I glanced down at the floor.
She hadn't just brought order to their lives – but especially to mine.
Besides the time-consuming training, we had spent countless hours together – as Shoko had teasingly alluded to earlier.
And she had been absolutely right.
I'd caught myself far too often secretly waiting in the evenings for Mayu to show up with snacks and two cups of coffee, ready to spend the evening with me – if I wasn't out exorcising curses.
And those evenings had become important.
We had conversations.
Trivial, relaxed, funny conversations – at first only about the complex topic that brought us together. Until we gently peeled back the layers and started touching on deeper topics.
Like yesterday at dinner in that restaurant in Ginza.
That evening, I revealed more of myself than I had in a long time.
I wasn't entirely comfortable doing it, but Mayu's unexpected reactions left behind a strange sense of comfort – and understanding.
Feelings I had buried long ago. But it had felt surprisingly good. So good that I wanted more. I wanted to find out how far I could go – how much I could show of myself before she, like everyone else, turned away and left me alone at the top.
I wanted to enjoy it as long as I could. The genuine attention she gave me.
No. Dammit! This couldn't be the end. Not with me. Not now. I was just beginning to understand her – and the universe better keep its mouth shut until I was done!
Beyond all the meaningful conversations, I wanted to watch movies late into the night with her again.
Especially when I needed to unwind – like after a long, exhausting day spent rushing from one appointment to the next.
Preferably a horror flick. Mayu unwilling – for me, pure delight.
Especially the ones with the highest scare factor.
I wasn't trying to toughen her up or torment her with them – I simply needed something to laugh about.
And what better way than with this skittish person next to me, who jumped at every predictable horror scene? Even while covering her pretty face with pillows or her hands?
Bingo! Her bizarre rants were pure comedy gold.
Who needed Netflix when you had a jumpy insult machine sitting next to you?
This majesty of the stinky-foot-sniffers... Did he get a whiff of a clean foot and get parole from the chamber of horrors, or what?! – was just one of the sentences she angrily threw around.
My personal highlight.
However she came up with it, it brightened my spirits in no time. That had an unspoken, great meaning to me. Just like how she had recently fallen asleep during the last movie, leaning against my shoulder.
Calm. Breathing louder and completely relaxed.
It whispered to me that she felt safe and comfortable with me. Of course she did – after all, she was with me.
Too bad she hadn't spent the night with me as well. Barely had the film reached its abrupt end when Mayu woke up again and, half-asleep, dragged herself back to her room.
I wasn't interested in exchanging any kind of affections whatsoever, but truly just in being able to quietly and secretly enjoy Mayu's presence.
Just like I had all the time before that.
Once again, I exhaled heavily and in bursts.
By now, 37 minutes had passed in which I was hanging in the ropes and had no idea how she was doing. On the one hand, that was good, because the longer it took, the longer Shoko was trying to fight for her life. But on the other hand, it simply made me sick with worry.
My head?! A Hollywood catastrophe. Three hours of drama, nominated for four Oscars. Only, I wasn't the hero, but the poor sap in the audience who couldn't do anything.
Disgusting!
I rubbed my face again and peeked through my now slightly cooled fingers at the examination door. I imagined the handle being pushed down and Shoko coming out to relieve me from this miserable waiting. But I wouldn't have accepted any bad news!
But that remained just my wish, because nothing happened. I didn't even hear anything. Not even the loud beeping of her recorded heartbeat.
Shit!
The next scene forced its way into my thoughts. Shoko, dejectedly turning off the machine because Mayu hadn't made it.
My heart tripped over its own rhythm. Inhaling deeply, I threw my head back, closed my eyes and ran my hands through my hair, before letting them come to rest, intertwined, at the back of my head.
That mustn't happen!
I had just begun getting to know her from the ground up.
I wanted to secretly and randomly catch her dancing through the dorm while cleaning one more time. Or rather dancing, with some cleaning steps thrown in between.
In an untypical style of clothing. We were used to seeing her in extravagant outfits. Lots of lace here, flared skirt there, tight-fitting but unfortunately high-necked tops and not to forget her playful romantic look.
But while cleaning?
Her unnatural flowing mane tied into a makeshift bun, from which some strands of hair messily fell out. In sweatpants and a plain T-shirt.
And the special thing about it?
Even in that, I found her sexy. Irresistible.
Kento, who had witnessed the scene at the same time as I did, silently and secretly wondered with me what style of dance it was – to the melodic tunes of Lady Gaga or The Weeknd playing in the background.
A question I wanted to ask at the next opportunity.
She therefore had no other choice but to wake up and be healthy again! I wasn't done with her yet. Not even close.
Again, I threw an exasperated glance at the door, as if it were to blame for all the misery. No movement. Still.
Damn it! Shoko, just come out already! If anyone can save her, it's you! But ...
It wouldn't have taken much more and I would've stormed back into the examination room. It was driving me crazy! I didn't want her to be gone. Not just because I would've been the one to blame.