Morning mist drifted lazily over the Azure Cloud Sect.
In the herb garden, Whiskers lay curled on a giant mushroom, twitching his tail every few seconds. His eyes were closed. His breathing steady. He was, as usual, napping.
Then came the chirping.
Not just any chirping.
This was persistent, high-pitched, and laced with so much celestial qi it actually made the flower beside Whiskers bloom… then combust.
"CHIRP! Chirp-chirp-chirp! CHIRP!"
Whiskers groaned.
"…what now?"
He cracked one eye open.
Hovering in front of him, flapping furiously and glowing faintly gold, was a tiny bird.
Barely bigger than his paw.
It had orange feathers, a crest of blazing red, eyes like rubies—and wings tipped in golden fire.
Whiskers blinked. "What."
The chick puffed up its chest.
"Are you the Sovereign of Sleep?" it chirped. "The Dreaming Claw? The Lord of Divine Naps? The Destroyer of Demon Armies With a Stretch?!"
Whiskers blinked again. "You sound like a pamphlet."
"I am Fenghuang Xi-Xi, future Matriarch of the Phoenix Clan, and I wish to become your disciple!"
Whiskers stared.
"…Go away."
"I will not! I have journeyed through five provinces and avoided a band of beast-hunters to find you!"
"You're loud," he muttered.
"I have seen visions of you stretching atop heavenly trees! You destroyed a Nascent Soul elder with a sneeze! You are my destined teacher!"
"I don't teach," Whiskers said. "I nap. I occasionally vaporize threats when someone touches my fish."
"But I burned three scrolls just learning to flap right!"
"Should've read the air currents instead."
The chick deflated, flapping a little slower now. "Please… no one else will teach me. They say I'm too small. That I'm not ready."
Whiskers tilted his head. "How old are you?"
"Seventeen days."
"…Oh gods."
He should've turned her away.
He really should've.
But Xi-Xi didn't leave.
She tried to perch on his tail (which flared and flung her into a bush).
She followed him into the bathhouse (where she fell into a qi hot spring and emerged twice her size, then immediately deflated again).
She chirped in her sleep. She chirped in her flying. She chirped in his dreams.
After three days, Whiskers finally muttered, "Fine. You want to be a disciple? Your first trial is this: shut up."
Xi-Xi beamed. "I will chirp in my heart!"
"That's still chirping."
2. Training the Chick
To everyone's horror, Whiskers now had a disciple.
No one knew what that meant.
Was she a danger? Was she the next divine beast? Was she a spy from the Flaming Sky Nest Sect?
But Xi-Xi wasn't interested in them. She followed Whiskers everywhere.
"Master, what is the lesson of the sunbeam?"
"Position matters. Light equals heat equals nap potential."
"And the flower garden?"
"Soft spots. Hidden bugs. Try not to explode anything."
"And the koi pond?"
"Do not fall in while pretending to walk on water."
"Oops."
SPLASH.
Whiskers, despite himself, taught her more than anyone expected:
How to detect qi streams by lying on them and listening to the earth hum.
How to sharpen spirit senses by chasing dragonflies.
How to suppress killing intent with cute blinking.
By the end of the week, Xi-Xi could hover without combusting, make a spark without sneezing, and successfully steal steamed buns without alerting a single disciple.
Whiskers was almost proud.
Then she woke him up before dawn for "feather meditation."
He nearly vaporized her.
3. Trouble in the Sky
Word of Whiskers' new "student" reached the Spirit Beast Realm quickly.
And not everyone was happy.
Especially not the Crimson Nest Elders, proud rulers of the phoenix clans.
"She is sacred!" they cried. "Our flame heir! Taught by a CAT?!"
"That's not a cat," Liuying the Serpent Sage murmured from the shadows. "That's the Nap God. The White Tiger Cub. And he's training her to be… unstoppable."
"Impossible!"
And so, they sent emissaries.
Six proud phoenix warriors with flaming spears and pearl-studded crests descended on the Azure Cloud Sect in a blaze of glory and noise.
"Return the chick," the lead one thundered, "or suffer skyfire wrath!"
Whiskers, mid-yawn, blew out their flames with a breath and knocked them into a puddle.
Xi-Xi chirped happily. "Master defeated six phoenix warriors with a yawn! Again!"
Whiskers growled. "That wasn't a yawn. That was indigestion."
After the second failed attempt, the Phoenix Elders relented.
"Fine," they grumbled. "Let the cub train her… for now. But if she returns uncooked, we'll know who to blame."
Whiskers rolled his eyes. "I'm not burning the chick."
---------------------
Bonus Lore: The Divine Beast Bloodlines
By Elder Mei, Compiled on Scrolls Now Clawed by a Certain Cat
The Four Sacred Clans
Bai Hu (White Tiger)
Element: Metal / Divine Wind
Territory: West
Symbol of judgment, clarity, and spiritual discipline.
Known to yawn entire battlefields into dust.
Current descendant: Whiskers (currently asleep).
Zhu Que (Vermillion Bird / Phoenix)
Element: Fire
Territory: South
Known for rebirth, celestial flame, and overly dramatic screeching.
Bloodlines include spiritual heat control and revival flames.
Current chick: Fenghuang Xi-Xi (in training).
Xuan Wu (Black Tortoise & Serpent)
Element: Water / Earth
Territory: North
Guardians of deep memory, time pools, and defensive might.
Can deflect fate if sufficiently bribed with moss.
Qing Long (Azure Dragon)
Element: Wood / Lightning
Territory: East
The regal bloodline of motion, evolution, and occasional rainstorms for dramatic entrances.
Bloodline Traits:
Innate Qi Resonance: Divine beasts warp local qi just by existing. Naps taken by a Bai Hu descendant can cause entire provinces to bloom.
Instinctual Dao Insight: Divine beasts learn passively. They absorb understanding just by "being"—especially through rest, dreamwalking, and chewing on relics.
Aura of Dominion: Mortal beasts—and some cultivators—submit instinctively to their will. This effect intensifies if the divine beast is annoyed, hungry, or sleepy.
Divine Laws as Recorded by Bai Hu Himself:
"He who naps last, naps best."
"If food is offered, it must be warm."
"Interrupt me once, lose your voice.
Interrupt me twice, lose your life."
"If you step on my tail, the heavens will split."
The last law is etched into three broken mountain ranges and one very confused volcano.
🐾 Whiskers' Notes (Clawed into the margins):
Bai Hu bloodline is not responsible for any earthquakes unless explicitly confirmed.
1. Do NOT feed the phoenix chick spicy beans again.
2. Avoid the Azure Dragon on windy days—he gets moody.
3. If someone offers "training scrolls," check if they're edible first.
4. Naps are sacred. Interruption is a cosmic offense.