A new week dawned at Hogwarts.
As students woke for their morning runs and wandered the castle corridors, they immediately sensed something was off. The portraits, usually feigning sleep or muttering nonsense at this hour, now seemed to have been assigned motivational lines—each one reciting its own piece of encouragement.
At the sixth-floor staircase, the portrait of Emeric Switch (author of A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration) straightened up whenever a student passed and declared solemnly, "Confidence comes from strength, and strength comes from diligence." "One day of hard work brings a night of restful sleep; a lifetime of diligence brings eternal happiness."
On the eighth floor, Sir Cadogan's portrait would rein in his tiny pony and brandish his sword, bellowing, "Good morning, my comrades! If you seek noble hearts and strong bodies, then face your exams! Exams are but hurdles on the long road of life. Whether you succeed or fail, that hardly matters now. What matters is learning from each test—overcoming every challenge ahead, just like the mighty Sir Cadogan!"
The monks beside him would chime in, one after another: "When facing setbacks, we must persevere!" "When facing difficulties, we must rise to the challenge!" "When facing failure, we must never give up!" "With your diligence and wisdom, you're destined for success. Good morning, friends!"
Whenever someone left the Gryffindor common room, the Fat Lady's portrait would call out, "Chin up! Our troubles will soon be over!" "Hey, children, keep going, keep going, I'm cheering for you~" That last operatic high note was enough to send every Gryffindor striding out with fresh energy.
Even the drunken monk in the Charms corridor would rouse himself to slur, "Only through the baptism of sweat can you brew good wine... No, wait—that's how you savor the joy of harvest!"
From that day on, the castle was filled with a constant chorus of motivational slogans.
Everyone suspected Professor Holmes was behind it. The lines were all too familiar—especially to Hufflepuffs, who'd heard them countless times in Defence Against the Dark Arts. And they were right. With recent increases in homework for some classes, students had been sleeping poorly and drifting off in other lessons. Professor McGonagall had even approached Douglas in private, hinting that perhaps he could lighten the load to allow other professors to assign more homework—after all, she didn't want students to neglect any subject.
Whether by accident or design, Douglas remembered only that the students' spirits had been flagging lately.
At first, the effect was remarkable. Students stopped lingering in the corridors—they hurried from place to place, spurred on by the relentless encouragement.
But Hogwarts has never lacked for rebellion, especially among its ghosts—many of whom had long found Douglas insufferable. After Professor Binns delivered a scathing critique in History of Magic, and Peeves decided it was all great fun, the castle's bored ghosts took matters into their own hands. They stationed themselves by the portraits, and whenever a portrait delivered the first half of a slogan, the ghosts would gleefully shout the punchline:
"One reaps what one sows..." "...And gets nothing at all!"
"Heaven never forgets..." "...Those with talent!"
"After the baptism of sweat..." "...You realize O.W.L.s are in the summer!"
"Exams are hurdles on the road of life..." "Hogwarts is nothing but hurdles!"
Students would stop to watch, then grin and call out, "Stay strong!" to the heckling ghosts.
The ghosts weren't fools—whenever a professor or staff member came by, they'd vanish into the walls or ceiling in an instant.
The other professors, including Professor McGonagall, watched the whole thing with amused tolerance. Even though Hogwarts professors didn't have KPIs, they did grumble a little about Douglas's competitive escalation.
When Douglas heard about it, he just laughed. He had no intention of turning students into study-obsessed zombies.
Still, in his next classes, he handed out a new invention to students who'd done well but had been bullied by Peeves: the Peeves Containment Ball.
He explained, very seriously, "I don't want my best students bullied by a mere poltergeist. This is all about standing up to school bullies!"
The Peeves Containment Ball was different from the old Peeves Banishment Charm—this was a new creation, developed after Douglas's skills had improved. It was harmless to other ghosts, so there was no risk of another ghostly protest. If you threw the ball at Peeves, it would suck him inside and trap him for twenty-four hours. The ball was reusable, though each time it caught Peeves, the next imprisonment was two hours shorter.
Douglas made it clear: "I want every student to feel safe from the school's most notorious nuisance!"
But, as often happens at Hogwarts, reality had other plans.
The first student to receive a Peeves Containment Ball confronted Peeves with a triumphant shout: "Ha! Peeves, you're finished! The Professor gave me this just for you. I'll show you what I can do!"
He hurled the ball— And missed completely.
Peeves twisted in midair, waggling his backside, cackling: "Caw-caw-caw! Hit the great Peeves and win three points!"
From that moment on, Peeves became hyper-vigilant. No one could land a hit.
But Hogwarts students are nothing if not resourceful. With a little coaching from fifth-year Gryffindor pranksters—and a few shady deals—those with Peeves Containment Balls started offering their services in the corridors after class:
"Peeves Containment Ball for rent! One Knut per throw—no refunds for misses! Land a hit, and win a product from Zonko's Joke Shop!"
Most students had been tormented by Peeves at some point, so business boomed. Even Mr. Filch, the house Prefects, and several professors turned a blind eye. After all, Peeves had made enemies everywhere.
The students were clever, too—they never let Quidditch players have a go (no sense in risking their house's chances for a laugh).
To keep the excitement alive, after pocketing a nice collection of Knuts, they picked George Weasley and Fred Weasley as their next customers.
With the twins working together, they finally scored the first successful hit—first blood with the Peeves Containment Ball.
When the students saw that the ball could really trap Peeves, excitement soared.
As for the scene in some dark Hogwarts corner, where the twins and the Ball owners split their spoils—well, that was best kept secret from the rest of the school.
At first, the ghosts were wary of the new invention and put their anti-Douglas campaign on hold. But once they learned the ball only worked on Peeves, they gleefully resumed their mischief. After all, it was only Peeves who suffered—and most of them were more than happy to see him disappear for a day now and then.
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