The rope bit into his limbs. His arms had gone numb. Blood dripped slowly from the corner of Squidward's mouth onto the linoleum.
Sandy sat across from him, eyes glowing like twin welders' torches, her fur matted with sweat, her breath eerily calm.
The Death Note lay open in front of her like a freshly dug grave.
She read aloud:
"Patrick Star.
Sheldon Plankton.
Squilliam Fancyson..."
Her voice never wavered.
"Every officer in the Bikini Bottom Police Department…"
She turned another page.
"Perch Perkins."
She paused. Then snapped the book shut with a thump.
"Quite the collection," she said quietly.
Squidward trembled in his bindings. "I… I didn't—listen, I found the notebook outside. Near Goo Lagoon. I didn't even know what it was at first. I just… brought it home and forgot about it!"
Sandy's eyes didn't blink.
"I found it on your desk," she said coldly. "Open. Ink still wet. Pen nearby. Don't insult my intelligence."
"I—I was copying the names down!" Squidward stammered. "To catalog them! For my… my precognition! So I could predict and stop more deaths! It's—it's a list!"
Sandy slammed her palm on the table. The notebook jumped.
"Where's SpongeBob?"
That hit him harder than any punch.
He looked away. "He's not dead. I didn't kill him…"
"Then where is he?"
Squidward's voice cracked.
"He… He attacked the Krusty Krab. I—I tried to stop him. Told him the truth. He snapped. But before he could kill me, Neptune and his guards took him. He's in a dungeon. A cell. Somewhere in the royal city."
Sandy stood silently for a moment.
Then she raised her hands.
And began karate-chopping the air.
Squidward's eyes widened. "Wait—"
Too late.
She struck with lightning speed. A bone in one of his tentacles cracked like a celery stalk. He screamed.
"I trusted you!" CRACK
"You let him suffer!" SNAP
"You LIED to me!" CRUNCH
Every blow landed like thunder. His limbs buckled. His screams echoed through the house. Blood splattered onto his own clarinet.
Lurala didn't come.
Sandy's breath came hard and ragged, fists trembling.
"WHERE IS IT?!" she roared. "Where's the death god?! You said you see death! So SHOW IT TO ME!"
Squidward wept openly. "Lurala! Lurala, show yourself! She touched the notebook! She can see you!"
Nothing.
The room remained empty.
Lurala didn't come.
Sandy took that as a lie too. She dragged him off the chair, threw him to the ground, and resumed the assault with the practiced cruelty of a blackbelt bent on vengeance.
Three hours.
Squidward lost count of how many bones had been shattered. His left eye was swollen shut. Every breath tasted like rust.
He could barely form words anymore.
"Kill me," he rasped. "Just finish it."
But Sandy wasn't done.
"You're gonna die after I find out everything. You're not getting off that easy."
She reached for the notebook again.
Squidward twitched.
And then… the clock chimed.
A soft, almost cheerful chime.
10:00 PM.
Sandy paused.
And through the cracked lens of his vision, Squidward smiled.
Blood flecked his teeth. His limbs twitched. But his smile held.
Sandy narrowed her eyes. "What's so funny?"
Squidward chuckled, and it turned into a wheezing cough. "I… scheduled a loose end to be tied up. 10 PM. Right on time."
Her fingers curled.
"What the shell did you do?"
"Flip to the last page," he rasped. "Go on. You didn't check them all, did you? All those pages? Such a smart squirrel…"
Sandy's hands hesitated.
Then flipped. Page after page. Empty, empty, empty…
Until—
Sandy Cheeks.
Cause of death: ruptured coronary artery.
The book slipped from her hands.
Her pupils shrank.
She clutched her chest.
"No—" she wheezed.
She staggered backward. Her breath came in jagged gasps.
Her heart thundered once. Then misfired.
She collapsed to her knees.
"Y-You bastard…" she whispered, crawling toward him.
Her hand closed around his throat one last time.
But there was no strength left in it.
Her vision blurred.
And then faded to black.
She slumped forward.
Dead.
As she fell, her hand slipped against the rope.
One of the knots came undone.
Squidward fell forward and lay on the floor, battered, broken—but free.
He could barely move.
But he was alive.
And Sandy Cheeks was not.