Chapter 61
Precise performance is a courtesy to the composer. But the pianist's emotions fluctuate greatly while playing. And it becomes a wave, overlapping once, twice, and finally reaching the listener. So there is a big difference between emotional performance and mechanical performance.
Junwoo's gaze fell on Soo-hyun, who was sitting in front of the piano, playing the first movement, Grave - Allegro di molto e con brio. The two repeating parts began to play in contrasting tones. Professor Lee Chan-ho had seen Soo-hyun practice a lot, so he was not surprised that he showed emotion from the second performance. But Junwoo was different. Professor Lee Chan-ho saw Junwoo waving his clenched fist.
'This child, I sense it. What's different…?'
It was amazing that Junwoo could feel that at his age.
'This boy must be very talented. Of course, that's why he could get in here… Junwoo's breathing rate is significantly reduced. He's at maximum concentration.'
Professor Lee Chan-ho, who confirmed that Junwoo was seeing and hearing correctly, closed his eyes and concentrated on the story Soo-hyun was telling. A story that approached with a very different feeling from the first movement played a while ago spread through the practice room through poetry.
If you observe your mind,I had this thought.This is how I feel.I just feel this way.The practice of just letting it be,Am I not allowed to do it?
It might get messed up,It might change.Don't express it in a calm way,Don't even laugh, don't cry,Unable to control and exaggerating.Always blocking me, put me on the path.I was like a lost calf, dazed.I'm waiting for you to move me again.
Junwoo, who was listening to the first movement, began to tremble as if struck by lightning. After finishing the first movement, Soo-hyun took a few seconds to catch his breath before moving on to the second movement, Adagio Cantabile. Junwoo looked at Professor Lee Chan-ho in surprise. The boy's gaze was filled with questions, "Is that what you just said?", but Lee Chan-ho quietly closed his eyes and only listened to the story Soo-hyun was telling him. The second movement conveyed a beautiful melody, a sad but beautiful and empty feeling.
After suffering for a long time,Now the suffering has become my path.As the wind shakes the trees,The wind shakes me.Pain and suffering shake me and make way for me.When you twist and break me,The stars that look at you do not know your pain.I am sick.But I know.That cut grass has a stronger scent.As the rich aroma of life emanates from the wounds of the grass,Instead of screaming, I smell.Drunk on the music that my wounds emit.Maybe I think my scars are beautiful.
Junwoo clutched his left chest. The poem of a man who approached and spoke calmly contained the emptiness of a man who had experienced all kinds of pain and was now used to it and walked with it. Junwoo opened his eyes and shed a tear.
'What the hell! What kind of person are you to play like that?'
Soo-hyun, reflected in Junwoo's eyes, entered the third movement, Rondo Allegro. A performer, drunk on emotion, would sway their body from side to side naturally. But Soo-hyun's body did not move at all. It was as if a robot with a pianist's AI was playing the song, but the sad poems about Soo-hyun's performance were clearly engraved in the ears.
My ego.I had something to tell you.I still can't open my eyes,Words that have not yet been able to be spoken on our lips.I love you.It does not reach the ears of your soul.Even if it breaks in the air,Just shaking the branches for no reason,Come back to me, standing still as if rooted.Even if I end up crying alone.Still, it must be done.Maybe you and I too,If we were born together in another world,We could become two flowers facing each other.At that time, let's hold hands and live together.
Soo-hyun felt the tremor of the last note. At some point, Soo-hyun began to understand others through music. The ego that Beethoven struggled with his whole life. He could feel the extreme pain he felt because of it. The title, Pathétique, meant that the heart was very sad. Soo-hyun understood this song and the sadness that Beethoven felt throughout his life.
'You must have had a very hard time. I feel like I should do better. I understand the score you gave me better than anyone, and I will repay you by playing it perfectly. I think that maybe I could be the other half of the flower that Beethoven dreamed of.'
Professor Lee Chan-ho opened his eyes and looked at Junwoo. He was clutching his chest and his face was contorted. However, there was no longer any jealousy or inferiority complex on the boy's face. It was a face that sympathized with the deep sadness of Soo-hyun's performance. The professor smiled brightly and asked in a low voice.
"Did you listen well?"
"…"
Junwoo looked at Professor Lee Chan-ho with his eyes full of tears.
'Did the professor hear that too?'
"What?"
"A moving poem that Soo-hyun discarded."
The professor smiled.
"Yes, I heard it. I don't know if you and I heard the same poem."
Junwoo's eyes widened.
'Did the professor hear it too? Since it wasn't the professor who was reciting the poem, I thought it was normal for me to be hallucinating, but did he hear it too?'
"What was the… content?"
Professor Lee Chan-ho said, crossing his arms.
"Beethoven's pieces have many titles. However, he only gave his own name to two: Pathétique and Les Adieux, which Soo-hyun performed. This piece was completed in 1799. That means Beethoven was in his late twenties. The introduction of the first movement is marked with the word 'Grave.' As you may know, it means 'very slow and majestically'."
Chan-ho Lee smiled and stood up when he saw Soo-hyun, who had opened his eyes and was listening to the explanation with Junwoo.
"Part A conveys a feeling of dark passion, while Part B conveys a winged sadness. The second movement is very famous. It has a beautiful main melody. It's also a famous melody taken from the popular pop song 'Midnight Blue' from the 80s. You could say it's a story about painfully holding on to a wound. The last third movement is fast. It's a rondo-form movement. Perhaps it's a quiet self-confession of someone who remembers a past in which they felt deep pain?"
Junwoo flinched.
'It's the same as the poem I heard!'
Junwoo's eyes widened even more. It was the same this time. His trembling eyes fell on Soo-hyun. His pale face still looked sad. Junwoo's body gradually lost its strength. He had never practiced like this. He just focused on his technique. He liked the thrill of playing a difficult piece and felt proud of himself for playing a piece that other children his age couldn't even play.
'How can I become like that? When I receive the sheet music, if I first research the background with which the composer created it, what his situation was, and what he wanted to convey, can I become like Soo-hyun?'
At that moment, Professor Lee Chan-ho added his comments.
"For your information, Soo-hyun received this piece recently. In other words, he played it without knowing about Beethoven's situation beforehand."
Junwoo's body lost all its strength.
'He didn't do any preliminary research. Do you know how great that is, Professor?'
Professor Lee Chan-ho, who received a helpless look, warmly patted Junwoo's shoulder.
"Do it anyway. In twenty years, you'll be more disappointed by what you didn't do than by what you did. Fate approaches those who rush in with their desires openly, rather than those who approach coolly."
Professor Lee Chan-ho looked at Soo-hyun along with Junwoo and said.
"This is the path of genius versus genius."
Soo-hyun tilted his head. His expression seemed to ask, "Who are you talking to, Professor? You wouldn't be talking about me, would you?"
Professor Lee Chan-ho smiled. Now, all he had left to do was pray that Junwoo's reaction would be positive. Junwoo looked at Soo-hyun. His eyes were so weak that he could no longer look at him. Junwoo looked at Soo-hyun and spoke carefully in a completely different tone than before.
"Soo-hyun."
"Oh, tell me."
Soo-hyun's eyes shone. They were eyes that welcomed the possibility of having his first same-sex friend, but Junwoo felt completely defeated by that look.
'A cold person, ruled by feelings of inferiority and jealousy. But Soo-hyun treats me so warmly. I've lost my skills and my heart.'
Junwoo said, scratching his head for no reason.
"If there's something you don't know while you're practicing, can you ask me?"
Soo-hyun raised both his arms and laughed brightly.
"Of course! Should I give you my phone number?"
He smiled brightly as he entered his phone number on the phone that Junwoo timidly held out. Professor Lee Chan-ho, who was watching them, crossed his arms with a big smile.
'Teacher Kim Eun-ju, it seems you were right.'
- - - -
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