Location: Verdant Peak Courtyard - Post-Flight Trauma
The phantom taste – a lingering specter of fermented bog mire, sulfurous demonic halitosis, and despair distilled – still clung to Gu Qingxi's palate like a curse. She spat forcefully onto the frost-rimed moss beside her courtyard's spirit-cleansing fountain, the clear water doing little to purge the olfactory assault. Her stomach churned in sympathetic rebellion.
"BAHAHAHAHA!" The Boundless Spirit Ancestor's laughter exploded within her mind, a cacophony of pure, unadulterated schadenfreude that vibrated her nascent foundation. "Stung by the Stench, eh? The Fasting Elixir's maiden voyage is always a spectacle worthy of celestial opera! That sweet-faced Shixiong of yours? Conveniently omitted the crucial olfactory briefing, didn't he? Oh, he plotted this! I bet he's chuckling into his spirit congee right now, picturing your glorious gag reflex!"
"Wh-Why…" Gu Qingxi rasped, splashing another handful of icy water onto her face, the cold a temporary balm against the internal horror. "Why does it reek like the Ninth Hell's latrine after a millennium of neglect?"
"Your despair echoes through the ages!" the Ancestor retorted, his mental voice dripping with shared revulsion. "Epochs turn! Kingdoms rise and crumble to dust! Yet these wretched pellets remain unchanged! Did no enterprising pill master, amidst fumes of alchemical glory, pause to ponder: 'Hmm, perhaps "putrid primordial swamp gas" isn't the optimal flavor profile for mass consumption?' My inaugural bite centuries ago nearly launched my nascent spirit core straight back to the Nether King's welcoming embrace!" He sighed dramatically, the sound like grinding tombstones. "No one warned me either. Golden Rule of Survival: Inhale Deeply Before Placing Pill. Hold Breath. GULP! Swallow fast, think later. Like ingesting cursed obsidian pebbles."
"And YOU neglected to share that invaluable survival scripture!" Gu Qingxi growled, realization igniting fury. The omission felt deliberate, malicious. "Unforgivable! Mark my words, Ancestor…"
"Peace! Mercy! Divine Intervention!" the Ancestor's voice instantly scrambled into frantic appeasement, sensing genuine, foundation-shaking wrath. "Oversight! Regrettable, tragic oversight! I swear on the crumbling pillars of my former dominion! Any future pits of despair, quicksand of etiquette, or culinary landmines? Forewarned! Your safety, comfort, and olfactory sanctity are my paramount, unyielding concern!" He practically oozed oily repentance, the mental equivalent of kowtowing.
"Similar 'oversights' delay your excavation project another century. Understood?" Gu Qingxi hissed, channeling ice forged in the heart of a dying star.
"Crystal! Absolute transparency henceforth! Cross my non-existent heart, hope my spectral form dissipates!" the Ancestor vowed with desperate fervor, the image of a whimpering ghost flickering in her mind's eye.
Using Xue Mingbai's Frost-Cup – now her most treasured artifact – Gu Qingxi gulped down soothingly cold water, the chill momentarily numbing the phantom stench of putrid damp socks and existential dread. But the victory was Pyrrhic. Her stomach, violently reminded of its emptiness by the purge and the lingering trauma, unleashed a guttural, demanding growl that echoed in the quiet courtyard. "Starving," she groaned, the word heavy with despair. Fasting Elixirs? Never. Again. Chillspring materialized beneath her feet with a resentful hum. Cliff Peak commissary it was. Hungry, humiliated, and financially bleeding, but resolved.
Location: Cliff Peak Commissary Landing - Disembarking & Social Sniping
Landing outside the bustling commissary, a utilitarian stone structure steaming with the aromas of overcooked spirit-grain and rendered beast fat, Gu Qingxi drew immediate attention. Disciples pouring out of Triple Inquiry Hall classes slowed, their chatter dying as eyes tracked Chillspring's graceful dissipation and the figure who stepped off it. Foundation Establishment? Flight? Yesterday?! The unspoken questions hung thick in the air, mingling with the commissary steam. Envy, disbelief, and a palpable sense of being abruptly left behind warred on faces still flushed from basic stance drills.
"Qingxi! Drawn by the siren song of Spirit-Pig Belly?" Xu Baozhu's cheerful voice cut through the stares like a warm knife through congealed fat. She emerged from the throng, pulling a slightly hesitant Xue Mingbai along, her round face beaming. "Join the feast!"
"Feasting implies indulgence," Gu Qingxi sighed, the loss of her free-meal privilege a fresh wound. "Paying for sustenance, more accurately. The golden age of complimentary gruel is over." Her annoyance was palpable.
Fang Jingxue, lingering near a moss-covered pillar pretending to adjust her hairpin, overheard. Her expression curdled like milk left in the midsummer sun. "Feasting? More like parading!" she hissed, loud enough to carry, her voice sharp with venomous envy. "Couldn't wait to flaunt that borrowed altitude? Must be nice, skipping steps while the rest of us grind."
Xu Baozhu whirled, her usual placid demeanor vanishing like mist under a noonday sun. Her eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. "Jealousy poisons the spirit well, Fang-shijie!" Her voice, usually warm honey, turned into shards of ice. "If the spotlight burns your eyes so fiercely, earn your own ascent! Until then," she added, her voice dropping to a cutting whisper that somehow carried further, "save us the vinegar brew. It's terribly… pedestrian." She dismissed Fang Jingxue with a flick of her wrist, turning her back deliberately. "Knowing one's limits isn't shameful. Constantly jabbing at those who soar? Pathetically transparent."
Fang Jingxue's face flushed crimson, then deepened to an unhealthy puce. Words seemed to clot in her throat, choked by impotent fury. She settled for one final, venomous glare that promised future retribution before spinning on her heel and vanishing into the steamy, crowded interior of the commissary, her retreat as graceless as her attack.
Gu Qingxi watched her go, a flicker of dark amusement warring with irritation. Xu Baozhu, sweet-faced and plump, possessed the verbal precision of a master duelist and the protective ferocity of a mother spirit-bear. No blade required; Fang Jingxue impaled herself on her own envy. Xu Baozhu linked arms with Gu Qingxi, her sunny demeanor instantly restored. "Food conquers foul moods! Move!" She propelled them towards the cacophony and enticing smells.
Location: Cliff Peak Commissary - Interior Chaos & Culinary Consolation
Inside, the commissary was a riot of noise, steam, and jostling disciples. Long trestle tables groaned under platters of steaming spirit-rice, vats of questionable stew, and the undeniable star: glistening, mahogany-hued slabs of Spirit-Pig Belly braised in Crimson Starfire Sauce, their rich, fatty aroma battling valiantly against the underlying notes of boiled cabbage and adolescent sweat.
"Payment first," Gu Qingxi sighed, detaching herself from Xu Baozhu's enthusiastic tow and heading towards the cashier's cage – a reinforced spirit-wood booth manned by a disciple whose permanent scowl suggested a lifetime of culinary disappointment.
Joining Xu Baozhu and Xue Mingbai at a miraculously vacated corner table, Gu Qingxi surveyed her tray: a generous portion of the famed belly, a mound of rice, and a small bowl of suspiciously green pickled vegetables. Xu Baozhu, already attacking her own portion with gusto, paused mid-bite, curiosity sparkling in her eyes. "Qingxi, why brave the commissary chaos? Foundation Stage means Fasting Elixirs, right? Though," she added, waving a chopstick laden with glistening pork, "a true connoisseur appreciates substance over… paste." She wrinkled her nose delicately.
"Paste?" Gu Qingxi shuddered violently, pushing her plate slightly away, the memory resurfacing with nauseating clarity. "Try 'Biohazard Distillate'. 'Essence of Forgotten Tomb'. Revolting doesn't begin to cover it."
Xu Baozhu's eyes widened, sparkling with morbid fascination. "Revolting? How revolting? Quantify the horror! Show me the cursed vessel!" She extended a hand across the table, palm up, demanding evidence.
"We haven't ascended yet," Xue Mingbai interjected cautiously, setting down his own chopsticks. "Spirit-rich foods aid refinement and nascent impurity purgation. Fasting Elixirs bypass that process…"
"—Pure Blade initiates start Day One on these!" Xu Baozhu countered, adopting the tone of a scholar citing obscure precedents. Her index finger tapped the polished wooden table for emphasis. "Surely one infinitesimal pellet wouldn't fracture our core pathways?" She blinked enormous, imploring eyes at Gu Qingxi, perfected innocent curiosity. "Please? Merely a scholarly assessment? Brother Xue yearns to record the educational experience!" Xue Mingbai, caught in the crossfire of her infectious, dangerous enthusiasm, hesitated, then nodded slowly, curiosity warring with caution.
Gu Qingxi: "..."
"Bahahahahaha! THE UNINITIATED DANCING TOWARDS THE DUNGEON DRIP! Cosmic jest! Oblige their pleas! They beg for enlightenment! Their faces! Priceless!!" The Ancestor howled, demonic glee echoing in Gu Qingxi's skull, practically vibrating her foundation.
A slow, viperine smile spread across Gu Qingxi's face. "Scholarly diligence is paramount," she declared, her voice smooth as polished jade, laced with the faintest hint of impending doom. "After sustaining the body… enlightenment follows."
Xu Baozhu pumped her fist. "Qingxi embodies wisdom!"
Xue Mingbai mumbled, "...Appreciated."
"Wisdom? More like the Reaper guiding lambs to the grinder! Their faces! Priceless!!" The Ancestor's laughter threatened to fracture Gu Qingxi's newly solidified foundation.
Following this perilous promise, Xu Baozhu and Xue Mingbai exercised unprecedented restraint, leaving significant portions of their meal. Gu Qingxi, honoring the sacred principle of Maximizing Investment Return, consumed every savory morsel, savoring the crispy char on the spirit-pork and the vinegary tang of the questionable vegetables, determined to extract every ounce of value from her hard-spent stones.
Location: Secluded Cliff Path - The Great Elixir Reckoning
Minutes later, on a secluded gravel path winding along a ravine choked with pungent spirit-sagebrush, profound bodily betrayal unfolded. Xu Baozhu and Xue Mingbai were reduced to trembling silhouettes on their knees, surrendering the entire, expensive contents of their Cliff Peak meal tribute into the fragrant foliage. Sounds of profound distress – retching, gagging, pitiful whimpers – rent the quiet mountain air, a symphony of gastrointestinal revolt.
Gu Qingxi stood nearby, leaning against the rough bark of an ancient Ironbark Pine, biting her lip ferociously to contain the torrential laughter threatening to erupt as an undignified celestial goose-honk. Tears of suppressed mirth gathered at the corners of her eyes. Future leverage? Impeccably secured. Blackmail material? Grade A, Prime Cut.
Had Fang Jingxue endured this crucible moments earlier," Xue Mingbai gasped between heaves, clutching his protesting stomach while eyeing the seemingly innocent brown pellet he'd hastily resealed and dropped into his storage pouch as if it were unstable skyfire jade, "she'd have offered Gu-shimei her finest silk handkerchief, potentially groveling for forgiveness, rather than spitting venom."
Xu Baozhu lifted a pallid, tear-streaked face, strands of hair plastered to her sweaty forehead. She fixed Gu Qingxi with a gaze brimming with wounded betrayal. "Conspirator! Saboteur! Why conceal the... magnitude? That wasn't 'revolting'! That was… cosmic offense! An assault on the very concept of taste!"
"Suffering shared," Gu Qingxi declared loftily, adopting the tone of an enlightened sage dispensing universal truth while carefully avoiding looking directly at their misery, "is suffering lessened, dear companions! Was I not scourged by the same unholy draught mere hours ago? Witness my empathy! To cleanse your spirit-palate and soothe your traumatized cores..." She paused, letting the dramatic tension build, the only sounds the ragged breathing of her friends and the distant cry of a hawk. "...A feast! My treat. The Heavenly Fragrance Pavilion in Skyclear City." She paused again, wielding her next offer like a master diplomat presenting a peace treaty carved from jade: "And… serene passage there." Her gaze swept over them, radiating magnanimity. "Personal aerial transport. Cloud-skimming, turbulence-minimized, nausea-proof flight guaranteed."
Xu Baozhu's scowl vanished instantly, replaced by wary interest battling residual nausea. "Terms… potentially acceptable," she managed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. The legendary Pavilion's menu momentarily eclipsed her suffering.
"You mean… flight?" Xue Mingbai's eyes, previously glazed with misery, ignited with startling intensity. The idea of soaring above the world without relying solely on his own foundation, experiencing the sky without terror, held profound appeal. "For real? Gentle flight?"
"Contract etched in spirit-silk and sworn upon the Azure Essence Jade," Gu Qingxi affirmed solemnly, placing a hand over her heart. Relief flooded Xue Mingbai's face, while Xu Baozhu managed a small, vengeful nod, already mentally perusing the Pavilion's legendary five-course Spirit Beast Banquet.
Location: Ironbark Pine Grove - The Gift of Cosmic Irony
Just as the fragile peace solidified, Xu Baozhu's eyes widened like twin full moons. "WAIT!" She lunged, grabbing Gu Qingxi's sleeve with surprising strength for someone recently emptied, hauling her behind the massive, fissured trunk of a nearby Thousand-Year Ironbark Pine. Her voice dropped to a hissing stage whisper saturated with theatrical secrecy. "Qingxi! Forgot! Your true ascension prize!" She dug frantically into an inner pocket hidden within the silken folds of her robe, fumbling with a small pouch fastened with complex spirit-knots that shimmered faintly. "This! The coup de grâce secured at great personal cost! A battle waged in the shadows!" Her eyes darted left and right, scanning for invisible spies.
(Expanded Gift Reveal for Maximum Humor & Irony)
With the reverence reserved for handling a sliver of the Primordial Moon, Xu Baozhu extracted a small bundle wrapped in multiple layers of fine, shimmering Silver-Silk Spirit Cloth. She peeled back the layers one by one, building the tension like a master puppeteer, each fold revealing a glimpse of precious padding beneath. Finally, nestled within a bed of impossibly soft Moon-Moth down, lay its treasure: a single talisman paper. Not just any paper – the highest grade Azure Resonance Paper, smooth as glacial ice and shimmering with captured starlight motes. And the inscription – vibrant vermillion ink traced with impeccable, flowing strokes that seemed to pulse with latent power: the entwined characters for Harmony (和), Peach Blossom (桃), surrounding the unmistakable, intricately knotted form of the Heart's Desire Labyrinth.
"This!" Xu Baozhu breathed, her voice thick with awe, holding it aloft so the fading sunlight caught the vermillion ink, making it glow like captured embers. "Behold the Supreme Peach Blossom Harmony Concord Talisman! Crown jewel of the Beast Taming Peak gossip circuit! The stuff of whispered legend in the Jade Reflection Dorms!" She lowered it slightly, her eyes locking onto Gu Qingxi's, radiating the intensity of a zealot. "Impossible supply! Mythical potency! Senior Sister Han guarded hers like a Fire-Drake hoards its first-hatched scale! Three hundred flawless spirit stones!" She emphasized the number, fingers splayed. "Three hundred! Days of incessant pleading! Threats involving Elder Brother Hu's embarrassing, moonstruck verses dedicated to Mistress Lu of the Alchemy Pavilion! Finally," she sighed dramatically, clutching the talisman to her chest momentarily, "prevailed! Through sheer, unyielding persistence!"
Her voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, leaning in so close Gu Qingxi could smell the lingering tang of vomit and spirit-pork on her breath. "Unmatched efficacy! Elder Disciple Lian met the devastatingly handsome Disciple Feng of the Mystical Rhythm Sect beneath the Twin Moon Blossoms within seven dawns of activation! Junior Disciple Mei swears it softened Elder Keeper Zhou's notoriously granite heart sufficiently to earn her grooming duties for the Spirit-Kitten Pearl-Glow! And," she added, her eyes gleaming with the thrill of the juiciest gossip, "heard whispers Master Apprentice Li credits its subtle resonance for two prestigious betrothal offers arriving by Celestial Swan Courier the very same week!" She pressed the precious talisman into Gu Qingxi's unresisting hand, folding her fingers over it with solemn finality. Her expression was conspiratorial and deeply pleased. "Someone lingering in your thoughts? That stoic swordsman practicing sunrise forms with spine-straightening, jaw-dropping dedication near the Cloud-Soaring Arena? The shy, perpetually herb-dust-covered alchemist who blushes crimson whenever you pass the Scriptorium? Activate this at dawn's first blush, channeling a wisp of pure desire! Manifest Celestial Affection on Silk!" She winked, a gesture laden with profound meaning. "Got one for Xue Mingbai too! Preparation," she declared sagely, "is the foundation of destiny!"
Gu Qingxi stared down at the intricate design now resting in her palm. The specific, slightly asymmetrical curvature of the central Peach Blossom petal she'd drawn while half-asleep… the subtle, unconscious pressure she'd applied on the final stroke of the Heart's Labyrinth knot… the faint, unique resonance signature of her own diluted Qi she'd intentionally imbued into the entire batch weeks ago as a maker's mark. It was as familiar as the lines on her own palm, as intimately known as the rhythm of her own breath. She unfolded it fully, her movements slow, deliberate, almost numb. Every sigil, every pulse of subtly encoded Qi… screamed her handiwork. Time fractured. Sound ceased. The rustling leaves, Xu Baozhu's expectant breathing, Xue Mingbai's curious shuffle – all vanished. Her lungs refused to draw air. Her mind tumbled headlong into an abyss of cosmic absurdity, echoing with the now-undeniable, hysterical sound of the Boundless Spirit Ancestor roaring with laughter so violent it threatened to destabilize her Soul Sea. He'd known. The wretched ghost had known all along!
In Xu Baozhu's outstretched hand, radiating triumphant satisfaction in exchange for a small fortune scraped together over years… lay one of Gu Qingxi's own, mass-produced-in-downtime Peach Blossom Harmony Talismans. The very definition of cosmic irony, served cold on a bed of spirit-silk.