There are certain moments in life where you realize you've made a critical mistake.
One of those moments is when you're standing in front of your own bathroom, holding a towel, while three beautiful girls argue inside about who gets to wash your back first.
"Ladies, please," I begged. "This wasn't my idea. The system made me do it."
💬 [System Notification]
Daily Mission: Survive Group Bath Incident
Time Limit: [01:00:00]
✅ Win Condition: All three girlfriends leave satisfied.
❌ Failure Condition: Bloodbath (literal and/or romantic)
From behind the bathroom door, I heard Haruka shout, "I brought the loofah, so I go first!"
Then Lucina snapped, "You dare bring mortal cleaning tools into my sacred bath ritual?!"
Nanami, the AI girl, chirped, "I already measured his body proportions for optimal soap coverage~!"
"I'm not even in there yet!" I cried. "Why are you measuring things?!"
💬 New Buff Activated: Embarrassment Resistance (Lvl. 1)
Status Effect: Flustered
Eventually, the girls called a truce. Barely.
We split the bath into two parts: girls go in first, I go in after, and no funny business.
They agreed. Which is why, of course, I walked in ten minutes later to find all three still in the tub.
Lucina raised a wine glass. "Welcome, my beloved."
Haruka clutched a shampoo bottle like a weapon. "It's not what it looks like!"
Nanami sat there naked, her data ports steaming. "Surprise group bonding update~!"
I froze like a deer in headlights. Steam clouded the air, but not enough. Never enough.
"There has to be a law against this," I mumbled, backing toward the door.
💬 [Mission Progress: 40%]
Remaining Objective: Allow all girlfriends to wash your back (in rotation)
"Come on, Hiro," Haruka said, clearly trying to sound casual. "Let's just get it over with."
Lucina tilted her head. "You act like this is torture."
Nanami handed me a waterproof tablet. "I made a turn-based chart!"
Somewhere in the middle of this madness — while Haruka was gently scrubbing my shoulders, and Lucina was muttering about "activating the bloodline," and Nanami was scanning water temperature for "optimal romantic tension" — the system pinged again.
💘 New Confession Detected
Girl #004: Sakura Yume – Transfer Student
Status: Watching you through the bathroom window
Affection Level: 💖
❗Warning: Armed and Unstable
"…What."
I turned. There, outside the small frosted window above the tub, was a pair of glowing pink eyes.
The window shattered.
A figure dressed in a full ninja uniform crashed through in a blur, landed perfectly on the bathroom floor, and pointed a kunai at my face.
"I've found you at last, Harem King."
Lucina sighed. "Ugh. Another one?"
Haruka reached for her loofah like a club. "Who the hell are you?!"
The intruder didn't even blink. "I am Sakura Yume of the Silent Blossom Clan. My mission was to kill the cursed harem host."
She lowered the kunai… and blushed.
"But then… I saw your profile."
💬 System Alert:
Sakura Yume has fallen in love at first glance.
Rejection will result in: Host assassination attempt (95% fatal)
"OF COURSE IT WILL," I screamed. "OF COURSE IT'S ASSASSINATION!"
Sakura sheathed her weapon, got down on one knee, and bowed her head.
"Please accept my love… and possibly a surprise dagger in your ribs. Unless you love me back."
⏳ Timer: [00:01:29]
Confession Response Pending…
"YES, YES, FINE!" I shouted. "I LOVE YOU, TOO! JOIN THE CRAZY HOT TUB OF HORRORS!"
She stood, nodded respectfully, and slipped into the bath like this was the most normal thing in the world.
Haruka screamed. "YOU CAN'T JUST JOIN!"
Lucina scoffed. "Let her. I want to see how long she can survive the steam."
Nanami updated her chart. "New rotation schedule generated!"
✅ Mission Complete!
All girlfriends are clean and emotionally confused
Reward: +2 Peace Points
System Upgrade Available: [Pending]
Current Girlfriend Count: 4/100
Title Unlocked: "Soaked Survivor"
I leaned back against the tile and stared up at the ceiling.
"I hate this system. I hate this life. I hate this bath."
💬 [System Message]
"You'll miss this level of peace soon."
"New Event Incoming: Rival Harem Detected…"
One girlfriend closer to madness…