"Are you kidding me!? This is not the adventure I wanted!"
Sato Kazuma slammed the table and shouted in the guild.
After defeating the plant-type monster, Vine Stew, Zunzun and his team had taken advantage of the situation to defeat the bloodthirsty white wolves and the One-Strike Bear. The mission bounty had been quite generous.
But Kazuma had some thoughts on the matter.
After all, during the battle, it was always Darkness who charged in, Darkness who got beaten up, Darkness who tied up the enemy, and Zunzun, Yunyun, and Megumin who used magic to defeat the monsters and finish the mission.
He wasn't mad at himself for being useless. He just felt like this team was... weird. And he had many opinions about the perverted female knight.
One couldn't help but wonder—was this guy the team's welfare case?
"Hey, Zunzun, you didn't do that on purpose, did you?"
"What are you talking about? I didn't tell her to charge. But..."
Under Kazuma's questioning gaze, Zunzun took a sip of juice, looked out the window, and said,
"I can't tell whether it's vulgar or elegant. I just know that Darkness's... hospitality is hard to refuse. If I don't appreciate it, it'd seem like I don't understand the world."
"Hey...!"
Kazuma found his team members to be too individualistic.
"In short, I want to do some normal missions!" the useless man said in a useless tone.
"You're such a pain, Kazuma," Aqua grumbled drunkenly, taking a long sip of her bubbly wine.
"Why not just go subdue some giant toads? Trash Kazuma is only fit for lowly missions like that—getting covered in slime and being despised by all the girls."
"What did you say!?"
"Giant toads... giant toads... hehe—fine! Giant toads it is! Let me experience that fishy slime again! That'll be awesome!" Darkness exclaimed.
"I'm not doing that!"
Kazuma shoved away the blushing perverted knight's arm. Darkness, feeling rejected, slumped onto the table in disappointment.
"Kazuma, you're such a jerk!" Aqua complained.
"You can't do this or that. If you keep acting like this, how are you ever going to level up?"
In Konosuba, there were two ways to level up: eating rare ingredients or defeating monsters.
The former required money. The latter? You had to actually defeat powerful monsters. Giant toads barely gave any experience, and at Zunzun's current level, even defeating 20 of them might not level him up.
Kazuma's eyes suddenly lit up with inspiration.
"Speaking of which, Aqua, what's your level?"
"Huh?"
"You've been talking about my level a lot, so I'm guessing yours is pretty high, huh?"
"Well... well..." Aqua raised her wine glass to cover her face in embarrassment. Her reaction only made her look even more suspicious.
Kazuma extended his hand. "Show me your adventurer card."
"No, that's not necessary."
"Hurry up."
"Wait—level doesn't really matter, Kazuma. There's no need to worry. So—"
"Steal!"
"Waaa—!"
This guy's luck was ridiculously high. Even though he'd failed to steal the idiot goddess's panties before, stealing ribbons and adventurer cards was a breeze.
"You're kidding me!"
Kazuma looked at Aqua's card as if he'd just witnessed something unbelievable.
After a brief pause, he shouted:
"YOU'RE ONLY LEVEL 3!? We've been here for two and a half months and you're still level 3!? I'm already level 6! And you have the nerve to call me a slacker, you useless goddess!"
"Waaaaah! Don't call me useless!" Aqua cried.
"Level 3?"
Yunyun blinked in surprise.
"Even if advanced jobs need more experience, isn't that still way too low? … Wait a minute, didn't Miss Aqua learn all the High Priest skills? So how many skill points did she start with?"
She must've been confused.
For example, Zunzun, who had just changed jobs and received 30 skill points, was already considered a rare genius among the Crimson Demons for learning advanced magic.
But Aqua had learned all of the High Priest's skills at a low level—even the party trick skill Nature's Beauty, which cost 5 skill points.
The gap between people really was greater than the gap between humans and dogs.
Kazuma felt the same way.
Now that he thought about it, there was really no need to raise Aqua's level. She'd already learned almost everything using her initial points.
Darkness chimed in, "Generally speaking, it's hard for priests to level up. They don't have offensive spells, so they can't rush in like warriors or annihilate enemies like mages. That's why priests prefer fighting the undead."
"Undead? Like the Headless Horseman?"
"That's right. Undead monsters violate divine law. Recovery magic actually hurts them—it causes their bodies to disintegrate."
"I see," Kazuma said, now understanding.
He recalled when the Dullahan attacked; Aqua had used her magic to kill his horse.
But there was another issue with experience in Konosuba—it wasn't distributed by contribution. Whoever landed the final blow got the full experience.
This made the system a favorite among tail-cutting thieves.
Not to mention, the Dullahan hadn't even been defeated. And even if he had, only Zunzun would've gained the EXP. All of Aqua's work would've been in vain.
"So it's not my fault, okay!?" Aqua shouted defensively.
"That's right, it's your fault, Kazuma! I haven't purified a single undead since becoming an adventurer! How am I supposed to level up!?"
This girl...!
Kazuma realized she was trying to shift the blame onto him.
Even though Aqua had already learned her skills, Kazuma's stats had improved with leveling. Maybe Aqua's would too?
In that case, leveling her up was still worth it.
"Ah, I see."
He rolled his eyes and said, "In that case, let's go purify the undead. You don't have any objections, right?"
"Oh, no problem! Leave it to me!" Aqua declared. "Whether it's undead or the Demon King's army, they'll all be reduced to ashes by my purification magic!"
"Idiot! Don't spill the wine!"
Aqua screamed as she raised her glass too forcefully, spilling bubbly wine everywhere and soaking Kazuma.
"Oh, right."
As if remembering something, he turned to the group.
"I forgot to ask your opinion. Can we go defeat the undead to level up Aqua?"
"No problem!" Darkness immediately agreed.
"I'm a Crusader. It's my duty to protect my allies. Besides, I've never been beaten by the undead before. It'll definitely feel good."
"...You just said it'd feel good to be beaten, didn't you?"
"I didn't say that."
"You definitely said that!"
Kazuma was starting to regret the decision. Please don't let her kneel down and beg to be abandoned again...
Just as he turned to ask Zunzun's opinion, he noticed something strange—his face looked pale and awkward.
"Zunzun?"
"...I disagree."
"Why? Don't worry, I won't pick any dangerous quests. And I doubt the undead in the Novice Village are stronger than the Dullahan."
"No reason. I just don't agree to this mission."
This was the first time Zunzun had refused.
Kazuma was intrigued.
Zunzun was powerful—strong enough to fight the Dullahan. Why would he refuse, unless...?
Suddenly, Kazuma's expression changed. A crooked smile crept across his face like that of a certain little evil god.
Zunzun's expression stiffened.
Kazuma suppressed the grin and said, completely seriously:
"That won't do, Zunzun. We're a team. We're supposed to defeat the Demon King together. If Aqua's level is too low, we might not be able to defeat the undead. Like the Dullahan before—if Aqua had been stronger, maybe she could've helped more."
It sounded like a sound argument.
Darkness, Megumin, and Yunyun all nodded in agreement.
After all, they had seen Aqua, at level 3, purify the Dullahan's horse and send it flying, leaving him wailing in frustration. If she could do that at level 3, wouldn't she be even more powerful at level 30?
However—
Only Zunzun knew.
The idiot goddess's stats had been fixed from the moment she descended into the mortal world. No matter how high she leveled, Aqua wouldn't get any stronger. She'd just gain more skill points—points she'd likely spend on upgraded versions of Nature's Beauty.
Purifying undead would be a complete waste of time.
But without evidence, no one would believe him. And Aqua would never admit that her stats wouldn't improve.
So there was no escape.
"Then I won't—"
"No, Zunzun," Kazuma cut him off.
"We're a team. Don't say stuff like 'you guys go ahead.' It'll just disappoint everyone."
"That's right! It's just some undead!" Darkness said confidently. "Don't worry, Zunzun! I'll protect you!"
Then, blushing, she added:
"Use me as a shield. No, abandon me when you're in danger! Being used as bait or discarded... it feels great!"
The perverted female knight was, as always, on brand.
Aqua loudly promised to purify all the undead.
Zunzun looked at Kazuma, who had orchestrated this entire situation.
He hadn't expected his teammates to pressure him like this—what a dirty trick!
-End Chapter-
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