Itachi had faced assassination attempts, endless war, and cosmic illusions—but nothing prepared him for Marineford.
It started innocently enough. With Nami's map now in hand (mostly just scribbles and drawings of treasure chests, with "don't go here, marines!" written everywhere), Itachi tried to navigate his way to a ship. Instead, he wandered straight onto the biggest, most fortified island in the world.
Crows scattered as he crossed the enormous plaza. Huge white towers rose on all sides, banners snapped in the wind, and everywhere he looked, soldiers in crisp blue and white uniforms drilled in perfect formation. To Itachi, it was like walking through an elaborate genjutsu—orderly, overbearing, and faintly ridiculous.
No one noticed him at first. But the moment he passed a row of statues (one of which a crow promptly perched on and pooped), the alarms began.
"INTRUDER! ALL HANDS ON ALERT! WHO LET IN THE GUY WITH THE CROWS?"
A squad of marines sprinted to block his path, swords and rifles raised, fear in their eyes.One trembling ensign squeaked, "S-sir, you're not supposed to be here! Surrender peacefully and—"
Itachi gave him a single, disinterested look. The ensign dropped his rifle and saluted instead. "Welcome, new admiral!"
In seconds, chaos spread. Marines tripped over themselves. Commanders barked contradictory orders. A lieutenant pointed at a freshly posted wanted poster: "It's him! The Crow King! Bounty: 300,000,000 and climbing!"
Itachi stood silently, trying to figure out which way was east. Behind him, a line of crows lined the plaza's railing, heads cocked expectantly.
A hush fell as the three Marine Admirals strode forward—Aokiji yawning, Kizaru humming, and Akainu radiating magma-hot rage.
Akainu cracked his fists, magma dripping. "You dare trespass on Marineford, pirate? This is an act of war!"
Itachi blinked, almost bored. "I just want directions."
Akainu, not big on small talk, fired a punch made of molten rock. "MAGMA FIST!"
Itachi vanished in a flutter of black feathers. Akainu's attack smashed a crater into the plaza, sending marines scrambling for cover.
A voice behind Akainu: "Missed."
He spun, only to see a crow sitting on his shoulder. The real Itachi was standing calmly on a rooftop, Sharingan spinning, a murder of crows swirling overhead.
Kizaru, curious, flickered beside Itachi in a burst of light. "Ooh, scary eyes. Fast, too. What's your fruit?"
Itachi just stared. "Fruit?"
Kizaru smirked, then realized he couldn't move his legs. "Huh. That's a new one…"
Aokiji wandered over, hands in his pockets, half-asleep. "Wouldn't it be easier to just leave him alone, Akainu? Guy just wants a map."
Akainu roared, sending magma flying. "He's an enemy of justice! He humiliated the marines, corrupted pirates, and… there are birds everywhere!"
Itachi's crows cawed in agreement, circling lower. The marines formed a desperate firing line, only to have their rifles stolen by opportunistic seagulls.
Realizing things were escalating, Itachi held up his hands. "I just want a boat. I don't want any more trouble."
But Akainu was beyond reason. "Then face justice!"
He lunged again—only to find, mid-swing, that the plaza was suddenly empty. Not a soul in sight.
Itachi stood in the center, completely alone except for Akainu, who now found himself standing knee-deep in a pool of… ink?
Akainu roared, trying to blast his way free, but the "ink" crawled up his arms, turning to a swirl of crows, and then—pop!—the illusion shattered. Akainu was lying flat on his back in the real plaza, coated in black feathers and surrounded by silent, shell-shocked marines.
Aokiji started laughing. Kizaru shrugged, wiggling his toes experimentally. "Never seen that before. Wouldn't want to fight him after lunch, that's for sure."
Akainu leapt up, eyes wild. "What did you do to me?!"
Itachi just walked away, leaving the admirals frozen in place, crows picking at their uniforms. "Thank you for the hospitality," he said, as if he'd merely dropped by for tea.
As he strolled toward the harbor, marines whispered in awe:"Did he just outplay Akainu?""He didn't even attack—he just… left!""Are we all in a genjutsu right now?"
The new posters went up instantly:"CROW KING – 500,000,000 Berries – Defeated Marine Admirals With Crows! Dangerous! Avoid Eye Contact!"
Itachi found the nearest dock, stepped aboard a rickety supply boat, and let the wind and his crows carry him away from Marineford.As the fortress faded behind him, he let out a long sigh.
"This world… is stranger than Tsukuyomi."
And for once, he felt almost at home.