Kamishiro Shirou was a bit confused. He genuinely had no idea who Rize was. Was she someone famous? Why did everyone seem to expect him to know her?
Looking at Shiori's expression, he felt like he'd committed some unforgivable sin.
"Is she a relative? Why don't I have any recollection of her?"
Since Kanna mentioned inheriting the tea plantation, Shirou first thought through his entire family tree, but came up empty-handed. His family didn't even have many relatives to begin with!
Both his parents were only children, a rare thing. Shirou was certain of this memory—he couldn't possibly be mistaken!
Could it be that his grandpa or maternal grandfather had a second spring?
Holy crap, if that was the case, those two old men were way too impressive! But shouldn't they have at least told him about it?
Whatever!
It didn't matter. He'd just give a shout-out to the old men for being awesome!
"Alright, tell me—is it Grandpa or Maternal Grandpa?"
???
"What Grandpa or Maternal Grandpa? Kamishiro Rize, your little sister! She's already two years old!"
Pfft!
"What?!?!"
Shirou froze on the spot, his eyes gradually glazing over.
Not Grandpa or Maternal Grandpa… the awesome one was his own dad?
But…
How could he not know he had a little sister?!?
Damn old man!
This wasn't what "free-range parenting" was supposed to mean!!!
"Alright, guys, that's the situation!"
The atmosphere in Pab was unusually heavy. Aside from Iori and Kohei, who were already passed out, everyone else sat in a circle.
Shirou, with his fingers interlocked and supporting his chin, looked more serious than ever before.
The news was so sudden that even he, a man who'd lived two lives, was momentarily thrown off balance.
There was no other choice but to come back and consult his seniors!
Sure, they were usually a bit unreliable, but when it came to big matters, they were dependable. Now was exactly the time he needed them!
As for continuing to ask shiori about the family situation?
No way!
He'd already discovered he had a new sister—what more was there to find out?
Shirou was afraid that if he kept digging, he'd end up with a new brother too.
"So that's the deal. We get the gist of it."
"You're saying, Shirou, you haven't been home in years, and today shiori told you that you have a two-year-old sister, right?"
"Exactly!"
"And you had no idea?"
"Exactly!"
"Alright, one more question!"
"Are you *really* your parents' biological child?"
Everyone looked at Shirou strangely. How could someone not know their family had a new member?
"Of course I'm their biological child! I looked exactly like my mom when she was younger!"
Saying this, Shirou pulled out his phone to show a photo of his mom.
In the photo, a stunningly curvaceous woman was straddling her motorcycle… a red Ducati Superbike Panigale V4!
Super cool!!!
The starting price was at least 400 Fukuzawas!
He wanted one!
Azusa's eyes sparkled when she saw the photo, staring intently at the red figure. The leather outfit, the beautiful woman, the motorcycle—she loved it all!
"Hehe, Shirou, I suddenly want to visit your house~"
"…Azusa-nee, calm down. The person in that photo is already 40—she's an obasan now."
Shirou handed her a tissue; she was practically drooling. It seemed Azusa-nee was a lost cause, but thankfully, he still had his reliable seniors!
"Well, that's a pretty cool bike…"
"But, Shirou…"
The two seniors weren't particularly interested in the motorcycle. Their builds weren't suited for it anyway. They were more curious about Shirou's mother.
"You can't really tell if you look alike from this…"
They pointed at the photo. While it was undeniably cool, the woman's face was completely covered by a helmet!
"…"
Shirou silently put his phone away. He'd forgotten that the photo was taken with his precious camera, which was back at home.
"This is the only photo I have for now, but Shiori can vouch for me!"
"It's true, Aunt Keiko has those same narrow eyes~"
"That settles it then!"
"Didn't expect you to actually be their biological kid, Shirou!"
"…"
Though they acknowledged him, for some reason, Shirou wasn't happy at all. Since when did having narrow eyes become the standard for proving he was their biological child?
In their eyes, narrow eyes were the real deal, huh!
…
"So, Shiroi, why didn't you tell me earlier?"
Shirou rubbed his aching head. To think his sister was born and he wasn't even there—what kind of big brother was he?
Wait a second…
This wasn't his fault, was it?
Shiori's expression turned odd. She recalled passing by the Kamishiro household and seeing the cheerful, lively scene… Suddenly, she felt a bit sorry for Shirou?
"I didn't expect you wouldn't know, Shirou-nii… Didn't you say you kept in touch with your family regularly?"
"I do keep in touch, but they never mentioned anything about a new sister! Every time that old man… wait!"
Shirou seemed to realize the root of the problem.
As mentioned before, Shirou's existence was essentially that of inheriting the tea plantation. His dad's attitude toward him was pure free-range parenting—just making sure he was still alive was enough.
In that case!
What happens when a still-virile man and a beautiful woman are left alone at home for so long?
The answer: a new sister!!!
His dad was the classic "prefers daughters over sons" type. To avoid Shirou coming back and disrupting their perfect little trio, it was entirely possible he'd done this on purpose!
(′?`)
Having figured it out, blood trickled from the corner of Shirou's mouth. No matter how he thought about it, he was the odd one out…
"I think I know what's going on… Hold on a sec."
Shirou turned away from the group, pulled out his phone again, and dialed a contact labeled "Damn Old Man."
*Beep beep beep~*
"Moshi moshi, this is Kamishiro. What's up? If it's nothing, I'm hanging up."
!!!
A flippant voice sounded in Shirou's ear. It was hard to believe this voice came from a stern-looking middle-aged man.
(?ò?ó)
"Damn old man!"
Shirou gritted his teeth. How could this guy be in such a good mood?!
"Oh, it's Shirou! Why're you suddenly calling your dad? Here to experience some fatherly love? You're 20 now—finally missing the joys of childhood? Dad's so touched…"
"…"
*Hiss!*
Shirou pulled the phone away and took a deep breath. He was afraid if he kept listening, he'd end up spouting some choice expletives.
"Damn old man! Don't you have something to tell me?!"
"Huh? What thing…
Oh, you already heard about your grandpa chasing after Grandma Uesugi and getting beaten up by old man Inoshita next door? That news reached all the way to Izu?!"
"Wait… hold on, did you just say something weird…"
Shirou clutched his head in agony. What kind of absurd things had happened back home in the years he'd been away?
If he remembered correctly, Grandma Uesugi was married, right…
Her husband didn't say anything, so why did old man Inoshita go beat up his grandpa?
Were the romantic entanglements back home really this messy now?
Shirou was almost curious about what happened next. "So, did Grandma Uesugi agree?"
"Nah, even if she agreed, what's the point? Her husband and old man Inoshita both objected."
"Wait, what was her husband's reaction?"
I mean, old man Inoshita went to beat up Grandpa for Grandma Uesugi—surely her husband must've noticed something.
"Don't even get me started. They've been neighbors for decades. Grandma Uesugi's husband trusts old man Inoshita completely. Right now, they're both chasing down your grandpa."
"…"
Decades of being neighbors, huh. Shirou felt like a massive green hat was currently perched on Grandpa Uesugi's head.
Here's hoping it's just neighborly affection (??ω??)
"Grandpa's in for a rough time, huh… No, wait! Damn old man, that's not the issue!!!"
He almost got sidetracked by this damn old man. He wanted to know about his sister, not his grandpa!
"Not that? Oh, did you finally start caring about the family business? Had a change of heart?"
"No! I'm just starting to care about the family's *population*! What's the deal with my sister?!?"
*Beep beep beep~*
Shirou stared at his phone screen, which showed the call had been disconnected, his face frozen.
That damn old man!!!
He dialed again. Now he was absolutely certain—this was all that damn old man's doing. That guy had deliberately kept him from coming home!
If Shiroi hadn't suddenly told him, by the time he wandered back home in a few years, his sister might already be in elementary school.
Didn't they agree back when he was a kid that the next child would be named Kamishiro Kuro?
What the heck was Kamishiro Rize? Were they planning to send her to Tokyo to eat something when she grows up?
The more Shirou thought about it, the more terrified he became. If he remembered correctly, in that gourmet anime, Kamishiro Rize had purple hair, didn't she?
And his mom just so happened to have purple hair too…
!!!
Damn old man, pick up the phone!!!
*Beep beep beep~*
"Sorry, the number you dialed is currently busy~"
(?ò?ó)
That jerk!
…
Meanwhile, in Chengdu's Taikoo Li, China
A middle-aged man wearing a panda T-shirt hung up his phone and let out a heavy sigh. "Ugh, how did that kid find out? I was planning to surprise him when he got home.
Now it's all ruined. The house won't have a moment's peace. Wait, that kid wouldn't take his sister to Izu, would he?"
The more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed. He knew his son all too well—the guy was totally capable of dragging his sister to school to show her off!
"Ugh, that little brat is such a hassle. Guess I'll just stay in China a bit longer!"
"Stay a bit longer? Darling, who was that on the phone?"
At that moment, a stunning purple-haired woman holding a two-year-old toddler appeared beside him, munching on an ice cream cone.
The sweet, creamy scent drove the little toddler wild.
"Mama, eat, want!"
That soft, adorable voice melted the hearts of onlookers stealing glances at the woman.
What an absolute little angel!
At the same time, they shot murderous glares at the man. How did *this guy* deserve this?!?
While the toddler's cute voice charmed everyone else, the woman was clearly unfazed. She bounced the little girl. "What's a kid eating this for? This is for grown-ups only!"
With that, she stuffed the entire ice cream cone into her mouth, completely oblivious to the psychological trauma she'd just inflicted on a two-year-old.
*Pout, pitiful~*
"Waa, eat… gone…"
The little girl's eyes welled up with tears. Her massive ice cream cone had vanished just like that. With no other option, the toddler leaned forward, trying to lick the leftover sweetness from her mom's lips.
"Eww, shameless."
The woman pushed the toddler away in and stuffed the girl's own hand into her mouth. "Eat this instead. You loved it when you were little."
(o Д o*)
The man was dumbfounded by this move. He knew his wife wasn't great at parenting, but letting the kid suck on her hand in public? That's unsanitary!
He quickly scooped up the poor toddler, who was on the verge of tears from her mom's bullying.
"Keiko, Rize is still so young. You've got to be more patient…"
"Tch, when her brother was her age, he was already bringing me snacks. Not like her, still stealing food from her mom!"
Keiko rolled her eyes at her husband, then found a spot to sit down. Her eyes gleamed as she opened her newly bought spicy rabbit head!
*Chomp!*
Mmm~
Rabbit head was delicious!
(.-ω-)
The man shrugged helplessly at his wife's behavior. Ever since they came to China, Keiko's mouth hadn't stopped moving.
And…
Little Rize's drool hadn't stopped either.
Seeing his daughter's greedy expression, the man quietly handed her a bottle. She really couldn't eat rabbit head!
He also passed his wife a cup of milk tea.
Handing over milk tea while his wife ate rabbit head? That's what a good man does!
He'd never admit it was because he got a beating last time for being too slow with the milk tea…
Keiko shot him a heart gesture~
Then she took a big gulp of the milk tea!
This rabbit head was a bit spicy~
*Gulp gulp gulp~*
Keiko somehow managed to drink milk tea with the gusto of downing a beer.
"Hah! Refreshing!
Oh, right, darling, who was that on the phone? New tea supplier?"
She asked curiously. They were in China for business, after all, though it wasn't a big deal…
(;?＿?)
"Oh, that? Just an insurance salesman."
"Insurance salesman?"
"Yeah, no need to bother with it…"
The man tugged nervously at his collar. Keiko had always assumed he'd told their son about his little sister.
If she found out the truth, he was done for!
Thankfully, he'd changed Keiko's phone number ages ago, and that kid had no idea!
*Bzzz bzzz bzzz~*
Just as the man was patting himself on the back for his cleverness, Keiko's phone started ringing!
Σ(っ °Д °;)っ
He whipped his head around, startled like a frightened bird.
"Mm… darling, answer it for me. I'm eating rabbit head."
Phew!
The man let out a huge sigh of relief. Thank you, rabbit head! Praise the rabbit head!
He grabbed his wife's phone and checked the number. Sure enough, it was his idiot son.
"…"
Hang up, block, delete call log!
A perfect three-hit combo!
"Hm? Why didn't you answer?"
"Haha, another insurance salesman. Don't worry about it. Hey, wanna go see pandas later?"
!!!
"YES, YES!"
Keiko, who'd been a bit suspicious, was instantly distracted by the thought of pandas~
…
Back on the other side
Shirou's mouth twitched uncontrollably as he stared at his phone.
He'd gone through so much trouble to get his mom's new number from his grandpa, and it was *still* a dead end?
That damn jerk!!!
"Failed, huh."
"Abandoned, huh."
"Poor thing…"
Everyone on the couch, having witnessed the whole ordeal, looked at Shirou with pity.
Some people thought they'd escaped their family, not realizing their family had abandoned *them*~
*Bzzz~*
Just as Shirou was debating whether to storm back home, he received a photo.
In the photo, his mom was chowing down on a rabbit head… but that wasn't important.
What mattered was that Shirou saw her!
He saw his little sister, with purple hair just like their mom's, but thankfully, she hadn't inherited their mom's narrow eyes!
Those big, lively eyes made Shirou very satisfied. He'd always thought his mom, decked out in leather and riding a bike, looked a bit odd with her narrow eyes.
Good thing his sister didn't inherit them~
As for the old man in the photo?
Please, who was that? Just a tool, nothing more!
*Slap a mosaic on him!*
Hehe, his sister was so cute~
(づ︶ど)
"Come look, come look! Isn't my sister adorable?!"
Shirou passed his phone to the curious group. Now was the time to share!
"So cute~"
"Purple hair, wow!"
"Shirou's mom is so pretty too!"
"So jealous!"
"…"
Seeing everyone's envious expressions, Shirou's ego swelled. He was a big brother now—no need to be jealous of that idiot Kitahara anymore!
*Smirk!*
Since he now knew about his sister, it was time to tidy up the house.
That's right!
Since those two loved their little two-person world so much, Shirou decided he'd go back and take his sister with him. Otherwise, they'd probably mess up raising her!
o(*////▽////*)q
His sister, of course, should be raised by him~
He couldn't wait to get home!
*Bzzz~*
At that moment, his phone buzzed again, this time with a single message.
"Oh right, we're in China right now, and we probably won't be back for a while. But don't worry, we'll definitely bring you some gifts when we return, hahahahahaha!"
Crack!
Cracks spread across the phone screen.
Kenjirou Kamishiro, you bastard!!!!!!