Doo doo doo~
A familiar ringtone rang out.
Seeing the name "Yamamoto" on the screen, Iori didn't hesitate in the slightest and immediately answered the call.
Nearby, Kamishiro and Kohei also leaned in to listen next to Iori's ear.
Seeing how enthusiastic the three were, the senpai couldn't help but be curious—just who was this "Yamamoto"?
Obviously, they'd forgotten the scene where they pinned Yamamoto down and forced drinks on him.
Well, to be fair, they'd pinned down and forced drinks on quite a few people…
As for Chisa and Aina, they had a very clear impression of that abstract "Yamamoto" guy.
They didn't even need to think—this definitely had to be some kind of idiotic incident. Only dumbasses like Kamishiro and the others would get this excited over it.
Yup.
The two girls had already mentally labeled this trio as the "Idiot Combo."
All idiots!
At this moment, Kamishiro and the others couldn't care less what Chisa and Aina were thinking. They immediately spoke into the phone, asking, "Yamamoto, what the hell just happened?!"
"Kamishiro?"
Hearing the familiar voice, Yamamoto on the other end sounded a little surprised.
But a second later, he didn't care about the details and went straight to the point:
"Forget it, just answer me one question, quick!"
"What question?" Kamishiro looked confused—Yamamoto sounded panicked. He had sounded so carefree just minutes ago.
Why the sudden change?
"What the hell was in that bottle?!"
"Huh? You mean the liquor I left with you earlier? That's Water of Life—why?" Kamishiro replied.
"..."
The moment Kamishiro said that, all he got in return was Yamamoto's long, stunned silence.
"Yamamoto? What happened?"
Yamamoto didn't answer. He just muttered over the phone:
"I think… I'm done for…"
Before Kamishiro and the others could ask anything else, the call ended—just like the first time.
As the beeping of the disconnected call echoed in their ears, Iori held out the phone and shrugged.
"That's what he said. So now what?"
"We go straight to him!"
Kamishiro's eyes burned with resolve as he stared at the building where Yamamoto lived, just ahead.
Right now, his gossip senses were at an all-time high!
Tomorrow's top headline depended entirely on Yamamoto's performance!
Also… he really wanted to know what the hell that idiot did with his Water of Life.
That stuff was expensive!
Well… at least, it was wasted on Yamamoto. And if Yamamoto didn't drink it, that'd be an even bigger waste!
"…"
The others nodded silently at Kamishiro's suggestion. After already coming this far they might as well go see.
…
At that moment, Yamamoto, now knowing the truth, was on the ground, lifeless.
It was over. He was really screwed.
Water of Life...
He'd heard of that. It was supposed to be even worse than disinfectant!
No wonder it felt like he was burning from the inside out.
It was 96% alcohol!
No wonder it felt so intense!
He regretted it—Yamamoto deeply regretted everything!
He should never have let himself get swept away by a moment of pleasure and put himself in such a humiliating situation.
No… this wasn't just embarrassing anymore. It was an actual threat to the life of his little buddy!
Even though he wasn't a medical student, as a university student, he knew you weren't supposed to soak your manhood in 96% alcohol.
That'd definitely cause problems!
"No, no, no! I haven't even used it once in these 20 years—I can't lose it now!"
This was the symbol of his manhood!
"Anyway, I have to pull it out, fast!"
With a twisted expression, Yamamoto gripped the bottle.
"Even if it hurts, I just have to grit my teeth and bear it!"
He couldn't even go to the hospital like this!
But just as he was about to exert strength, a sudden wave of dizziness hit him.
The sudden vertigo nearly made him collapse—he only managed to steady himself by grabbing a nearby table.
This feeling… he was drunk?!
Yamamoto froze. That's when his long-forgotten high school biology lessons came rushing back.
Alcohol can be absorbed into the bloodstream via the stomach or intestinal mucosa.
And! Compared to the stomach, absorption through mucous membranes like the intestines is much faster!
Which means… his blood alcohol level just skyrocketed.
In short, absorbing alcohol through the mucous membrane gets you drunk faster than drinking it!
So now he was actually drunk!
Thud!
Yamamoto dropped to his knees—not because he passed out, but because he mentally couldn't handle this.
"This is the worst… This method of getting drunk is the absolute worst…"
It wasn't that Yamamoto minded getting drunk. Ever since he started drinking with Kamishiro and the others, he'd gotten drunk pretty often.
Every time, that bastard Kamishiro would take all sorts of compromising photos of him!
He was used to it by now.
But… he still had standards!
He didn't mind himself getting drunk.
But not… his little buddy!
If people found out he got drunk by trying something kinky and soaking his junk in strong liquor...
His entire college life would be spent in shame and ridicule!
And even worse—if Kamishiro, that so-called "journalist," found out?
That bastard would definitely post it all over the forums, and he'd lose any chance of dating for the next four years!!!
Even if he imagined himself as a girl, he wouldn't want a boyfriend who got drunk from that!
Even if the guy was super handsome!
(Yamamoto's narcissism—please ignore~)
Of course, if it were someone shameless like Kamishiro... well, even he would never stoop this low!
"No! No way!"
Yamamoto slapped his cheeks, forcing himself to stay clear-headed.
Then he stood and began frantically searching the room.
"This isn't the time to be drunk! Even if I have to use scissors, I need to get this bottle off!"
And to be clear—the scissors were for the bottle, not for practicing any "Eunuch Mastery" martial arts!
But just as Yamamoto was rummaging through the room—
Ding dong~
Σ(っ °Д °;)っ?!
Yamamoto's heart felt like someone watching a horror movie late at night only to find a mysterious hand under the blanket.
Absolutely terrifying!!
The shock was so intense that even his little buddy shrank slightly. A medical miracle, really.
But that wasn't the end of it.
Right after being scared, Yamamoto's attention inevitably shifted back to his little buddy.
That's just how virgins are.
When you're focused on it, even the tiniest bit of stimulation can make it rise again.
Let alone boiling hot alcohol and a tight glass bottle opening!
Ssss!
The swelling pain made Yamamoto suck in a sharp breath—it hurt even worse now!
He couldn't even attempt to thrust anymore!
Not because of some second puberty.
It was just... he was swelling too much...
Damn it!
Who the hell was interrupting him at a time like this?!
Clenching his teeth through the pain, Yamamoto peeked through the peephole—he had to see who dared show up now.
Once he got the bottle off, he'd make them suffer instead!
And then...
Yamamoto saw that snow-white skin, those seductive curves of the girls outside.
Spaghetti straps and light dresses highlighted every inch of their beauty—especially those beads of sweat glistening on their skin.
It was enough to make anyone dry-mouthed.
As a virgin, Yamamoto simply could not resist this kind of temptation. His imagination immediately started running wild.
One more thing: a classic trait of virgins is that they're extremely excitable.
Even though he had just let off some steam, he was still incredibly aroused!
Just like that—
Even with alcohol already making his "little brother" swollen beyond belief…
Faced with such a beautiful sight, his "little brother" declared: "I can still get bigger!"
At this moment,
Yamamoto felt like he was equipped with one of those props you only see in adult films.
He forgot what it was called, but it was some kind of device used by a dominatrix to restrain the little brother.
Just thinking about it made it swell even more—
Why the hell did that feel kind of good?!
If it had just been that, Yamamoto could've endured it.
But...
With the alcohol kicking in harder and harder, Yamamoto couldn't hold back anymore—he screamed out loud:
"AAAAHHHHHH!!!"
________________
Outside the door—
Kamishiro Kamishiro was puzzled as to why Yamamoto hadn't knocked yet.
Based on the phone call earlier, Yamamoto should've been at home getting that bottle of liquor.
Since the booze was in the fridge, if he'd found it, he had to be home.
Had he already left before they got here?
But that didn't make sense. They had rushed over as fast as they could once they got the call.
The time between the call and their arrival wasn't long.
Even if Yamamoto had coincidentally gone out, they should've passed each other on the way.
All of this just made Kamishiro more curious about what the hell Yamamoto was doing.
Just as he was about to call again—
A blood-curdling scream came from inside.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHH—!!!"
It was Yamamoto!
As his friends, the three of them immediately recognized his voice and began pounding on the door, shouting:
"Yamamoto! Are you okay?!"
"What the hell happened?!"
"Open the door, hurry!"
But no matter how hard they knocked, the door stood strong, and Yamamoto didn't respond.
Only that relentless scream echoed from within.
Hearing it, even the senpai nearby got nervous and rushed over.
"I think I heard someone rolling on the floor inside!"
"Go grab the spare key from the dorm manager!"
The senpai yelled frantically. While they could've kicked the door open themselves—
That was too risky.
Based on the screams, Yamamoto had to be near the door. If they kicked it down, they might send the whole door slamming into him.
Reminded of this, Kamishiro quickly rushed downstairs to find the manager.
This didn't sound fake—Yamamoto might actually be in real danger!
________________
And in fact…
Kamishiro was mostly right—Yamamoto really was in a life-or-death situation.
Well… for his "little brother," at least.
The swelling pain was so intense, Yamamoto couldn't even stand anymore.
All he could do was roll around on the floor in agony, trying to ease the pain.
But he forgot one important detail:
These rooms were built small to maximize occupancy.
Especially the entryway—it was cramped after installing the shoe cabinet.
And Yamamoto? He was one big dude.
So naturally, while rolling, his body knocked over a bottle—slamming it into the shoe cabinet.
"Ohhhhhh~!!!"
That seemingly minor collision nearly killed him!
Already swollen beyond endurance, now he got hit hard?
Worse—because of the rolling, his little brother had slurped up a lot of liquor.
With all those factors combined, Yamamoto couldn't tell if it was pain or pleasure as he fainted, face flushed with a blush that shouldn't have been there.
Passed out, Yamamoto wore a satisfied smile and twitched slightly on the floor.
And the worst part?
The bottle had rolled away in the chaos, spilling cloudy alcohol all over the dirty floor.
________________
Outside the room—
Kamishiro came back, dragging a panting dorm manager up the stairs.
"Hurry! Get the key!" he urged. Then turned to Kitahara: "How's the situation now?"
"Uh… not sure," Iori said, face looking a little weird. "After some really… nasty sounds, it went quiet."
Kamishiro looked confused.
What?
That didn't sound like the kind of emergency he had in mind…
"I got it!" the manager exclaimed.
He jammed the key into the lock without hesitation and flung the door open.
Then froze in shock.
Kamishiro and the others leaned in curiously—
And saw:
The room was a total wreck.
A fat man was lying completely naked on the floor, a lecherous smile on his lips.
Between his legs lay the same bottle Kamishiro had left—the so-called "Water of Life"—spilling everywhere.
At first glance, this looked like your average drunken pervert's scene.
"Phew, false alarm. He's just wasted," someone said.
"Jeez, what a lightweight."
"But at least he's not seriously hurt."
The group chuckled as they looked at Yamamoto, clearly used to this kind of thing.
They'd all gotten that drunk before. No big deal~
Only Kamishiro looked pissed off, his face twitching as he stared at Yamamoto.
Had… everyone forgotten those screams from earlier?
And seriously—since when did his Water of Life look so cloudy?!
And Yamamoto's little brother…
When the hell did it get the size of a basketball?!
Almost as big as his own!
Kamishiro had a bold theory swirling in his head—
So bold, he didn't even dare say it aloud.
Instead…
He took a picture.
Let the internet speculate.
(λ?_??)
Snap~!