"HP: Too Late, System!"Chapter 334: Hogwarts School Rules Lecture
When the students arrived in a noisy swarm at the entrance to the Quidditch pitch, they were instantly stunned by what they saw.
They'd assumed Sirius had brought them here to let off some pent-up energy. Clearly, that wasn't the case.
Floating broomsticks formed an archway over the entrance, a banner strung across it reading: "Hogwarts Lecture."
Beyond the arch, a wooden stage—twenty feet across and wrapped in ivy—rose in the center of the pitch. Upon it sat a leather chair and a small lectern, atop which rested a crystal orb.
Rows of wooden benches stretched before the platform, each thoughtfully topped with soft cushions in the colors of the four Houses, dividing the seating into four distinct sections. Behind each area stood a giant House banner; the animals on the crests blinked occasionally or flicked their tails with a hint of magic.
To either side of the field, banners in all four House colors displayed each House's motto in bold script.
Sirius strode onto the stage first, settled into the chair, and tapped the crystal orb lightly with his wand.
Suddenly, a massive projection shimmered above the dais.
It showed not only Sirius's image, but also a banner that didn't exist in the real world: "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Rules Lecture."
Watching the chattering young witches and wizards below, Sirius let a half-smile play at his lips.
"Good morning, troublemakers. Oh—sorry, I mean, 'future witches and wizards of distinction.' Find your House section and take your seats, please."
"I've got a bad feeling about this…"
"I heard Director Black is close with Professor Holmes."
"How many school rules are there, anyway?"
"Hundreds, I think? Who knows."
Despite the murmurs, ever since Director Black had shown his ruthless side that night, no one dared to slip away from the pitch. Especially the Slytherins—they knew full well that Director Black and their own Head of House were at odds, and Black was a Gryffindor to boot. Their Head had always favored their House; who could say whether Director Black wouldn't seize the chance for a little payback?
Once everyone had obediently found their places, Sirius cleared his throat.
"Excellent. You haven't given me a last-minute excuse to dock points. I'm your Academic Affairs Director, Sirius Black.
Just because you're not sitting exams this term doesn't mean you get to relax. Over the next few days, the Academic Affairs Office has arranged a series of lectures. I hope you'll make the most of this opportunity.
And of course, I'll be kicking things off with a session on Hogwarts rules.
Some of you—yes, you with those haunted looks—may have heard less-than-flattering rumors about me at home.
'Merlin's beard! Sirius Black, enforcing school rules? He nearly turned Hogwarts upside down in his day!'
And yes, I know some parents have written quite a few complaint letters to Headmaster Dumbledore. Don't worry—I'm not your Professor Holmes, lurking for a chance to get even with you."
At this, more than a few students chuckled knowingly.
They all knew Professor Holmes's reputation: say something bad about him, or break his classroom rules, and you'd find yourself on the receiving end of a subtle, well-timed punishment.
Some who'd only ever heard of Sirius from family or the Prophet suddenly found him less severe than he'd seemed at his inauguration—more mischievous, even.
"Alright, let's not dredge up old scandals. The point is: right now, I know better than anyone that teenage wands tend to point toward trouble. But trust me—some red lines are more dangerous than anything you might see in the Mirror of Erised."
In the crowd, Ron was quietly explaining to a few classmates what the Mirror of Erised was, and what he'd once seen reflected there.
"Let's start with 'night wandering'—the favorite adventure of both new and old students. Moonlit corridors are, I admit, a hundred times more exciting than Potions class. But remember: the Academic Affairs Office's Lumos charm is three seconds faster than your best escape. No matter how quick you are, we'll catch anyone breaking the rules."
Sirius's lecture didn't drone through the Hogwarts rules one by one. Instead, he regaled them with stories—hilarious, cautionary, and just a little bit wild.
Two hours flew by before he thoughtfully gave everyone a twenty-minute break.
When the students returned from the loo, they found a crowd gathered near the stage.
On the ground, glowing powder traced out a giant "school rules" board game: trap squares labeled "Night Wanderers—Copy Lines," teleport squares marked "Report Pranks for Points," and more.
Sirius called everyone to sit, scanned the group, and nodded. "Excellent. No absentees."
He tapped the crystal orb again, and the projection above shifted to an overhead view of the giant board.
"Next, we're playing a little game. Each House will send students up in turn to roll the magical dice. Based on who finishes first, your House will earn between three and one points."
While the Quidditch pitch buzzed with laughter and excitement, the N.E.W.T. exam hall was causing a stir of its own.
Thanks to the "question sea" strategy Douglas had implemented these past two years, the Wizarding Examinations Authority had been forced to update their test papers.
But this year, they discovered something remarkable: the students' performance had leapt forward. Not just in how many questions they could answer, but in their unique approaches to problem-solving—something rarely seen in young witches and wizards who hadn't yet entered the wider world.
When Griselda Marchbanks, the venerable head of the Wizarding Examinations Authority, heard the news, she chuckled and said to Douglas,
"Little Doug, have you cooked up another secret weapon? I'm a hundred and three this year—can't you let an old lady enjoy her twilight years in peace, instead of making my job harder every year?"
Douglas glanced at Professor McGonagall, who shrugged, rolled her eyes, and promptly looked away.
Douglas leaned in and replied, "This year, we designed a large-scale subject challenge game, with every professor contributing. The seventh-years sitting exams this time cleared at least two subjects, some as many as six. The difficulty's actually a bit higher than the real tests."
The old lady's eyes sparkled with interest.
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