POV Rio
As everyone approached, I was enjoying the snow. Cait didn't even wait and joined me. Then Hancock joined. Then Dogemeat. Then Deacon. Quiet didn't join, but she watched. I thought that was no good, so I stood up.
"Ehem. I. DECLARE WAR!" I said, then threw snowballs at everyone.
"WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!" I screamed as I ran.
"Get him!" Cait screamed.
They came after me, but by the time they arrived, I had started building a snow fort. I was outnumbered, but I could create and throw snowballs simultaneously with my magic. I even made a Snowball Launcher.
"Now that's just not fair!" Cait complained.
"All is fair in war and love," I said while sticking out my tongue.
Triggered Sound
Everyone looked at me with looks that promised retribution.
Several Hours Later...
We spent numerous hours fighting our snow war. Ultimately, I was compelled to sign an armistice. I blame the economy. We had actually managed to make two large Snow Forts. Mine was 10 feet tall and theirs was 8. The best part was that since the forts were made near the Mirelurk Queen Ice Sculpture, they would never melt. Any frozen enemies became a Never-Melt Ice-like material. It also gave off a cold aura that lowered the nearby temperature to below freezing.
"The war may be over, but I will have my revenge," I say confidently.
"Hah! Please, try us. We will win when hostilities resume. We only signed the armistice because we have other things to do today," Cait says with arrogance.
"Pride Cometh before the Fall," I reply.
We glare at each other before bursting into laughter. Everyone joined in except Quiet, but she at least had a happy smile. After we stopped, we started to clean up all the mess made from the battle. Not the First Snow War but the Mirelurk mess. We got thousands of pounds of usable Mirelurk Meat. The rest of the remains were broken down into fertilizer. I also got the Luck Bobblehead. It read: I Just Don't Know What Went Wrong! It gave a perk of the same name.
Special Perk: I Just Don't Know What Went Wrong
You now have a sixth sense for when something might go wrong. You are immune to bad luck or misfortune. Your companions are also immune to Bad Luck and Misfortune. You can now choose which save to be loaded (up to 3 previous saves).
Needless to say, the perk was stupidly powerful. The first part was hard to quantify. It could be Comic Spiderman broken, or it could be a gut feeling that occasionally works. The second part was good. I didn't really suffer from any of that, but it was nice to have some extra protection. But the last part... That was really, really good. Before, I would just automatically load a previous save, but sometimes that wouldn't work. Having the ability to basically travel back in time by up to nearly two months was extremely useful. If I had been stuck in the trap I was previously I could have avoided it much more easily.
The Sonic Disruptor was turned on, but it didn't cause anything as all the Mirelurks were already dead. Once the Workshop was activated, I cleaned up the island a bit more by scrapping old shacks and other decrepit structures. I kept the Barn and the shack with the Sonic Disruptor, but everything else was scrapped. Then it was time to head down below into the facility. So one by one, we started heading down the ladder.
Clink Clink Clink Clink Clink Clink Clink
We hear the clinking of steps on the ladder over and over again. But then I start hearing music.
(AN: Play Snake Eater - MGS3 OST (High Quality) on YouTube for the music.)
"What a thrill.
With darkness and silence through the night.
What a thrill
I'm searching and I'll melt into you
What a fear in my heart
But you're so supreme....
I give my life
Not for honor, but for you (Snake Eater)
In my time there'll be no one else
Crime, it's the way I fly to you (Snake Eater)
I'm still in a dream, Snake Eater!
Someday you go through the rain
Someday you feed on a tree frog
This ordeal, the trial to survive
For the day we see new life...
I give my life
Not for honor, but for you (Snake Eater)
In my time there'll be no one else
Crime, it's the way I fly to you (Snake Eater)
I'm still in a dream, Snake Eater
I'm still in a dream, Snake Eater (Snake Eater)"
The song ends right as we get to the bottom of the ladder. Admittedly, I wasn't sure how the math worked as I estimated the ladder to be at least 500 meters long, but I was fine with that. The music was good, and it made the trip go quicker. At the bottom of the shaft was a single metal door.
"Identification, please," said a voice from the door.
I pull out an ID badge and submit it for scanning. It takes a few seconds, but eventually we are granted access and the door opens. I could already see the entirety of the facility, and I could say for certain that it was quite small. It was a mix between a lab and a bunker. It had the basic necessities to live and an extensively equipped lab, but otherwise it was bare. Even security was lax. I counted 4 Sentry Bots, 8 Assaultrons, 4 Mr. Gutsy's, and 1 very odd-looking Assaultron.
The others agreed with my assertion when they saw it.
"Does that robot have... boobs?" Deacon asks.
"And it's wearing a maid outfit," I comment.
"And what's up with its head? It looks almost like it has... lips," Hancock asks.
"That's not the only orifice it has," I comment.
Everyone stops and looks at me.
"I can see through stuff, remember, I can see that it has some... custom hardware inside, including some unique orifices," I say while avoiding eye contact.
"HAHAHAHA! So... So we came all the way down here to find a pervert's lab! Oh! Oh, that is rich!" Cait says while laughing her @ss off.
I didn't find it as funny as I could see things I would rather not see in that Assaultron. The design was... thorough.
"At least it's not a Protectron," comments Deacon.
We all turn to him with a What do you mean by that look.
"Cough. Well, um, during one of my missions, I came across a Protectron built for uh... pleasure," Deacon says.
"And how do you know that it was for pleasure?" asked Hancock.
"Uh... I plead the 5th," Deacon responds.
This time, even I can't hold it in and burst into laughter. Everyone joins in except Quiet, who is looking really confused and a little grossed out. She even takes a few steps away from Deacon. Deacon falls to his knees.
"I ain't perfect, boss! A man has needs!" Deacon said, trying to defend himself, but it only made it worse.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA! OH! OH GOD! YOU! You actually used one? And it was a Protectron!? They look like walking trash bins!" Cait said while rolling on the floor.
I was having issues breathing from all the laughter.
"Ugh, don't remind me, the damn thing nearly broke my legs," Deacon said.
Deacon's comment sent me into another laughing fit, and I couldn't stay standing anymore. We kept laughing for a while, but eventually our laughter died down and we recovered. Deacon at least took our laughing in good humor.
"Ah, that was great, but no judgment. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, I couldn't care less what you do in your free time. It's a free country, and I wouldn't fault anyone for doing that kind of stuff," I comment.
"Thanks, boss. It was really just that one time," Deacon said.
"Anyway, we should continue to explore this facility. From what I can see, it seems no one ever made it here. So it seems untouched. Or at least I think it is," I say.
We explore the facility and don't find much. Enough rations to last 3 people 50 years, a fully functioning water recycling machine, an oxygen recovery device, lots of chemical substances for experiments, and a large server and terminal for storing data. I was right that this facility was never used. Nobody managed to make it here. It was set up 3 months prior to the Great War. And the facility was made for a team of three scientists from a separate faction within the US Government. This faction was in the data I had collected from the satellite. They were basically the group that wanted to reduce the powers the President had accumulated over the Resource Wars. They were also opponents to the Enclave and everything it stood for.
As for the sexbot, it was put in here since two of the researchers were already in a relationship, but the other wasn't. So that 3rd wheel designed his own sexbot for company. She even had a name. Foxy. Which, with the name, made me realize that the Assaultron looks eerily like Funtime Foxy from that one video game series.
'That would explain the fox head and claws.'
It was also apparently quite intelligent. But either way, it wasn't my problem. I was planning on moving all the robots out of the lab and then having our research done here instead. At least the more delicate work and the things that Curie wanted to research. This lab was perfect for that kind of medical research. It was also quite secret. But that could wait for later, as the final item we found was vastly more valuable.
The facility had a direct link to an orbital weapons platform called ARCHIMEDES III. It seems like while part of this facility was meant to do medical and chemical research, they were actually built to house the ARCHIMEDES Projects. According to the terminals here, there were a total of 4 ARCHIMEDES Satellites launched. The president was obsessed with space lasers, so he kept making more.
ARCHIMEDES I was lost only 3 years after the initial launch. ARCHIMEDES II was still in operation according to the terminal. ARCHIMEDES III was also still operational and was just an improvement over the second iteration, making it so the beam lasted longer and impacted with more force. While also reducing the recharge time to 12 hours from 24 hours in the second version. ARCHIMEDES IV was also still operational but had several issues that needed resolving. The terminal said that it could store charges, unlike previous versions, and it fired with 3 beams in rapid succession while not losing any power. It could store up to 10 energy packages at once for a total of 33 beams in one go.
ARCHIMEDES III also had some issues that would see it deorbit after only a single attack. But since that was the case, I could purposely overcharge that last attack. I thought carefully about what I would want to use that attack on and thought of something right away. I connected with the Spy Satellite and pulled up the image of the massive Feral Ghoul Horde near NYC. It was still very large and, strangely enough, was just sitting there. But before I decided to use that as a target, I decided to look around first. And it seems like I was very lucky I did that, as I found an even larger Feral Ghoul Horde heading towards the NYC Horde.
'That's odd. Why would they act so... united?'
Strangeness aside, I had my target now; I just needed to start the overloading of the satellite. I also decided to use ARCHIMEDES IV on this larger horde. I knew that even with all that firepower combined, it was unlikely I could wipe them all out, but it would decrease their numbers massively. The massive horde was near Nashville, Tennessee, but hadn't entered the city yet, and seemed like it was coming from the South.
The satellite charging took 4 hours, but eventually, they had reached the maximum energy capacity they could handle. I entered the precise coordinates and aimed for the center of the horde. Then, with a deep breath, I pressed the fire button. The terminal started reporting critical failures in numerous systems, and the satellites were suffering crippling damage, but I didn't care. The old things were already in poor condition and could only be used perhaps one more time if I had used lower settings. But it would be better to use them in one final hurrah.
The spy satellite I was using gave me real-time imaging of the effects. At first, it was a blinding light, then smoke and dust. But when it cleared, I saw the massive horde had shrunk by around 70-80%. It was pretty great effects all things considered, and it seemed like my luck had just triggered something as the deorbiting satellite had hit just the right angle, combined with some space junk, leading them to crash right into the horde. The effect wasn't that crazy, but it still killed quite a few more Feral Ghouls.
'That should make it so, even if the hordes combine, we will only be dealing with at most half a million Ferals and not a million plus.'
The Spy Satellite was very useful, but it had its flaws, such as having a limited ability to get precise imagery. It wasn't built for such high-definition images. But that was okay.
The remaining info on the servers wasn't much. It mentioned that funding for an ARCHIMEDES V was distributed, and work began, but it wasn't said to be complete until 2079 at the earliest. I also couldn't connect with ARCHIMEDES II as it wasn't under this faction's jurisdiction. Instead, it was The Enclave and Poseidon Energy that had control over it. Which means I could only see that it was in operation. The facility also gave me a list of all other Satellites in operation. It wasn't much. Only 4, and I had control over 3 of them. ARCHIMEDES II was the only other satellite that I didn't control.
I was fairly confident that the facility was accurate in its estimation of what satellites were still functioning, as it matched my estimates and the Zetans' records, and finally, the facility was using data from observatories, satellite relay stations, and prewar databases to get a scan of all objects in space.
'I will need to keep an eye on that horde.'
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Author's Note:
So ARCHIMEDES III and onwards are all my own imagination, but I think it is kind of funny to imagine that a guy like Ronald Reagan gets to be president and funds a crap ton of ARCHIMEDES satellites to defend the US with lasers from space. As for the sexbot, I thought it would be funny, and Fisto exists, so an Assaultron version of that just seems even more likely. As for it being based on Foxy from FNAF, I figure, might as well. And while I was looking at famous stripper names, for the bot, Foxy was one of them. And no, the robot Deacon experimented with was not Fisto; it was his cousin Fista. My other idea for the ladder was the Dark Souls meme about going down a ladder with a metal cone hat. As for the First Snow War, it's called that for a reason. Just don't travel back in time and tell Rio that. I might expand on the future Snow Wars if you guys want to see that. Just let me know. Until next time, Ciao.