Selene's Point of View.
"Elira is dead."
My world split in two.
"No," I breathed.
The word barely made it past my lips, it came out cracked and trembling, a whimper pretending to be a word.
"Elira isn't dead!"
I shook my head, hair falling into my face, sticking to the tear-slick skin.
"No," I repeated, firmer this time, my eyes flickered around in disbelief.
"You're wrong, she's just, she's just hiding. She does that, she plays games, Elira…" My voice faltered, tripping over the lie.
My mother stood at the foot of the bed, her body wrapped in her shawl like she was trying to fold in on herself, to vanish inside her own bones. Her hands shook against her mouth, knuckles white as her eyes which were once warm and full of life looked like rain-washed stones.
She didn't speak and began to sob again.
"No!" I gasped as I placed my hands over my mouth.
My father, tall and straight-backed in his alpha leathers, stood beside her like a wall that had never once bent to grief, but I saw it, the tightness around his eyes, the twitch in his jaw, and the fury blooming just beneath the surface.
"You're lying," I whispered again, desperate. "Elira pulled me out of the ocean, she saved me. She's probably, maybe she's…she's lost out there and waiting for us to find her." I stammered as the words felt too hard for me to let out.
I shoved the blanket off my legs, the weight of the bed suddenly unbearable. My skin felt too tight, like my grief had grown claws and was trying to rip its way out of me.
"I have to find her," I mumbled. "I have to go."
I staggered across the room, vision swimming, the wooden floor cold and slick beneath my bare feet.
The scent of salt and riverwater still clung to my skin.
My nightgown stuck to me like a second layer of regret. I barely noticed the pain, only the pull in my chest like a tether yanking me back toward the cliffs, toward the ocean, toward her.
"Elira!" I called, voice hoarse, cracking in my throat like broken glass.
But as I reached the door, a figure blocked my path.
It was one of my father's guards.
I slammed into his chest with a startled cry, pushing, clawing, trying to get through. "Let me go! She's still out there, I can feel her!"
His arms didn't move, he was a silent, immovable wall of muscle and duty.
"LET ME GO!" I screamed, fists pounding against his chest. "She's my sister, she's…she…"
"Enough!"
My father's voice boomed through the room like thunder breaking the sky.
I froze as my chest heaved, breath coming in sharp and animalistic gulps.
I turned around to face father, he was walking toward me with rage carved into every line of his face.
"You had one task, Selene," he growled. "One duty which is to protect your sister but instead, you failed her."
The words struck like claws across my heart and I stumbled back a step.
"I…I tried…"
"You let her die!" he roared, his voice echoing off the walls like a curse. "You took her out into the woods, you allowed her to go to the edge of that cliff. You dragged her into that storm, into the sea, and you dare survive without her!"
My mouth opened as I wanted to speak but suddenly, I felt speechless, and out of breath.
"It wasn't…" I choked. "It wasn't like that! Elira wanted to go into the woods, she begged me, she said it was her birthday and I should grant her this wish. She…she said…"
"And you obeyed her like a fool," Father snarled. "Like a child, that's what you are. A child playing pretend in an Alpha's skin."
"I tried to stop her!" I cried. "She ran ahead, she always does, and I followed to keep her safe!"
"And you FAILED!"
The scream of it stopped my heart.
"You let her drown while you lived. You call that protection? You call that leadership? You call that being an Alpha?"
Tears spilled over my cheeks, burning hot trails down my face.
"I need her back," I whispered, falling to my knees. "Please, please, I need her. I'll do anything to bring her back. Please."
Father didn't soften at my plight. Instead, he looked down at me with disgust.
"I should've mated with someone stronger," he said. "Someone who could give me an heir worthy of the bloodline, not… this."
My breath caught.
"You are nothing," he hissed. "You are a complete disappointment. A hollow thing wearing a crown that will never fit and now you've proven it."
The room spun and the floor dropped beneath me.
"Father…" I muttered in disbelief at his words.
My mother sobbed harder, but she still said nothing. She didn't stop him neither did she reach for me.
She let the silence speak for her.
I looked up at my father with saltwater in my eyes and a scream lodged in my throat.
"You don't mean that," I said. "You can't."
"I do," he replied.
My body trembled as rage boiled in my veins, hotter than grief, and sharper than the cold sea.
"You don't get to talk about strength," I spat, standing on shaking legs. "You don't even know what it is. Strength is staying soft in a world that crushes you. Strength is loving someone enough to follow them off a cliff. I would've died for her!"
"Then why didn't you?" he snapped.
The room shattered.
My scream ripped from my throat, louder than the waves, louder than the wind, louder than death.
"I hate you," I sobbed. "You think this is my fault because it's easier than facing the truth. You never loved her the way I did, you always say she is reckless and not fit to be a princess."
His jaw clenched and without saying other words, he turned away.
The door slammed shut behind him, the echo ringing through the silence like a final judgment.
I turned slowly, aching in every joint, every bone, every breath toward the only person left in the room.
My mother.
She still stood there, rooted like a wilted tree, her shawl pulled tightly around her trembling shoulders. Her eyes stared down at nothing, face pale and broken, cheeks slick with tears that hadn't stopped since the moment I woke up.
"Mother…" I whispered, my voice hoarse and thin.
She didn't move.
I stepped closer, reaching out as if I could bridge the space between us, close the distance that had never truly been filled since the day she began slipping into shadows.
"Please," I said, louder this time. "Say something. Look at me, please mother, I need you." but her gaze never met mine, instead she turned towards the door and walked away.
The door creaked softly as it closed behind her.
I was alone and for a moment, I just stood there, the silence pressing into my ears until it roared. Then my knees buckled beneath me, and I crumpled to the floor in a heap of limbs and grief. My hands clutched at the wood like I could claw my way through it, through time, through memory, and through the truth.
"No," I sobbed. "No, no, no, this is my fault."
The words came like a flood, too fast to stop.
"I should've said no to her request. I should've made her stay. I should've been stronger, louder, anything but what I was."
Tears poured down my cheeks, hot and endless. My throat burned with the effort of crying, but it wasn't enough. Nothing could ever be enough.
"I killed her," I whispered.
The words hung in the air like smoke.
"If she hadn't jumped in to save me, she would be the one alive and I…dead." My fingers curled into fists.
"If she hadn't tried, if she'd just let me go, then she'd still be here."
A scream built inside my chest, sharp and savage.
"I killed her!"
I slammed my fists against the floor, over and over as my voice cracked, but I kept shouting.
"I killed my sister!"
The guilt was a noose, tightening with every breath. I couldn't breathe past it neither could I think beyond the sound of her laughter being swallowed by the sea.
She had died because she loved me, because she couldn't watch me drown, and now I had to live with that.
*
Two terrible days passed and it was Elira's funeral. The whole pack was in mourning and everyone avoided me.
Father avoided eye contact with me and as I watched my sister get buried into the earth, hot tears flower endlessly and I stood still watching from afar as shame couldn't let me stand close to the royal household.
Soon the funeral was over and everyone slowly left, I didn't move away from my spot nor did my eyes leave Elira's grave.
Father walked to me, "I wish you were the one buried and not her." He whispered and without a second glance, he walked away leaving me filled with guilt.
Everyone finally left and I walked closer to Elira's grave. I knelt beside it and began to sob loudly, my face buried in my arms.
"I am sorry Elira."
"I am sorry that I couldn't save you."
"I am sorry that I killed you."
I cried bitterly as I didn't move an inch.
Hours passed by and soon, the sun had set and it was dark.
I was still seated at the grace, the moon was up and its light made the grave glitter.
I know that my parents now despised me and my father had told everyone in the pack that I wasn't good enough to be alpha anymore.
At once, something inside me had already made the decision.
I couldn't stay here anymore, I need to leave the pack tonight and go far away, maybe then my parents can find closure.
I would go, run into the woods and I would disappear into the trees where no one would find me, where no one would ever have to look at me again.
With a heavy heart, I got up on my feet.
"This is the only punishment that I can give to myself, sister. I am sorry."
I turned away, walked into the royal home, and entered my room as I began to undress.
I gathered what little I needed, my cloak, my boots, a satchel with dried meat and water. I took Elira's silver comb from my desk, pressing it to my chest like it was a heartbeat I could still hold.
"I have to leave, I can't stay here anymore." Tears rolled down my eyes as I took a final look at my room, my eyes fell on the bed I and Elira do spend sleepover nights in.
Then, I slipped out through the servants' passage and into the dark, soon, I found myself out of the pack and in the wild.
The woods greeted me with cold arms and rustling leaves.
I began to run.
I ran, breathless and with tears fixed eyes as my legs ached and my lungs screamed. The forest swallowed me whole and the only sound left was the sobs tearing out of my throat.
"Elira!" I screamed into the dark. "Come back!"
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"
My cries echoed through the trees and faded into silence.
I fell to my knees beneath the boughs of an old pine and pressed my face to the earth.
"I don't want to be here without you," I whispered.
"None of this matters without you."
A few hours went by, tired, I sat at the foot of a tree and slept off.
It wasn't long until I heard the sound of footsteps next to me.
"She is alive." A voice whispered.
Slowly, I opened my eyes and in front of me was the deepest blue eyes that I have ever seen.
"Help me." I muttered and my body gave into my weakness, I fainted.