Over the time me and Ara broke up she found herself an okay boyfriend and even though I wanted her to be happy I couldn't help but wish she was back with me. Anytime my impulsive thoughts came back I would text Ara. She was the person who made me feel like I was enough. I went through days when I didn't want to go to school but I couldn't live being home all day. I wanted to lock myself in my room until I died but I kept going for my friends.
I loved being with my friends having sleepovers with my best friend AJ was a life saver because she knew everything and yet stayed by my side when I needed it. The night time became my day. I would stay up until 12 sometimes texting my group chat with Leana, Mikey, and Alex and sometimes writing and doodling. School was over and I was going to 7th grade. I had felt free in one way but I also felt like I was tied to the wall of this dark pit where you feel everything is doomed and you just want to die.
I was still in love with Ara so when I was told she and her boyfriend broke up I was thrilled until I realized that before anything I just wanted her to be happy I didn't want to move in immediately but I didn't want to miss my shot, I had been waiting for her for a year now but I couldn't hurt her even if I tried. It wasn't until the fourth of july that I texted her again I wanted to feel real physical pain because of the physiological war going on in my brain because the person I thought was my friend, Clair, wouldn't support me when I told her I went by they/them or when I told her I didn't like when she made jokes about my weight. That night I wanted to end it but I didn't.
Over the time me and Ara broke up she found herself an okay boyfriend and even though I wanted her to be happy I couldn't help but wish she was back with me. Anytime my impulsive thoughts came back I would text Ara. She was the person who made me feel like I was enough. I went through days when I didn't want to go to school but I couldn't live being home all day. I wanted to lock myself in my room until I died but I kept going for my friends.
I loved being with my friends having sleepovers with my best friend AJ was a life saver because she knew everything and yet stayed by my side when I needed it. The night time became my day. I would stay up until 12 sometimes texting my group chat with Leana, Mikey, and Alex and sometimes writing and doodling. School was over and I was going to 7th grade. I had felt free in one way but I also felt like I was tied to the wall of this dark pit where you feel everything is doomed and you just want to die.
I was still in love with Ara so when I was told she and her boyfriend broke up I was thrilled until I realized that before anything I just wanted her to be happy I didn't want to move in immediately but I didn't want to miss my shot, I had been waiting for her for a year now but I couldn't hurt her even if I tried. It wasn't until the fourth of july that I texted her again I wanted to feel real physical pain because of the physiological war going on in my brain because the person I thought was my friend, Clair, wouldn't support me when I told her I went by they/them or when I told her I didn't like when she made jokes about my weight. That night I wanted to end it but I didn't.