The Laughing God's mouth fell open, his expression one of pure astonishment as he stared at Axis and Khorne. The plan was truly insane.
Nurgle stood to lose the most from this endeavor. Slaanesh, by contrast, would merely be denied a coveted new plaything.
"When the time comes, you must help Khorne and me convince Isha to aid us in a very particular matter," Axis explained, "This is crucial. Our success will determine if we can triumph over the other three Ruinous Powers, and perhaps even if we can defeat the Dark King."
"You will help us, won't you, 'Laughing God?'" Khorne pressed, "Help us persuade Isha to agree to our proposal. Believe me, if this succeeds, the benefits for all of us will be immense."
The Laughing God stared at Axis and Khorne, his voice cracking with a sudden, dawning horror, "Wait, just wait! I see it now! I understand why you want to rescue Isha, and why you keep emphasizing what she 'does best'! Axis! Khorne! You absolute madmen! You… you can't possibly intend to have the Goddess of Life bear a divine offspring for you, do you? Axis, you want to be a father? Or you, Khorne, the god of war, you want to be a daddy? By the gods! No wonder you needed to prepare a physical vessel for her in the Materium!"
The more he thought about it, the more it made a perverse sort of sense. They had stressed the monumental importance of their plan, and what else could Isha contribute that would be so vital? It had to be the birth of a divine scion. If Isha, the most powerful of the Aeldari pantheon, was given a suitable physical vessel, her potent soul would animate a formidable body. Whether it was Khorne, Axis, or even both of them who fathered this child, the Goddess of Life would unquestionably give birth to a new god of unimaginable power.
An uncanny silence descended upon the palace.
The expression on Axis's face froze solid, the corner of his mouth twitching uncontrollably. Khorne's phantasm of burning war-fire wavered violently, as if the Blood God himself had been struck speechless by the absurd suggestion.
For a brief moment, his crimson eyes betrayed a look of sheer stupefaction before it was utterly consumed by a torrent of incandescent rage.
"Of course, gentlemen, no problem at all. I will do my utmost to convince Isha," Cegorach declared, his face splitting into a wide, impish grin. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at Axis and Khorne. "After all, it is for the sake of our ultimate victory. I imagine Isha would be more than willing to accept one of you, or perhaps even both. We should agree on the terms now, however. Whether it is a child sired by one of you or by both of you together, half of its divinity shall belong to the Aeldari. It will be a god of our people as well. This will be the foundation of our tripartite cooperation."
His expression screamed that he had seen right through their supposed scheme.
From his perspective, the arrangement was highly advantageous for the Aeldari, and he was already formulating every conceivable argument to persuade Isha to agree.
"WHAT UTTER FILTH ARE YOU SPOUTING!" Khorne's roar detonated like a million bolts of lightning in the confined space.
His blood-red psychic projection swelled to fill the room, a berserk killing intent so palpable it almost took physical form. "YOU VILE WEBBWAY RAT! YOUR MIND IS A SEWER OF ROTTEN IDEAS! I WILL TEAR OUT YOUR TONGUE AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!"
Axis's rebuttal was far more direct.
A sharp right cross connected squarely with the Laughing God's nose, twisting the feature sideways with a sickening crunch. He followed it with a brutal uppercut to the god's stomach, doubling him over like a shrimp, before driving a knee into Cegorach's face.
"Oh! Ouch, ah! Stop, please!" the Laughing God wheezed, "I will help you! I understand, Axis, there may have been a slight misunderstanding!" He finally seemed to realize he had misspoken.
"What is it you understand? You idiot!" Axis snarled, punctuating his words with another blow. "You are completely and utterly wrong! What goes on in that twisted mind of yours? I already have a wife, and I have no intention of taking another who is sixty million years my senior. AND I certainly am not interested in sharing a partner with anyone! I have tolerated your nonsense for far too long!"
"Excellent work, Axis!" Khorne's voice boomed with delight, his eyes glowing as he watched the brutal beatdown, "Hit the jester harder! Do not hold back!" It was a great shame, he mused, that he was only present as a psychic projection. He lacked a suitable physical form within the Webway; otherwise, he would have gleefully joined the fray.
After the savage pummelling, Cegorach lay bruised and battered on the floor, yet a wide grin remained plastered across his face. "Now, gentlemen," he said cheerfully, "since we are partners, I believe I am entitled to know a few more details. You must at least tell me what, precisely, you need Isha to do."
Axis stared down at him. "I get the feeling you said all that just to provoke a beating, didn't you? Must you really know the truth?"
"This is a tripartite alliance," Cegorach insisted, "Therefore, I must know the particulars. It is a matter of basic respect for an ally, is it not?" Axis had been right; Cegorach had indeed provoked them intentionally.
While his original theory seemed plausible, he had used it as a gambit to test their true intentions. Given their characters, he was certain he could pry the truth from them. It was his right as an ally, a position he could not afford to squander. Otherwise, he would forever be nothing more than a jester in their eyes, never a true partner.
Axis and Khorne exchanged a glance and then nodded in unison. They would need the trickster god's help to persuade Isha after rescuing her anyway, so there was little harm in revealing the plan to him now.
"Very well, we will speak plainly," Khorne announced, "Axis and I require Isha's help to plant a tree. A very unique and wondrous tree."
"Oh!" Cegorach's eyes darted back and forth. "If that is the case, then I believe I understand. You are referring to the Tree of Might, are you not, Axis? And its fruit?"
Axis conceded, "You may be a coward, Cegorach, but you are quick-witted. It is just as you suspect. We intend to cultivate a Tree of Might, a mystical plant I brought with me from another reality. It is also known as the Divine Tree, and its harvest is meant only for gods to consume. When grown on a mortal world, it yields the Fruit of Might. But when cultivated within a god's own domain, it produces the true Fruit of the Gods."
"Ah, I see it all now!" Cegorach exclaimed, "That explains everything! That is why you need the Goddess of Life! You intend to use her boundless life-giving energy to nurture this divine tree. And the soil you have chosen for this planting… it must be Khorne's own domain in the Warp, is it not?"
The sheer audacity of the concept was staggering, yet he had to admit, it was undeniably plausible. He was well aware of the powers of the Tree of Might's fruit.
To cultivate one using Axis's Ki, nourished by the divine power of both Khorne and Isha, and steeped in the raw, limitless energies of the Immaterium… the resulting fruit would possess a power beyond comprehension.
"So, are we clear now?" Axis asked, glaring at the bruised but grinning Cegorach. His expression made it clear that any further questions would be met with another thrashing.
"Perfectly!" Cegorach declared with an exaggerated bow.
The movement sent a jolt of pain through his battered body, causing him to grimace, but his grin never faltered. "I will accompany you when you leave. My bones have begun to rust from my long stay in the Webway, and our coordination will be much simpler this way. Besides…" A mad gleam shone from the eyes behind his mask. "I am already dying to prepare a truly hellish prank for that dear old Grandfather Nurgle, who so adores his little surprises!"
Ever since the birth of Slaanesh, Cegorach had been forced to hide within the labyrinthine corridors of the Webway. Though the Chaos Gods' birth was a relatively recent event in mortal terms, the nature of the Warp meant that a Chaos God existed across all of time simultaneously, present even before their own genesis.
But he had been hiding for long enough.
Now, the clown god brought his full focus and cunning to bear, meticulously refining every lethal detail of the rescue plan with Axis and Khorne.
And so, deep within the Black Library, an insane and audacious scheme to break into Nurgle's own domain, a plan concocted by a mortal, a god, and a jester, was finalized.
"Excellent," Khorne's projection rumbled, a sound of deep satisfaction. His crimson gaze swept over Axis and Cegorach. "Axis, keep a close watch on our 'ally.' Make sure he does not falter at a critical moment or… get carried away. Nurgle's Garden is no stage for theatrics."
"Rest assured, my lord Khorne, I am a consummate professional!" Cegorach declared, thumping his chest with bravado as if he had not just been soundly thrashed by Axis.
"You have half an hour to prepare. Then we depart," Axis stated before he and Khorne's projection left the room.
"Mortals and Chaos Gods… horticulture and deicide…" Cegorach mused quietly to himself after they had gone. "What a truly mad age, with even madder allies." He paused, then broke into a cackle. "But I love it! Ha! Oh, Mister Nurgle, your special delivery is already on its way!"
With his signature, manic grin fully restored, he scampered after them, ready for the deadly jest to begin.
Under Cegorach's command, a shimmering portal to the Webway yawned open. Axis stepped through, accompanied by his newest and most unpredictable allies: the Laughing God of the Aeldari and his attendant Harlequin troupe.
Together, they began their journey back to Solus Prime.
The entire endeavor had taken only a few days, and in that time, the final, decisive battle for Holy Terra had already begun to unfold.
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ps?