"Why are you two just picking at your food? You didn't fight, did you?"
At her aunt's words from across the dining table, Hae-won rolled her eyes toward Yoon Jae-ha, who was seated beside her. The scene from just moments ago replayed in her mind, leaving her speechless all over again.
Did he seriously just say he wanted to kiss me?
Just because he has a pretty mouth doesn't mean he can spout nonsense like that. Does he not know why we even came here? He knows perfectly well how ridiculous this situation is, yet he still says things like that?
"We didn't fight. Do we look like kids or something?" Jae-ha muttered, as if complaining, while Hae-won scoffed beside him.
"She's the one spouting nonsense. Her mouth's gotten her in more trouble than I can count," Hae-won shot him a mocking look.
"I already told you, I didn't mean it like that." he added, glaring at her.
"Oh, really? If you're so confident, why don't you just get your name written in the afterlife ledger while you're at it? Go ahead, cross the Samdo River and have fun being judged for forty-nine days. Sound exciting?"
"I told you earlier. You and I aren't in the same position."
Despite his small frame, sitting there in pajamas looking deceptively cute, he carried himself with surprising authority. No matter how much time passed, Yoon Jae-ha was still Yoon Jae-ha.
"Hae-won, don't do this. Just eat. The idiot probably hit his head in the bathroom this morning; he's been talking nonsense ever since. Try to understand him, okay?"
Even at her aunt's words, Jae-ha simply gave a short nod and went straight into his room. The way he casually disappeared, as if that room was rightfully his, made Hae-won's lips curl in disbelief.
Who told him to act like that?
"Want to kiss me?"
When she had practically peeled Jae-ha off of her, his delicate frame had fallen back like a rag doll. Hae-won stared at his disheveled hair, brushing it aside as she questioned him.
"What did you just say?"
She must've misheard. She had to have misheard. But Jae-ha's response crushed that small hope.
"Let's kiss. I want to, Hae-won."
"Are you insane? Don't you remember why we came back here? We came to undo that stupid first kiss, to forget it ever happened, and to just go back to being friends. Isn't that why?"
"You're half right, half wrong. I'm not like you."
Hae-won had been about to ask what exactly was different, but before she could, her aunt's voice called them both out of the room. Left with no choice, the conversation had ended there.
Different? What's different? You said you missed me. You were lonely without me…
That's the truth, isn't it?
As the door closed, Hae-won straightened her twisted posture from glaring at Jae-ha. She reached for some seasoned radish kimchi, but her aunt leaned in, whispering with a worried look.
"What's wrong with Hae-won? Is it because of the college applications?"
Ah, right… It was around this time they had submitted their early applications. She could still clearly recall how defeated she'd felt when Jae-ha applied to Hanguk University.
"What's wrong with women's universities? They're good schools too," Hae-won protested.
"I know, I know. But you wanted to go to Hanguk with her, didn't you?"
It wasn't that she particularly wanted to go to Hanguk. She just wanted to be at the same school as him.
"It's not that. We just had… a little disagreement, that's all. Nothing to worry about."
"Then why are you two acting like strangers when you used to be so inseparable?"
"Mom, seriously… When were we ever that inseparable? Just eat your food."
"Forget that. You—get up. Stop eating and go cheer up Hae-won."
Her aunt snatched away her spoon, making Hae-won clutch her chest in exaggerated shock.
I thought Aunt Mi-sook only knew how to scold with that back scratcher of hers, but turns out, her words hit just as hard.
"She's the one sulking alone, why should I be the one to go?"
"Since when has Hae-won ever been like this? She wasn't saying anything earlier, but this boy couldn't stop running his mouth."
"Didn't you say you liked it when I talked a lot?"
"Enough, brat! Just go talk to her! I'm heading to the market, so I want her in a good mood when I get back."
"This isn't a favor, it's a threat! If you keep talking like that, you'll think you're an award-winning actress or something."
"What did you just say?"
Oops. Her writer instincts had slipped out again. Her aunt's eyes narrowed, her expression darkening.
She jumped to her feet, rummaging around for something—Hae-won immediately realized it was the dreaded back scratcher. She started backing away cautiously.
"Alright, alright, I'm going! I'll talk to her, calm down!"
With that, Hae-won darted across the living room, slipped into the room, and shut the door quickly behind her. Pressing an ear to the door, she listened— the sound of running water from the kitchen meant her aunt wasn't coming after her.
Whew. Never thought I'd be grateful Aunt Mi-sook isn't my actual mom.
Brushing her palms off, Hae-won turned—and saw Yoon Jae-ha sitting on the bed, scowling, his eyes fixed on the window.
Why does he look so cute like that?
Even with that sulky, bratty expression, she found him adorable. Her heart skipped again—just like earlier.
Her heart was reacting strangely, and she knew it was because of him.
"Say what you were going to say earlier," Hae-won urged, sitting beside him.
What even are we doing right now? The absurdity of the situation made her laugh softly.
But Jae-ha remained silent, eyes still fixed outside.
"You said you're different from me. How?"
Finally, his eyes met hers, and her heart jolted. Her teeth tingled, and for some reason, she had the urge to bite something. It was such a weird sensation.
"Hae-won."
"Yeah?"
Biting her lip, Hae-won pressed her hand to her chest, trying to calm the ticklish, restless feeling there.
"We were never friends."
Her hand froze midair.
What?
They weren't friends? But they had been friends from the moment they were born.
Thanks to their mothers being close in the maternity ward, they'd practically grown up together. Their birthdays were even close—three days apart. They always celebrated together.
Then why…?
"What?"
"You might've seen me as a friend, but I've never thought of you that way."
"Hey!"
Hae-won shot to her feet, voice rising instinctively.
We weren't friends? Then what am I? What does that make me, trying to rebuild this friendship like an idiot?
"I don't get you at all. Fine, maybe for the last seven years, we weren't friends. Let's say that's true."
She paused, swallowing the lump in her throat.
"But before that… we were friends, weren't we? At least back then…"
Before she could finish, Jae-ha's expression twisted—like a fisherman lost at sea during a violent storm.
Her throat tightened, her breathing grew shallow. This wasn't the Yoon Jae-ha she knew. The Jae-ha she knew didn't make faces like that.
"To me, you've always been…"
To you, I've always been what?
"…a woman."
"…"
"You've always been the only one for me."
"…What?"
Hae-won gawked dumbfoundedly.
She thought hearing they weren't friends was the most shocking thing—but this? This was worse.
And he just dropped it so casually, like it meant nothing. Not once, but twice. No time to process, no breathing room.
"What… are you saying? Yoon Jae-ha, don't do this."
Yeah, this wasn't right.
If you felt that way…
"It was curiosity. Kissing you made me realize we can never be more than friends."
You can't say things like that to me.
"You told me, remember? That we couldn't be more than friends. That the kiss meant nothing. And now you say this? What's with you?"
"…I'm sorry."
"Sorry?"
His calm apology sent anger boiling in her chest.
For the past seven years, she had replayed his words over and over.
Why couldn't they be more than friends? Why had they run off into that alleyway together?
"It was a mistake. I just wanted to understand my feelings for you."
If they hadn't kissed, would they still be together?
"I'm sorry. Maybe it's better if we pretend nothing happened—for both of us."
Why had she fallen for him? If she hadn't, she wouldn't have to feel this kind of pain.
"Sorry? Then why did you do it? Why did you kiss me back then?"
She stepped closer, demanding an answer.
Slowly, Jae-ha stood and gently took Hae-won's large, trembling hand in his.