(≧∀≦)
As for Shiro—
After hearing the whole story, he could only feel that this world was way too small.
Running into this kind of coincidence even after going abroad… that's some real lottery-winning level luck.
Of course, this was also largely due to his mom's extreme extrovert tendencies.
Shiro had a sneaking suspicion that if it had been any other cute girl, Keiko would still have tried to befriend her and bring her home "just to meet."
Poor Inui probably hadn't realized yet—she wasn't the only "one."
But then again, wasn't this better?
Seeing his mom and Inui getting along so well, Shiro's lips curled into a smile.
That is—until he saw the "gift" his mom brought back for him.
"This is a little something I picked up for you!"
Looking at the Aqua figure in his hands, Shiro fell into deep thought.
His mom had gone all the way to China—no food, no fun souvenirs, just brought back an Aqua figure?!
"Heehee~ What do you think? It's an official licensed version!"
Keiko didn't see anything wrong—in fact, she looked quite pleased with herself.
"…."
Official, huh…
Staring at the Japanese text on the packaging, Shiro couldn't bring himself to feel happy.
Never mind the whole "buying a Japanese figure in China" issue—if she had at least picked a different character, he might've been able to accept it…
But he already had more than enough Aqua in his room!
Looking at his mom's eager, expectant gaze, Shiro had no choice but to accept the gift with tears in his eyes.
Thankfully, Inui handed him a comforting gift—a cute flower-shaped plushie!
Now that touched Shiro's heart. He nearly wanted to scoop Inui up and shower her in kisses.
Next up—
It was Kenjirou's turn!
Shiro looked to his dad, full of anticipation. Come on, they were father and son—surely he brought something back?
Surely he wouldn't come home from overseas empty-handed?
And yet—
Kenjirou just quietly looked away.
Maybe feeling guilty about the silence, he turned his head back and made a heart with his fingers.
Then blew Shiro a kiss.
Σ_(꒪ཀ꒪」∠) Vomit—
At that moment—
Shiro nearly threw up. What the hell was I expecting?
Off to the side, Keiko chuckled. She was long used to the weird love-hate relationship between this father and son.
When Shiro was younger, the two of them used to "fight" over her all the time.
Keiko snuggled up and wrapped her arm around Shiro's neck.
"Now that I've given you your gift… where's my gift, huh~?"
Miss Keiko wanted a present!
"Of course I have one!"
Shiro, knowing his mom's personality like the back of his hand, had obviously prepared something.
He handed over a voucher.
"Kawasaki 100 yen discount coupon"
(°ヘ°;)
Keiko stared blankly at the coupon in her hand, then looked suspiciously at Shiro—was this a mistake?
But Shiro looked back with nothing but sincere confirmation.
Instantly—
Keiko decided it was time to unleash her full maternal authority!
She pounced on Shiro and pinned him to the ground.
"You heartless little brat! I buy you an expensive figure, and this is what you give me?! No way! This doesn't count!"
"Wait, wait, don't pull my face! I'm sorry, Mom! I'll give you the real one!"
Under the fierce glare of Keiko, Shiro finally brought out the real present—a Kawasaki H2R motorcycle.
Of course, it couldn't be presented right away—it had to be picked up in Tokyo.
Upon hearing what her gift was, Keiko's eyes lit up. She repeatedly asked Shiro for confirmation.
Once she confirmed it was real, she tackled her son again—this time showering him in kisses like a torrential rainstorm.
The pose was about the same as when Shiro kissed Rize chan earlier!
You see, Keiko had been wanting a new motorcycle for a long time—and more importantly, her son had grown up! He could now afford to buy such an expensive gift!
There's nothing that makes a mother prouder than realizing her son has become successful.
And it wasn't like they had ever given Shiro some huge allowance—he had earned all this on his own!
"All right, all right, Mom—stop kissing me. My face is all wet…"
Keiko pouted, "Hmph, now you're complaining? You used to love it when you were little! And I wouldn't even kiss your dad, you know!"
"..."
Suddenly called out, Kenjirou silently raised his teacup and sipped.
Judging by the vein bulging on his hand, he was not as calm as he appeared—
He kept muttering, "I could've gotten a gift too, you know…"
Of course, if Mom got a gift, then little sister couldn't be left out.
Shiro pulled out a pile of kid-friendly snacks from his bag!
He was going to give his little sister full "snack freedom!"
Although…
Judging by the sparkly look in Keiko's eyes, not much might actually make it into Rize chan's mouth…
As for Inui—
Shiro hadn't expected to run into her at home, so he hadn't prepared anything ahead of time.
He leaned in and whispered, "I'll make it up to you tonight."
They'd go soak in the hot springs at the Kitahara family's place!
But it seemed Inui misunderstood what he meant—she blushed and gave him a playful, shy glare.
Next—
The pressure returned to Kenjirou!
With a smile, Kenjirou leaned in and asked:
"So, my dear son—where's my gift?"
Good.
Very good.
Classic Kenjirou!
After blowing him a kiss earlier, now he shamelessly came to ask for a gift.
But this time—Shiro did have something for him.
With a sinister smile, he said:
"Of course I have one! Absolutely!"
Several magazines with risqué covers—*extremely* risqué, featuring legal lolis!
And a USB drive. When Shiro handed it to his dad, he flashed a knowing "guy" look.
"…"
The gifts were so explosive that Kenjirou didn't react at first.
Only when his brain caught up did he realize he'd instinctively tucked them into his arms?!
(.;゜;:益:;゜;.)
In that moment
Kenjirou felt a murderous aura beside him—his wife's eyes were open!
"W-What's this?"
"Of course, it's the magazines you asked me to bring! Last time we talked, didn't you say you wanted these but couldn't find them locally? I brought them specially for you."
When had he ever said that?!
Seeing his son's smug grin, Kenjirou knew he'd been set up with a childish, despicable trick!
The problem was, it was hard to explain, and Keiko was already mad!
*Calm down, Kenjirou, stay calm. You've got this!*
Forcing himself to cool off, Kenjirou saw this as a test of who held more weight in Keiko's heart—him or that brat!
He'd known Keiko two years longer than that punk—how could he lose?!
With that, Kenjirou relaxed, trusting Keiko to be reasonable.
After all, she was only pinching his thigh, not slapping his face, right?
There was still hope!
*Smack~*
Kenjirou tossed the items onto the table, giving them a disdainful look. "Hah, no way. Anyone who knows me knows I'm into mature women like Keiko!
Ever since marrying her, I've outgrown this lowbrow stuff!
Trying to frame me?
My son, you should've nailed my *real* tastes first!"
Kenjirou's speech grew impassioned, radiating righteousness.
Though his eyes kept darting to the magazines.
Internally, he was freaking out.
*'Damn, damn! How does this brat know my true tastes?!'*
*'AHHH! That cover girl's hot—I wanna look!'*
After Kenjirou's fervent defense, Keiko's expression didn't change much, but her grip on his thigh loosened.
True, she *was* the mature type. Logically, Kenjirou preferred that—why would he ask his son for loli magazines?
Maybe the kid bought them himself.
Keiko's gaze turned odd as she looked at her son.
Of course, she was an open-minded mom. She didn't care much about her son's kinks or risqué magazines.
Even when Shiro was ten and into this stuff, she was only briefly shocked.
Ten's normal. Some kid named Nohara Shinnosuke was way wilder, right?
What boy *hasn't* looked at these? Heck, even she enjoyed them sometimes.
But…
Was it okay for her son to whip these out in front of Inui chan?
Keiko glanced at Inui.
Inui had given up, playing ostrich and frantically feeding snacks to Rize chan in her arms.
Rize could barely keep up with Inui's feeding speed.
Risqué magazines?
If Aunt Keiko knew Shiro's high school escapades, she'd realize this was small potatoes.
Seeing Inui stay silent, Keiko's lips twitched, suddenly worrying about Inui's married life. Would her son bully her to death? The thought was oddly thrilling!
Sadly
Shiro wasn't paying attention to his mom or Inui, oblivious to their thoughts.
His eyes were locked on Mr. Kenjirou!
Seeing his jerk dad's smug face, Shiro's grin turned downright perverse.
Having battled his dad for over a decade, he knew it wouldn't be that easy.
But this time!
He'd come prepared!
Shiro whipped out his phone and opened his gallery. "Oh? But my dear dad, that's not what you told me on LINE."
LINE?!
Kenjirou was baffled. He'd never discuss this with his son on LINE—he hadn't even added him!
With that, he shot Shiro a scornful look.
"Faked stuff is never—holy crap, what's this?!"
Seeing Shiro's phone, Kenjirou blurted out a curse.
The screen showed *his* chat history with his son!
*"Jerk Dad: Yo, boy~ Grab me a couple of kawaii magazines when you come back. The 18+ kind, you know~"*
*"Universe's Hottest Guy: …"*
*"Universe's Hottest Guy: Jerk Dad, aren't you scared Mom will find out?"*
*"Jerk Dad: Hmph, kid, you gotta know who's the real boss of this house! I could read these in front of her, and she wouldn't say a thing!"*
*"Universe's Hottest Guy: Brave.jpg"*
*"Universe's Hottest Guy: Why not buy them yourself?"*
*"Jerk Dad: …They don't sell 'em here! Righteous.ipg"*
*"…"*
*"Universe's Hottest Guy: Fine, 100,000 yen."*
*"Jerk Dad: Cash on delivery!"*
*"Universe's Hottest Guy: Mature women?"*
*"Jerk Dad: Lolis!"*
"…"
The explosiveness of this chat rivaled Yamamoto getting a girlfriend.
After reading it all, Mr. Kenjirou's face went pale.
What's undeniable evidence?
*This* was undeniable evidence!
The problem? He, the supposed culprit, had *zero* memory of it!
But
That didn't matter. The real head of the house believed it!
A predatory glint flashed in Keiko's eyes, her face sporting a "benevolent" smile.
"Darling, I never knew your tastes were like this. Twenty years, and it's my first time learning. Like father, like son—same kinks~"
!!!
Shiro bristled. His mom had him all wrong.
He actually preferred older women like Nanaka-nee.
It was just that a few of his high school friends happened to be lolis…
You gotta try things to know what you really like!
But Shiro didn't dare say that. Miss Keiko was on a warpath, and he didn't want to be her next punching bag like Kenjirou.
Kenjirou's face was purple, Keiko's arm tightening around his neck.
This was clearly a murder in progress.
(′?`)
"Wait… wait, honey, that's… it's gotta be photoshopped… I don't even have that brat's LINE…"
Hearing this, Keiko eased her grip slightly, her gaze shifting to Shiro.
He was her dear husband—she couldn't just kill him rashly.
This was within Shiro's calculations!
Wiping his eyes, he put on a hurt look. "You deleted my LINE, Dad? That's cold. Good thing I screenshotted it, or I'd have no proof."
"You little punk, I never added you!"
Kenjirou's eyes blazed. This kid was wasting his acting talent!
Feeling the arm around his neck tighten again, Kenjirou pleaded, "Keiko, my Keiko, you gotta believe me. I'm team mature women!"
"Mom, check under the bedroom floor. You might find a surprise~"
!!!
"You…"
How the hell did you know?!
Kenjirou stared at Shiro, incredulous. He'd hidden it so well, yet this brat found it?
"Keiko… you don't believe him, right? I'm your husband!"
He looked at his wife pleadingly, hoping love would sway her.
Too bad~
Keiko smiled brightly at Kenjirou, but her words chilled him to the bone.
"Darling, how could a mother not trust her child~"
With that, she smiled at Shiro and Inui, dragging Kenjirou out. "You kids have fun~"
*SLAM!*
The living room door shut. Shiro could already picture Kenjirou's next state.
Probably a pig.
*KEKEKEKEKE~*
…
Inui, watching Shiro's evil grin, hugged Rize chan and shrank back, steering clear of the villain.
"So Uncle Kenjirou really sent you those messages?"
Inui asked, feeling like Kenjirou's earlier expression wasn't faked.
"Of course not."
With his mom gone, Shiro confessed. Just screenshots I faked with a burner account. But the magazines under Dad's floor? Those are real.
…