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If I had a thousand won for every time I regretted going to school, I could've bought a small apartment in Seoul by now.
But this time…
This time was special.
Because this was the day I found out that our homeroom teacher is not what he seems.
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First Period: Math and Madness
Mr. Park walked in, sipping his convenience store coffee like it was the nectar of life. He slammed his briefcase on the desk like he was challenging it to a duel.
"Good morning, class," he grumbled. "Let's review yesterday's quiz results."
> "If even one of these trolls got above 90, I'm retiring and opening a chicken shop."
I coughed loudly to cover my laugh.
He flipped through papers, adjusted his glasses, and paused.
"Kim Ji-Hoon… 98?"
The entire class turned toward me.
"Eh… I got lucky?" I mumbled.
> "No way. He sits next to Jun-Pyo, who still counts with fingers."
> "He must've paid a shaman."
> "Is he dating the math teacher's daughter?"
Voices. So many voices. Buzz buzz buzz.
Mr. Park narrowed his eyes at me.
> "That punk used a cheat code. I can feel it. Next quiz, I'll mix the questions with ancient Greek."
Great. Next time I'd need a degree in archaeology to survive math.
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Second Period: P.E. – Pain Edition
Let's talk about P.E..
I hate it. It hates me. We have a mutual agreement to ruin each other's lives.
Our P.E. teacher, Coach Jung, is built like a refrigerator and shouts like a military drill sergeant who failed theater school.
"Today! 100 push-ups, 20 laps, and dodgeball!"
Why?
Because it's Monday, and Coach Jung enjoys watching teenagers suffer.
We started with warm-ups.
> "If I fake a leg cramp, will he let me sit out?"
> "If I collapse now, maybe someone will carry me bridal-style."
> "I should've eaten three breakfasts."
These were actual thoughts from my classmates.
Then I accidentally made eye contact with Coach Jung.
"Ji-Hoon! You're on ball duty!"
"What—"
He chucked the dodgeball at me. I caught it. Barely.
> "Let's see if that brainiac can dodge as well as he cheats."
The game started.
Chaos.
Balls flew like missiles. Screams echoed across the gym. Jun-Pyo tripped over his own shoelace and crashed into a bench.
Then it happened.
The ball hit me.
In the face.
From Minji.
> "Oops. Was that his head? Meh. Could've been worse."
Could've been worse?! I saw my ancestors waving.
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After P.E.: The Locker Room of Secrets
I sat in the corner of the locker room, holding a cold water bottle to my cheek.
> "Maybe I should apologize… No, that would make it weird."
— Minji, tying her hair in front of the mirror.
She peeked at me for half a second. I turned away like she was Medusa.
> "He's kind of cute when he's confused and bruised. WAIT. DELETE THAT THOUGHT."
My brain: error. system crash. blue screen.
Meanwhile, Coach Jung walked past us, muttering.
> "I swear, if these kids break another volleyball, I'm stealing the school budget and running off to Jeju Island."
Good to know our teachers are stable.
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The Final Blow: The Teacher's True Secret
After school, I stopped by the faculty lounge to return a lost USB I found near the water cooler.
I opened the door and froze.
Mr. Park. Alone. Watching something on his laptop.
No… not lecture videos. Not news.
K-drama fanfiction.
He was giggling.
> "YES! Cha Eun-Woo fell for the single mother! I KNEW IT!"
He clutched a pillow to his chest like a teenage girl in 2006.
I quietly dropped the USB and backed away.
> "If anyone finds out I write fanfics under the username 'MathBae88', I'm doomed."
Too late, sir.
Too late.
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That Night
At home, I stared at the ceiling again.
Me: "So my teacher writes fanfiction… My PE teacher wants to flee to Jeju… My crush gave me a concussion… My sister's in love with a butterfly-fearing gamer… and I'm the only one who knows all of it."
> "Welcome to reality, Ji-Hoon. No refunds."
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