The morning of the trip arrived faster than I had expected.
Trip day.
I groaned into my coffee like a tired salaryman.
"Normally, I'd never let you go on a luxury weekend trip while you're sick, Saki... but not only would I have to fight you, I'd have to fight four war criminals in eyeliner."
Saki, still sniffling like a drama heroine in a hospital bed, grinned.
"Hehehe. You're just jelly that I'm gonna have a better weekend than you."
And you know what?
She was right. I was absolutely jelly. This gremlin was about to live her best five-star life while I babysat four emotionally unstable swimsuit models.
I didn't answer her. I just gave her the cold, dead eyes of a man who had accepted his fate.
She flashed a peace sign while dragging her ridiculously expensive suitcase, the kind of suitcase that screamed "stolen from a celebrity" toward the door. Meanwhile, I was stuffing backup socks into a plastic bag like I was going on a camping trip during a recession.
Then…
BEEP BEEP.
A sleek, jet-black limousine pulled up outside.
"…You weren't joking?" I blinked, staring out the window like a caveman discovering fire.
Saki waved with smug enthusiasm.
"They said we'd ride in style!"
The limo door popped open, and out stepped Nao, Reina, Arisa… and Yuki. Dressed in casual-trip fits and sunglasses, they looked like a J-pop girl group ready to debut. Arisa even winked in slow motion. I think there was a wind machine, I'm not sure.
I was not ready.
I opened the door and helped Saki out first, like a good big brother. But the moment she stepped out, she was instantly swallowed by the girl group. My gremlin had been accepted into the idol society.
Saki blinked up at them. "Whoa. You guys are real?"
Nao leaned down. "So this is Saki-chan? You're even cuter than your brother!"
Saki giggled. "He's a pain, but without me, he'd be a crusty loser. I keep him alive and moisturized."
Yuki stepped forward, arms folded. She gave Saki a rare soft smile…
…and then turned to me like I was Public Enemy Number One.
"You're lucky you've got a sister pass. Otherwise, we would've left your pervy ass behind."
"Wow, thanks, Saki."
Arisa clapped her hands. "Okay, okay, let's get this party loaded up!"
But of course... my luck had just run out.
I bent down to grab Saki's water bottle, the same one I told her not to bring, and tripped.
I didn't just fall. I launched. Like a warhead.
Straight into Arisa's…
Pillowy demise.
WAMPF.
"…."
My entire face was submerged. It was soft. Like a dream. A sinful, fluffy cloud.
Arisa gasped.
"SOOUUUUTAAAA!!"
Time froze. Wilhelm, the limo driver, even lowered his shades for a better look.
I shot up like a guilty man on trial.
"I SWEAR I TRIPPED! I SWEAR ON OUR UNPAID RENT!!"
The girls just stared at me. Including Saki, who was now doing her best to keep a straight face while quietly dying inside.
Then…
SLAM.
The limo door shut.
And they left.
They actually left me.
One minute later, I got a text from Saki.
[WELP. Guess you're biking to school. Enjoy, maid-chan 😎]
"I hate my life."
And so, with my plastic grocery bag of shame flapping on my back, I peddled behind a luxury limo filled with judgment, confusion, and bras I never asked to meet.
"This trip is off to a fantastic start."
By the time I arrived at school, I looked like I'd survived a natural disaster.
My bike squeaked like it was crying for help. My back was soaked, my bangs were glued to my forehead, and my socks? Unsalvageable. I dragged myself into the front courtyard like a background character that had strayed into the main plot.
Then came salvation.
"Ah, Souta, sir."
Wilhelm, standing by the limo with a single embroidered towel in hand, offered it to me like a knight presenting a holy relic.
I took it without a word, pressing it to my forehead like a man about to weep.
Yuki walked past and muttered, "Smells like cheap detergent."
Arisa gave a pity clap.
"Yay~ our maid made it. Good job, peasant."
Nao tried to fan me with her hand like I was overheating, only to accidentally slap me across the face.
Saki, meanwhile, poked her head out from the limo, wrapped in her luxury spa blanket.
"Fight on, Oni-chan. I'll be sipping herbal tea in a hot tub thinking of your suffering."
"You're evil."
Wilhelm chuckled as he opened the door for her. "Enjoy your spa retreat, young miss. I have the itinerary, and we'll begin with a vitamin drip and cucumber eye treatments."
"…She's not a celebrity, Wilhelm."
"She is to me."
And like that, the limo pulled off, taking Saki to her luxurious recovery and leaving me, the human ragdoll, in the dust.
I was so mentally broken I didn't even notice someone slap my back hard.
"YO, SOUTA MY MAN!"
I turned around and was met with the wild grin of Shinji Takemura, my self-proclaimed friend, professional loudmouth, and part-time disaster. I should have mentioned it before, I met him during the second day of school, but honestly, he's a weird guy.
Imagine if a golden retriever drank three Red Bulls, put on a school uniform, and then said, "Let's ruin the vibe." That's Shinji.
"Heard you're on the same trip as the Four Horsewomen of Emotional Trauma. Brave, man. Bold."
I blinked at him. "I thought you were sick."
"Faked it. My mom bought it. Boom. Strategy." He winked.
Before I could question further, the teacher started her roll call and ushered us all onto the school bus. I tried to make a beeline to the middle seats, neutral ground, the Switzerland of bus real estate, but I was too slow.
Every seat was taken…
Except for the very back.
Five seats.
Five girls.
One me.
God is cruel.
I turned around to retreat, but the teacher called out.
"Souta! Don't block the aisle. Take a seat!"
Like a man condemned, I slowly walked to the back of the bus.
The girls were already waiting like judges on a panel. And there it was, the tension. The unspoken war over who gets to sit next to him.
Nao was the first to launch.
"Shotgun!" she yelled, slamming her bag down beside the window.
"I mean… not that I want to, I just called it. It's, uh, tradition. Yup."
Arisa leaned over with a smirk.
"I think it's only fair I sit next to him; he's seen more of me than anyone else here."
Yuki didn't even bother responding. She just scoffed and looked out the window.
Reina stared blankly for a moment… then stood and said softly,
"I'll sit with Souta."
Everyone froze. Even the bus driver might've blinked in surprise.
Reina calmly sat beside me, and the rest reluctantly took the remaining seats. For a moment… peace.
"So…" I said awkwardly. "Looking forward to the village?"
She looked down at her lap.
"…I think it'll be peaceful. Maybe we'll see some stars."
"Oh. Yeah. Stars are nice."
Naoko leaned forward between the seats.
"Oooh~ are you two on a date now? Should I tell the driver to take the long scenic route?"
I sighed.
Reina blushed faintly and turned to the window.
Before I could enjoy the brief calm, Arisa leaned over my other shoulder.
"By the way, Souta, just FYI: if Reina falls asleep, I'm switching seats. You're my body pillow, remember?"
"I never agreed to this-"
SMACK.
Nao slapped my shoulder again.
"You're not gonna nap, right? I brought Uno. Let's play on your lap."
"LET ME REST IN PEACE."
"NOPE."
And thus began the bus ride from hell.
One girl on my left was watching clouds, one on my right pretending I was a cushion, and two behind me plotting something involving Uno cards and my dignity.
Shinji, two rows ahead, turned back, held up a peace sign, and mouthed:
"I envy you, and I hate you."