARNING]

– > Host is advised to decline for now.

– Azure Sky Temple holds hidden intentions.

– Accepting now may lead to forced bloodline contracts and spiritual binding.

– Reward for Declining: +1 Hidden Opportunity unlocked.

– ---

– Of course there's a catch.

– I smiled politely.

– "Elder Han. I'm honored. Truly. But I'm not ready to join anyone's sect yet. I still need to... find myself."

– "And you think you'll do that in a brothel?"

– "I prefer hot springs, actually."

– Gasps again.

– Han Xu chuckled softly, but his eyes glittered with something colder. Something calculating.

– "Very well, Li Xian. But remember: my offer won't last forever."

– He turned, robes billowing like a dramatic stage actor.

– "Keep cultivating. Or you'll regret saying no."

– ---

– Later That Night...

– Back in my courtyard, Qing'er returned with folded arms.

– "Are you still angry?" I asked.

– "No."

– "You're lying."

– "Yes."

– "Will a hot bath and dual cultivation make you feel better?"

– She raised a brow. "You're lucky you're cute."

– Lan Ruo, sitting nearby with her arm bandaged, scoffed.

– "Flirting with both of us already?"

– "I'm a multitasker."

– ---

– [SYSTEM UPDATE]

– > New Relationship Triangle Detected.

– Warning: Jealousy Level: 22%

– Advice: Pick your next words carefully.

– ---

– "I think I'll just meditate for a while," I muttered.

– Both girls stared at me like I owed them answers. Or head pats. Or spiritual snacks.

– I sighed.

– "...I'm going to die. But I'll look good doing it."

– ---

– Author's Note

– Let's gooo 😭 Elder Han smells power, Lan Ruo's warming up, Qing'er's about to pop a vein, and our boy just dodged a trap sect invite.

– Next chapter: A rogue beauty appears from a forbidden sect, and MC gets dragged into a deadly outer-realm mission…

– Strap in.

– – ✍️ Kazuki Ren

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