Author's Pov....
Ren was starting to think he might just be the happiest madman alive.
His life? Never boring.
His husband? A mystery box that kept gifting him new versions of chaos.
His heart? Well… it was kind of soft now. Somehow, he had accepted all of Evan's personalities—even when they dragged him out of bed at dawn or declared random tax raids on their own house.
Maybe… maybe he'd gone crazy too. But who cared?
Ren smiled to himself as he lounged under the bright summer sun in their sprawling garden. The sky was painted with the softest shades of blue, cotton clouds drifting lazily, while the fresh scent of roses mixed with the faint sea breeze from the nearby beach.
Just as he picked up his chilled lemonade, a shadow loomed over him.
"You!" a deep, rugged voice boomed. "You scallywag! I've finally caught my treasure!"
Ren blinked up, his jaw nearly dislocating from how wide it dropped.
There stood Evan—or more precisely, yet another Evan.
Long pirate coat, open shirt showing his muscled chest, gold earrings sparkling under the sun, rugged boots, and a real sword strapped at his side. Oh, and a parrot. A real parrot on his shoulder.
"What… now?" Ren mumbled, almost in awe of his own life choices.
The pirate smirked, bowing dramatically. "Captain Rylan Vallen, at your service, love. I've been searching the seas for the greatest treasure—ye."
"…I—You can't just—" Ren stammered, feeling his cheeks heat up. "Evan, what is this now? Pirate day? Halloween? Did you hit your head?"
"Pirate? Who is Evan?" Rylan narrowed his eyes playfully. "I'm Captain Rylan, and you, my sweet, belong to my treasure chest."
The parrot on his shoulder squawked. "Treasure! Treasure!"
Ren slapped his forehead. This could not be real. His life had officially crossed into some wild fever dream.
"I'm sorry," Ren muttered to the sky, "but what chapter of my life did I accidentally step into?"
Before he could run, Rylan scooped him up in bridal style.
"Wha—Hey! Put me down!"
"Nay, I be taking my treasure to my ship," Rylan declared, confidently marching toward the pool.
"That's not a ship! That's a pool! A normal pool!" Ren panicked, kicking his legs, "You're not seriously going to—"
"Walk the plank!" Rylan cheered, tossing him in.
Ren resurfaced, coughing, drenched, and sputtering in disbelief. "You maniac! I'm gonna drown one day because of you!"
Rylan dove in after him, grinning, slicking back his hair as water dripped from his sharp jawline. "You can't drown, love. You float in my heart."
Ren wanted to cry. Or laugh. Or punch him. Maybe all three.
"Do you… have to flirt while I'm soaking wet and miserable?" Ren groaned, climbing out of the pool.
Rylan climbed out after him and promptly snatched Ren's half-eaten cookie from the table. "A pirate takes what he wants, treasure included."
Ren's eye twitched. "Did you… just steal my cookie?!"
Before he could scold him, Rylan stole a quick kiss, lips brushing softly against Ren's cheek. "And your sweet lips. Stolen, claimed, mine."
The parrot mimicked again, "Mine! Mine!"
Ren swore this was the most chaotic marriage the universe had ever witnessed. But strangely, he was laughing. Like, really laughing—the kind that made his stomach ache in the best way.
Maybe he liked this version of Evan too. Maybe… he liked all of them.
As the sun began to set, painting the sky in orange and pink hues, they sat side by side by the pool. Ren rested his chin on his knees, dripping wet, while Rylan sat with one leg propped up, swinging his pirate hat lazily.
"Hey, Cap'n," Ren called out, smirking. "How many more of you are hiding in there?"
Rylan winked. "Only the sea knows, love. Only the sea knows."
Ren sighed. My Husband is a Pirate Now!
But this time, his sigh carried a smile. Maybe… he wouldn't mind meeting the rest.