The new day dawned, a broken blade of light cutting through the suffocating darkness of my room. Just as I was about to put on my uniform, a second skin of duty and death, Alleyne came in. She handed me a report on Major Ederich von nacht, a Zeon ace pilot also known as "The Fool of Zeon". His emblem was a jester from a tarot card, a mockery of our war. The report detailed his lethal hit-and-run tactics and noted that he had single-handedly caused a North American base to fall using his MSM-03 Gogg, an amphibious mobile suit. I had already encountered him, and his memory was etched in the wreckage of my GM Spartan.
A siren blared, a sound that had become the soundtrack of my life, and we all gathered in the briefing room. General Revil announced that our squad, the "Noisy Fairy squad," had a new code name: "Witch". He said the name was a reflection of the capabilities and damage we had inflicted on the Federation. He also mentioned another squad, "Midnight Fenrir," which the Trojan Horse had encountered. Finally, he brought up Ederich, the pilot who had destroyed my mobile suit. Revil stated that Jaburo, the main Federation base on Earth, was Zeon's next target and that the Trojan Horse was there as well. He expressed hope that we could destroy Zeon forces to bring peace back to Earth. Some units would head to Zeon bases to prevent them from reaching Jaburo.
My mobile suit was a mangled ruin. Michael Colmatta's orders were a bitter pill: I could either get a new one or customize my own. I loathed the mass-produced Gundam Ground Type because its backpack restricted movement and its lack of maneuverability felt like a death sentence. Suddenly, Sam called me to the hangar. I saw his own GM Spartan in my mobile suit's dock, undergoing a weight-reduction customization. He was giving it to me. "You're giving up your GM Spartan and giving it to me?" I asked, surprised. He explained that I handled the GM Spartan better and that he wanted to know what it was like to pilot a Gundam before the big war. "From a GM to a Gundam," I said, a bitter echo of Lilith Aiden's journey. He had even finished sketching a total makeover for the mobile suit based on our mock battle, and it would be ready in two days. While my GM Spartan was being customized, the available substitute mobile suits were a grim list of alternatives: the RX-79[G] Mass Production Gundam Ground Type, RGM-79[G] GM Ground Type, RGM-79L GM Light Armor, RX-75 Guntank, and RX-77-2 Guncannon.
Just then, a Medea Late-Type transport arrived. To my surprise, I met Aaron Smith again. He was the one who had given me XiangLei's diary. XiangLei, my long-lost best friend, had been Killed In Action (KIA) in Chicago as part of an anti-mobile suit squad, and the memory of her body being cut in half still haunted me. Aaron told me her body was buried in her hometown of Shoufeng, Hualien, in Taiwan. Her parents were devastated, and Aaron felt sorry for her too. He described her as a kind and strong person who always wrote in her diary about her daily life and journey. He had even read her diary before her final mission. She wrote about our friendship, a friendship that had soured, leaving only the bitter taste of regret after her death. Aaron was staying at the base because the transport needed a long time for refueling, maintenance, and resupplying. He politely invited me to a bar in the city to talk more about our friendship with XiangLei. His eyes weren't leering like those of other men at the base; they held a different kind of darkness.
Before I could accept, Alleyne approached me in a hurry, saying I had another mission from Renato in New Mexico. He said I had to go alone, a calculated move and a venomous challenge. To my surprise, Aaron wanted to join me, even though he was from a different Federation base. I had no choice but to pilot the despised RX-79[G] Mass Production Gundam Ground Type as my substitute mobile suit. Alleyne would be my operator inside the Medea, while Aaron and I would head to New Mexico in our mobile suits. It was a mission for two units: a Lieutenant from the Black Dog squad and a Captain from another base. Our objective was to intercept Zeon forces who were cutting off Federation supply lines. A cold dread settled in my stomach; I was worried that Ederich might appear again since it was just the two of us. I felt Renato was a monster for sending me on a mission like this.
When we arrived, our Gundam backpacks were equipped with weapon containers. Instead of the 180mm cannon, mine had a beam rifle and a missile launcher. I didn't care what Aaron was carrying, but it looked the same. As we moved to the destination, I noticed the cockpit had a wider screen than the GM Spartan, allowing me to see everything. We reached our destination and found seven Zaku I units and six Magellan-Attack tanks. "Renato gave you this mission, huh? He's insane," Aaron said. "He is," I replied. "He got really pissed when I got promoted. It seems he doesn't want me to surpass him". Aaron's words were a grim prophecy: "He's just afraid of you, Lydia. The same thing happened with the Zeon witches". We took on the mission and finished it without breaking a sweat, a symphony of violence. The Zaku I and Magellan-Attack units were no match for us. Aaron took down the Zaku I with his skill.
Afterward, Aaron wanted to take me to the city to show me the world outside of the military and learn about my past. The Medea would take our mobile suits back to the base and pick us up the next morning. He seemed to want to "fix" me for a whole day. I felt a new kind of gaze in the city. Many men seemed jealous, as if we were a couple. Their stares were not the predatory gazes I was used to; it was a simple jealousy, as if I had a boyfriend. He took me to stores, a shopping arcade, and many Mexican culinary spots, a grotesque parody of a date. He genuinely wanted to fix me, unlike other men who just saw me as an object for pleasure.
We had a great time until evening, when we sat in a park to watch the sunset bleed across the sky. I decided to ask him why he was so enthusiastic about helping me. "XiangLei's final request, Lydia," he said, his voice a ghost. "She told me something was wrong with you after she met you, and she wanted me to fix you". He nodded. "Before her mission with you, she said you had changed a lot and were like a broken toy". She had told him that my personality had changed after the fire at my house and that she wanted him to fix me. "I see... so that was her final message to you..." I said, the words tasting like ash. He told me he felt sorry for her, for the strong-willed soldier who was my friend. His words and feelings were different from any other man I had met, and they made my heart race because he was doing this for XiangLei's sake. I held his hand, looked into his face, and kissed him passionately. Then, I told him what had really happened to me, and he understood. I made a small request, and we went to a love motel. We made out and made love, and I told him it was my safe day.
Making love with Aaron felt completely different from my time as a prostitute before joining the Federation. He was different from the clients I used to kill. Because of XiangLei, I didn't want to end his life. He truly wanted to fix and change me for her, and I was the one giving him pleasure. We didn't care that we were at war; we made love until morning. In the morning, we woke up naked. When he looked at me, his face blushed bright red like an apple, a bright red apple of embarrassment. His reaction was so funny that I giggled, as I never expected a soldier like him to be so embarrassed. We bathed together and put on our uniforms. The Medea transport picked us up from the city, and we headed back to my base, sitting side-by-side. It was a bit awkward, so Aaron started a conversation to break the ice. He asked me if I had a cell phone. I stuttered that I didn't, not since I was an outcast before I joined the Federation. He said, "You know what? When we get back to your base, please follow me, Lydia. I'll give you one". He told me not to worry, that he had a spare I could have.
When we finally got back to the base, he led me to his Medea and grabbed a box. He gave me a cell phone so we could stay in touch, even though we were at different bases. He said he'd be busy but would always answer my calls and texts. He taught me how to use the phone, from making a contact to sending a text. After he was done, he left for his base. I reported to Michael Colmatta, telling him Aaron had joined me on the mission and had taken me out of the base until morning. Strangely, he seemed fine with it. I then went to the hangar to check on my GM Spartan, which was still being worked on by Sam and other mechanics.
On my way to my room, I saw Alleyne crying alone on her bed in the barrack. I approached her and asked what was wrong. Sobbing, she said, "I just... I just missed my parents". "I see," I said, sitting next to her to comfort her. "That's tough for a 15-year-old girl like you". She asked if I missed my parents sometimes. "I can't say I miss my family, Alleyne," I replied. "When I was your age, my life was messed up with a broken home and physical abuse". I still hated my parents for ruining me. She apologized, and I told her to tell me what her parents were like. She told me everything, her sobs finally ending. She came from a happy, middle-class family with two older sisters. Her parents loved her, and her grandfather, an admiral in the Federation in Canada, had told her she had the skills of a Newtype. Unlike her, my parents' lives were a mess when I was 15. My mother divorced my father because she found our family life boring and was interested in another man. My father had a mental breakdown and sexually abused me. I killed him when I was 17 and killed my mother, her new man, and her son when I was 20. I also wondered what happened to the baby I sold to a couple who couldn't get pregnant when I was a prostitute. I hoped she was living a better life. I decided I might ask Barry for his help with her, a small, futile act of kindness in a world of cruelty.
After I comforted Alleyne, I walked out of the barrack and headed to the simulator room. I passed Renato, and we just walked away without a word. We were like rivals or enemies from the same faction, each with our own way of doing missions. This war was a crucible, a fire that would show who was the best and who could survive. I felt my old self was finally back, a grim resurrection, the one who was ready for violence, blood, and war. I was back.
To Be Continued.