She woke up nervous. A strange feeling under her skin prevented her from remaining still.
Michael was standing by the bed. 'Come with me,' he told her.
She glared at him. She felt particularly angry. However, she got up and followed him out of the room, where she would not have been able to stay any longer anyway. She had so much energy and adrenalin in her body that she would have jumped on the spot.
Michael led the way in silence. He walked through the house and garden until he came to the edge of a grove. "Undress."
"What?"
"It is time for you to get acquainted with the wolf that now dwells within you."
She shook her head. "I'm going to keep ignoring him." And the answer came out in an angry snarl, without her intending it.
Michael removed his clothes and waited for Alex to imitate him. "One way or another he will come out."
Reluctantly, Alex began to take off her shirt and trousers, partly because the contact of the fabric on her skin was beginning to bother her.
"The rest too," Michael told her when she remained in her underwear.
Now she was really starting to get pissed off. When she was naked, she looked at him with as much hatred in her eyes as she could muster.
"Now close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing, on the beat of your heart."
She did as he told her to and soon he heard the beating of his own heart in his ears. Somehow this calmed her anger and Alex felt the energy flowing along with her blood. It almost felt as if she was so strong that she was invincible.
"Can you feel the energy flowing inside you? It is strong, impetuous. Set it free, allow it to take shape."
Alex concentrated on it. She felt it pass through her muscles and organs. She felt the heat rise within her, and in her closed eyes a red and then dazzling white light accec her. She opened her frightened eyes again... and noticed that her vision had changed. Her field of vision had become wider, the trees were taller... hundreds of different smells flocked to her nose for attention and information. His brain was bombarded with an infinity of data: how many and which animals were nearby, how many had passed by, the vegetation, the men in the surroundings...
Stay calm. The voice came reassuringly directly to her mind. She turned her head and saw a large, tawny-haired wolf beside her. She lowered her head and looked at her own... paws. She lifted one to make sure it was indeed hers. It was so strange to look at... she placed it on the ground and felt the ground. The grass was soft under the pads.
How about trying to go for a walk? Michael's voice reached her again, silencing all the thoughts that crowded in her mind. When we are in our wolf form we can communicate with thought, he explained to her.
Are you reading my mind? The idea was terrifying.
No, but you can transmit your thoughts to me and I will hear them.
This was beyond his capabilities.
You only have to address the thoughts you want me to hear.
So you hear everything so far?
For now you are sending me scattered thoughts. But you will soon learn, you will see.
Well, at that moment he was like a radio gone mad, broadcasting random channels. But that was not his most pressing problem. He had paws. And hair, snout and fangs! He wondered if he would even start drooling.
Wolves do not drool.
Thank God. She took a deep breath to calm herself, but the nectar from the nearby flowers made her sneeze. In her head she heard Michael chuckle. It's not funny!
You look like a puppy on its first outing.
Alex turned and gave him a warning growl.
He brought his muzzle close to her neck and gave her a little push. Let's go! And he took off running into the woods.
Alex watched the tail disappear into the bushes and wondered how she was supposed to run with that body that did not belong to her. But something inside her seemed to know perfectly well how. She splashed through the bushes and followed Michael between the trunks. After a while the trees thinned out and a pasture opened up before them. Michael quickened his pace and headed towards a nearby hill strewn with heather.
Alex followed close behind him. Her paws barely touched the fast-flowing ground beneath her. The smell of the grass she loved was amplified. Her eyes could discern every movement even at a considerable distance. Far away, a rabbit frightened by their presence ran for its burrow. On seeing him fleeing, something snapped inside her. The urge to chase him. It was an irresistible impulse.
Not today, Michael's voice told her. Reluctantly she averted her eyes from her prey and followed the tawny wolf. She saw the hill approaching and began to climb up through the stones and bushes. She felt no fatigue, in fact an unknown exhilaration urged her on and she enjoyed the situation. She felt free as she had never felt before.
When she reached the top of the hill Michael was there waiting for her. But she was not yet tired. She leapt in front of him, provoking him, then sprinted down the hill. She felt Michael step up beside her. She realised his tongue was hanging out and let it dangle for a while as his long strides devoured the ground. She saw another hill to her left and increased her pace. When he reached the top he finally stopped. The villa was a distant dot and below her lay the squares of the pastures. The energy that had made her quiver and made her nervous seemed to have found its balance, she could still feel it flowing within her, but like the pulsing of her own blood. She turned to look at Michael, who was watching her calmly a few steps away. The restlessness had not entirely disappeared, but something else had flanked her.
Hope.
I still can't control my thoughts, can I?
No, and to be honest, I don't mind: you have very interesting thoughts.
What do you find so interesting about it?
Your mind is assimilating the instincts of the wolf. You are not rejecting them.
Alex weighed that remark. It was true. The revulsion he had felt at the news of what she had become had now vanished. And a kind of curiosity had now taken its place. In that new form she could no longer reject it, not completely at least. It was something that still sent her brain reeling, but a part of her had already accepted the change and even seemed to enjoy it.
Perhaps you can adapt to a life as a werewolf.
Perhaps. She still didn't feel safe and felt like a stranger to herself, but the change, although it still frightened her, might not be so terrible. What would happen now?
I will teach you our rules, our way of life. After... Michael paused because what he was about to say cost him so much. Afterwards, you can decide whether to stay in the pack... or leave.
Will I be able to go back to my old life? Alex still didn't know if that was what she wanted. Certainly the prospect gave her an idea of familiarity that she currently lacked.
Yes. You would become an unrivalled warrior: no one could beat you. No human at least. And as a bouncer you would be the best. Most efficient.
Alex thought back to his old life, the club, the fights, his flat. None of that was there any more. Even if she wanted to, she could never go back to those places. Then she thought back to her last days with Michael. She felt a pain in her chest. She had felt as if she had found a place that finally belonged to her, and a person she could trust. Now she had to start from scratch. Literally. Because now she didn't even have herself.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to betray your trust. I would never have done that. I hope one day you can accept yourself for who you are now and not hate yourself. As for me, I know you will not be able to forgive me for what I did, but I hope you understand why I did it.
But she didn't want to think about that now. Because the resentment she felt towards Michael already seemed to be fading, and she did not want that to happen.
Let's go home. And without waiting for an answer, he hurled himself down the hill.
***
When he reached the edge of the forest, where their clothes were, Alex stopped and waited. He had no idea how to return to his human form.
You just have to concentrate.
She tried to imagine herself in her normal human form, but nothing happened. A shiver ran down her spine: what if she could never become human again?
Calm down! Michael's voice had a calming effect on his mind. Concentrate on your energy, feel it.
Alex closed his eyes and slowly became aware again of the energy flowing through his body like rushing blood. He felt it pulsating more and more together with the beating of his heart. He changed form without even realising it. She felt the cold lashing her now naked skin, opened her eyes and saw herself as human again. An immense relief lightened her heart, banishing the residual fear. Then she looked up and saw Michael, naked, standing before her. She felt something awaken inside her and blushed instantly as she lowered her eyes and began to put on her own clothes.
'It is normal that your impulses are now amplified,' he told her.
Alex blushed even more as he realised that his reaction had been so blatant.
Michael approached but did not touch her. "You will learn to deal with your new nature."
She avoided looking at his naked torso and tried to ignore his smell that now came so clear to her nostrils and that she found so inviting. She felt with the instincts of a teenager... if not worse: of an animal!
Michael put on his own clothes. "Let's go." And without waiting for an answer, he started towards the villa.
When Alex had closed the door to their room behind him, Michael went into another. He hoped that the warm jet of the shower would melt and take away that weight in his chest, that endless sadness that had taken hold of him. To feel Alex so unfriendly towards him was more painful than he had expected. For not for a second had he thought that she would forgive him for what he had done to her, but, in a hidden corner of his heart, he had hoped that she would, that she would be able to accept the change and continue to love him. He should not have deluded himself. As soon as she was able, she would leave. He would have lost her. But, at least, he could hope that one day she would be happy. Of course, the idea that it was another man, or another werewolf, standing beside her caused him a pain and anger he could hardly control, but that had been his choice, the choice he had made for her, and now he had no right to complain about the consequences.