Hearing Eris's words, Rudeus instinctively wanted to retort to the young lady, but the next moment, he heard Alan's laughter. He blinked and turned to look at Alan, noticing that his face was finally no longer tense. He let out a very subtle sigh of relief.
'Alan looks a little better. The pressure just now was intense. His constantly tense face made people nervous. Speaking of which, his expression was also scary when we first met, but today's expression is different from then, it feels more oppressive.'
'Back then, he just didn't like to smile and had a fierce expression, but today he exudes a repressive aura from the inside out.'
While Rudeus was thinking, Alphonse, looking rather helpless, had already ordered a maid to bring a new chair from the next room. Eris, seeing that this troublemaker Rudeus had finally submitted to 'discipline', showed a very smug expression. She started to walk, ready to take them to the next place to 'visit'.
Amidst the sound of footsteps, everyone began to move out. Eris walked at the front, followed by Alan. Rudeus subconsciously followed Alan, looking down at the heel of his boot. It was still stained with Thomas's blood.
'Is Alan's strange aura because he killed someone, so he needs a period of adjustment like me?'
'No, it's not.'
'Alan is not someone who would be deterred by death, nor would he feel uncomfortable for killing someone like I do. He has strong initiative and is as natural as eating and drinking when it comes to sending people on their way. He never holds back. Whether it was when he went alone to 'solve' his own bounty problem, or later when he fought his way through a lake of blood in the snow valley for a day and a night, or last night when he pursued the assassins overnight and brought back their heads, all of these prove this point.'
The sound of footsteps merged with his thoughts. The group had already reached the doorway.
'Strong initiative is often backed by a tough will. Alan's will is also very strong—'
Thump. Rudeus bumped into Alan's back, the impact interrupting his thoughts. He looked up and found that Alan had stopped at some point, blocking the doorway. Everyone except Eris was blocked by him and turned to look at him.
In everyone's line of sight, Alan was turning his head to look at the corner at the end of the corridor outside the door. The next moment, he lowered his head and looked at his feet. Along with this action, a distinct sound drifted from the corridor into everyone's ears, like the rustling of some kind of cloth rubbing against the ground, accompanied by light footsteps.
Rudeus blinked and realized. It was the sound of a skirt dragging on the ground. As the thought fell, a figure turned the corner. Hilda, in a red dress, her hair the color of fire.
In the time that had passed, she had changed into a more exquisite red dress than the one she had worn in the morning, with a stand-up collar at the neck and sides, which gave her face the majesty of a matriarch. She walked over from the corridor. Eris shouted "Mother!" and threw herself into her arms.
Rudeus glanced at Hilda's skirt dragging on the ground, then looked down at the passageway in front of him. The position where Alan was 'stuck' just happened to leave enough space for Hilda to walk past. He looked up at Alan's face. The latter was expressionless, having returned to the same expressionless state as before.
In his peripheral vision, mother and daughter were talking.
"Are you going to eat, Mother?"
"Ah... I... still need to think about it. What about you, Eris?"
"I'm going to take them to see the library and then eat! Sylphie is very interested in it!"
"...I see. Then you guys go ahead. Remember to come to the dining room to eat together later."
"Ah, Mother, can I eat with them?"
Tutors hired by the Boreas family were naturally not qualified to eat at the Boreas family's dining table with Hilda, Philip, and Sauros. Usually, the servants would prepare a separate meal for the guests.
Hilda seemed to be stunned for a moment before replying. "...Okay."
"Great!!"
The sound of footsteps resumed. The fiery red skirt dragged past them. Alan and Sylphie both bowed, but Rudeus looked straight at Hilda. As they passed each other, their eyes met briefly. At this moment, for some reason, Rudeus actually saw a trace of disgust in Hilda's eyes, but that disgust was mixed with a somewhat dazed and helpless expression on her face.
Was I disliked? But if you dislike someone, should you have that kind of expression?
Rudeus wasn't sure. If it were his old self, he would probably have thought so. But ever since he met Alan, especially after the snow valley monster tide incident, after he had come to regard Alan as a 'savior' from the bottom of his heart, he would always dream of the scene of being kicked out of his house, and the various expressions of his siblings.
Before he transmigrated, he only felt that his family's eyes were full of blatant disgust when they kicked him out, and their tone when they cursed at him was full of naked contempt. But he clearly remembered everyone's expressions when they ran towards Alan in the snow valley. Joy, relief, gratitude, guilt, confusion... human emotions are complex, not just one single thing.
Why could he feel so many emotions so clearly? Because he was in the crowd at that time, surrounded by all kinds of emotions. Of course he could feel what he was thinking.
After coming to this conclusion, the 'gazes' in his dreams became clearer. The expressions of his siblings also became more layered. Contempt? Disgust? What was beneath these superficial emotions?
The faint look of expectation when they opened the door, but the look of disappointment when they saw him still doing that with his eroge. Then came the rage, which sparked a fierce scolding. This was an emotional outburst that had accumulated from disappointment after disappointment.
And what were they expecting, and what were they disappointed about? Rudeus used Alan's usual method of questioning to 'torture' himself again, just like what he had done to Lilia in the snow valley, repeatedly torturing himself in multiple dreams. He came to a conclusion.
His siblings were 'expecting' that he, the shut-in, might have already left home, and was actually secretly going to the funeral because he was too ashamed to show his face. Even so, they might have had a reason to give him one last chance. But unfortunately, his former self had not exceeded their 'expectations', which was also the origin of their emotional outburst.
If he had apologized to everyone with a sincere attitude at that time, respected their attitude, begged for their forgiveness, and said that he would turn over a new leaf, just like Alan had asked Paul and Lilia to do on the night of the affair, instead of blindly protecting his computer, eroge, and wailing "don't do this to me"... would the result have been different?
Rudeus didn't know, and he would never have the chance to know. But at this moment, he clearly saw a similar situation in Hilda's eyes. He noticed it. It was an emotion that was layered upon layer. Not just simple dislike for him. Beneath that emotion, she was hiding other emotions. What were they?
In his thoughts, Hilda had already walked away. Rudeus, on a whim, turned to look at Alan's face. The faint smile he had shown for a moment had disappeared again. The many 'tests' from his biological father, his grandfather's 'rejection' without a second word. And after that? It was a mother who didn't recognize him but still instinctively shed tears.
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