As the Hood flung another blast of Hellfire at me, I dodged away, putting up a mystic shield to block the electric bolt the Hood flung my way mid-dodge. An Amber Spear formed in my hands and I flung it at the Hood overhand. The Hood's eyes widened as he leaped up into the air, dodging the spear by mere inches via climbing up into the air like going up stairs. The Amber Spear slammed into the exterior concrete wall, boring through it before bursting apart in the alleyway in an explosion of Ghur energy. The Hood smirked from his spot in mid-air and flung a massive blast of Hellfire at me with both hands from above. I put up a shield to block before reaching out to wandlessly cast Carpe Retractum on him. The seize and pull charm grabbed onto the Hood and flung him at my on-fire shield, forcing the Hood to extinguish the Hellfire to avoid burning to death.
As the Hood bounced off my shield with an 'oof' noise, I stood up rushing forward to slam a right cross into his face. With only the Force, Feruchemy, and my Chi Enhancement to power it, my punch wasn't as strong as it ordinarily would have been. It was still plenty powerful enough to knock out the vast majority of combatants. Not the Hood, though, as it turned out. Just before my fist connected, I noticed a sudden surge of Demonic Energy flood the Hood's Body. Enough to strengthen him to withstand my blow with only a split lip for my trouble. He was still sent reeling, though and that allowed me to fire a vacuum blast at him with Aeromancy that slammed him further back into the exterior wall, cratering the concrete and bursting both his eardrums. With a growl, the Hood stood up, leveling a pistol at me.
"Come on, man. That's not gonna do squat to me!" I griped, loudly enough to get through the burst eardrums he was sporting.
"Fuck you, White Hat! Fisk got me these!" Spat the Hood.
He then pulled a magazine out of a pocket somewhere and slapped it into his pistol. The Power of Comprehension granted to me by Amestrian Alchemy told me exactly what was in there, Vibranium Bullets. Those would definitely hurt me, so I focused my power of Ferromancy on his pistol, using the one Ferromantic spell I knew to cause a misfire that jammed the weapon. The Hood pulled the trigger only to hear a click, then a second and third pull repeated the outcome. He scowled at me and tossed the pistol aside. Then he did something I didn't expect.
The Hood pulled a wicked-looking dagger of black metal out of a hidden pocket. There were runes etched in the blade that hurt my eyes to look at and I knew that the dagger was a product of the Dark Dimension, the same as the cloak and boots he wore. There was no way that blade should be in reality. My third eye was practically screaming about it as I forced myself to analyze the blade. There was an enchantment that drained the life force from anyone the Dagger cut. Most of it would go to the wielder, but a bit of it was stored in the blade. Once enough life energy was stored in the blade, the next cut would open a portal to the Dark Dimension and allow Dormammu to send an Avatar through. That was some seriously bad juju.
"Where did you get that dagger?" I questioned.
"What do you care?" Spat the Hood.
"That Dagger shouldn't be in this realm. You've got no idea just what you're dealing in, do you?" I queried, suddenly realizing the Hood was still clueless about Dormammu, or at least Dormammu's true intentions.
"Sure I do. Dormammu, Extradimensional Demon, yadda yadda. Guy's stuck outside reality so he doesn't get a say in how I use his shit!" Challenged the Hood.
"No, he's not. Not if you use that dagger enough. Give it here and I can see it's kept safe." I demanded, holding my hand out.
"The fuck are you on about?" Asked the Hood.
"That Dagger steals life energy from its victims, some of it gets stored in the blade to open a portal to the Dark Dimension when it has enough. Judging by how much is in there, it's almost ready." I informed.
"Fuck off, you're bluffing!" Spat the Hood.
"I'm not. Someone's trying to use you to bring an Avatar of Dormammu through." I reiterated.
The Hood looked conflicted for a moment, just before Jen crept up on him and, with a single green fist, thwacked him on the top of the head. The Hood's eyes rolled back in their sockets and he fell to the ground, unconscious. Jen scooped up the dagger and made her way over to me, handing the Blade of Dormammu to me. It went into my bag of holding for now, I'd hand it over to Doctor Strange whenever he got back from checking in on Erlik. Looking up at Jen, I cocked an eyebrow at her in question.
Jen simply shrugged and said, "You were taking too long. This was supposed to be date night, remember?"
"So it was. Gimme a sec to tie all these guys up and we can get back on that." I nodded.
"I'll need to change first. My apartment isn't too far away, maybe we can continue this there?" Offered Jen, hopefully.
"If you feel like doing that, I'm not gonna object. Let me just get some rope to tie these guys up with." I agreed.
"No need." Came a voice from the doorway.
I turned around and spotted the familiar red and blue costume of New York City's very own Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman. I honestly wasn't expecting him. This close to Chinatown, I was actually expecting someone more like Shang Chi or Iron Fist. Still, this was a lot cooler, as Spidey had been one of my favorites growing up back on my old Earth. For a nerdy kid growing up in the late nineties and early two-thousands, back before Nerd Stuff had become mainstream, Spidey had been out there showing you could be an unapologetic nerd and still be cool. All that was to say that if not for Alakhestry granting me complete mastery over my own body, and the Force plus my primary mutation allowing me to forcibly center and regulate my own emotions, I'd have made a complete ass out of myself in front of Jen just now by fanboying extra-hard.
"I wasn't expecting to see you here, Webhead." Remarked Jen.
"Yeah, isn't Chinatown more or less Shang Chi's territory?" I questioned.
"We're in SoHo right now. Chinatown's about a block that way." Retorted Spidey, gesturing.
"Either way, thanks for the assist. How long have you been hanging around?" Queried Jen.
"Long enough to see your date make with the Magic. You guys seemed to have it handled, so I focused on the Getaway Driver. Neat trick, by the way, do you do parties?" Quipped Spidey.
"You couldn't afford my rates." I returned, a giant grin on my face. I was quipping with Spider-Man! This was the best night ever!
"Probably true. Anyway, let me just web these guys up. I don't recognize the magic guy you were dealing with but that guy's Hammerhead, a Capo with the Maggia." Admitted Spidey before starting to Web up the Hammerhead, the Hood, and the others.
"You know, I'd heard the Kingpin had gotten out, but I didn't think he'd make a move so soon." Sighed Jen.
"He's the Kingpin, it's what he does. The Guy wouldn't know a legitimate day's work if it jumped up and kicked him right in his massive tuchus." Pointed out Spidey, finishing webbing up Hammerhead and moving to Web up the Hood.
"Wait. Take the cloak and boots off him first." I advised.
"Hey, pal, I dunno how they do things where you're from, but we don't steal from the baddies." Insisted Spidey.
"Not what I meant. The Cloak and Boots are Demonic Artifacts, they give him his power. Don't take them off him and he'll just summon Hellfire to burn through the webbing when he wakes up." I clarified.
"Ah, well that's a horse of a different color." Nodded Spidey, sagely, moving to strip the Hood of his cloak and boots.
"Much as we'd like to hang around, Webhead, we were on a date before all this happened." Prompted Jen.
"Right, you two crazy kids go on ahead. I'll finish up here." Snarked Spidey.
"Wait! Before you go! As thanks for saving my restaurant!" Came an aged voice from the kitchen. I turned to see the Old Man who ran the Silver Lotus emerging with a bag of takeaway. I couldn't accept that, though.
"I damaged your wall trying to deal with the Hood. I can't take this." I refused.
"Insurance will pay for the wall. I have the best one, it covers damage from Superhuman Fights. You'd have to be crazy to live in New York City and not get a plan that does. It's no trouble, take the food." Reiterated the Old Man.
"We did order entrees we never got to eat." Pointed out Jen.
"Right. Thank you." I thanked the Owner in Mandarin, accepting the food.
"Come back again soon!" Called Auntie Bi in Mandarin from the Kitchen.
"I will." I promised.
"Before you go, what's your name, your Costumed Name, I mean?" Asked Spidey.
"I don't know. I hadn't put much thought into one. I probably should though." I admitted.
"Do it, gotta have a hook in this business, you know." Agreed Spidey.
And with that, Jen and I got a cab back to her apartment, which turned out to be a loft off Grand Street in SoHo. Jen, it seemed, was pretty stylish judging from all the art on the walls. I looked around, spotting a bunch of different pieces. I could admire the craftsmanship, but my own stuff tended more toward function than form. Even the stuff that took hard to get metals and rare materials was more functional than pretty. It wouldn't be unfair to call me a Craftsman instead of an Artist in that regard. Here I saw the other end of the spectrum. Some of this stuff was abstract enough that I couldn't tell what it was supposed to evoke.
"I didn't know you were an art fan." I mused.
"Yeah, I get called in to do estate sales sometimes. It comes with the territory, being a Lawyer living in SoHo. If I see something I like, I usually get to take it home as part of my fee. Are you into art?" Questioned Jen.
"I'm more of a craftsman. I do know how to do a lot of stuff, you have to know how to forge to make a magic blade, for example. My stuff is more substance than flash though. I can still admire the skill." I admitted.
"It sounds like you're a man of many talents. I'd like to get to know some of them. Intimately." Hinted Jen. I picked up on that but glanced over at the food that the Owners of the Silver Lotus insisted we take with us. Jen spotted that and grinned.
"Leave it, let's work up an appetite first." She smirked before taking my hand and dragging me toward the bedroom.
Suffice it to say, we very much did work up that appetite. By the time we were finished, we'd actually wound up breaking Jen's bedframe, owing to how she'd hulked out at the moment of triumph, so to speak. Laying there in the afterglow, cuddling, I felt like I belonged on Earth Six-One-Six for the first time in a while. This really had been the best night ever. I'd met Spider-Man, beaten some baddies, headed off a potential future Dormammu incursion, and even got to sleep with a gorgeous and beautiful woman. Speaking of, Jen and I drifted off to sleep like that, cuddling. We decided to leave the Chinese food and to have it for breakfast, instead of eating it now. It would taste just as good in the morning.
Unfortunately, my dreams would wind up being less fun than my evening. As soon as I fell asleep, I found myself once again sitting in a white room staring at the face of a certain Omnipotent Jheri-curled Asshole.
"What now?" I grumbled.
Somehow, the grin he gave me didn't exactly put my mind at ease. . .
XXXX
AN: The next chapter is already up on my Patreon, so check the link in the threadmarked post if you guys feel like throwing me a couple bucks to get chapters in advance. Everyone who does is super appreciated and I can't thank my patrons enough.
All right, so here's the end of the date with Jennifer Walters. The Sensational She-Hulk being a serial dater, decided she'd sleep with the guy she actually likes on the first date. Of course, whether this will last or just be a fling has yet to be seen. They're certainly romantically compatible though.
At the same time, something was going on with the Hood and Dormammu. He found the cloak and boots early and somehow had a dagger that could have allowed Dormammu to send an Avatar through a portal to invade reality. Something is definitely up there. The Beyonder knows about it, and guess who just decided to show up to check on Jan?
Speaking of which, that conversation is coming up next chapter.
Stay tuned. . .