I think I had a dream last night. What did I see? I don't remember very well. Was it something significant?
It was like... No, it was definitely a shark. A shark? Just a damn shark swimming across the clear surface of the water. It was quite strange, wasn't it? No, I often dream about all sorts of nonsense, but a stupid shark, out of nowhere... Okay. Perhaps these changes are having an unconventional effect on me. It was just a shark. It was cute. I suppose so.
Bright sunlight hit my eyes as soon as I opened them.
It's morning. How am I still alive after being stabbed in the middle of the night? It's amazing.
My hands were numb from the uncomfortable position, and I felt like my blood was boiling inside them, sticking to my skin. I uncurled my fingers, revealing my red manicure. It sparkled and shimmered in the light, with small bits of glitter catching the rays.
Soon, I shifted my focus to another object in the room: a glass of water on the bedside table.
"The Sahara Desert is in my throat."
Reaching out my palm towards my small target, I clenched it into a ring, wrapping my fingers around the diameter of the glass. Soon, the contents were in my mouth. The liquid was warm, leaving a pleasant warming effect. The unexpected bitterness made me wince, coughing.
"Did I just slam some vodka or is my body totally freaking out?'
I got up from the bed and rubbed my eyes, running my hands through my hair. It was tangled, but soft. Karina would have to deal with it. Today, I wanted her to create a simple hairstyle. I didn't want my head to feel like it was being stretched in two directions, and I didn't want my eyes to look like they had been treated with "fox eyes."
Of course, there was no button or bell. So I had no choice but to call out for Karina myself.
The bed creaked when I got up. At least the floor was relatively intact, thank God. Wood would have been much easier to set on fire, by the way.
Chuckling softly at my own thought, I approached the door. A push on the handle forced it to open, and then I encountered an unwelcome presence.
The Count was walking away from my room, about thirty paces away. This place, which was barely even a room, was the only one in the wing. All the other rooms were further away, so his departure from this side made me tense up.
'What did he want, gray-eared?'
I secretly gave Bernard the finger and closed the door quietly. The realization that I had woken up with the first rays of the sun led me to believe that Karina thought I was still asleep. I couldn't leave the room in my nightgown, and shouting would only attract attention, which I was trying to avoid.
In a different situation, I would have fallen asleep a second time, but apparently, that shark was seriously against it.
"Wonderful. How wonderfully one could live alone in Korea."
Well, I knew for sure that I wouldn't be able to put any of the dresses on myself. No, have you seen this coat? Even Karina often raises her eyebrows when she sees this seven-circle knot of hell. So, deciding to follow my heart, I approached the closet. The doors creaked unpleasantly as they opened, revealing the remaining clothes. There were only three dresses, and they were all complicated. My last hope for something simple quickly faded, and a nervous smile stretched across my face.
"I don't understand how someone can be such a magnet for bad luck."
Shifting from one foot to another, I blew an annoying lock of hair off my face and rested my hands on my hips. This whole situation was really bothering me. I hated waiting. I had enough patience for drawing, but it seemed to be slipping away in other areas. It was ironic that I had been trying to get back into a normal sleep schedule at home, but here I was waking up early, but it wasn't helping. In fact, it was making things worse. I felt tired and constantly apathetic. But is it a dream? I don't know.
My attention was suddenly drawn to a fourth item that I had previously overlooked, assuming it was just another outfit. It was a burgundy robe, commonly seen in 18+ novels. Although it did not feature any oblong cutouts along the bust or similar features, the robe was quite short, barely reaching the knees. Additionally, the material evoked memories of a book I had read when I was fifteen years old. In that book, a similar garment was ripped off the protagonist by a man when they were in a private setting. But how dare I put it on and go out with the others? Even my face might betray a blush.
'Okay. It's better than that pointless nightgown.'
Wrapped in a robe, I evaluated my hair for the possibility of combing it. The result did not leave me delighted, and the solution was to spit on everything.
The door creaked, playing a symphony on my nerves. As I walked down the hall, I hoped that I wouldn't encounter any of the family members again. At least not until Karina came out to greet me.
She was nowhere to be found. But as I approached the entrance to the hall, an indistinct conversation reached my ears, drawing my attention. I took refuge behind the door, relying on the lubrication of its hinges. The raised tones were jarring, but my curiosity was stronger.
- Aren't you getting a bit too full of yourself, especially for nothing?
'Geraldine's voice. Who is he yelling at?'
- Your damn courage shows itself in a fight, you insolent girl?
The other woman was silent, and my bad feeling intensified under the weight of the man's curses. They were standing very close, so I was worried about being noticed. An inner voice was tormenting me, trying to reach out.
'Look out. Come on, just look..'
All my strength was clenched in a fist.
- I'm not expecting an apology, am I? Are you sure you're a maid and not a stupid mutt from the slums?!
A small part of my face appeared around the corner, but it was enough for me to see the person I didn't want to see. Karina was standing with her head down, accompanied by her brother. There was another person behind them, but I couldn't see them clearly. My mouth opened in a silent question, and my nails scraped against the wood.
'What's going on?'
A sharp fang almost bit through his lip as his mind raced with thoughts.
'A fight.. There's someone behind Gerald. Who? Did she get involved with him?'
- No. I didn't do anything wrong,- a woman's voice said firmly, finally responding to the aggression.
However, this was followed by a typical reaction that signified extreme dissatisfaction.
- What did you say?-.. the voice was low, but it didn't give her any peace of mind, not at all. Quite the opposite. After all, immediately after this is a cry with decibels, over the previous several times.
- Damn bitch, bickering with your master?! - Have you forgotten who you are and who I am?
The man's face contorted with anger. One girl's expression remained almost unchanged. As always, behind her steel mask, she displayed neither fear nor anger.
- If I have to beat the fucking words out of you, I will!- His hand started to rise, and we all knew what he wanted to do. But Karina couldn't do anything about it. You know, it's probably one of the most terrifying feelings, to see something about to happen to you, but not have the power to stop it.
My detachment evaporated, leaving a parting shot: "Go for it."
By the time the blow came, I was in front of the girl, putting myself in her place. I could have put my hand in front of me, but I don't think I would have had time. The man's hand was catastrophically close, so the only action I could have taken was to close my eyes. As soon as I did that, a large hand struck my pale face with a sharp blow. Since Karina was slightly taller than me, the blow didn't hit my cheek but rather my eye and the bone next to it. It was even more painful. Nevertheless, my head flew to the side, and the girl, as soon as I squeezed between her and Gerald, recoiled backward.
'Damn. That's not how I wanted to start my morning.'
My half-closed eyes revealed his brother's dumbfounded face. He stared at me, his irises moving from one side to the other. For me. His hand went down, and mine touched the redness. The spot where I'd been hit throbbed uncomfortably.
There was a sharp intake of breath from behind.
- You...- A confused, incomprehensible sound came from the front.
- What 'I'?" - I didn't look at Geraldine. Paul was my companion. - Do you like to mock maids?
- What the hell do you.. think you're doing!? - He clearly wasn't expecting this. His voice revealed the truth.
- What does it look like? Protecting my personal maid from your atrocities,- I finally looked up at the man. - Unfortunately, I have to sacrifice my face.
Now I understood better. Behind my brother, Nova's piercing green eyes were fixed on me. She seemed to be radiating it, her hands resting on her broad shoulders, defying the prohibition.
- Ilissa, now I'm wondering who left you with such a injury. Did you get hit with a shovel?- His slyness left me feeling strange. I didn't have the energy to argue, but I continued.
- I've always been curious about this. Geraldine, who caused you such trauma?- He twirled his finger near his temple. - Perhaps the Count once poisoned you as well?
- What the fuck are you saying, you insane bitch?
- Let's avoid the shovels together, shall we?- His hand remained on his face. The man's gaze flickered from one of my eyes to the other. Nova kept a close watch on me.
I tried to hurt him in every way I could, to make Gerald's life harder. My father was one of the main sources of pressure. I wanted him to feel the same way. God, I wanted him to feel the same way.
- He's an extremely unstable person. Today he cherishes, and tomorrow he lets out lightning bolts and signs a document on the change in the will. Whatever you do, whoever you are.. his brother's eyes twinkled with a different light. He wasn't so sure of himself anymore. Which is exactly what I wanted.
- You're acting like a heroine. You're putting yourself in front of your stupidity, and you're eager for revenge,- he finally started saying something new. - Your whole being is about getting your father's honor and rising from the mud to become the head of your family.
These words didn't make me angry or anything. I didn't care.
- Is that so? I don't really care who becomes the next head of the Vanos family, whether it's you or a ragamuffin from the slums. There's no help for the family anymore. So what difference does it make who continues to drown them?
Gerald gestured for the maids to leave. I confirmed his order by telling Karina to do so.
- Idiot. Only I can elevate our family in the eyes of others. I've been training for this since childhood, while you've been wandering around the estate doing nothing.
- Really? And what will you do when you take this invisible "important" position?
There was no answer. He was silent, thinking about my really difficult question. After a while, Geraldine came up with something to say:
- I pledge to do everything possible for the welfare of the Empire and my family.
- Do you have it?- The next attacker hit the man, and he disappeared. My voice was annoyingly calm, which probably made my brother furious. He clenched his fists.
- Stop asking endless questions. It's not worth listening to your mind. I'm in a higher position, so shut your mouth and don't try to interfere. My father will never leave me, and I do everything he says.
- Is that what you think?- I said, as if I hadn't heard him. I saved the hint for the end, when he would get tired of thinking. - Even if he ever finds out that there are abominations in his domain?
- What?
- Among other things, if Bernard is suddenly informed that his humble son has dared to develop feelings for someone he is not allowed to be with? - it wasn't even a subtle hint. I've already spoken directly.
Geraldine visibly tensed. He bit his lip, almost drawing blood. Then his gaze dropped to my robe. His cheeks turned slightly red, and I felt disgusted.
- And... What's with your outfit?!- Brother's right eye seemed to twitch. His face expressed a mix of emotions, as if he were on the verge of a hysterical breakdown.
I moved closer, reducing the distance for eye contact, so he wouldn't be staring at my clothes anymore.
"He skillfully changed the subject."
All the objects in the room exuded tension mixed with hatred. I even found it harder to breathe.
- It's a charming outfit. But I didn't dress up for you, don't worry,- my hand brushed a stray hair off my forehead. - I think it would look more elegant with pink hair.
Geraldine's eyebrow was ready to drop a kilometer below the second. He also had no intention of backing down, wanting to raise his heavy hand. My eyes lowered to it, without changing my expression by a tone, and this prevented the man from carrying out his plan.
The sudden sound of the doors opening instantly caught the attention of both of them. The bright light dissipated, helping them to make out the Count's image.
- What are you doing here?- His voice was stern and angry, and his eyes darted between the two children.
A flash of pain shot through my head, hitting everything in its path and making me stagger back.
- Father,- he didn't finish, turning to me.
I really didn't want to kneel in front of them, so I reached out and found the wall to support myself. Gerald let out an incomprehensible sigh, indicating that he hadn't expected this. Bernard, on the other hand, let a satisfied expression cross his face, which made me feel uneasy.
- ...
- Snarling again?- The man nodded at his father's question, clenching his fists until they creaked. It was as if he was caught between thoughts. - She can't control her wildness.
When the weakness subsided a little, I found the strength to pull myself off the poorly cleaned wall and stand up.
- What are you wearing?- The Count noticed as well.
'You should know how much you annoy me.' - only such unspoken words swirled in my head.
My brother narrowed his eyes and said sarcastically:
- Pretending?
'I feel sick.'
The rays blinded me, causing even more discomfort.
"I can't! It's all so suffocating..'
- I feel sick,- I said to my family, and then I headed for the door.
- I didn't allow you to leave,- the Count said, his voice as still as a statue, piercing your soul.
As I walked past him and made eye contact, I said as contemptuously as I could:
- Do you want me to vomit right here?
Clap-
'I think my small goal of changing unnoticed was doomed to fail from the start, due to my sometimes uncontrollable aggression.'
It's so difficult for me sometimes. I don't know how I got here, but I'm saying this: being a transfer student is not easy. Perhaps it's because relocation Ilyssa is not a heroine of a romance novel. But...
"Isn't it impossible?'
I turned around in the deserted hallway, walking back to my room.
- ...
A deep breath escaped his lips.
However, my hope of avoiding Bernard and Geraldine for at least the rest of the day was dashed. I had no idea what my carelessness would lead to.
***
- Good morning, lady, - Karina greeted them with a bow, her tone tinged with irritation.
- I've seen you before.
The maid straightened up and, tucking her hair behind her ears, approached me. Her gaze was ominous. Cold and thoughtful.
The gray dress fluttered slightly with each step, and the black shoes tapped on the floor.
Cold hands burned my neck, briefly relieving the pain. I closed my eyes and shrugged, surrendering to the sensations. The comb in the girl's hands skillfully tamed my tangled hair, causing minimal discomfort. Her gentle movements made me feel like I was dissolving like coffee in boiling water.
A thin thread of vanilla mixed with cinnamon stretched next to my nose. The sweet and spicy, barely perceptible trail was like a gentle kiss, a delicate touch of lips, where you're afraid that all reality will dissolve. Karina's perfume slowly but surely enveloped my consciousness, as if I were drowning in the air. The ecstasy continued until the maid spoke.
- Lady Ilissa, I ask you to dismiss me from my position as your personal maid.
Tudhum-
The most unexpected of all the phrases crashed down with a thud. I jumped up from my chair and turned to Karina.
- What? - composure as a quality shuddered, and my eyes peered into her bit of a silly joke, - Why?
The girl wasn't looking at me anymore.
- You're saving me again. What kind of personal maid am I if I'm the one who gave you a bruise on your face?- Karina looked at my cheekbone and sighed in frustration.
I had nothing to say.
"She blames herself for everything."
- What's today, - the girl continued, - what's that time on the stairs..
- On the stairs?
The maid put the comb on the dresser and wiped her eyes with her wrists.
- Ah, yes. You probably don't remember anymore.
-...
I scrolled through my memories, but to no avail.
- It seems to have been about four years ago. My ankle was twisted at the wrong time: I was tasked with carrying some items down from the second floor of the estate.- Karina paused, as if recalling the details, - I almost fell down the stairs, but you saved me. Thanks, my health is back to normal. Thank you again.
- Oh, yeah, I remember that.
"I don't remember anything. But it's really interesting. And it seems that not all of my memories have been transferred to me."
- By the way, that was our first interaction, if I'm not mistaken. I've only seen you from a distance before.
- You know, at that moment, I even thought I'd like to have you as my maid. I was very impressed with you.
"Sometimes it's better to lie for the sake of convenience. People like to hear good things about themselves."
Our next silent conversation of the eyes told us everything:
- So you're not staying?
- Sorry, no. That would be wrong.
I've been focused on keeping Karina by my side. Keeping her from thinking about leaving me is a different story.
My stomach was turning, and my spinning head was affecting my ability to think.
"How could I get so sick?'
- If you leave, what do I do? None of the remaining maids are suitable for this role. As it is, - a flash of pain shot through my head. -..i might as well crumble under the weight of my family.
-...-The girl furrowed her brow. - Yes, you're right about that, lady. But what should we do?
I went to the closet, opening it and looking for something interesting again, as if I hadn't seen these dresses countless times before.
- You've already fulfilled my big request by bringing me the hay,- her hand stroked the fabrics, - but I'm afraid I don't even know what will happen next.
"I can feel Karina staring at me from behind."
- The best option is here.
***
The girl helped me put on a dark blue dress while I told her my news.
- I have some information about Gerald.
She responded in her usual even voice, instilling a sense of uncertainty, as if to make me realize that my actions had consequences and that I was not protected by the story. This made me feel a little more nervous.
- Should i really be hearing this?
I looked out the window, noticing a couple of birds sitting on a branch of a large tree. They were wagging their heads, occasionally flying to other locations. All of this - shifting my attention to completely different objects - made it difficult for me to focus, but for some reason, it made it even harder to gather my thoughts.
- I have no one to share with, Karina. And you're certainly not a count's spy who can reveal all my secrets by rubbing her hands together.
- You're so sure.
The hand slid over the white fabric that covered a small part of the blue. The dressing was almost complete, but we hadn't finished talking. The maid was smoothing out all the wrinkles, as if she were preparing me for an Imperial ball rather than a hallway filled with old furniture.
"I'm so tired of these four dilapidated walls.'
- Perhaps my overconfidence will get me into trouble one day. However, I'm still alive right now, so listen," the clasp on the shoe tightened around her foot, causing a slight discomfort, - Geraldine is now walking around with one of the maids.
Karina tilted her head slightly, as I thought, and definitely furrowed her brow.
- Nova.
- Exactly.
The girl finished my transformation and walked over to the window, folding her arms across her chest. I remained in my chair, resting my heavy head on my fist.
- Everyone knows about it, among the workers. Expected.- She glanced at the door, but quickly looked away when I spoke.
- She doesn't seem to be trying to hide from his family. Or maybe she thinks she's smarter than everyone else.
In less than a second, as I finished the sentence, and suddenly with a loud knock, the very door that Karina was looking at opened, "exposing" the view of a tall man.
'Count?'
- I didn't imagine it,- the girl said in a barely audible voice, exhaling wearily but bowing.
- You're such a deceitful witch, - he growled angrily, removing his hand from the door.
'Well, first of all, good morning.'
My expectant gaze was fixed on his narrowed eyes of contempt. His posture showed his annoyance.
- Acting like a damned innocent, but in reality, who is? A master of dirty gossip,- Bernard said through gritted teeth as he walked deeper into the room.
I followed him with my eyes, keeping him in sight until he turned around and walked behind me on purpose. This atmosphere turned into an icy stream of particles in my stomach, causing my hands to become cold and sweaty. I was very unfamiliar with such situations, which made me extremely uncomfortable.
Karina wasn't looking at us, but she was on her guard. I knew she couldn't help me if something happened. I was on my own in this "battle."
My unfocused gaze barely moved, shifting only occasionally.
- Is it an honor to talk about your brother with a scum? Is this what I taught you?- It was the fact that he wasn't throwing objects around that made me uneasy.
"What have you been teaching me, then?" - I've been thinking that Ilissa is me. It's getting harder and harder not to think about it that way, because all of her memories, feelings, and thoughts are now mine. Even her damn family.
- How can you be so insolent?- The Count stopped right behind me and leaned his arms on the back of the chair. It creaked unpleasantly, making me grimace slightly.
-It's rude ro eavesdrop,- and that's not the only thing I wanted to say to him, but it was the best option.
'Let's ignore the fact that I was blatantly eavesdropping today.'
Apparently, at this point, Bernard's patience finally ran out, judging by the way he sucked in a loud breath. Anticipating something bad, I jumped up from my chair, trying to avoid sitting with my back to him. His red-rimmed eyes, fixed on mine, were slightly wide, confirming my suspicions.
Karina looked from me to the Count, her hand gripping the windowsill.
- Oh, look at our little angel, - the air in the room thickened, every sound seemed louder, and the silence was stifling. Her father's mocking, pitying tone grated on her ears, irritating her.
- ... - My eyebrows were ready to meet, and his nails were almost cutting through his palm.
- Although, you know, you've always been like that. You played the role of a scared little girl, but deep down, you always wanted to cause trouble,- his hand reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out a cigarette. Then, using a makeshift lighter, he lit the tip and inhaled the first puff of smoke.
"You should be more careful with the fire."
He slowly approached and exhaled a cloud of tobacco grayness into my face, forcing me to break eye contact and squint as I coughed: " There are hundreds of thousands, if not more, like you. Your insignificant opera doesn't have a good ending, and it's time to end it."
I wiped my eyes with my wrist, then frowned at the man.
- What do you mean by 'opera'?- The sound of my heels breaking the oppressive silence as I moved behind the chair where Bernard had been standing. It was like a game of cat and mouse, but I didn't like it because I was the mouse, - My pretense is only to be able to tolerate your and brother's faces every day. How utterly sick i'm of you..
"I can't say that they're true, even though they're made up, and I'm new to this world.'
After another puff of smoke, his tightly clenched fingers broke the cigarette. I didn't want to be around him, because that's usually how murders start. But the question is, who will kill who? My physical strength wouldn't be enough to take on someone like him. If his fist connected with my head, I'd be gone.
I saw Karina's anguish. She had no choice but to watch as her lady was on the edge of a knife. Her skin turned into a white piece of marble, resembling a corpse.
- Since when did you get so brazen, bloody daughter? Think you're a duchess now?- He continued to smoke despite the broken cigarette, - You forget that you're just a filthy brat who killed her own mother.
I exhaled, knowing what was coming next. I wouldn't be able to control myself, just like Bernard, and it would backfire.
- I'm sorry to disappoint you, Count. The monster that killed my mother is not me. That monster is none other than you,- and as I finished, my heart skipped a beat. Bernard crushed his cigarette and threw it on the floor, stomping on it. His clenched jaw and bloodshot eyes betrayed his rage, and I knew he was not in his right mind.
- This has gone way too fucking far! How dare you accuse your father of such a thing?! Do you think you can wash away your sins?
The Count grabbed the chair I was hiding behind and threw it against the wall, causing Karina to jump back.
A drop of cold sweat rolled down my back. He really did look intimidating, especially when the shadow enveloped his face.
"Come on, hit me. All you can do is swing your fists at women."
Remembering how vividly the novella described Bernard's abuse of his wife, I clenched my teeth. Gods, how I resented his arrogance, which was fueled by his willingness to beat those who could not fight back!
- There are no saints in this fucking Vanos family! Do you think you'll be rewarded for your constant abuse of me and Rizanne?- As soon as the Count heard the name, his hand landed firmly on my right cheek. I exhaled.
'What's up, huh?! First Gerald, now him?'
Now there were abrasions on both of her cheeks. The maid covered her mouth with her hand and lowered her head. Her blonde hair fell over her face and shoulders, obscuring her expression.
I touched a sore spot, slowly turning my head to look at my father.
Our argument escalated into shouting, and something tells me that Geraldine can hear us clearly, but she doesn't show herself.
- I don't like your behavior anymore! You've changed for the worse. I thought you were trying to make amends to your mother. But what happened in the end?- His voice cracked with anger, causing a hoarse tone to emerge.
I clenched my fists, feeling an irresistible urge to punch the Count in the mouth.
- What's my fault? - The role of Ilissa has become a part of me, and perhaps that's what drives me to make Bernard understand that there is no one to blame for what happened. But who knows, maybe she could have survived in human conditions, - It just happened. I'm not involved, please understand! There's no need to hate me so fiercely.
"I need to steer this conversation in a different direction. He's getting angry."
Suddenly, Karina intervened, apparently realizing that the situation was becoming dangerous.
- Mister, lady, perhaps you should calm down a bit?- She tried to separate us as delicately as possible, but for the Count, it was just another reason to yell.
- And you don't interfere at all, Damn scrub!- he turned to me, his eyes tearing out my soul, - And who gave you the right to make decisions on your own?- He recalled my choice of a personal maid, -I did not give my blessing for that.
His displeasure only made me laugh.
"It's funny that he doesn't find any more reasons to scold me. But strangely, he doesn't take any punitive measures."
- Are we having a wedding here, so I need your blessing?,- eyebrows danced their wave.
The Count approached, forcing her to look up at him.
- You're such a bitch. No one will marry you, insolent brat!
I wasn't laughing anymore, but the whole situation was making me angry. On top of that, I had a terrible headache with white flashes in my eyes. The combination of these factors made me extremely tired, and the shouting was causing my eardrums to burst. I was surrounded by unfamiliar places, aggressive people, and a poor physical condition. I was so fed up.
- You ended up married, so I'm pretty sure I can do it,- No, I didn't have a wedding in mind. A tyrannical husband who'll finish me off before Shiron? Thanks, but nah. Well, or the Crown Prince will.
Bernard was seriously annoyed by my stubbornness. He was used to his children and subordinates not saying a word to him, but this rack of sins was talking a lot.
With his teeth bared in fury and his eyebrows lowered, the Count approached Karina, grabbing her by the wrist. I staggered, either from physical discomfort or from the intensity of my emotions.
- Quickly. Follow me!- He pulled the maid behind him, probably leaving a bruise on her arm.
Almost instantly, I was in front of him, squeezing their hands together and preventing them from leaving.
- No.