Chapter 15: Not Because I Didn't Love You, But Because I Was Too Late
That morning, the rain fell gently, as if it understood what was happening in Aurel's heart.
She stood on her balcony, staring at the wet street and the grey sky.
Inside her belly, life was growing.
But inside her heart… something was slowly dying.
Damar hadn't come home the night before.
He sent a short message:
> "I need time alone."
That was it.
No greeting, no emoji, no question in return.
Aurel knew she had shattered the trust of someone who never meant to hurt her.
But at the same time, her heart couldn't lie about what it still felt—and what it could no longer feel.
---
That afternoon, Bu Siti came holding something.
"Someone from the station brought this to the house," she said.
"They said Rey had left this letter two years ago. It was just found this morning… stuck in a drawer at the post office."
Aurel looked at the letter.
The paper had yellowed slightly. Rey's handwriting was still clear.
Her name was written on the envelope—with neat strokes, full of hope.
Her hands trembled as she opened it.
---
> "To Aurel, the one I always think about
> By the time you read this, I might already be far away.
Maybe you've forgotten me.
But I want you to know one thing:
> I didn't leave because I gave up.
I left because I wanted to become someone worthy of you.
> I know I'm a nobody.
But I promise, one day I'll come back.
I'll stand at your doorstep—not as a poor boy,
but as a man you can be proud of.
> Please wait for me.
Even if it's just for a little while.
> If you read this and I haven't returned yet, pray for me.
If I've come back and you're no longer part of the same world I belong to…
> I hope you're happy,
even if it's not with me.
> With a love that never faded,
Rey."*
---
Aurel cried as she read it.
Not just tears of sadness,
but tears of regret, of longing,
of being strangled by time that couldn't be turned back.
She hugged the letter tightly, as if she could absorb all the promises that had arrived too late.
---
Elsewhere in the city,
Rey sat in the hospital courtyard.
The doctor had allowed him a few minutes of sunlight as part of his therapy.
Rey looked up at the sky.
A sliver of light pierced through the clouds.
He closed his eyes and smiled faintly.
"She's still alive," he whispered.
"And I still love her."
---
That night, Damar returned home.
His face was calm, but his eyes were tired.
Aurel approached him with Rey's letter in hand.
"I'm not asking you to understand…" she said softly,
"…but I want to say I'm sorry."
Damar looked at the letter, then asked:
"Do you still love him?"
Aurel looked down.
She couldn't lie.
But she couldn't hurt Damar more than she already had.
"Love… isn't always about having someone," she said.
"But I know a part of my heart is still stuck in the past."
Damar took a long breath.
Then said,
"I'll stay. If you choose to stay in this house, I'll protect you. And our child."
Aurel looked at him.
Her eyes were wet.
"But if one day you feel like you need to go…
I'll know you were never really mine."
---
The chapter ends with Aurel standing by the window,
holding Rey's letter and gently caressing her belly.
"Forgive me…" she whispered to the baby inside.
"I once trusted time too much…
but love was never about someday—
it was always about today."