Chapter 140
Appointment (2)
Thomas leaned back into his own couch, the leather sighing softly under his weight. His twenty-ringed fingers folded carefully together, the faint clink of metal filling the momentary silence. The dim, warm light from the softly burning candles cast gentle shadows across the room's muted walls, imbuing the space with a quiet, contemplative calm.
A small smile tugged at the edge of his neatly trimmed beard as he looked up, his sharp eyes—one behind a delicate monocle—locking onto IAM."Mm… yes. Last time you sat here, you carried a tired and bleak energy," Thomas observed thoughtfully. "Today, there's less of that. Your shoulders seem straighter."
He adjusted his monocle slightly, the gold frame catching the light, and studied IAM with gentle curiosity."Tell me," he said softly, "what's changed?"
A faint trace of amusement flickered across IAM's lips as he replied quietly,
"Who knows, Thomas…"
Thomas returned the smile gently, his tone patient and warm."It sounds like you're not quite ready to put it into words just yet, and that's perfectly okay," he reassured. He paused, eyes never leaving IAM's face. "Sometimes the changes we feel inside aren't easy to name right away."
Leaning back slightly, he folded his hands calmly in his lap, inviting space without pressure."When you're ready, I'm here to listen—no rush."
After a brief silence, IAM finally spoke.
"Maybe it's because I've met some new people… and I've had less time to think about myself. Or maybe it's because I'm going to be extremely busy at the academy. Or maybe—I'm just feeling better."
Thomas nodded, absorbing the words carefully."Those all sound like positive influences," he said softly. "New connections can help carry some of the weight we feel when we're alone. And having purpose, like your work at the academy, can give the mind less room to dwell on difficult things."
He paused briefly, choosing his next words with care."Feeling better is something to be acknowledged. It's important to recognize when healing—even if it's gradual—is happening."
Thomas leaned forward just slightly, fingers gently steepled as he continued."Tell me, what do these new people bring to your life? What's different with them around?"
IAM reflected quietly before speaking. "I don't really know… I just met them, after all." He thought briefly of Yohan, a faint smile flickering. "One of them is usually pretty quiet but surprises you with unexpected actions.
His expression shifted subtly as he considered Reuel, a hint of mild annoyance crossing his features."One is loud, always interested in other people's business… but they seem like a good person."
Then IAM's tone softened further as he recalled Henry."Another is very easygoing, someone who seems reliable."
He paused, gathering his thoughts carefully.
"In terms of what they bring… well, I thought I'd spend most of my time at the academy alone, unable to make new friends. But… they made it easy for me to settle."
Thomas listened intently, nodding slowly, his eyes reflecting genuine interest and empathy."That's meaningful progress," he said quietly. "Finding people who help you feel stable, especially in a new environment, can make a big difference."
His fingers brushed his ring slowly, as if weighing the importance of his next question."Do you find yourself reaching out to them when things get difficult?"
IAM answered matter-of-factly."Well, it depends. Unless it's something I can't handle on my own, I don't have a problem asking anyone for help."
He paused, then added with a small, almost casual note,"For example, I asked Henry to help me learn how to use a sword."
Thomas nodded, a faint smile playing at his lips."That's a healthy approach," he said warmly. "Knowing when to rely on others is a strength, not a weakness. And seeking guidance in new skills shows you're willing to grow."
He glanced, curiosity mingling with encouragement."How does it feel, having someone like Henry to support you in that way?"
"I'm glad he's willing to help me." IAM did not elaborate.
Thomas nodded gently. "That kind of support can make all the difference—especially when you're learning something new, or facing challenges that feel bigger than yourself."
He paused for a moment, then carefully shifted the conversation with a gentle tone, his voice quiet but inviting deeper reflection.
"Sometimes, when we lean on others, it helps us carry more than just skills or knowledge. It can help with the heavier things, too."
His gaze lingered."Have you found that to be true?"
IAM considered Thomas's words carefully.
"It can," he admitted softly. "Sometimes, having someone there makes the difference between things falling apart and holding it together."
Thomas nodded. "That's important to recognize. You've carried a heavy burden for a long time."
He took a measured breath, then spoke with quiet care. "If you're comfortable, maybe we could talk about some of those burdens today—about the people you've lost, and how that's affected you."
His eyes never wavered, offering a steady, reassuring presence."There's no pressure. Only when you're ready."
A subtle shift came over IAM's face, his eyes darkening with a steady calm, quiet resolve settling into his gaze."I'm ready," he said simply, his voice even.
Thomas gave a small, approving nod.
"Thank you for trusting me with that."
He leaned forward slightly, hands resting lightly on his knees."Tell me about them—your friends, your companions. What do you remember most about them?"
IAM's voice carried a solemn tone. "I remember them being incredibly helpful. In some way, they were all support for me—in a world where I understood almost nothing, I found a place within their presence... They were all I really had in this world."
Thomas listened intently, nodding slowly, his gaze softening."That kind of connection is profound—especially when everything else feels uncertain or unfamiliar."
"Losing such a support system can leave a void that's difficult to face."
His voice softened. "How have you been coping with their absence?"
IAM's words came almost like a mantra, carrying a sharp edge beneath their calm surface."By focusing on what I can do right now. Me grieving won't bring them back. So instead, all I can do… is do."
He locked eyes with Thomas, those dark depths pulling the room into silence.
"For all of them… I must undo."
Thomas felt a quiet understanding settle over him."That sense of responsibility… it's both a heavy burden and a powerful motivation."
He took a deep breath before continuing. But remember, carrying that weight alone can wear you down. Even the strongest need support."
He met IAM's gaze, calm and unwavering.
"Have you thought about how to carry this burden without losing yourself?"
IAM's voice lowered.
"There is nothing to lose."
Thomas regarded him, neither pushing nor retreating."I hear your pain, and the emptiness that sometimes feels like there's no ground beneath your feet."
He could see they wouldn't unravel the mystery of IAM's mind in a single session.
"But even when it feels that way, there is always something to hold onto—whether it's hope, purpose, or the people around you."
"This session is just one step, IAM. Healing doesn't happen all at once, but you've already taken a brave one by opening up today."
He looked directly into IAM's eyes.
"Whenever you're ready to continue, I'll be here."
...
Thomas gave a small, reassuring smile as IAM rose to leave.
"Thank you for trusting me today. Remember, healing isn't a straight path—it takes time and patience."
He paused. "Take care of yourself, and when you're ready, we'll continue."
IAM gave a slight nod.
As he stepped toward the door, Thomas's voice followed softly, "You're not alone in this."
A click echod as the appointment came to an end.