Chapter 63
"Haha, Teacher Kim Eun-joo! As expected, you're an expert. Everything you said was true. Junwoo is changing every day. He's stuck to Soo-hyun, practicing, asking questions, and improving."
In Professor Lee Chan-ho's office, Kim Eun-joo was sitting on the sofa, smiling.
"They didn't fight or throw punches, did they?"
"Haha, it's possible. Junwoo gave in after watching Soo-hyun practice."
"Great! It will be a mutually beneficial relationship."
"It already is. Soo-hyun teaches German and English, and Junwoo teaches other subjects. We've also submitted applications to participate in the Beethoven Competition. If Soo-hyun joins us, can't we expect Junwoo to get good grades?"
As Kim Eun-joo smiled brightly, Professor Lee Chan-ho snapped his fingers and said.
"You told me that Junwoo would try harder to catch up to Soo-hyun, and that those would be the feathers that would grow on the boy's wings. It was effective! You're really amazing!"
Professor Lee Chan-ho kept praising her until his mouth was dry. As an educator, he seemed to be very happy to have received advice from a psychologist and a doctor and to have gotten good results. Eun-joo Kim just smiled without saying anything.
"By the way, Professor, how is your class going?"
Eun-joo Kim's face turned slightly red as she remembered the incident at the haunted house where she recently went for a horror experience.
"Well, things are going pretty well."
"Are there any difficult parts?"
"It's not that Soo-hyun doesn't know emotions, but he doesn't know how to define them. He'll be able to define them naturally as he goes through life. I'll just help him. Also, it's fun to analyze Soo-hyun's emotional state and learn about his past."
Professor Lee Chan-ho's expression changed.
"Past?"
"Yes. All conversations with Soo-hyun are recorded. We analyze them separately in the lab. According to the data, it seems that Soo-hyun grew up as a child who received a lot of love."
"Love… right? He said he lost his parents and lived with a complete stranger for seven years. It's a real blessing that a child like that was loved and raised."
Kim Eun-joo said, adjusting her glasses.
"That's right. At least, he was loved and raised by someone who treated him with the same feelings as his parents or relatives. He's a child with great emotional sensitivity, even if he doesn't know how to define them."
"That's great. Well, aren't you going to tell me what kind of people you've been living with?"
"Well, I already told you, but maybe we didn't realize it."
Professor Lee Chan-ho tilted his head.
"What does that mean?"
"Well, I don't know. Soo-hyun is a child who always piques my curiosity. That's why it's fun."
'If it were normal, I would have slapped Kim Eun-joo for saying that Soo-hyun was funny. But after recognizing Kim Eun-joo as an expert because of the incident with Junwoo, I realized that what Kim Eun-joo said about Soo-hyun being funny was just an excuse to pay more attention to him.'
"Please take good care of me."
"I'll do my best."
"Are you going to meet Soo-hyun?"
"Yes, I guess I should go now."
"Then please work hard today too."
Small classroom. Eun-joo Kim, sitting across from Soo-hyun, asked.
"I heard you're going to the Beethoven Competition with your friend?"
Soo-hyun smiled. It was because of the word "friend" that Eun-ju Kim said.
"Yes, ma'am."
Eun-joo Kim smiled and asked after seeing the change in Soo-hyun's expression.
"You must be happy. I don't think it's because you're going to the competition."
"Yes, it's good to have friends."
"Really? Are you a good friend?"
"He's a devil when he's teaching math, but otherwise he's fine."
"Hahaha. Are you learning math from your friend?"
"In return, I'll teach you German and English."
"Wow, what a great relationship! We can help each other."
"Yes, Jaehee really doesn't like it."
"Huh? Who's Jaehee?"
"She's my friend from school and lives downstairs. She's a girl."
"Really? Why would Jaehee hate it?"
"I don't know, because she doesn't talk much. But I get the feeling she doesn't like me."
Kim Eun-joo's eyes turned into crescent moons.
"Really? Can you tell me more about Jaehee?"
Soo-hyun had an expression on his face that said, 'Why is the teacher curious about Jaehee?', but he explained Jaehee's actions in detail. Teacher Kim Eun-ju, who smiled the whole time she was listening, told everything she remembered about Jaehee, even if it was suspicious.
"I see. You're a good friend. You like me, Soo-hyun. It's good to have a friend like that by your side. I would do anything for you without expecting anything in return. If you don't love, you can't do that. How do you feel, Soo-hyun? Do you like being with Jaehee?"
Soo-hyun shrugged when he noticed that the professor's face had a strange expression as she kept laughing.
"It's just comfortable being with Jaehee."
"Haha, really? I understand. What are you studying today? You're not going back to the haunted house like last time, are you?"
"I'm sorry. I was wrong. And I think you've already experienced some of that fear. Today, I'd like to study anger in detail."
"Yes, ma'am."
During the class, Eun-ju Kim would tell Soo-hyun to draw a picture or instruct him to close his eyes and meditate. As Soo-hyun took out the necessary supplies and brought them in front of her, Kim Eun-joo spoke as if she were listening.
"What do you think anger is?"
"If you're asking for the dictionary definition, it refers to a negative emotional state that arises when our desires are blocked or we are forced to do something to resist them."
Soo-hyun recited academic content that could only be found in dictionaries. Kim Eun-joo said, shaking her head.
"Soo-hyun is asking you what you think."
A thought crossed Soo-hyun's mind. He remembered the moment when he blushed and tried to tear the two boys to pieces.
'Mr. Beethoven said, "That's anger." But is it okay to say that?'
"Honestly?"
"Yes, it's okay."
"I want to tear you to pieces and kill you. So cruelly that not a single piece is left in the world."
"…what?"
Kim Eun-joo's face was filled with surprise. But Soo-hyun's expression was calm. That was even stranger. Soo-hyun said, tilting his head slightly to the side.
"But I have learned that while there are always reasons for anger, there are rarely just causes. Anger steals a person's true nature."
Kim Eun-joo looked even more surprised.
'Does this child have another teacher besides her?'
"I don't think I should get angry at others' stupidity and ruin my heart. When others do wrong, it's their misfortune. Therefore, I should feel sorry for them. I should keep it in my heart and not resent, blame, or make myself suffer. It would be foolish to forget the joy in my heart because others are evil."
"…"
'How can I tell you more? You already know perfectly well. Did you see it in a book?'
"No, I was just honestly telling you how I felt."
"…"
This little boy, who couldn't even accurately define what anger was, knew the wisdom of old people who lived long lives and realized that anger was useless.
'How should I explain this?'
"Ah, right."
This was teacher Kim Eun-ju, who was always pushing up her glasses. Kim Eun-ju looked blankly at the materials she was going to ask us to study today.
'It's all useless. What good is this material to a child who already knows everything and knows how to live?''The education on fear has failed, and the educational materials on anger have become useless.'
"Ha ha ha..."
'I just started class, what else do I have to teach? I can't hide my confusion.'
At that moment, Soo-hyun asked the question first.
"Teacher, do you know anything about Beethoven?"
'Oh, this boy, you said he was going to the Beethoven Competition, right?'
"So, of course I know."
"Ji-ye noona told me that Beethoven was very ill. Do you know anything else about him?"
A strange light appeared in Kim Eun-joo's eyes.
'This is it!'
Kim Eun-joo said with a faint smile.
"Yes, if you want to talk about anger, there's no better textbook than Beethoven."
"…?"
"A republican who dedicated his famous Third Symphony to Napoleon, but, disappointed, tore up the score when he became emperor; a hero who overcame the difficulties of fate, such as poverty and hearing loss; an artist who spent his last years in solitude, ignored by the public because of his complex piano sonatas and string quartets. This is the Beethoven we know, but his true self was, in fact, different."
Kim Eun-joo said, pushing aside the materials she had prepared.
"I am a scholar. What I am about to tell you is an achievement of Western musicology, which has been collecting historical material on Beethoven for a long time and delicately reconstructing his life. Anton Schindler, Beethoven's secretary and author of a biography of him published in 1840, destroyed Beethoven's personal dialogue notebook to glorify him. This fact was discovered in the 1970s by a team of criminologists from Humboldt University of Berlin. In fact, if you look closely, you can see that he tore up the Third Symphony, which had the word 'Bonapartism' written on it, after Napoleon's ascension to the throne. He was not a republican. The main reason Beethoven decided not to associate his symphony with Napoleon was the change in the political situation. Austria, where he lived, was at war with France, and if he had praised the emperor of the enemy country, he would have been socially ostracized."
Soo-hyun asked.
"How do you know?"
"It has been confirmed that when a French envoy visited Vienna, Germany, a few years later, Beethoven praised Napoleon's ascension to the throne and asked if he could be granted a title of nobility. I'm not saying this to denigrate Beethoven. I just think you have to know him well to be able to judge him."
"Please explain."
"Respect for a musician is due to his music, not his life. Beethoven was very unhappy. He had to feel anger. But he, who is called the saint of music, did not convey it to his music. That's why he remained a great musician."
Kim Eun-joo said, tapping the table with a pen.
"Beethoven's mother was widowed at 21 and remarried. His father, a mediocre tenor, couldn't make ends meet. A neighbor once commented that he had never seen Beethoven's mother smile. Unlike his mother, who raised her children with all her might despite living in poverty, his father drank heavily. When he came home in the middle of the night, he used to hit Beethoven while he was sleeping, wake him up, and force him to practice the piano in the middle of the night. Then he discovered his talent. He saw that prodigies like Mozart were making a lot of money, and he taught him to play instruments by force to raise him that way."
Kim Eun-joo shook her head.
"It is said that his father lied about his age two years before Beethoven entered his first competition to boast of being a prodigy like Mozart. As a result, Beethoven, who was eight, was known worldwide as if he were six. Beethoven became famous and soon began to earn money, but his father squandered it on alcohol. As a result, the family sank into even greater decline."
Soo-hyun frowned. It was vague, but in his memory, his father worked very hard. In the summer, his sweat would spread like salt on his T-shirt, making it look like white dust.
'Uncle Beethoven's father was too much.'
"They say Beethoven laughed at his father's funeral. I don't know if he laughed with joy or frustration. Maybe, maybe…"
Kim Eun-joo said as she looked into Soo-hyun's eyes.
"I think what tormented Beethoven throughout his life was none other than 'music' itself, which his father forced him to start."
Soo-hyun's eyes widened.
- - - -
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