I pushed open the sliding glass door, the warm air hitting me like a second skin. The backyard was buzzing — splashes in the pool, bass from the outdoor speakers, Gabbie's voice floating from the lounge chairs like perfume I couldn't scrub off.
But I didn't look at her.
I went straight to Liv and Jackson, who were sitting on a double chair with their legs tangled and drinks sweating in their hands like it was just another summer afternoon.
Liv looked up when I dropped beside them. "You good?"
"Totally," I lied. "Kitchen was just… hot."
Jackson tilted his head slightly, studying me. "Or maybe it was that little moment in there."
I narrowed my eyes. "What moment?"
He smirked. "The River thing. And the Callum thing. And the way you looked like you were ready to throw that peach at someone's head."
I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling. "River's always like that."
"Yeah," Liv said, sipping from her can. "But Callum's not."
I leaned back against the cushion. "Don't do that."
"Do what?" she asked, all innocence.
"Read into everything like it means something."
Jackson shrugged. "You're allowed to want it to mean something."
"Even if he left me?" I asked softly. "Even if I was fourteen and he was eighteen and he knew it wasn't okay, even if I knew it wasn't okay… but still—?"
"Still," Liv said, "it was real."
I didn't say anything for a moment. Just watched the sunlight catch on the ripples in the pool. Somewhere behind me, River laughed too loud. Gabbie flipped her hair. And I felt like I was floating in between lives — the one where I kept pretending everything was fine and the one where I stopped pretending.
"I don't know what I feel," I admitted.
Jackson leaned forward a little. "Well, if it helps… River only flirts like that when he thinks someone else already has you."
That made me blink.
I turned my head. "And what about you?"
He grinned. "Me? I'm the charming decoy."
Liv laughed and flicked his shoulder. "He's serious though. Callum looked like he was going to explode."
"Yeah, well," I muttered, "he made his choice a long time ago."
But the words tasted off as soon as they left my mouth.