The morning after the Great Bathroom Pipe Incident dawned with the subtle cruelty of a Bureau-mandated audit. Alex had managed to patch the leak with an emergency sealant kit he'd bought at a suspiciously late-night hardware store, but the lingering dampness and the faint smell of burnt porcelain were constant reminders of his new, chaotic reality. He'd barely slept, his mind racing through contingency plans for five supernaturals, a potential Bureau inspection, and a mandatory "Bureau Best Practices" seminar he was now almost certainly going to miss.
He stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, only to find it already occupied. Lirael, impossibly neat, was meticulously arranging his meager collection of instant coffee packets. Lady Sylvia, somehow managing to look regal even in Alex's oversized, faded college sweatshirt (which she'd glamour-shifted to appear as shimmering silk, only for it to revert to cotton every few minutes), was attempting to brew tea using a complex series of hand gestures that resulted in a faint, glittering mist but no actual hot water. Nix was slumped at the counter, nursing a mug of what appeared to be pure black coffee, a faint wisp of steam rising from it, as if she'd heated it herself with a thought. Kana was silently sketching at the small dining table, her hoodie pulled low, while Mira was attempting to juggle three apples she'd somehow conjured, nearly hitting Alex with one.
"Morning, boss!" Mira chirped, catching the last apple with a flourish. "Sleep well? Heard some interesting gurgling noises from the bathroom. Your cat, still reorganizing the pipes?"
Alex groaned. "It's 6 AM. And no, my 'cat' is not reorganizing the pipes. And no, I did not sleep well. I have a Bureau seminar I'm supposed to be at in an hour, and I have five… houseguests… who are currently testing the structural integrity of my kitchen."
"Oh, goody," Nix muttered, taking a large gulp of her superheated coffee. "More beige. Just what my fiery soul needed."
"The seminar is irrelevant," Lirael stated, without looking up from her coffee packet organization. "Current data indicates an 89.7% probability of Bureau detection if you leave us unsupervised for an extended period. Your presence is required for containment integrity."
Alex pinched the bridge of his nose. "So, I'm effectively under house arrest with you lot?"
"Think of it as… collaborative living," Lady Sylvia offered, her voice still a silken purr, despite the failed tea glamour. "We are simply ensuring the continued viability of our mutual arrangement."
Before Alex could argue, his phone buzzed. It was a Bureau alert, a high-priority notification. He frowned, opening the message.
INCIDENT REPORT: LEVEL 3 ARCANE ANOMALY – CURSED VENDING MACHINELOCATION: Corner of Elm & 3rd, Downtown SectorDESCRIPTION: Vending machine exhibiting uncontrolled transfiguration of dispensed items. Public reports of soda turning into live frogs, candy bars into sentient, screaming grubs, and chips into solid gold bricks (unstable). Requires immediate Division B intervention due to contractual nature of vending machine's operating license.ASSIGNED AGENT: Alex Kim (Primary)
Alex stared at the screen, then at the five supernaturals. "You have got to be kidding me."
"What is it, boss?" Mira asked, leaning over his shoulder, her fanged grin wide.
"A cursed vending machine," Alex muttered, rubbing his temples. "And I'm assigned to it. Division B handles anything with a contractual loophole, no matter how ridiculous."
Nix snorted. "A vending machine? That's your big, important Bureau work? Sounds thrilling."
"It's usually just paperwork," Alex said. "But this… 'uncontrolled transfiguration' means I have to go into the field. And I can't leave you here. Not after last night." He looked pointedly at the faintly scorched kitchen sink.
Lirael's silver eyes fixed on him. "Field deployment with uncontained variables increases risk of exposure by 72.4%. However, the alternative of leaving us here unattended presents a 91.2% risk of internal apartment structural failure due to unmanaged energy output."
"So, I have to take you with me," Alex concluded, a sense of weary inevitability settling over him. "To a cursed vending machine. In public. This is going to be a disaster."
"A field trip!" Mira clapped her hands, her eyes gleaming with mischief. "Finally, some action! Can I fight the screaming grubs?"
"No fighting the screaming grubs," Alex said immediately. "And no magic. No glamour. No disappearing. No setting anything on fire. We are going to blend in. We are going to look like a perfectly normal… group of people. Who just happen to be very interested in a broken vending machine."
Lady Sylvia looked down at her glamour-shifting sweatshirt. "And what, pray tell, are we to wear? I refuse to be seen in these… rags."
Alex sighed. "We'll stop at a thrift store on the way. Or… something. Just, please, for the love of all that is bureaucratic, try to act normal."
The journey to the cursed vending machine was, predictably, a masterclass in controlled chaos. Alex had managed to scrounge up some of his old, ill-fitting clothes for the women. Nix ended up in a band t-shirt and ripped jeans that, somehow, still managed to look like she was about to start a mosh pit. Lady Sylvia, draped in a floral-patterned dress that was two sizes too big, looked like a dethroned queen slumming it. Mira was ecstatic in a pair of combat boots and a hoodie, looking like she was ready for a street brawl. Kana, as always, blended into the background in a dark, oversized jacket, her presence barely a whisper. Lirael wore a perfectly tailored, if slightly too large, trench coat that made her look like a very serious, very fashionable detective.
"This is an insult to my station," Lady Sylvia muttered, adjusting the floral print with a grimace. "I feel as though I am masquerading as a commoner. The indignity!"
"Just think of it as a tactical disguise, Sylvia," Alex said, trying to sound encouraging. "Undercover work. Very important."
They arrived at the corner of Elm & 3rd to find a small crowd gathered around a standard-issue soda vending machine. It looked innocuous enough, but every few seconds, a loud POP! would emanate from it, followed by a startled scream as someone's cola turned into a wriggling, bright green frog, or their chocolate bar transformed into a small, chittering rodent. A few gold bricks, shimmering with unstable magic, lay discarded on the pavement, occasionally sparking.
"Right," Alex said, pulling out his Bureau-issued tablet. "Okay. Standard procedure. Observe, document, attempt to neutralize. No direct engagement unless absolutely necessary."
"So, no fighting the screaming grubs?" Mira asked, her eyes gleaming as she watched a candy bar morph into a particularly hairy, disgruntled creature.
"No fighting the screaming grubs," Alex reiterated firmly. "And no eating the gold bricks. They're unstable."
He began his assessment, tapping notes into his tablet. "Okay, transfiguration seems to be random, but consistently organic or metallic. No consistent pattern. Source of curse unknown."
Suddenly, a man in a business suit, clearly frustrated, slammed his fist against the vending machine. "Come on, just give me a soda!"
The machine whirred, lights flashed, and with a loud THWUMP, a full-sized, very angry badger materialized in the dispensing slot, hissing and snapping. The man shrieked and ran.
"Well, that's new," Alex muttered, making a note. "Badger transfiguration. Note: Increased aggression."
"This is fascinating," Lirael observed, stepping closer to the machine, her silver eyes scanning it with intense focus. "The energy signature is fluctuating, indicating a chaotic magical overlay. The curse is not inherent to the machine, but rather an external influence."
"Fancy words for 'it's broken and spitting out animals'," Nix scoffed, but she too was watching the machine with a flicker of interest.
Just then, a small child, oblivious to the chaos, toddled up to the machine, dropped a coin in, and pressed the button for a bag of chips. The machine whirred, and out popped… a tiny, perfectly formed, live baby dragon, no bigger than a kitten, which promptly sneezed a puff of smoke. The child giggled, delighted.
"Oh, for the love of Bureau regulations," Alex muttered, already anticipating the paperwork for "unauthorized dragon manifestation."
Suddenly, Mira, who had been quietly observing, let out a whoop. "Alright, my turn!" Before Alex could react, she strode up to the machine, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
"Mira, no! Don't engage!" Alex yelled, but it was too late.
Mira slammed her hand against the vending machine, not gently, but with a force that made the entire contraption shudder. "Hey, you rusty piece of junk! Give me a real snack!"
The machine lights flashed wildly, whirring louder than before. The crowd gasped. With a violent CLANG, the dispensing slot opened, and out shot… a perfectly normal, ice-cold can of cola.
Mira caught it with one hand, popped it open, and took a long, satisfying swig. "See? Just needed a little encouragement."
Alex stared, dumbfounded. The crowd around them began to murmur, then applaud. A few people even started approaching the machine, encouraged by Mira's success.
"Mira! What did you do?!" Alex hissed, pulling her aside.
"Just gave it a good whack!" she grinned, showing off her fangs. "Sometimes, you gotta show these things who's boss."
"You can't just go around punching cursed artifacts!" Alex whispered frantically. "That's not 'standard procedure'!"
"But it worked, didn't it?" Mira countered, taking another swig of cola.
Indeed, it had. For a moment. Then, with a groan, the machine lights flickered back to their chaotic pattern, and the next person to try it received a handful of squirming earthworms.
"Damn it, Mira!" Alex muttered. "You just made it worse!"
"It was fun while it lasted," she shrugged, unrepentant.
As Alex tried to regain control of the situation, a new problem emerged. A group of teenagers, emboldened by Mira's brief success, started trying to "fix" the machine themselves, kicking it, shaking it, and generally escalating the chaos. One of them, a particularly obnoxious kid with a backwards baseball cap, tried to pry open the coin slot with a screwdriver.
"Hey!" Alex yelled, stepping forward. "That's Bureau property! You can't tamper with it!"
"Oh yeah?" the kid sneered. "What are you gonna do, call the cops?"
Suddenly, a shadow detached itself from the building wall. Kana. She moved with a silent, almost ethereal grace, slipping past the teenagers unnoticed. Alex watched, bewildered, as she glided towards the cursed vending machine.
The teenagers were still arguing with Alex, distracted, when Kana reached the machine. She didn't touch it. Instead, she simply stood beside it, her head tilted, her eyes, like pools of dusk, fixed on its whirring mechanisms. Her hands, pale and slender, moved in the air, tracing invisible patterns, as if she were feeling the vibrations of the curse itself.
A strange silence fell over the immediate area, a hush that seemed to absorb the street noise. The machine's chaotic whirring began to slow, becoming a more rhythmic, almost musical hum. The flashing lights dimmed, then steadied.
Then, Kana reached out, her fingers barely brushing the side of the machine. A faint, shimmering ripple, like heat haze, emanated from her touch, spreading over the metal surface. It was almost imperceptible, a whisper of magic.
The machine gave a final, soft click. The lights turned solid green. The digital display, which had been flashing random characters, now read: "SELECT ITEM."
The obnoxious teenager, still arguing with Alex, paused mid-sentence. He looked at the machine. He looked at Kana, who was now standing perfectly still, almost invisible again, as if she had simply been a trick of the light.
Hesitantly, the teenager inserted a coin. He pressed the button for a soda. With a soft THUNK, a perfectly normal, ice-cold can of cola dropped into the slot.
The crowd erupted in cheers. People rushed forward, eager to try the now-fixed machine. Sodas, chips, and candy bars began dispensing normally. The baby dragon sneezed again, then vanished in a puff of glitter. The screaming grubs reverted to chocolate.
Alex stared, his jaw slack. He looked at Kana, who had already begun to recede into the shadows, her sketchbook clutched to her chest. She hadn't used any overt magic. She hadn't fought. She had simply… solved it.
"Kana," Alex whispered, utterly stunned.
Nix, who had been watching with grudging curiosity, let out a low whistle. "Well, I'll be damned. The quiet one actually fixed it."
Lady Sylvia, her aristocratic disdain momentarily forgotten, looked at Kana with a new, intrigued expression. "Such… subtlety. A true artist of the unseen."
Lirael stepped forward, her silver eyes gleaming. "Her ability to perceive and manipulate residual magical energies is highly efficient. She did not neutralize the curse, but rather re-routed its chaotic output into a stable, self-regulating loop. An elegant solution."
"She… re-routed the curse?" Alex repeated, trying to wrap his head around it.
"Indeed," Lirael confirmed. "The curse is still present, but its effects are now contained within the machine's internal mechanisms, harmlessly cycling. A temporary, but effective, neutralization."
Alex looked at the now-normal vending machine, then at Kana, who was now almost completely merged with the shadows of a nearby alleyway. She was a ghost, a whisper, but she had just done what the Bureau's entire Division B couldn't have done with a week of paperwork.
He pulled out his tablet, his fingers still trembling slightly. He had to write an incident report. And for the first time, he had something truly remarkable to report.
INCIDENT REPORT: LEVEL 3 ARCANE ANOMALY – CURSED VENDING MACHINERESOLUTION: Neutralized by…
He paused. He couldn't write "Neutralized by an unregistered Shade who quietly re-routed the curse." That would get them all erased.
He sighed, deleting the previous text. He looked at the now-bustling vending machine, then at the lingering shadows where Kana had disappeared.
RESOLUTION: Neutralized by Unforeseen Circumstances. Agent Kim utilized a novel, improvisational approach involving… direct physical engagement with the anomaly, resulting in a temporary stabilization of the arcane energy signature.
He winced. It sounded like he'd just kicked the machine until it worked. Which, technically, Mira had done. But it was the only way to explain it without exposing Kana.
He glanced at Mira, who was now attempting to teach a stray dog how to fetch a gold brick. He looked at Nix, who was eyeing a nearby lamppost with a speculative glint in her eye. He looked at Lady Sylvia, who was trying to convince a pigeon to bring her a diamond. And he looked at Lirael, who was still analyzing the now-normal vending machine with an air of profound, almost academic interest.
His life was still a chaotic mess, but for the first time, he felt a flicker of something new. Not just dread, but a strange, burgeoning pride. His impossible houseguests, despite their inherent chaos, had a surprising knack for solving problems. And Kana, the quietest and most haunted of them all, had just proven herself to be a quiet, devastating force of nature.
Alex finished his report, submitted it, and then tucked his tablet away. He had a feeling his "novel, improvisational approach" would lead to more paperwork later, but for now, the city was safe from screaming grubs and aggressive badgers.
"Alright, team," Alex said, clapping his hands together, a new, weary determination in his voice. "Next stop: Home. And then we figure out how to get you all proper Bureau-approved identification. Because if we're going to keep doing this, we need to look legitimate. Or at least, less likely to be erased."
Mira cheered. Nix grumbled but didn't protest. Lady Sylvia sighed dramatically but followed. Lirael simply nodded. And Kana, from the shadows, offered a faint, almost imperceptible shimmer of agreement.
Alex Kim, junior contract manager, had just completed his first field mission with his new, impossible team. And he had a feeling it wouldn't be his last. The Bureau might think he was just a drab paper-pusher, but they had no idea what kind of power he was now accidentally wielding. And he was just starting to figure it out himself.