"You… you're not Kohei, are you?"
On a remote mountaintop, Kamishiro had his arm around Ikegoshi's shoulder, speaking teasingly.
Feeling the person in front of him trembling, Shiro's smile turned increasingly sinister.
As expected… bullying people is way too fun!
Ikegoshi: !!!
Kohei?
That name sounded super familiar. Was it the beetle monster's partner?
If he got found out, would they eat him?!
To be honest, while Ikegoshi didn't really have a defined persona, his imagination was top-tier. He still genuinely believed he'd run into some kind of beetle monster.
Trembling, he forced a laugh. "Haha… What are you talking about? Of course I'm Kohei…"
Shiro twitched at the corner of his mouth. This guy's really still going with the act?
He let go and stepped out from behind him. "Drop the act. You've already been found out."
Ikegoshi: ???
All he did was refuse a sketchy drink—how did that count as getting "found out"!?
But now wasn't the time to dwell on that. Seeing the giant rhinoceros beetle standing in front of him, Ikegoshi quickly begged for his life.
"Please don't eat me, Mr. Monster—eh?!"
Mid-begging, Ikegoshi suddenly realized something felt… off.
Why did this beetle have a human face under its mandibles?
And not just any face—a very familiar one.
The two locked eyes. Ikegoshi blinked.
Memories of Palau started returning.
{{(°△°; "}}!
"Kamishiro… kun?"
Ikegoshi asked uncertainly. This outfit was so ridiculous he almost didn't recognize him.
Seeing he'd been recognized, Kamishiro gave a happy grin.
After all, this was the first official actor in his debut work—of course he was thrilled.
He patted Ikegoshi's shoulder and smiled. "Long time no see, Ikegoshi. You're here to…"
Kamishiro looked Ikegoshi up and down. The clothes were stylish, just… filthy. It looked like he'd been rolling on the ground.
"Survival training?"
Ikegoshi followed Kamishiro's gaze down to his own clothes and twitched.
This guy seriously didn't notice I was crawling in panic because of HIM?!
But since that embarrassment had already been skipped over Ikegoshi wasn't going to bring it up again.
He was honestly happy to see Kamishiro. The guy was one of his benefactors.
He'd learned afterward that the promo video's success was largely thanks to Kamishiro's contributions.
Still… no matter how excited he was, the moment he saw that beetle costume, it all evaporated.
For someone who feared bugs, just being able to hold a conversation right now was already an achievement.
Ikegoshi forced a stiff smile and tried to explain:
"Uh, I'm filming a show here. Kamishiro-kun, are you cosplaying?"
Forgive him—this was the only logical reason he could think of for dressing like that.
Seriously, which anime character dresses as a beetle?!
Don't tell him it's from Kamen Rider!
Kamishiro waved a finger, looking disappointed. "Ikegoshi, you're really lacking some basic knowledge."
Ikegoshi: ???
He was totally baffled. He might be a celebrity, but in Japan, being a celeb just meant being a regular guy. He definitely knew his basic general knowledge.
What kind of "basic knowledge" involved beetle suits?!
Seeing Kamishiro's confident expression, Ikegoshi started to doubt himself.
Wait, am I really the weird one here?
Kamishiro gave up hope when he saw Ikegoshi's clueless expression.
He sighed, stood tall with hands on hips, full of pride and self-satisfaction.
"Ikegoshi, study harder, okay? Seeing this outfit it should've made it obvious at a glance.
I'm here to catch beetles!"
Boom
Ikegoshi stared up at him in disbelief.
This guy actually called that "common sense"?
He was on the verge of a breakdown.
So this really wasn't a hidden camera prank show?!
"What are you looking around for? Hidden cameras or something?"
Kamishiro suddenly remembered that Ikegoshi had just mentioned he was filming something.
He didn't know what show it was, but… time to strike a pose!
If it's beetle-related, it should be that one, right?
Demon Horns Pose!
Watching Kamishiro suddenly raise his hands above his head, Ikegoshi was momentarily stunned.
Damn, he's got serious variety show flair!
Ikegoshi felt a tinge of jealousy.
But… the more he thought about it, the more suspicious he got.
Wait a sec—is Kamishiro-kun secretly an entertainer now too?
A few minutes later
He cautiously sidled up next to Kamishiro and asked,
"Kamishiro-kun, you're filming a variety show right?"
Kamishiro: "???"
"Aren't you filming a variety show?"
"Eh? I got separated from my team…"
"..."
The two of them blinked at each other, staring blankly.
So… after all that, it's just the two of them here?
"Why didn't you say so earlier!!!"
Kamishiro grabbed Ikegoshi by the collar and shook him violently.
He'd just held that Demon Horns pose for several minutes, okay!?
It was exhausting!
Worst of all, he'd used so much force he even let out a fart!
Damn it! This is so unfair!
(((φ(◎ロ◎;)φ)))
"It was obvious, wasn't it?! I thought you guys were the ones filming a show!"
Ikegoshi's eyes had turned into spirals. Seriously it really wasn't his fault!
He was filming an educational program, not one of those prank shows with hidden cameras!
…
Meanwhile
Elsewhere the show team in order to not startle the wild Kohei had their cameras hidden in a bush.
What they were capturing was absolutely explosive.
In their eyes Ikegoshi who had successfully escaped from announcer Yukino had begun his irreversible descent into the world of perversion!
Singing popular anime songs while stark naked and picking up chestnuts.
What a joyful sight!
Inside the bushes
Announcer Yukino wiped the sweat from her forehead
Ikegoshi was just too fast.
And also—
"Director, is this really okay?"
She looked worriedly at the buzz-cut director. If she remembered correctly this was supposed to be a science program not a variety show!
The director knew exactly what she meant, but at this point, science education was the least of his concerns.
Waving her off, he looked at Ikegoshi with admiration in his eyes and said,
"Yukino, don't be so rigid. To make a good show, we have to innovate. It's the final episode of our beetle series and we've got to give the audience something different!
Let them end the summer with laughter!
And look—Ikegoshi is putting in so much effort for this persona. That song about Rarako can only be sung by someone hardcore someone who is truly immersed in the culture!
But don't worry, when we edit, we'll still focus mainly on the beetles. We've already shot a lot of that stuff earlier, right?"
"…"
Yukino pressed her lips together and muttered, "Director, you sure know your stuff"
If that song was only known by hardcore fans, then hasn't the director just outed himself?
After hearing his explanation, Yukino gave a sigh and stopped trying to persuade him.
Ikegoshi was working hard. He'd completely thrown away his idol dignity at this point.
Maybe this was something he truly deserved.
Yukino looked at the box of beetles near the props team, hoping Ikegoshi would eventually remember what today's actual theme was.
Off to the side
Seeing how hard Ikegoshi was working, the staff started gossiping.
"Isn't the reason Ikegoshi made up this persona… that thing?"
"Oh yeah, the industry's been buzzing about it, right?"
"Apparently, he's marrying Yukari Muramura next year."
"Right, right!"
"So jealous!! a handsome idol marrying a beautiful voice actress."
"They met while filming that movie, right?"
While listening to the staff gossip about Ikegoshi's upcoming marriage, Yukino absentmindedly played with a little beetle.
As expected, only unmarried people thought marriage was wonderful. Marriage? Beetles were way more interesting.
Actually, maybe for the final scene, they could film the beetles being released back into the wild?
The more she thought about it, the better the idea seemed. She looked toward the director, ready to propose it.
Then—
She saw that Ikegoshi who should have been naked and singing while collecting chestnuts, had now grabbed the director by one hand and was staring at him like a demon!
"You repeat what you just said!!"
?(╬⓪益⓪)?
So tired…
Kamishiro let go of Ikegoshi and collapsed onto the ground, utterly defeated.
Sigh
How frustrating. He climbed the mountain and in the end didn't catch any beetles, got his clothes stolen and when he finally found a real celebrity filming he struck cool poses for ages only to be told that there was no camera crew!
Life was too hard.
He should've just gone to buy beetles. By the time he got back, he could've enjoyed chestnut rice made from the chestnuts Kitahara and the others collected.
Damn it!
He'd missed the optimal strategy!
"Um… Kamishiro-kun?"
Ikegoshi cautiously approached Kamishiro, curiously asking,
"If this isn't a variety show, then those two earlier"
Were they seriously picking chestnuts dressed like that?
"Oh, those were two Senpai from my club. Kitahara said today he wanted to eat chestnut rice so to shut him up we all went to gather chestnuts. Oh right, you remember Kitahara right?"
Ikegoshi nodded. The Palau trip had been a turning point in his career—he remembered everyone he'd met clearly.
But he still had one question:
"Um then why were you all naked?"
"Obviously because we don't have any clothes!"
"Yeah, I could see that. What I mean is—why don't you have any clothes?"
It's not like clothes vanish on their own!
"Oh, that? We ran into a group of monkeys at the beginning, that's all."
"…?"
Ikegoshi opened his mouth, tempted to ask how monkeys could steal clothes while you're still wearing them, but decided against it.
Something told him this guy wasn't too bright.
Was it the beetle costume? Did it regress his brain?
His every move just screamed variety show
Wait a minute!
Ikegoshi suddenly froze—wasn't this exactly what he needed?
Under Kamishiro's horrified gaze, the previously distant Ikegoshi suddenly grabbed his hands with great enthusiasm.
"Kamishiro-kun! Please teach me how to create a persona!"
Kamishiro: "???"
Were they even talking about personas just now?
…
After a ten-minute explanation, Kamishiro finally understood.
He looked at Ikegoshi with a strange expression.
"So what you're saying is… the production team abandoned you because you had no character concept at all?"
"AhemThey probably just went to film the beetles"
Ikegoshi looked awkward. He hadn't been able to find the crew, so he had to cling to that excuse.
Kamishiro: "Do you believe that?"
Ikegoshi: "It's all I can believe (っ╥╯﹏╰╥c)"
"…"
Kamishiro was speechless. He had to admit that kind of logic checked out.
Still—
"If you're afraid of bugs, why'd you even take on a science education program? I thought you were planning to debut through scuba diving and now you're becoming an entomologist?"
"Oh, there's a reason for that"
Ikegoshi scratched his head, looking embarrassed.
"I'm getting married to my girlfriend next year. I need to work harder and establish myself in the industry."
"Ohh, marriage, huh~"
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Kamishiro's expression turned sleazy, recalling some recent teacher-themed works he'd seen.
He slung his arm over Ikegoshi's shoulder.
"Congrats! It's in Tokyo, right? Let's stay in touch. I'll definitely come visit."
"Y-Yeah, sure"
Ikegoshi instinctively pulled away. His sixth sense told him that this guy was definitely thinking something indecent.
He hadn't forgotten Kamishiro's dream of breaking into the entertainment industry via adult films.
He was half-expecting Kamishiro to say something like:
"Ikegoshi you wouldn't want your wife ending up on the streets just because you don't have a character, right?"
Of course
Kamishiro had merely remembered some doujin plots. He was a man of integrity.
Back to the issue at hand. When it came to personas, Kamishiro had plenty of ideas. It all depended on whether Ikegoshi was willing to sacrifice.
He gave Ikegoshi a once-over and asked,
"Ikegoshi you don't have any idol image burdens, right?"
"None at all!"
Ikegoshi's voice was firm and resolute. He would do anything for a good persona!
Seeing his determination, Kamishiro nodded in approval. As expected, Ikegoshi was one of the hardest-working entertainers he'd ever met.
In that case.
Kamishiro reached behind his own back and pulled out a giant jar of honey!
Bang!
Seeing the honey jar appear out of nowhere, Ikegoshi's eyes twitched.
Why did this scene feel so familiar?
Was this some kind of standard tactic in their club?!
It defied all logic!
Sensing Ikegoshi's confusion, Kamishiro explained,
"It's perfectly normal to stash stuff inside the beetle costume, right?"
As he spoke, he generously opened his shell.
Upon seeing it
Ikegoshi let out a sigh of relief. So that's where it was hidden. He had been wondering how someone completely naked could pull a 2-liter jar of honey from behind them.
But still
Wasn't the stuff inside the shell way too weird?!
There were zero survival tools. Nearly the entire shell was packed with high-alcohol liquor.
And the rest
A shovel? Rope? Cement?
Are they really here to collect chestnuts?
If you told him they were here to settle some club dispute, he'd believe that more!
Seeing Ikegoshi's stiff expression, Kamishiro followed his gaze, then calmly closed his "shell" and explained,
"These are all essential supplies!"
Ikeyoshi: {{(°△°; "}}!
Even though he didn't understand, he thought: Whatever you say is right!
After seeing all that stuff, how could Ikeyoshi dare to question it?!
"Alright, let's begin!"
As he said that, Kamishiro picked up a jar of honey and walked toward Ikeyoshi. Under Ikeyoshi's confused little-bunny expression, Kamishiro gave him a wicked grin.
"Ikegoshi, based on what you said, the first step should be overcoming your fear of bugs. Be good and take off your clothes~"
Σ(っ °Д °;)っ
"Take. take off my clothes?!"
Ikeyoshi's expression slowly turned to horror. He had said he was willing to do anything, but this sacrifice was going a bit too far!
Is this some cult called "Big Bird Spinning" or something?!
He'd be betraying Yukari if he went through with this!
"Kamishiro-kun, I think it'd be more realistic if I found a body double."
Ikeyoshi backed away frantically, arms crossed over his chest. He remembered that boy who looked just like him was also in their club!
"That won't do. You can't keep relying on Kohei every time, Ikegoshi~"
"Then can I give up for now?"
"Oh?"
Hearing that, Kamishiro's grin grew even wider.
"Of course you can~"
Hearing that, Ikegoshi let out a sigh of relief.
But the very next second, a huge rhinoceros beetle suddenly tackled him from behind and pinned him to the ground with a loud thud.
A red glint flashed in Kamishiro's eyes.
Get off the ride?
No way!
Ikeyoshi: "Wait wait wait, Kamishiro-kun, hold on! I give up on the persona, just don't rip it, Not the shorts! Really, NOT the shorts!!!"
Kamishiro: "Don't struggle, Ikegoshi, this is all for your future in the entertainment industry, kekekeke~"
Under Kamishiro's overwhelming strength, Ikegoshi shed tears of humiliation.
o(╥﹏╥)o
Sorry, Yukari... I'm no longer pure...!