"There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven, I'll tell you the truth but never goodbye." -T.S.
I finally got dressed while Justin snuck back into his room, hoping no one would catch him slipping through the hallway with just a towel around his waist. Sleep pressed heavily on me, but I knew if I didn't go downstairs, suspicions would rise. So, I threw a hoodie over my emerald green bikini and headed down.
Voices carried from the kitchen as I descended the steps, Marshall, Dani, Hannah, and Mallory were gathered around the island, chatting over their morning coffee. Marshall noticed me first, waving me over.
"Good morning, August. Want some coffee? Something to eat?" he asked, rising from his stool.
"Yeah, I'll take some coffee please! I'm not really hungry." I slid onto the stool between Hannah and Mallory, but the moment I settled, Dani's eyes narrowed at me. I forced myself to ignore it, turning to Hannah with a bright smile. "Good morning."
Marshall handed me a steaming mug and a plate with toast, scrambled eggs, and a few pieces of bacon.
"I know you said you weren't hungry, but we just got off the phone with the captain, and despite the storm earlier, we're cleared to go on the boat. So eat up." He took his seat again.
I was starving after my shower activities, but I didn't want to seem too eager, so I nodded in thanks and took a tiny bite.
"I know Hunter is with Nancy, Jacob, and Allie, but does anyone know where Justin is?" Hannah asked, scrolling through her phone.
Marshall, Dani, and Mallory all turned to look at me. My stomach twisted as heat crawled up my neck. I took a slow sip of coffee, pretending not to notice their stares. Thankfully, Hannah didn't look up.
"His door was still closed when I walked by," I offered casually. "He's probably still sleeping." I forced a soft smile, hoping she didn't catch the anxiety creeping in.
"Yeah, I texted him earlier and haven't heard back. We were supposed to go on a night walk, but he said he was too tired. Hopefully, we can go tonight." Her smile was so bright, so unshaken.
And it tore me in half.
Moments ago, I was tangled up with him, holding him hostage from her. She deserved his undivided attention. So why couldn't I just let him go?
"So, Auggie! What did you end up doing last night? I noticed you turned in early," Dani asked, raising her mug to take a slow sip.
I knew she'd catch on if I lied, but I didn't think she'd call me out in front of Hannah. Still, my pulse kicked up. I took a few more bites of food, trying to buy myself time.
I cleared my throat before finally answering. "I literally came back, and knocked out. Then I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep so I decided to shower. I still feel exhausted, the time difference is kicking my ass."
Dani hummed into her cup. "Yeah, you do look really tired. Almost like you didn't sleep all night…"
A slow, twisted smile curled at her lips. She knew. But she wasn't going to call me out at least…not yet.
Mallory tilted her head, her smile edged with something sharper. "That makes sense. I thought I heard you earlier, so I knocked on your door before I came down, but you didn't answer. I did hear the shower running, though must've been when you were in there."
Her words were casual, but her eyes? They knew too much.
The world felt like it was closing in on me for a moment. From embarrassment, and disbelief that I was never cautious enough no matter how hard I tried to conceal what was going on.
Before I could dwell on it, footsteps sounded on the stairs.
Justin.
Fully dressed. Hair still wet. I prayed no one would say a word.
A chorus of "good mornings" rang out from everyone except me. I kept my eyes down, knowing that if I looked at Justin, Dani and Mallory would only get more suspicious.
"Good morning, sunshine. You look well-rested and freshly showered," Dani said as Justin gave her a hug. He moved to Hannah next, wrapping his arms around her.
"Morning, everyone. Yeah, I just woke up and needed a quick shower," he said, his gaze flicking to me. Then, as if he couldn't help himself, he winked.
I rolled my eyes but didn't smile back. This time, I just looked away.
"We're getting ready to head out to sea. You coming?" Marshall asked, pouring Justin a cup of coffee.
"Uhm, yeah. Is everyone tagging along? Where's the rest of the gang?" Justin took the cup, glancing around.
Hannah stood, offering him her seat, but he shook his head. Instead, he stood behind her, his hand resting lightly on the back of her chair. A small smile spread across her face. "The other group went into town earlier, so it's just us."
I took a sip of coffee, then set my mug down. "I might stay behind. I have some emails to respond to, and I could really use some extra sleep."
Truthfully, I was exhausted. Pulling an all-nighter wasn't in the plan, and now I was dealing with the consequences.
Dani turned to me, eyes narrowing. "Nope. Bring your damn laptop—you can work and sleep on the boat. We're not leaving you behind." She raised her eyebrows like she was daring me to argue. A very mom thing to do.
I huffed, knowing I had no choice. "Fine."
As I took another sip of coffee, I sighed internally. I'm going to need so much more of this.
I stirred my food around on my plate, no longer hungry, just wanting to lie down. Around me, everyone was hustling to get ready, their energy a sharp contrast to the exhaustion weighing me down.
"You look sleepy," Justin whispered, leaning against the counter beside me.
I turned to him, instantly met with his signature smirk. He knew why I was tired. He was the reason I was tired. I rolled my eyes, giving him a light push, but the smile that cracked through was impossible to stop. Grabbing my plate, I tossed any remnants of food and washed my dishes, eager for a moment alone.
Upstairs, I barely made it to my room before hearing footsteps behind me. I turned, spotting Mallory.
"Heeey, Auggie," she drawled, an eyebrow raised. "How was your shower?"
I shot her a playful smile, faking innocence. "It was fine. Thanks for asking."
She didn't buy it. Instead, she stepped closer, dropping her voice to a whisper.
"You didn't lock your door." Her tone was steady, unreadable. "When you didn't answer, I walked in and heard you guys."
My stomach twisted.
"Hannah was downstairs," she continued. "If you're going to keep up this charade, at least have the decency to do it when she isn't here."
I didn't have to look at her to know she was serious. My jaw tightened as I turned toward my door. She's right. I know she is. But for some reason, her words rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it wasn't what she said maybe it was that I hated how true it was. I wasn't mad at Mallory for pointing it out. I was mad at the situation. At myself. At the fact that I couldn't seem to stop. But I didn't have the energy to unpack all of that right now, so instead, I just shook my head and slipped into my room.
I grabbed a pair of shorts and threw them on, stuffing my backpack with a few essentials. My laptop and charger, some sunscreen, and sunglasses all before heading downstairs. Everyone was already gathered, eager to get going.
"Okay, so how are we splitting the car ride?" Justin asked, grabbing two sets of keys.
"I don't mind going with you, Justin," Hannah said, a soft smile forming on her face.
Marshall plucked the other keys from Justin's hand. "Alright, so you two take the other Jeep. Mals, Auggie, what car do you want to go in?"
"You guys are stuck with me!" Mallory grinned, stepping closer to Dani.
I hesitated. Whichever car I chose would be its own kind of hell. If I rode with Justin, the awkwardness might actually kill me. But if I rode with the others, the inevitable questions might kill me.
"I'll go with you guys, Marshall. I need a good nap on Mallory's lap," I said, forcing a small laugh.
I shot a quick glance at Justin. He was already looking at me, but his expression gave nothing away. Stoic. Unreadable. And for some reason, that unsettled me more than anything else.
The guys packed the cars while the girls hopped in the seats. Moments later we were about to start pulling out of the driveway. I closed my eyes for two seconds before I felt my phone buzz.
Justin: "It's a shame you didn't ride with us. That would've made for an interesting ride. But you can't avoid the inevitable on the boat…"
August: "no texting and driving!"
Now I know I made the right decision. I knew he would make this way more difficult than it needed to be.
"How far is the marina?" Mallory leaned forward to ask Marshall, who was adjusting his mirrors.
"About forty minutes or so," he replied.
I shifted just enough to lean my head against the window, taking a deep breath as the scenery blurred past. My mind swirled with a million thoughts, but I begged it to let me rest just for those forty minutes. I had barely closed my eyes when Dani cleared her throat.
"August." Her tone was knowing, teasing. "You look a little too tired this morning."
I groaned, already sensing where this was going.
Mallory grinned. "I mean… I did knock on your door and heard the shower running. And I don't think you were in there alone."
I buried my face in my hands as Dani laughed. "Yeah, and judging by the way Justin came downstairs with wet hair, looking just as guilty, I'd say we have our answer at the mystery shower guest."
Marshall just shook his head, muttering something under his breath about staying out of it.
"That's not—ugh," I huffed. "You two are almost more insufferable than him." I rolled my eyes.
"So, you've officially ticked shower sex off your bucket list? How was it?" Dani teased. But when she turned to look at me, I could tell she wanted more than just a casual answer.
My cheeks burned at the memory. I tried to play it cool, but the smile creeping onto my face gave me away.
"It was wet, dangerous, and overrated," I finally said, keeping it vague.
Mallory scoffed. "I'm sorry but it did not sound overrated from what I heard." She wiggled her eyebrows and shooting a quick wink at me, meanwhile Dani had burst into laughter.
My jaw dropped. "Oh my god." I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it. At the end of the day, these were my girls and this was the only time I'd get to talk about it.
"August is having the time of her life!" Dani cackled between breaths.
Before I could respond, Marshall glanced at me through the rearview mirror, a knowing smirk on his face. "Not to add fuel to the fire, August, but was it you two who went outside in the middle of the night? I heard the front door open."
I smiled sheepishly, then pouted at him. Busted.
Dani turned to face me, squinting her eyes. "You're leaving out details! Give them to us! We have thirty minutes before all questions go unanswered!"
"Thanks a lot, Marshall," I shot him a playful glare before finally caving. "Fine. He woke me up when he got back, and we talked for a while. Then he had this grand idea to go on a night hike." I paused for a second, but I could tell I had them hooked, waiting for the rest. "We told ourselves sex was off-limits. So we went stargazing."
"Stargazing?!" Mallory exclaimed, her eyes wide. "Oh, he was begging to get in your pants with that one. Sex under the stars? I haven't even done that!"
"No! We didn't do anything! Sex was off-limits while we were stargazing, I swear! All night, we just talked and watched the sunrise. Then, like God himself was reminding us to stop, it started pouring on us." I let out a small laugh. "We ran back to the house soaking wet, and then, well… clearly, the stargazing and kissing in the rain worked out for him."
"Wait—back up," Marshall said, leaning forward with a grin, clearly enjoying the drama. "You didn't mention the kissing in the rain."
I groaned, my cheeks getting warm. "We may or may not have made out in the rain causing the shower fun to be well inevitable…Yeah Mals, you're right he knew what he was doing." It felt good to finally joke about it. It felt less serious, less doomsday this way.
"You know I think it was God telling you to stay away cause the rain cleared up! Look how blue the sky is." Dani said, and that caused everyone to laugh all over again.
The rest of the ride included more shared stories from the rest of them. I was an amateur in comparison but it was fun to hear about everyone's faux pas. We finally made it to the Marina where our boat was harbored.
When we finally made it to the dock, we couldn't help but stare at the massive yacht, sleek and white, its windows gleaming under the sun, giving off an almost unreal shine. It wasn't just a boat; it was the Sea Serpent, a floating palace. I couldn't even imagine trying to work or sleep on this dream boat. Eagerly, we made our way to the side of the yacht, where the captain was waiting. He greeted us with a friendly smile as he helped each of us board, our excitement building with every step onto the luxurious deck.
The crisp sea air filled my lungs, shaking off the last remnants of exhaustion just enough for excitement to take over. We all gathered on the middle deck as the captain walked us through the safety breakdown. Once he was finished, the crew brought out a few bottles of champagne. Of course, it's champagne. I laughed to myself.
Dani popped open a bottle, the cork flying as she started pouring glasses. A quick, cheerful "Cheers!" rang through the boat. I tilted my glass just enough for the liquid to touch my tongue and instantly regretted it. Yup. Still don't like it.
Despite how drained I felt, I was actually enjoying myself. Relaxing, letting the sun warm my skin, and listening to the steady rhythm of the waves. Every once in a while, though, I'd steal a glance at Justin, only to catch him already looking at me.
I knew I couldn't end up alone with him tonight. Mallory was right I had to have at least some decency for Hannah. So every time he and Hannah found their way into whatever space I was in, I'd excuse myself and move somewhere else after a few minutes.
Until, finally, he caught me alone.
I was stretched out on the tanning deck, eyes closed behind my sunglasses, when suddenly a shadow blocked the sun.
"Hey, August. You soaking up the sun?" His voice was casual as he took the seat next to me and peeled off his shirt.
I let out a small sigh. "I was hoping to sleep, but I can't seem to get a minute alone." I turned my head slightly, glaring at him over the rims of my sunglasses.
"Is that so? You sure you're not just avoiding me?" He tossed his shirt at me, the fabric landing square on my face. I yanked it off and threw it back at him, but it missed completely.
Justin smirked. "Don't start something we can't finish, August. Especially after this morning. They'd get suspicious if we came out of one of the rooms together."
I turned my head away, hoping he didn't catch the smirk forming on my lips or the heat creeping onto my cheeks.
"I wouldn't need to avoid you if you'd stop showing up everywhere I'm at." I laughed, hoping I sounded as confident as I wanted to feel.
Justin shot me a playful glare. "August, you really think I'd go out of my way to be wherever you are? Just to make things unbearably uncomfortable for you?"
I turned to face him again, this time with a smile. "That's exactly something you would do. But joke's on you I'm not uncomfortable. Just exhausted."
I started to turn away, but his gaze didn't waver. If anything, it was heavier now.
"I thought red looked good on you," he murmured. "But this green… my god." His voice was barely a whisper.
His eyes traveled down my body, slow enough that I felt the heat of his attention, before he suddenly shifted away. Like he needed to put space between us.
For once, he looked flustered. Not his usual confident smirk, just a brief moment of hesitation.
"Fuck," he whispered under his breath. His eyes traveled back to me, his smirk was now a soft smile. He tapped his fingers lightly on his knee, his mouth opened and closed like he wanted to say something but couldn't.
I frowned slightly, watching him. That was… different. Usually, he had a quick comeback, a teasing remark, something to keep me on edge. But now, he just sat there, quiet. Considering.
"If you don't mind, I'm going to close my eyes now," I said, turning away, adjusting my bathing suit. I could still feel his gaze on me, lingering. Like he was trying to figure something out.
"I'll see you around, kid." He stood up from his lounge chair and disappeared down the steps.
I sat for a moment, thinking to myself how strange that was. But I couldn't dwell too long on that interaction before someone else appeared. Great, I'm never going to get my nap.
Dani walked up the steps just seconds after Justin left, her brows lifting as she glanced between me and the direction he disappeared. "Hi, sunshine." Her voice was light, but her eyes were sharp. "I hope I didn't, uhm, interrupt anything…?"
I looked at her through the rim of my glasses and smiled. "Nope. He just came to annoy me for a minute."
She didn't sit right away, just studied me for a second longer, then let out a hum. "Huh."
I frowned. "Huh, what?"
Dani smirked. "Nothing. It's just… he looked like he had something to say."
I shrugged, pretending to be indifferent, but the words sat with me. Did he?
We sat in silence for a second longer until we heard the sound of distant laughter. It caught both of our attention and we sat up slightly, catching a glimpse of them through the glass rails.
"So how do you feel about seeing that?" Dani pointed at Hannah and Justin who were on the deck below us. I stared at them for a moment. Hannah brushed his arm lightly after he said something that made her laugh. The smile on his face was genuine and not the sly smirk he often shares with me. Seconds later I see him looking around like he was searching for something. How did I actually feel about that? I asked myself.
"Awful," I admitted, "but not for the reasons you think. I just… I feel guilty."
She leaned closer to me. "What do you feel guilty about?" She asked.
I sat there quietly for a moment. Really thinking about what to say. Whether to tell her everything or maybe just a sprinkle. I heard Hannah's laughter again in the background and I knew it was time to open up to someone other than Justin.
"I feel guilty smiling to her face but wanting to fuck him in the same breath. I feel guilty for liking sex so much. I feel guilty because I know we have to stop, but I don't want to. Erik flies in tomorrow and things would get even messier if we continue doing what we're doing. Justin… just makes it so damn hard. He tells me to bend over and before he could get the words out I'm already bent." Neither of us could help but laugh at how ridiculous that sounded, but it was the truth. It was my truth. She stared at me for a split second, really letting my words simmer in her.
"You can't feel guilty for liking sex. That's normal and he's clearly doing the job if you went from waiting for marriage to doing the splits before he even asks. I understand the guilt about Hannah and Erik but none of you guys are exclusive right?"
"Erik and I had one date. And I really like him but we aren't exclusive. Them two? I don't know. I don't ask questions but I know he was going to ask her out while we're here."
"Sex is great, Auggie but it does get complicated when you have sex with friends. Especially life altering, earth shattering sex. I've been there and done that. Half the time it doesn't work. Someone always gets burned. Make sure it's not you that does. You need to be harder to get for him, you should have all the power. Cause right now he has you exactly where he wants you." Dani's words hit hard, but I didn't push them away. Not yet.
I let out a breathy laugh, shaking my head. "I hear you, Dani. I really do. And I know you're probably right I just don't know how to make it stop."
"Maybe you don't have to stop completely just yet," she said, nudging my shoulder. "Just don't let him be the only one calling all the shots."
I nodded like I understood, like I wasn't still tangled in my own mess of feelings.
But later, as I made my way downstairs, I saw him again. Justin.
He was standing by the railing, drink in hand, talking with Marshall, but the second his eyes landed on me, he did something so small, so insignificant, that it shouldn't have mattered.
He tilted his head ever so slightly, a silent beckon.
And without thinking, without hesitation, I moved toward him.
I caught myself halfway there, Dani's voice echoing in my mind. You should have all the power. Right now, he has you exactly where he wants you.
I slowed my steps, forcing myself to turn toward the bar instead. I wasn't running from him. I was just making a different choice. For once. I turned to look at him for a brief second and his eyes met mine. Confusion written on his face but I didn't turn back. I kept moving forward to the bar where Mallory and Hannah were sitting.
"Hi ladies," I greeted them as I took the seat facing them. They both offered me a quick smile.
"Hi Auggie! Where have you been? I feel like I haven't seen you all day." Hannah beamed at me. I felt my stomach contort slightly, all the moments I shared with Justin flooded me. But I gained my composure quickly, hoping she didn't see the crack.
"I've been trying to catch a quick nap but I don't think that's happening any time soon." I nodded my head and laughed slightly.
"We are in paradise! You should be tanning naked, not sleeping!" Hannah laughed at her own words. I shifted my eyes to Mallory who smirked and quickly took a sip of her bright blue drink, hiding what we both felt.
"I don't know about all that. Topless? Big maybe." I responded reaching over for the drink the bartender handed me. The ocean breeze picked up slightly, the shift in wind causing goosebumps to form all over my body. Seconds later, almost as if the wind itself brought him over, Justin appeared. He lightly placed his hands on Hannah's shoulders and he had his knowing smirk spread across his face.
"So what are you ladies talking about?" He asked.
"Naked tanning." Mallory immediately answered knowing how flustered I would get. And she was right. I could feel myself turning red. Hannah took notice and pointed it out.
"Oooooh Auggie, you're blushing a little." She smiled and brushed my hand with hers. I could feel Justin's eyes burning a hole through me but I didn't face him. Instead I took a sip from my drinking hoping it'd cool me down and if worse came to worse I would just play it off.
"In my defense I'm sunburnt so I'm naturally red right now! And it wouldn't be the first time I did something wild like that!" My voice came out shakier than I intended but she didn't catch it.
Hannah's eyes widened with curiosity. "Spill!"
"August here had never gone skinny dipping so with a little push from Dani she bared it all out the second night here." Mallory said as she wiggled her eyebrows to me.
"I would bare it all with a body like that!" Hannah giggled as she took a drink. The guilt in my chest constricted as I looked up at Justin for the first time since he walked over. He stared at me intently, all knowing, like he was remembering what I looked like naked again. And there it was again. He knew exactly what to do to make me want him. I had to stop myself, to look away. So I did. I rolled my eyes playfully and brought myself back to the conversation.
"You're one to talk! You're actually perfect." I smiled at Hannah and we drifted off into conversation. Justin lingered for a moment longer. Stealing glances every once in a while but I paid little mind, until he finally walked away.
Around 5pm the staff had laid out a huge spread of fresh seafood for us to dig into. I piled my plate with crab salad, lobster tails, and a few other random seafood items. I wanted to try a little of everything. I ate until I was stuffed, as did everyone else. We lazily sat around the table until Dani, being Dani, pulled out a little tube with two-toned popsicle sticks. She had a wide grin on her face, which could only mean one thing.
"Game time!" Dani shouted. Everyone's groans matched, and her laughter cut through it all.
"Okay, so the rules of the game are simple," Dani explained, holding up the tube. "You pull a stick and ask anyone in the group to answer the question on the stick. Or, if they plead the fifth, they take a shot. The pink ones are tame, while the blue ones are… risqué. Everyone good with that?"
We all nodded reluctantly, the anticipation buzzing in the air.
"I'll go first," Dani said, pulling out a stick. She read both sides and smirked, then shifted her gaze to Mallory. "Okay, Mallory. What's one of the wildest things you've tried in bed?"
I leaned in, my eyes darting between Mallory and Dani. Mallory shifted uncomfortably, fidgeting with the drink in front of her, before finally admitting, "Handcuffs… probably handcuffs."
A ripple of laughter went around the table as she grabbed the tube and pulled out a blue stick. Her eyes briefly met mine before shifting to Hannah. "Okay, Hannah, this question is… interesting," Mallory said, her smirk growing. "What's the kinkiest thing you're into?"
Hannah flushed immediately, looking around at the group, but finally offered, "Well, I think I'm pretty vanilla, but I like getting my hair pulled during sex." She giggled, taking a sip from her glass. She took a quick glance at Justin.
I shifted forward, noticing that Justin had been watching me the entire time. I met his gaze for a brief second before hearing Hannah call my name.
"Auggie!" she called, clearly amused. "I'm so sorry, I pulled a blue stick. But have you ever been caught in the middle of having sex?"
I bit my cheek to stop the laughter that wanted to escape. Mallory and Dani both silently chuckled, and I couldn't help but feel my cheeks burn. "Uh, unfortunately, yes," I said, my voice coming out shakier than I wanted.
"Oh my gosh, we need to know what happened!" Hannah leaned forward, practically bouncing in her seat.
I hesitated for a moment, but the teasing looks from Mallory and Dani made it impossible to back out. "Well, Mallory actually walked in on us… me and some guy I was casually hooking up with. It was definitely mortifying." I let out a small, restrained laugh and glanced at Justin, who seemed absolutely entertained by the whole thing.
When the group settled down, I reached over to grab a blue stick. The question was kinda scandalous, and I felt the urge to have a little fun. I hesitated for a moment, the group looking at me with expectant eyes, before I turned to Justin, a playful smile tugging at my lips.
"Justin," I began, raising an eyebrow, "Where's somewhere you've always wanted to have sex?"
His eyes narrowed slightly, amusement flickering in them. He knew exactly what I was doing. I held my breath, watching his face closely as he took his time responding.
"That's a good question," he said, leaning back slightly in his seat. "If we're talking romance, I've always wanted to do it under the stars, under a full moon. But if it's more casual… definitely on a balcony, just rough and..." He trailed off mid sentence.
My heart skipped, and I realized just how intensely his eyes had locked onto mine. For a split second, it felt like it was just the two of us, a pulse of tension hanging in the air. I didn't break the stare, but I felt the heat in my cheeks.
The table burst into laughter, snapping me out of the trance. It was his turn now and he reached for the tube from my hand. His hand grazed mine for a second. He pulled out a pink colored stick. He looked around the room before stopping on me. There was no way he would make it so blatantly obvious that we were pushing each other's boundaries with everyone around. But I was wrong. His smirk said it all.
"August, since you got to hear about me. Let's hear about you." Everyone leaned in waiting to hear Justin's question. He cleared his throat, "don't worry, it's pink so it's tame. But what's the wildest thing you've done to get what you want out of a guy?" Everyone's eyes turned to me, I could feel heat rising in my chest. I had to play it cool. Like him undressing me with his eyes right now didn't burn a hole straight through me.
"I wouldn't say wildest… but the best way to get what you want out of a guy? It's easy. You get naked." I matched his smirk, and he gave me a knowing nod. The group just laughed and Marshall gave me a thumbs up while Dani elbowed him.
"I guess I'll pick again." I grabbed a pink stick and looked over to Dani. "What's the most romantic thing someone has done for you?"
Dani grinned mischievously as the question landed on her. She thought for a moment as she looked over at Marshall who was staring at her gleefully.
"Well," she began, leaning back in her chair, "Marshall once surprised me with a picnic on the beach. Complete with candles, soft blankets, and my favorite food." She paused for a second, letting the memory settle in her mind. "It was just the two of us, the ocean, and the moon overhead. It felt like he'd planned it for ages, even though I knew it was spontaneous for him. The best part? He went out of his way to track down a specific bottle of wine I mentioned in passing, just because he wanted everything to be perfect. Not that he'll admit it, but he got a little nervous trying to make it all right."
The group laughed at her teasing tone, but there was a warmth in her voice as she looked at Marshall.
Marshall just smiled into his drink, as Dani caressed his neck gently. The love they have for each other is undeniable. I glanced over at Justin, who was watching them too, his eyes softer than usual. For a split second, I wondered what that could look like with him, but the thought disappeared as quickly as it came.
The game continued having us in laughing fits and embarrassing stories. I had to plead the fifth a few times to avoid any further trouble. By the end of the night, I was more than white girl wasted. I didn't know my left from my right. I barely remember how I made it to the car. The last thing I remembered was sitting in the back of the jeep with my head on Mallory's lap.
The next morning, I woke up in my bed, dressed in pajamas, with a nagging headache reminding me just how drunk I got last night. How did I get here? I tried to recollect anything, but my memory was hazy. I turned over in my bed to see if maybe I had company, but nope, just me and my thoughts. My head spun slightly, like I was still on the yacht. I reached for my phone and checked the time. 6:20 a.m. Too early, but I knew I had to get up soon. Today was the day I picked Erik up from the airport.
My stomach twisted. Maybe from the alcohol. Maybe from the anxiety of Erik finally flying in.
I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom, hoping my stomach would settle. No luck. I was still feeling too queasy to eat, but my thirst was unbearable, so I made my way downstairs.
Mallory, Dani, and Marshall were already on the couch, drinking coffee and watching TV, looking far too alive for this early in the morning.
"Good morning, everyone," I croaked. My voice was hoarse, and they all burst into a quiet laughter.
"Morning, sunshine! How did you sleep?" Dani patted the open seat next to her, and I collapsed into it.
"What happened last night?" I groaned. "I don't even remember how I got to my room, let alone changed." I scanned their faces for answers.
"Justin actually carried you upstairs," Mallory said casually, taking a sip of her coffee. "We both helped you change, and you knocked out the second you hit the bed."
The thought of him carrying me or his hands on me, undressing me, sent a heat wave through my already overheated body. I cleared my throat, willing it away.
"Thank you," I muttered, moving past it. "Please tell me I didn't make a fool of myself. I was trying so hard to avoid direct questions last night. I may have pleaded the fifth a little too much." I let out a breathless laugh, but their blank expressions made my stomach drop.
"Honestly, no," Marshall said, though there was something unreadable in his smirk. "Each time you pleaded the fifth, you just went dead silent. I mean, on the drive home, you were talking some nonsense, but it was just the four of us."
Dani immediately smacked his arm, but the damage was done.
"Oh god." I buried my face in my hands. "What did I say? Please, I have to know." The anxiety was creeping in, fast.
"It wasn't anything crazy," Dani reassured me, though the mischievous glint in her eyes told me otherwise. "You just said you were nervous about Erik being here. And then, um… you went on a small—"
"Very small," Mallory interjected.
"—rant about how you want to have your cake and eat it too," Dani finished, sipping her coffee like she hadn't just detonated a bomb in my lap.
I blinked. "What does that mean?"
They all exchanged glances. No one wanted to be the one to say it. Finally, Marshall sighed and leaned forward.
"I won't sugarcoat it." His lips twitched like he was holding back a laugh. "You said, and I quote, 'I like Erik, he's so perfect for me, but is it so bad that I want to date him an fuck Justin too?'"
Silence. Then laughter. From them, not me. I grabbed a couch pillow and shoved my face into it, letting out a muffled, dying-animal noise. "I can't believe those words came out of my mouth. I am never drinking again."
"It's okay," Mallory said, rubbing my knee. "At least you're uh less confused now."
I lifted my head just enough to glare at her. "Oh yeah. So clear."
She just smiled. And I was officially never drinking again.
A soft knock at the back door pulled our attention. We all turned to see Hannah standing there, a mug in her hand. Marshall got up to unlock it, and she stepped inside, looking effortlessly put together despite still being in pajamas. Her hair was already styled, her face lightly made up, like she had a full night's rest and woke up ready to greet the day.
Meanwhile, I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the TV screen and almost laughed at the stark difference between us. My hair was knotted in a messy bun, last night's mascara smudged beneath my eyes, and I was pretty sure I still had morning breath. What did Erik or Justin even see in a mess like me?
I was so lost in thought that I didn't even notice Hannah speaking until the conversation went quiet and all eyes were on me.
"I'm sorry, I'm kinda out of it." I rubbed my temples. "Still feel kind of drunk."
Hannah chuckled, curling her legs beneath her on the couch. "I was just asking how you were doing. Justin dropped me off, he and I were going to hang out, but he said he wanted to come back and check on you first. He said you were pretty drunk and falling over." She laughed as she took a sip from her mug.
Oh god. My stomach dropped. "That's…embarrassing," I said with a sharp, forced laugh.
Hannah didn't seem to notice my discomfort. "Yeah, he was worried about you."
I swallowed, trying to push away the unexpected twist in my gut. "Yeah, he and Mallory helped me out last night. But I'm doing better." I waved a hand dismissively, then quickly latched onto something safer. "I'm just nervous about seeing Erik, so I guess I was trying to cope."
A half-truth. The kind I'd gotten too good at telling.
Hannah's face softened with understanding. "Oh, that's right! He flies in today. Are you picking him up?"
"Yeah," I said, checking my phone. The time made my heart kick. "Actually, I should probably shower and start getting ready. He lands in two and a half hours."
I stood, eager for an escape, and Marshall got up with me, handing me a set of keys.
"Take the gray Jeep," he said.
"Thanks," I muttered, already moving toward the stairs.
As I made my way to my room, my thoughts tangled with everything I was trying to avoid. I still wasn't sure what the hell I was doing.
One thing was certain I needed that shower.
I quickly undressed and stepped under the warm water, hoping it would wake me up and rinse away whatever haze still clung to me from last night. The heat soothed my skin, but my thoughts kept racing, spinning between Erik's arrival, Hannah's presence, and the way Justin had checked on me instead of staying with her.
I rushed through my routine, eager to give myself enough time to at least look put together. I didn't need to look as disheveled as I felt when I picked Erik up.
For at least ten minutes, I stood in front of my suitcase, mulling over what to wear before finally settling on a lilac short skirt and a matching halter-neck tank top. Cute but casual. Just enough to feel confident without trying too hard.
I dusted on a bit of blush, though my sun-kissed skin already had a natural flush, lightly filled in my brows, added a soft highlight, mascara, and a swipe of gloss. Simple. Effortless. The illusion of ease, even when I felt anything but.
Back in the bathroom, I plugged in the blow dryer, ready to tackle my damp hair, but the moment I switched it on, a sharp knock at my door made me pause.
I sighed, setting it down, and padded back to my room to unlock the door.
Justin.
He stepped inside without a word, and I locked the door behind him out of instinct, like we'd done this many times before. His eyes dragged over me, slow and assessing, his brow furrowing slightly as he lingered on my lips.
"Where are you going?" he asked, his voice full of amusement, his eyebrow raised. "To play tennis?"
I narrowed my eyes as he smirked and strolled to the edge of my bed like he belonged there, sitting down with ease. I hated how comfortable he felt in my space. Like it was his, too.
I rolled my eyes slightly. "I'm picking Erik up from the airport today."
"Oh that's right your boyfriend finally gets here today." His voice sounded teasing but his expression didn't match.
"He's not my boyfriend! But yes, so I'm getting ready." I made my way back into the bathroom, not letting him see he was getting to me. He followed right behind me and took a seat at the edge of the tub.
"I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay this morning. You uhm…were pretty drunk last night." His voice and his face matched his concerned tone.
"Yeah I'm okay. Thanks for helping me by the way." I offered him a tight smile.
"You're welcome, I hope it's okay that I helped you change. Mallory was there the entire time. I hope you don't think it was anything weird." His face twisted lightly but I couldn't read it.
"No I appreciate it, that bathing suit would've chaffed me badly so you two saved me from some discomfort." My smile was light this time, it was thoughtful of him, I mean for both of them to help me out. I grabbed the brush and continued brushing my hair.
"So you excited to see Erik?" His eyes were still fixed on what I was wearing.
"I'm a bit excited. And a little nervous." I responded.
His eyebrows pinched together. "What are you nervous about?"
"I don't know I haven't talked to him much since I've gotten here because I've been…a bit distracted." My eyes flicked to see his reaction. He nodded cautiously as his eyes traveled slowly back to my face. Heat crawled on my neck and suddenly the bathroom felt too small for the both of us.
"Distracted? Hmm. You have been pretty distracted." He stood up from the tub and walked closer to me. Closing the space between us. I could feel my heart palpitating hard. I turned to look at him towering over me. I knew where this was going.
Until Dani's voice rang in my head from yesterday's conversation. You should have all the power. Right now, he has you exactly where he wants you.
I cleared my throat. "I should finish getting ready. I have to leave in fifteen minutes." I quickly turned around before I could change my mind. I stared at him through the reflection of the mirror and he watched me with an intensity that made me a little nervous.
He leaned down and got close to my ear. "Have a good day with Erik. I'll see you later tonight." He whispered. Sending a hot chill down my spine. He needed to leave soon before fifteen minutes turned into thirty. I looked over my shoulder and met his face.
"Looking forward to it." Before turning back to the mirror. I could see him crack a little, his hands grazed my waist as his jaw twitched but he didn't say anything else. He hesitated a second longer before he finally left. I shook off whatever feeling he left me with and continued drying my hair.
I took one last glance at myself in the mirror and the insecurity I felt earlier around Hannah had silenced. My thoughts wandered. The thought about wanting to date Erik but still 'fuck' Justin on the side crept in, so ridiculous that I actually laughed. I don't know where 'drunk me' got that confidence.
I finally silenced my thoughts enough to get out of my room and I ran downstairs. Mallory, Hannah and Dani were in the kitchen cooking something up while Justin was sitting on the couch scrolling on his phone. He noticed I walked in and set his phone down briefly. He winked at me and went back on his phone. I just rolled my eyes and walked into the kitchen.
"You look cute! I made you an avocado toast so you can eat something before you pick him up." Dani handed me a plate and a glass of juice. "Eat please!"
I set the plate and glass down on the counter and took a bite, listening to the conversations around me but not joining in. My thoughts were elsewhere, on Erik, on Justin, on the mess I was walking myself into.
Once I finished eating, I grabbed the car keys off the counter and slipped on my shoes. "Alright, I'm heading out," I called over my shoulder.
"Drive safe!" Mallory said.