Usein felt nervous; not only was he supposed to confirm if he would see his crush today, but it would also solidify his high school life. Arwin was a below-average boy; nothing much stood out about him, apart from his golden brown hair and eyes that contrasted with his below-average face. He sighed, the anxiety taking hold as he approached the stairs to the school, the glass entrance welcoming him with a bustle of students rushing through it. Arwin walked through the door, the dread of another school day looming over him. Just then, a tall teen with a muscular figure came into view, and upon seeing him, Arwin's anxiety faded. "Ambrose," his voice sounded relieved as he raced to his much taller friend, who smiled upon seeing his friend.
Arwin paused right in front of his tall friend, his black hair and eyes adding to his quite handsome face. Ambrose was the complete opposite of Arwin. He was smart, good at sports, and popular, so thinking that he was friends with him always put a smile on Arwin's face. "So how'd it go?" Arwin couldn't help but make his face smile brightly, which caused Ambrose to giggle and reply, "Without a hitch." Arwin felt a warmth of relief refill his soul, but just as that happened, a sharp pain enveloped his chest. Arwin resisted the urge to clench his chest and instead put his hands behind his back, gripping them.
"Huh," he sighed. The voice in his head and the pain that came with it Arwin didn't have an idea where it came from In fact, he didn't know a thing but found himself cut off from this thought by Ambrose, who spoke with his calm voice concern filled with concern "Are you okay" Arwin forced a smile and looked up at his tall friend and answered "Don't worry am fine just wondering when I'll get to speak to her" The girl in question being Maria a simple girl that roamed the halls of this school her impact felt throughout the school. Ambrose's face lit up with realisation "oh almost forgot you'll actually be speaking to her again after school" Arwin almost jumped "what do you mean after school" Ambrose giggled again Arwin wondered if his friend was teasing him or just liked to laugh as the handsome boy answered "Don't worry I'll be there to help you"
He's friend's words were meant to be comforting but they didn't seem to quell the anxiety he felt and then there was the pain that sharpened again with that soft emotionless whisper speaking once more 'Idiot you're a complete idiot both of you' The voice was truly an issue Arwin was considering trying a test to find out alot of what he didn't actually know about himself like how (RING RING) the bell sounded signaling the start of class to which the boys rushed to Arwin eagerly awaiting the time that would come after that his final thought simply faded though the pain did not.
"Finally" Arwin stretched feeling the wind of freedom finally take him over It was finally time to go meet Maria From behind him came Ambrose his tall body overshadowing Arwin's own he sighed "No wonder you play volleyball no one would be able to escape your spike " Ambrose moved forward his dazzling smile leaving Arwin knowing why so popular
"Well, anyway, I'd better get everything set up. You go home and get ready, and I'll meet you at dinner, okay?" Arwin valiantly nodded as the two friends went their separate ways. Arwin reached his home, the sight of it putting a sombre look on his face. He walked into the house, where he had lived alone since his parents had got a divorce. He didn't have much of a memory of it though in fact he didn't actually recall anything from before he transferred to this school he found it weird but was unable to think further because whenever he tried he would be met with the pain and the whisper would become a prominent voice that would begin to mock his inadequacy Arwin took a look around and proceeded to change in to a blue and black stripped shirt along with dark nlue jeans he wasn't really a man of fashion so he didn't if he looked cool ir weird "Guess we'll take a gamble" he was done with everything taking only s few minutes to stare at his reflection in a beautiful victorian style mirror it looked original and expensive which was not strange for his family to waste money on such things " Maybe being rich makes you extremely stupid sometimes" though the were rich so he didn't think too much about it, he gave himself a smile and leave for the dinner.
Arwin had always preferred walking to his locations, other than using a car or other means, since this allowed him to always feel the peaceful ambience the place offered. His steps soon brought him to the entrance of the dinner, where he stood nervously. He took his first steps into the dinner and was quickly recognised by Ambrose who smiled when he saw him "Come let me introduce you" Ambrose led Arwin to a certain table which a plywood wall risen to a certain level at one side and along side the seats of the customer enclosed the customer in a tree wsll makeshift room meant to give customers a sense of privacy though not really effective. At the table where he was brought had three students all from there school and were actually just like Ambrose and Maria who was among them Ambrose gestured to the table and spoke with his confident tone "This is Carl, Serry and you already know Maria" Arwin desperately felt out place he was among some of tge most well known studenys at his school Carl his intellegance made him a star with teachers and his lushious black hair and blue eyes added to that appeal then there was Serry her pale brown hair and dark brown hair seemed dazzling she way the star of the track team after all and then Maria her hair resembled smooth silk having been dyed a pale peach colour she was known for her allegiance and great social skills that won her a place in the stood ruling body of their school and tonight he was going to sit with them.
Arwin had imagined this to be one of the best days of his life, but he couldn't be more wrong. he sat in the seat next to Ambrose, but at this point, he was more or less invisible. The night started nicely he was able to speak to Maria but before long she quickly turned her attention to Ambrose leaving Arwin invisible and then there was the voice it's pain with it 'Told you now look all miserable like the idiot you are so tell me how does that feel" This time the voice was loud and prominent forcing upon Arwin pain equal to him feeling like his chest was carving in but he could't let it show and so he quickly started to hate the night he once craved for and to add shame to injury were the voice's emotionless insults.
Ambrose touched Arwin's shoulder which caused Arwin to spring up with a smile only for it to be dismissed by Ambrose's next words "Hey can you please go get us refills" Arwin smiled and stood up hearing the voice speak again "So it seems you're now a butler how unfortunate" Arwin finally reached the counter and received the tray of drinks and turn to look at his reflection his face showed only dismay and sorrow but his refliection didn't instead it gave him an emotiinless voice and sighed Arwin shook his head and proceeded to walk towards the table only to stopped by the voice that spoke with its usual emotionless tone "Fo me favour lets test your friends people like tgem are easy they'll start talking as soon as you leave" Arwin held his chest " Shut up your just a figment of my imagination" and to that the reflection answered "More readon to listen cause that would mean that you want to do it to" Arwin thought for a bit if this entire thing wsd his mind then does it mean he has had these emotions all this time he gripped his chest tighter ss he made his way to the othet way of the table that held the plywood wall and he reached the tabke he stood and he listened "So that was the rich kid such a gullible idiot" "Come now Carl it isn't his fault he wants this life" "Haha if you say so Serry and you Maria" "As long as he pays the bill "Arwin felt a surge of emotions he didn't understand sorrow anger selfpity but the funniest thing was that he still smiled ad tge final voice made its way to his ears "You don't know how hard it was to obtain that moving bank account but worth it" their laughter rang in Arwin's ears who turned and went back to the counter placing the tray of drinks and leaving for his lonely home.
* * * *
Arwin now sat in front of a mirror under the gaze of his emotionless lookalike that soon broke the silence and spoke "If I may ask you why wear a smile that carries no joy" Arwin turned to the mirror and answered "What do you mean my smile carries all yhe joy in the world" but to his surprise his voice carried no weightto the point he doubted it, and soon enough his weird new companion spoke "Are you sure you aren't lying to yourself" Arwin felt the pain in his chest swell as he turned to face the ceiling why he smiled anf why he felt si much pain without even knowing the reason why and then he found himself starting to talk "The reason I smile isbecause am scared, am scared of being asked if am okay cause if someone truly did I mightbreak down and cry for no reason, I smile because it hurts, I smile cause I don't want people to get concerned, my tears are always close thats evrryday is astruggle to hold them back, I smile alot, talk too much ..I never get pissed and am always apologising, I don't want to be hated but at the same time I don't want to be loved because they both bring tears to my eyes thats why I smile cause am afraid to see the side of me that doesn't I don't wanna see my self cry cause if I do I may never smile again" the rflection listened its face still pretty much emotionless asit reached out its hand and said "Then take my hand and I'll take your pain" . Arwin felt a compulsion pull him to that hand and so he reached for ,it his hand permeating the mirror to finally touch the aooartion and with that it pulled him in as he heard "Let me now show you the collective conscious"