Chapter 216
MEET UP (3)
Thomas leaned back slightly as he considered IAM's words. "It sounds like Raj didn't just guide you technically," he said gently, "he provided you with a sense of direction when you felt completely stuck. That kind of support—especially when you're struggling with something as intense as forming an Avien—it's more than guidance. It's someone reminding you that you're not alone, even when the weight of the world feels like it's on your shoulders."
He paused, "And losing someone like that… it isn't just losing advice or help. It's losing a part of the emotional anchor you had. It's natural that remembering those moments brings both warmth and a pang of loss. Do you feel that, IAM? That mix of gratitude and emptiness?"
"I feel… the utmost respect and gratitude for the man he was," IAM said, a small, wistful smile tugging at his lips. "Even now, after… his death… he's still helping me, guiding me in the direction I should go. I just keep finding little bits and pieces of him along the way."
Thomas nodded slowly, before he spoke again. "That's a sign of a strong bond, IAM. Raj's influence didn't end when he… passed. The guidance, the habits, the way he shaped your thinking—they're still with you. It's like carrying a compass that's been calibrated by someone you trust implicitly. Even if he's not here in body, he's still present in how you navigate the world."
"It's also okay to feel that ache, that absence. Feeling the loss doesn't diminish your gratitude or respect—it makes it more tangible. Have you noticed any moments recently where you thought, 'Raj would have handled this differently'?"
"Many times… especially with my friends… I can see that they, too, have skeletons in their closets. I try to emulate the way he would speak… and sometimes, I find myself trying to do the same thing for you." IAM voice trailed off slightly.
Thomas let out a low, thoughtful hum, his fingers drumming lightly against the arm of his chair. "I see… so even in their absence, Raj—and those you've lost—are still shaping the way you interact with the living. You're carrying their guidance forward, almost like keeping their voices alive through your actions. That's a powerful way to honor them. Do you find yourself thinking of them often when you help your friends?"
Thomas appeared to ignore IAM's trailing comment, keeping his attention firmly on the subject at hand.
"Of course… it's only natural. I'm not complaining, but I often find myself thinking about the friends I've had, almost involuntarily comparing them to one another… which I know is wrong. It shouldn't matter, right?" IAM asked quietly.
Thomas nodded slowly, his expression gentle but serious. "It's natural, IAM. The mind wants to measure, to make sense of loss, and part of that is comparing what was, who mattered, and how each person shaped you. It isn't about placing value— it's about understanding the imprint they left on you. What matters isn't that you compare them, but that you remember them fully, in all their complexity."
He paused, letting the words sink in, then continued, softer. "And feeling their absence, even involuntarily, doesn't diminish your present. It just reminds you that they mattered."
"Wow… you really have a way with words. Ever thought about being a therapist?" IAM joked, a small grin tugging at his lips.
Thomas let out a short, dry chuckle, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly. "I suppose that's why I am one," he replied smoothly, his tone light but with a subtle gravity underneath. "Words… they're tools, IAM. Sometimes they soothe, sometimes they provoke, sometimes they simply help us see what's already inside us. I've learned that the right phrasing can make the unbearable just a little easier to bear."
And just like that, time passed.
IAM and Thomas spoke for what felt like hours, the room growing still around them as their conversation dipped and swelled, circling back to Raj—The way he carried others even when he had no strength left for himself. They spoke of guilt and fear. Of words never said and moments that now only lived inside IAM's mind.
At some point, IAM stopped watching the clock. The weight he'd carried for so long, pressed into his chest like a stone he never dared touch, had started to loosen. The words he once thought impossible to say had come out. But they had come out all the same.
And when the conversation finally slowed, IAM realized something.
It hadn't been as bad as he thought.
He felt lighter—like he had finally, properly exhaled after holding his breath for far too long. Last time, he had turned away from the conversation, locking those memories behind a closed door. But this time, he had opened it. And on the other side wasn't pain—at least, not only pain.
There was a strange kind of satisfaction. A sense of clarity.
When the appointment came to an end, IAM rose from the couch and looked at Thomas.
"Thank you," he said sincerely.
Thomas gave him a small wave, his eyes kind. "Hey... this is just the beginning."
IAM nodded, then turned and left the room— his shoulders just a little less heavy than before.
IAM exited the building in a really good mood, his steps light as the door shut quietly behind him. The chill in the Higher Sector air didn't bother him anymore—not with the strange warmth still lingering in his chest.
He smiled to himself and pulled out his phone, the light from the screen casting a pale glow on his face. A few new messages blinked at the top, but his attention went straight to the one thread he'd been waiting on.
Right—he hadn't forgotten.
This wasn't just a day for unpacking the past. He had another goal.
The meeting with Thor.
IAM scrolled through their chat again, eyes narrowing slightly as he reviewed the time and location. He hadn't properly explained his reasons for setting up the meeting—he hadn't gone into details about the Cult of the Accursed, or why he wanted to help. But Thor hadn't asked for much. He'd simply agreed.
That was enough. It gave IAM hope. Maybe Thor already knew something. Maybe there was more happening under the surface than anyone had let on.
IAM slipped the phone back into his pocket and took a breath.
Then, with purpose in his stride, he began weaving his way through the familiar maze of the Higher Sector.
He had just unpacked a little bit of the past, and now he was already setting his sights on digging a little more.