I haven't done much praying over the years but immediately I regained consciousness, and everything came rushing back – I prayed.
I prayed like never before to whoever the actual God is. I pray that what I think might be a dream – all that happened four years
ago – is actually a dream.
Or a vision, that I went back in time is actually real.
I really hope that that – the waking up back in time –is the actually real.
I was so scared to open my eyes. I had to try to blindly sense my environment.
The mattress was still so soft, there was the beeping and the smell.
Summoned all my courage, open one eyes at first as if it'll make any difference.
I've never felt so happy for being in a hospital. I was still there. Still in that same room as four years ago, or should I say…
before my dream?
My chest tightened. I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry from relief, or scream in terror. The pain of the last four years was still lodged deep in my bones, even if the scars were gone. Even if my skin looked untouched. My body might be back here—but my soul
was still bruised.
But I chose to celebrate regardless. I promised myself to live this life to the fullest.
All the celebratory noises I was going to make died done in my throat when I heard the conversation going on in the background.
Apparently all I'd needed in the dream was to
just faint.
Had I fainted then, I would have probably woken up to hear this conversation and would have been saved four years of pure torture and humiliation.
"She vulnerable and fragile now. She'd be easy to break. We need to make her believe she's the reason for her family's death, give her a little attention, then boom we have her under complete control." My heart chattered as I heard what Richard said.
"I don't care about all these. All her want is total control of her assets. Everything is automatically in her name now." Elise
replied. She has always been the one wearing the pants in the relationship.
"Having her under control is the same as having control of her assets." Replied Richard.
"That's not reliable. What if she gets out of
control?"
"Then how about we marry her to one of our sons?"
"Which one of them?"
"Micheal?"
"No… Micheal already has a fiancée and you know that. And he's the promising one."
"Yhh.. you right. I just thought someone put-together will have a better hold on her."
"No! Let's get her engaged to Ethan. Then we can have control of them both. Ethan is indecisive and gullible. Things will be easier
with him." Elise concluded. Well at least one thing is true.
"Yes… you're right."
I guess that was how they decided how to ruin my life.
I felt so stupid and disappointed. I was disappointed myself. How could I have trusted them?
Why was I so needy? I was in so much need of affection that I closed my eyes and refused to see what was truly happening.
I'd planned to stay away from them this lifetime but that was before, when I didn't know it was all planned. Now, I have to pay them back bit by bit.
I waited for a while after they'd stopped talking before I cough to enable them know that I was awake.
Elise rushed over, fussing over me, acting like she was a good person. She offered me water which I drank after taking a moment to remind
myself that they don't plan on killing me. At least, not yet.
I stared at her. Not just because she looked exactly like she did four years ago—but because I could remember every single lie she and Richard told me. How they wrapped their claws
around everything my parents left behind. How they smiled while tightening the
leash.
"You… you're not supposed to be here," I muttered, my voice raspy. Seeing her after listening to her conversation
with her husband made all I went through on the dream even worse. It like putting it all to my face again.
She blinked. "I know. We didn't want to intrude. But after the news... and..." She trailed off, gauging me carefully. "We were named your emergency guardians. We're here to take care of you, Nevaeh."
The same line. Word for word. How many times had they practiced that back then?
"What if my grandma?" I asked.
Suddenly fluttered, she answered.
"Oh she's also grieving… you can't stay with her. She doesn't even want to see anyone
– including she said."
"Really?…"
And I'd believed them. I would have believed them again had I not heard their conversation.
Back then, I was broken.
Grieving. Lost. I clung to anything that resembled stability—even if it was wrapped in deceit.
But now... I wasn't that same girl. Even if the world around me looked the same.
I sat up straighter.
"Where's my phone?" I asked sharply.
She looked surprised.
"Your phone? Oh… it was damaged. In the—incident. But we can get you a new one."
Of course. That's what she'd said back then, too. Now seeing how fluttered she is, I realized they'd destroyed all my contacts and cut me off from the outside world. Slowly, efficiently, they'd isolated me.
Not this time.
"I can remember vividly, I was already in the floor before I fainted. There's no way the phone could have been damaged. I'd like you to help me check again, bring it to me either ways.
Unless someone purposely damaged it… it should be alright. Also, I'd like to speak with the doctor," I said, firm.
This time, her smile faltered just a bit.
"Of course," she said after a pause. "I'll go fetch him."
She left, and her lap dog – Richard followed after.
I threw the blanket off me and stood to examine myself. I don't look a day older than seventeen. No pain. No scars. But my mind had not. It's all so overwhelming that I feel like I'm delusional or maybe… crazy.
But a crazy person doesn't think they're crazy now do they?
While waiting for them to cocker back, I'd decided that although I don't have a plan yet, I promise to make the miserable.
I need to bring upon them the humiliation they'd brought upon me. I need to pay them back – I really hate debts.
I wasn't going to make the same mistakes again.
This time, I wouldn't chase anyone's love.
This time, I would not beg to be seen.
This time, I would not lose myself for anyone.
They took everything from me before.
Now, I was going to take it all back.