I was returning home from work when a truck suddenly veered off the road and sped straight towards me.
I didn't even have time to be afraid, because my death was practically instantaneous.
When I opened my eyes again, I found myself in the body of a pig. In my own novel, which I never finished five years ago.
A certain amount of time had passed since then.
I was lying on a hard pile of yellowed hay, my hooves folded and my short tail tucked under me.
The endless blue sky stretched out before me, but I was forced to look at it from a small window in a dirty and relatively cramped barn.
In an hour, the swineherd was supposed to come and take the pigs out for a walk, and I was waiting for that moment as a chance to breathe some fresh air.
It had been two weeks since I was reborn as a pig in this world.
I was no longer in shock from the realisation that I was no longer human, but I couldn't say that I had gotten used to it either. Rather, I had simply accepted it.
The place where I first opened my eyes after arriving in this world was the royal farm. That's right. I was reborn in the enemy state of my novel Orion, ruled by the main villain Zeldris Aldrua.
I realised this almost immediately, because even from the small window of the pigsty, I could see the majestic towers of the Red Castle, which was not only the residence of the royal family, but also a cultural landmark of Orion.
But my future prospects, in any case, did not change much because of this. Having become a pig, I had only two alternatives for how events could unfold. The first was that I would be eaten. And the second was that I would be eaten again.
Indeed, what could I expect, having been reborn as a piece of meat on legs? Fate had already played a cruel joke on me, turning me into a pig in my own novel, and now it had deprived me of any right to choose!
But, in fact, in my situation, there was one single advantage — I was reborn as a royal pig. Still, it was better than being born on an ordinary pig farm, where I would most likely have been slaughtered within six months of life. But that still didn't mean I was happy to be a pig!
I didn't ask to be the main character, the villain, or any other significant figure in the novel. A minor role, such as a swineherd, would have been enough for me, and I would have been able to get my life back on track. Just make me human. But no! I became a pig, damn it!
I sighed, mentally gathering all my thoughts into a pile. A sound like a grunt escaped from my mouth because I couldn't sigh like humans did.
If I didn't do something, I wouldn't have long to live. This body was already six months old, and soon it would be eight. For pigs, this was the age when most of them stopped being fattened up and were sent to the butcher. When that happened, I would go into the oven and then onto the plate of the bastard who was called the king here.
Zeldris Aldrua was actually a character originally created by my friend. We studied together at university, and often, during boring lectures, we would sit at the back of the classroom and come up with further plot lines for my novel.
It was on one of those days that Zeldris appeared, whose image my friend took inspiration from her favourite idol group. His handsome appearance, plus his cold-blooded tyrannical character, made him the perfect «bad guy».
«The Princess's Destiny» did not originally have a main villain in its plot. It was a simple love story between a princess and her knight, and I didn't want to change it.
And I didn't like Zeldris myself at first, because I didn't really like guys of that type, but my friend convinced me that he would add «spark» to the novel.
And that's what happened. As soon as I added him to the plot, a serious debate broke out on the forum where readers discussed my novel. Everyone was crazy about Zeldiris and begged me to keep him with the main character.
But I had my doubts. Knight Gilbert was Gloria's «canon» lover, and suddenly removing him in favour of Zeldiris seemed to me to be a violation of the original concept of the novel. At the same time, I couldn't leave Zeldris' feelings completely unanswered, since almost all of my novel's popularity was based on his spark with the main character.
And so, in the end, I decided to make the ending of «The Princess's Destiny» open. Which ultimately turned out to be terrible karma for me.
Although, thinking about it now, I would have preferred Gilbert. He was a positive character, and it's quite possible that he would have taken pity on me and not eaten me as his chops. Unlike that jerk Zeldris... I couldn't count on him for such mercy.
I rolled over onto my other side and sighed again.
The sow approached me and began poking me in the back with her hoof. She was the largest pig of them all and was the leader of our herd. In this life, she was the one who brought me into the world... But should I really consider her my mother? It was ridiculous!
I tried to push her away with my hoof in annoyance, and she did indeed leave. But then she came back, holding a fresh cabbage stalk in her teeth.
Was this her way of caring for me...?
I didn't know how to express my gratitude in animal language, so I just accepted her «gift» and sank my teeth into it.
The mother pig, satisfied with this, left.
At that moment, I heard the door bolt open and our «overseer» enter the pigsty.
He was a heavyset middle-aged man with a distinctive thick red moustache. He was the first person I met when I came into this world.
His name was Sam Ridley, and he was the chief royal swineherd. His job was to water us, feed us, monitor our living conditions, and take us out for a walk every day.
He was one of the background characters, and I never mentioned him in the novel. But for that very reason, I perceived him most of all as a «real» person.
Sam Ridley was a completely free character who had no influence on the plot and was therefore independent of the author, that is, me. Unlike the main and secondary characters, whose lives I had written as a script, characters like Sam could live any life they wanted. This was a significant advantage of background characters.
And, on top of everything else, he was kind enough never to torment the animals in the pigsty. So I even took a liking to him.
Sam opened our pen and beckoned the pigs to follow him.
— All right, everyone, follow me! Polly, come here!
«Polly» was the nickname he gave to the mother pig, and she always responded to him.
She was the first to follow the swineherd, and the rest of her offspring followed her in a circle. I brought up the rear of this «troop» because I always preferred to remain as inconspicuous as possible.
Sam led us to a special field enclosed by a fence, which was a walking area for the animals living on the royal farm.
There was plenty of fresh grass, the sun was shining brightly, and a refreshing breeze was blowing. It seemed like completely ordinary nature, which could not be a subject of wild enthusiasm. However, for me, having lived in a barn for the last two weeks, such views were a real joyful pig squeal.
As soon as the swineherd left us, I immediately ran to the lake to drink clean water. It was so clear that I could even see fish swimming on the surface of the water.
In the mirror-like surface, I also saw my reflection. A cute pig of medium build, with a pink bottom and floppy ears. Healthy light pink skin and hard hooves. Small black beady eyes and a short tail. Outwardly, I was not much different from the other pigs, but I still dared to consider myself quite cute.
During the time we were allowed to stay here, all the pigs were allowed to move freely around the pen without the supervision of the swineherd. He just sat in the shade of a large tree, yawning and occasionally glancing with one eye.
After swimming to my heart's content in the warm, sun-heated water, I climbed ashore and began rubbing my skin against the grass to dry it.
At that moment, I heard voices and turned around.
A thin man in simple clothes, whom I had never seen before, approached Sam, who was sitting under the oak tree. Most likely, he was one of the farm workers.
They were talking about something, and even from where I was, I could see the swineherd's eyebrows rise in surprise.
I became curious and decided to get closer. I never missed an opportunity to get new information about what was happening here, even if it was just a casual conversation between extras.
For example, it was from one such casual conversation that I learned that the time I was currently in took place three months before the start of the key branch of the novel. Simply put, it was during this period that Zeldris would kidnap Princess Gloria, marking the beginning of their tragic love story. Why «tragic»? Because literally two weeks after this event, her fiancé Gilbert will arrive here with his army and destroy everything! But it's too early to talk about that...
Approaching them as closely as possible, I froze, listening to their conversation.
— Did you hear? His Holiness the Archmage seems to be returning to the palace soon.
— Really? — Sam asked cautiously. — If that's the case, does that mean we're in for bad news? Will there be a war?
— I don't think so, — he replied thoughtfully. — This time he's alone, so he's probably just decided to return after his travels.
— Well, in that case, that's good news! — Sam exclaimed. — I think we should prepare some pork ribs for the occasion...
I screamed.
Pork ribs?! No way! If I ever manage to regain my human body, I will never eat another piece of pork in my life.
But what struck me even more... Archmage?!
It can't be! I had completely forgotten about him...!
If he's returning to the palace, then I need to find him, and as soon as possible.
After all, he's the one who can give me back my human body...!